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TurkeyRun

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<point of reference – see my post in the Introduce Yourself section: http://www.lds.net/forums/introduce-yourself/16708-new-guy.html>

So, after my wife and her daughter laughed themselves to tears at breakfast today about “the magic Mormon underwear”, I did get some decent conversation in with her (wife) this morning. We have agreed that she will not poke fun at my spiritual journey if I do the same to her. Fair enough – progress!

She has even been asking me about LDS beliefs, and seems to be in agreement with some of what I have learned regarding our existence before we got “here”, strong belief in family, education, and preparedness. I’m really not sure where she stands with Jesus Christ – she has some pretty whacked out ideas about something called The Course in Miracles if anyone is familiar with that. But, I digress.

Where do I start? I’ve read through most of the Book of Mormon, I already have a pretty strong background in the Holy Bible from my days as a Baptist. I’m about ½ way through Jesus the Christ. I picked up a copy of Mormonism for Dummies today (20% off at Borders). I don’t think the Mrs would be ready for the nice young men in ties with nametags to start coming by though, she’d probably flip again.

I have located the local meetinghouse – should I just show up one Sunday? I almost did today but between my cold feet, the little progress I made with my wife this morning, and my bike in pieces in the garage, I made enough excuses to blow it off.

I know y’all are pretty formal. I don’t have a suit except for the one I keep for funerals and court :D, I don’t think it fits anymore anyway. Would a shirt, tie, and sweater-vest be OK? What kind of reception will a guy in a beard and middle-of-the-back pony tail get? I have resigned myself to showing up in my pickup instead of the Harley :lol: One of my coworkers says I get away with some of the stuff I do, because “you’re the big scary guy”

Man, I’m nervous – should I just stay here in my den and keep reading and praying? Am I doing this all wrong? I don't know of any LDS folks nearby, I know one guy from college that I think I can track down.

What to do?

Thanks for letting me dump all my hang-ups on ya......

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Nothing sounds out of the ordinary here. Sure some will look at you depending on what part of the country you are in.

You can just show up. Ask who the Bishop is and seek him out and I am sure he will make sure you are introduced around.

Ben Raines

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Hi,

It is so cool that your wife will at least let you go to the Church. I ahve not even thought about asking mine. The local Chapel meets in Huntington Indiana on a temporary basis, THey are doing some renovations at the Chapel near where I live. I am hoping to be able to get over there and get some pictures o fhte Chapel. A "before and after", of the Chapel prior to completion. I guess they are projecting it to be finished sometim around May from what I hear. I am hoping that maybe the Wife will be O.K. with me going by then. I keep prayerful.

From what I have been told a simple shirt an tie will do fine. I do not have a lot of dress clothes myself. But I do have a couple of white shirts and ties along with a couple pairs of Dockers for good measure. Heck I am excited for you!

When you do get to go please let us know what your experience is will you? I would not think anyone would get on you about the ponytail.

Let us know how it goes.

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"Magic Mormon underwear," hmm? Yeah, that's not the first time I've heard that, and I doubt it'll be the last. Don't sweat that kind of thing; look on the bright side, at least the topic of your beliefs doesn't result in outright hostility and she's perfectly okay with you going to church. Though it might surprise you to know this, that's not a particularly common situation. Take advantage of the opportunity and the blessing that you have to attend church without being slammed for it, you know what I mean?

Your idea of formal wear sounds just fine to me. Haha, and I for one think you should ride the Harley (did someone tell you not to?). Church is really not the uptight affair that it may seem like at times. Sure, respect and reverence are a big part of it, but that doesn't mean there's no room for being yourself. Be outgoing, crack a joke here and there, laugh heartily, give back-slapping hugs, you know the drill. With time, you'll feel more and more comfortable and hopefully strike that balance between solemn spirituality and magnetic personality.

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Though it might surprise you to know this, that's not a particularly common situation. Take advantage of the opportunity and the blessing that you have to attend church without being slammed for it, you know what I mean?

So I'm beginning to gather! Maybe it turns out that I have one of the more understanding and open wives around here! It's really kind of ironic, she goes on about accepting everyone and their beliefs - then gets all hostile/mocking about LDS. But really, I guess the questions I have are more about my next steps.

I know I kind of led off with all the resistance at home, but it's probably really all about me.

