Can you help me know how to feed my child?


Anna_loves_Ben
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My son is 4. And hes a little behind I supose. We are going to speach therapy once a week, and its helping. Anyways. My son dont eat right. People dont seem to concerned, not even doctors, well they are, but never help me.

He is a picky eater. But not like normal. Hear is what he eats.

Pop n chicken meals.

fishsticks

tater tots

chicken fingers

french fries

fruit snacks

other types of snacks

i can get him to eat 1 bite off a drum stick, it i begg.

and sometimes hell eat rasins but not often

I have him dring juice to get somthing in him, and v8 splash, but too much makes his belly upset. I also had him on pediasure, but it was making him so heavy, and hes now having problems with constipation. Im giving him oh..... the fiber stuff you stir in drinks per dr. recomendation, and some stuff to get his bowles moving again.

I know your probably thinking take away the junk and hell eat, but I have and he went 3 days with no eating and I had to get him somthing! So were back to this.

Dose anyone have any thoughts that can help!?!?

Thanks for your time.

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my younger sister ate Peanut Butter and Honey sandwiches on white bread until she was about 8 years old. She's in her 40s now and its still her favorite food. My mom (an RN) freaked out. The pediatrician wasn't concerned. My sister grew up healthy, and she's an RN too.

My children all have their picky food issues.

There are many ways to get kids to eat. There are many books. If he's within the normal ranges of height and weight I wouldn't worry too much.

I few months ago I bought Amazon.com: Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food: Jessica Seinfeld: Books Its a great book with good ideas for including veggies into foods that kids usually like.

I'm using the recipies and ideas to get more veggies in my husband's diet. :D

applepansy

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How does a 4 yr old get all that pre-cooked food? Are they going out to McDonalds or the frozen food section of the grocery store?

Rule in our house was you ate what mom made or you ate peanut butter and jelly.

I can't imagine a child going three days without eating any food, much less a four year old. He must have a stash of candy and snacks under the bed. :)

Ben Raines

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there is a cookbook that came out about a year ago called "Deliciously Deceptive" It has recipes for nutritious food that looks and taste like junk food! hahahahaha It really fools the kids!

You may try that as well as google to find something . There are also web sites about how to make your good food appeal to kids who will only eat the junk. HAve you tried apple sauce? How about fresh fruit in frozen yogurt? You could tell him it was ice cream.

It is hard for those who don't have a problem to relate to something they can't conceive. Don't let that discourage you. How your child got to where they are doesn't do much to help you now.

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Does your son have verbal dyspraxia? or something on the autistic spectrum? that would explain his restricted diet and you have to be very careful, my daughter would starve rather than eat something she didn't like. Its a very different issue getting my daughter to eat new foods I now know how different it is to a normal toddler now I have one of those, If I had taken away the foods she would eat she would have gone a long time without food. A lot of your post suggests he may have an autistic style problem even if he is intelligent and high functioning.

She ate huge amounts of everything then at 2.5 suddenly would only eat breakfast cereal, chicken nuggets and grapes, With my daughter when we stopped making a fuss and just giving her the food she would eat and then putting a little bit of the main meal on a plate next to her, then we put it on her plate, at 5 I can now feed her a healthy diet but has taken 2.5 years to get her happy to take new foods and even then we need to go slowly

My advice from the point of view of a child who has had a seriously restricted diet is ignore everyone else and concerntrate on using prayer, blessings and give your child what they will eat, because to not do so could cause more problems.

Also teaching him some relaxation techniques might help

-Charley

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How does a 4 yr old get all that pre-cooked food? Are they going out to McDonalds or the frozen food section of the grocery store?

Rule in our house was you ate what mom made or you ate peanut butter and jelly.

I can't imagine a child going three days without eating any food, much less a four year old. He must have a stash of candy and snacks under the bed. :)

Ben Raines

Ben, There are kids who develop "oral aversions" as infants. These kids will starve themselves before eating something that triggers the aversion. These were the skinny, sickly kids when you and I were growing up. There is more research and information out there now. With more information we've learned better ways of helping a child eat.

Insisting a 4yo go without food if he doesn't eat what is placed before him is not an option in today's world. In some places it even considered abuse or neglect.

My daughter wouldn't eat. It took someone sitting next to her hand feeding her until she was almost 10. Drove us all nuts. She outgrew it, but still has foods she won't touch. My 27yo will starve before eating tomatoes. . . ketchup is ok, go figure. :D

My point is that what we did as parents or what we dealt with as children doesn't apply in today's world. Not on this subject anyway.

applepansy

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Just so I understand what is being said is the human body has changed in the last 30 years or is it what Psychologists are telling us that has changed.

Sorry but I still believe in being the parent and not having a three year old tell me what I should do. But I digress and this does not help this sister with her situation.

Please accept my heartfelt concern for your child and I will remove myself from this thread to not derail it further.

Warmest regards,

Ben Raines

No sarcasm intended.

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I wonder if the new cook book by Jerry Seinfeld's wife might help. She blends the veggies and hides them in things like muffins and other familiar foods. Maybe if you hide the nutrients your son won't know the difference and you'll feel better knowing he is getting something better than just chicken nuggets.

Also, will he take a multivitamin? You know, a cute little dinosaur shaped one that tastes like grape?

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Just so I understand what is being said is the human body has changed in the last 30 years or is it what Psychologists are telling us that has changed.

Sorry but I still believe in being the parent and not having a three year old tell me what I should do. But I digress and this does not help this sister with her situation.

Please accept my heartfelt concern for your child and I will remove myself from this thread to not derail it further.

Warmest regards,

Ben Raines

No sarcasm intended.

I don't think its our physiology so much, but I do know as early as 1920s my Great Gran who had raised 4 unfussy kids who had to eat what she gave them as there was nothing else, she then got 2 kids that remained fussy into their 80s,. by all accounts she was the worlds scariest, most fearsome, competant, well respected Mother, like Ap said they were the sickly ones had they be born just 10 years earlier

_Charley

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Just so I understand what is being said is the human body has changed in the last 30 years or is it what Psychologists are telling us that has changed.

Sorry but I still believe in being the parent and not having a three year old tell me what I should do. But I digress and this does not help this sister with her situation.

Please accept my heartfelt concern for your child and I will remove myself from this thread to not derail it further.

Warmest regards,

Ben Raines

No sarcasm intended.

No Ben. The human body hasn't changed. We just now understand why children used to die of "failure to Thrive".

I agree that parents need to be parents.

applepansy

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I have looked at the Deceptively Delicious book myself and not to offend anyone, but I don't think it would be very helpful. The reason I say that is that the recipes have an awful lot of white sugar and flour, which aren't going to help your son, to only get a little bit of vegetables. The amount of vegetables in the recipes is really quite minimal compared to the sugar added.

One thing I have done is to get a small handheld blender that will mix foods rights in the pan. In that way I can mix the vegetables altogether and disguise them if I need to. Will he eat spaghetti sauce? If so, then add some carrots or zuchinni to the sauce and blend it in. You could also dump it in the blender and mix them in once they are cooked up enough to be soft.

Another suggestion I have is to try to learn to cook as much as you can and try to make healthier versions of what he likes. It sounds like you are buying a lot of processed foods, and they are going to be very hard on his little system with all of the preservatives and bad oils and fake stuff in them. When I say processed foods I am referring to anything that comes in a box or a package or a container that when you read the list of ingredients you don't know what the stuff is. Try to use whole and natural foods instead, just the plain old version of the food like fruit and vegetables, grains, meats, whatever. I know it's not easy to avoid processed foods but the more you avoid them and stick to more whole and natural foods, the better everyone in your family will feel. You really can make something much healthier than what you buy. For example, if he really likes chicken fingers, you could try making a healthier version of them at least. Like you could try frying some chicken in a pan for him, or even chop up the chicken into bite size pieces and bread the chicken a bit if you like and then fry it. If he really likes french fries, then make homemade ones where you peel potatoes and then cut them into french fry shapes, then coat in olive oil and salt, then put them on a cookie sheet and put them on broil in your oven until they cook. If he likes fruit snacks, try replacing it with some freeze dried fruit. They are a sweet snack that come in a little bag, but it's just plain fruit and no sugar so he will get some good stuff out of it. Or maybe try chopping up fruit and drying it yourself if you can find a dehydrator. One great site for looking for good recipes if allrecipes.com. You can search for a recipe with certain ingredients if you like. You can find recipes that will be healthier versions of processed stuff you get at the store that will be much more helpful.