Your idea of formal wear sounds just fine to me. Haha, and I for one think you should ride the Harley (did someone tell you not to?).

No, not at all. Let's just say that arriving anywhere with my bike is a tad less than subtle and indiscrete :D

Church is really not the uptight affair that it may seem like at times. Sure, respect and reverence are a big part of it, but that doesn't mean there's no room for being yourself. Be outgoing, crack a joke here and there, laugh heartily, give back-slapping hugs, you know the drill. With time, you'll feel more and more comfortable and hopefully strike that balance between solemn spirituality and magnetic personality.

Cool - I can do that!

Thanks,

~bc

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I might use a few terms that are unfamiliar to you. I'll try to explain them at the end of the post.

My dad serves on the High Council in his stake. He rides a Harley, and yes, his entrances are very indiscrete. He loves it. So do the youth and most of the other men, for that matter. A lot of the women just kind of shake their heads and smile. So anyway, on Sundays when my dad has to travel to other wards to speak, he often rides the Harley. If the Stake leaders feel comfortable riding a Harley to Church, I think you should too.

In fact, the way my dad decided to buy a Harley was pretty amusing. He was having a conversation with the Stake President and my dad mentioned he was thinking about buying a Corvette. The Stake President said, "No, I really think you should buy a Harley instead. You'll love it so much more." My dad wasn't about to ignore the counsel of his leaders.

Earlier this year, my dad was interviewed by a leader from Salt Lake as a potential candidate for the new Stake President. We tried really hard to get him to ride the Harley to the interview, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

So, in my opinion, you should definitely ride the Harley to church, and wear as much leather on your entrance as you can. A shirt and tie with nice pants under the chaps and jacket will be sufficient. But really, be you, and be true to yourself when you go. We conservative dressed and groomed mormons could really use a bit of non-conformity!

Ward--the primary unit of the church. Generally a congregation of 125 - 250 members

Stake--a group of wards, usually about 12, within a geographical area. Stake leadership is responsible for training and supporting ward leaders and programs.

High Council--the Stake Presidency is made up of three men, and they may call 12 additional men to the High Council to help them fulfill their duties. High Councilmen generally travel to different wards to speak, meet with local leaders, perform training, and handle situations that do not require the direct involvement of the Stake Presidency

Did I use any other funny words?

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Where do I start? I’ve read through most of the Book of Mormon,

What is most?

Keep reading. Its like you have already started.

So whats your thoughts on the whole Joseph Smith first vision?

I don’t think the Mrs would be ready for the nice young men in ties with nametags to start coming by though, she’d probably flip again.

This is the goal, this is what you want to have happen. Have you talked to her about it. Have you tried to figure out ways that maybe they can come by?

I have located the local meetinghouse – should I just show up one Sunday?

If you want to. This seems like the next step for you. This is going to get the missionaries involved, but also you well get to know members, maybe some in your area. Even more this might give you a place to meet with the missionaries. You could go to one of the members house (Bishop, Ward Mission Leader). So the goal is to start talking to the missionaries, but going to church is a step in the right direction.

Would a shirt, tie, and sweater-vest be OK?

Yes, that is perfectly fine. You probably well stand out some anyways. That’s to be expected! Us Mormons can smell a “new guy” a mile away. Wear whatever well make you feel comfortable. You might need to buy some better clothes down the line, but for now this is perfectly fine!

What kind of reception will a guy in a beard and middle-of-the-back pony tail get?

You won’t know unless you try!

Man, I’m nervous – should I just stay here in my den and keep reading and praying?

You aren’t going to get far on your “Spiritual Journey” staying in the den. You have made the first few steps. Now its time to keep moving forward. You realized going down this road isn’t going to be easy, or always be in your comfort zone. Its time, a new year! A good time to start the next step in the journey!

Good Luck!

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A shirt, tie, and sweater-vest is totally appropriate. When my brother-in-law decided to go to church, he only had work jeans and leather biker pants, and he and my sister agreed that the leather pants looked better, so he showed up in his leathers, with his long hair in a ponytail. (He left the Harley at home that first time too!) He said he got a few looks, but more than that, he got a lot of people introducing themselves and welcoming him because it was obvious he was new. A couple of years later, he got a calling to serve in the Bishopric, as a councilor to the Bishop, and the Bishop reminded him of how much of an impression my brother-in-law made his first day! Today my brother-in-law serves on the High Council, so beware of what can happen to an innocent man going to church in leather with a ponytail! :-)

All kidding aside, wear what makes you feel is most appropriate for you, and like MOE said above, go....be yourself. Sometimes it is hard to walk into a church alone, so if you want, most anyone on this board can tell you how to contact the missionaries and you can meet them there if you want. Then you would have someone to sit with, and they can answer any questions you might have.

Good luck to you! Please keep us posted.

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For the last month we have had an inactive member coming to church again. He's staying at an Alcoholic Rehab Camp within ward boundaries. He was baptized 30 years ago and hasn't been active since. When he was accepted at the Camp he called Church Headquarters and had his records sent to our ward.

He wears clean jeans and a clean sweatshirt, with tennis shoes. He is accepted and welcomed. Last week he said he felt like he should dress nicer, so the RS president found a white shirt and tie for him.

Somebody might look sideways at you, but for the most part you'll be welcomed warmly. I'm sure the leathers and Harley will draw the attention of the Young Men. :D

applepansy

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What is most?

Keep reading. Its like you have already started.

So whats your thoughts on the whole Joseph Smith first vision?

I made it up to the middle of Mosiah, then got impatient and dove into 3 Nephi as I knew that contained the Lord's ministry in North America. I have been stuck there, I've read it 5 times now.

As far as Joseph's story - I got that for the first time a year ago in SLC when I tool the tour and stuck around for the movie. I found it hard to leave the temple grounds and went back 2 more times that trip. To be honest, the whole visitation when he was young, and the Sacred Grove bit - almost had me in tears. It was beautiful.

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A Harley to church!! That is SO cool!! I would do it myself if i owned one, but i don't know how it would work with my skirt.

There's a guy in my ward with a beard and long, curly, shoulder-length hair, the same length as his wife's hair. I think they are long-time members, not really sure. I'm pretty new to the ward. But they have a calling in the primary (working with kids).

My husband has a beard too. Beards are SO sexy!!

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Live what you know to be true. That is the best thing you can do. It is impossible for a person to learn about Christ without learning anything about "Unconditional Love" which is also called the "pure love of Christ". This love does not compel nor force others to believe as we do...It is patience, understanding others and their wants and needs. It is able to forgive all things,,,being merciful etc. Unconditional Love is given regardless of what our Spouse does or say.

In our core....everyone wants to be loved and accepted unconditionally for who we are. Once this happens the person who feels this from their spouse shall begin to lose all fears at least regarding their spouse.

When we give "Unconditional Love" first we are never without love for God returns it to us as fast as we can give it out.

Though you are responsible for the Spiritual welfare of your family..there is little you can do until you yourself find that testimony and begin to hear God in your heart.

Peace be unto you

bert10

<point of reference – see my post in the Introduce Yourself section: http://www.lds.net/forums/introduce-yourself/16708-new-guy.html>

So, after my wife and her daughter laughed themselves to tears at breakfast today about “the magic Mormon underwear”, I did get some decent conversation in with her (wife) this morning. We have agreed that she will not poke fun at my spiritual journey if I do the same to her. Fair enough – progress!

She has even been asking me about LDS beliefs, and seems to be in agreement with some of what I have learned regarding our existence before we got “here”, strong belief in family, education, and preparedness. I’m really not sure where she stands with Jesus Christ – she has some pretty whacked out ideas about something called The Course in Miracles if anyone is familiar with that. But, I digress.

Where do I start? I’ve read through most of the Book of Mormon, I already have a pretty strong background in the Holy Bible from my days as a Baptist. I’m about ½ way through Jesus the Christ. I picked up a copy of Mormonism for Dummies today (20% off at Borders). I don’t think the Mrs would be ready for the nice young men in ties with nametags to start coming by though, she’d probably flip again.

I have located the local meetinghouse – should I just show up one Sunday? I almost did today but between my cold feet, the little progress I made with my wife this morning, and my bike in pieces in the garage, I made enough excuses to blow it off.

I know y’all are pretty formal. I don’t have a suit except for the one I keep for funerals and court :D, I don’t think it fits anymore anyway. Would a shirt, tie, and sweater-vest be OK? What kind of reception will a guy in a beard and middle-of-the-back pony tail get? I have resigned myself to showing up in my pickup instead of the Harley :lol: One of my coworkers says I get away with some of the stuff I do, because “you’re the big scary guy”

Man, I’m nervous – should I just stay here in my den and keep reading and praying? Am I doing this all wrong? I don't know of any LDS folks nearby, I know one guy from college that I think I can track down.

What to do?

Thanks for letting me dump all my hang-ups on ya......

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"magic mormon underwear"

My non-member husband used to teased me at first and called them granny underwear. I never told him that I didn't like him saying that, I just ignored him. I don't think he would've understood how sacred they are to me if I tried explaining.

Once he found out that "they" weren't going anywhere he got used to them:P

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<point of reference – see my post in the Introduce Yourself section: http://www.lds.net/forums/introduce-yourself/16708-new-guy.html>

I have located the local meetinghouse – should I just show up one Sunday? I almost did today but between my cold feet, the little progress I made with my wife this morning, and my bike in pieces in the garage, I made enough excuses to blow it off.

No need to be nervous. Yeah, you can just show up but the missionaries are there exactly for people like you - to help you thru that first Sunday so you don't get lost and confused. Plus, you would make the missionaries week if you called them up. If you don’t want to me meet them at your home would you be willing to meet them at the Church during the week? I'm sure they would be willing to meet with you anywhere. But you can show up on Sunday.

As for dress - dress your best and you will be fine. If that's a suit, then wear a suit. If that's Dockers then Dockers. If that's a sports jacket then sports jacket. If sweater then sweater. Actually, I see a number of members (men) who do where sweaters.

But whatever you do - you need to get with those missionaries. They will answer all your questions and help you learn of the Church.

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So after reading all your very helpful replies and praying about it, I've decided how to go about this.

I realized that my desire to dive in with both feet and just show up on a Sunday is probably OK, but perhaps not the ideal way to about this. I should go in via Missionaries and their guidance.

I think what I was doing was once again, trying to take charge and run things my way. Doing this has frequently landed me in some trouble, especially when there was a recommended way of doing things. I have a tendency to ignore or downplay sound advice. So, this time - I am going to do what is suggested.

I filled out the "have a missionary contact me" form on the LDS website. In the description section, I mentioned that we may or may not be able to meet in my home. We'll see what happens.

A sincere "thank you" to everyone who replied!

If this starts taking off, I'll perhaps start a blog here about my adventures :)

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So, in my opinion, you should definitely ride the Harley to church, and wear as much leather on your entrance as you can.

My first thought was "you'd better wear a bunch of leather or your an idiot, that's your armor!" LOL!

I don't ride a motorcycle, but they are cool vehicles.

Also, props to you. You're in my prayers Turkeyrun.

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I filled out the "have a missionary contact me" form on the LDS website. In the description section, I mentioned that we may or may not be able to meet in my home. We'll see what happens.

Nice. I'm not sure how quick they will respond from lds.org but they will respond for sure.

You could look in the phone book for your closest LDS meeting house/Church and call the number Tuesday night. Ask whoever answers to give your number to the missionaries and I'm sure they would give you a call that night or the next few days. If you don’t want to meet at your house they would be willing to meet you at the local meeting house/Church. And you would make the missionaries day if they could talk to you.

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I tried the number for the local ward a couple times today w/no luck. Looked at Google for "LDS missionary office North Carolina" - bingo!

A very nice lady took my info and I got a call back in about 10 minutes. They are coming by Monday evening.

Update on the family - wife says she is willing to listen and learn, "as long as they don't get all judgmental and tell us we're all going to Hell". She even started saying stuff like "ya know, the <something>'s were Mormon and they were really nice" and "I went to a Mormon camp when I was a kid" and (life long friend) "Patty was really into the Mormon thing for quite a while, I wonder how she is doing" so.... sounds like she is opening up a bit.

Oh, and when I told my teenage daughter abut the "clean cut college guys in ties" that would be coming by she got a big grin on her face and said "Cool!"

Haha - this is gonna be interesting!

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement folks!

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Great, I hope everything works out for you and your family, and my daughters always loved it when the missionaries came over for dinner .

I think your wife will open up to it too, let here conversion happen at her pace as well as your daughters and im sure you will all be on the same page soon enough, the spirit is a very powerful thing and they will feel his love and there hearts will open.

Edited by jolee65

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