It sounds like your son is really having some stomach with the constipation and all of that. This would be greatly helped by cutting out as much of the processed foods as you possibly can. Another thing that really helps with the stomach digestion is to get a good probiotic. Eating lots of processed food like he is doing uses up a lot of the good bacteria that is in his stomach very quickly, and if he's every been on antibiotics, then it makes it even worse. Having him take a probiotic will add in some of the good bacteria into his little stomach so that he can digest things easier. A good one for kids that I have used is Primal Defense for Kids. It's a powder that's banana flavored that you can add to their food, so he will probably never know the difference. You can get it on vitaminlife.com for a good price.

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I hae only used a few of the recipies in Deceptively Delicious. What I took from the book is the ideas. How to add veggies to my current recipies. It is amazing how butternut squash added to Macaroni and Cheese makes it more filling and healthy, yet can't be detected. Spinach in brownies. . .works for me!!!

applepansy

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The basics of biochemistry should not be ignored. Keep the kids away from sugars. As long as they are short on simple carbs they will eat just about anything you put in front of them. Now, taste is an acquired skill. Most people that have never seen a carrot would eat it raw. So do not expect your kids to eat them either. Add peanut butter to it but not jelly. I intro my kids to broccoli slightly steamed and with melted butter. Let them dip in it and make a mess but they eat it. Now that they are a little older I send them on a quest for exotic recipes for Brussels sprouts.....?

Food should be fun, not just healthy. Hated when I took my wife to dinner (while dating) and she ordered a salad and tic tac for desert.

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Here is something I do for myself and my grand daughter who has cute chewable chubs.

I take bananas, (or any other fresh fruit strawberries & bananas are great) put that along with a little bit of milk in the blender & blend. Then add a little Splenda, vanilla, & taste. Add whatever you need to taste good for you. Then add ice chunks and blend, blend, blend. It tastes like fruit milkshakes! It is so healthy you can have it for breakfast! Once your kid is hooked, you can sneak stuff in like wheat germ, flax seed, or All Bran. Little by little of course! Another thing is to let the kids drop the stuff in and turn the blender on!

If you have left over, put in popsicle molds or ice trays for later. I know you can't eat this all 3 meals, but you could for 2! You can also take the almost perfect food, eggs, and let your kid help you make deviled eggs. They seem to be willing to taste stuff they help make.

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It's hard, I know. My boy likes all those things, and like yours, really sticks with meats. I thought kids loved noodles and crackers, but not this boy!

I've also fallen into the chicken nugget/fish stick/premade food trap. It's easy, kids like it, and it's not so bad. But if that's all their eating, it's a lot of sodium and salt and not that many good things. What I did to help my super picky, not that hungry (for healthy stuff) son was to keep offering him the good stuff. Even if we were having grilled cheese sandwhiches for the umpteenth time, there was still green beans on his plate. He hated green beans! He wouldn't even touch them for litterally two years, then one day he picked one up, ate it, then finished the rest. Same thing with pizza. He doesn't like anything on it, and usually would only eat the cheese (I'm seeing a pattern) then one day he picked up slice, and ate it with mushrooms and artichoke hearts and spinach.

This probably isnt' very healthy, but I'm really into bribery. If you eat this brocolli you can have a chocolate chip!

The number one thing that got my son eating was eating with other kids. The moment I started a day care he started to bulk up. When it's lunch time it's so quiet.... everyone is just munching away, on whatever I give them. If they dont' like it but see someone else eating it then having dessert, they eat it too.

oh, and don't stress about it too much. I knew my son didn't eat very much sometimes, but he would eat when he was hungry. I stuck to regular meal times and always had healthy and fun food on hand and he finally started eating stuff.

This probably isn't a very helpful post, but just know there are a lot of picky kids out there that turned out ok. Plus, he'll eat what you have in the house, if you have processed food and sugary things in the house, he'll hold out until he gets those. Just keep trying new things and lead by example. Good luck!

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Your son can still have all of the items you listed and eat healthily.

The trick is to make them yourself.

He likes french fries? No problem, but skip out on Mickey D's and instead just wash a potato and slice it into sticks or wedges. Spray some olive oil on a baking pan, and throw them in the oven. You don't even have to season them, but you can if you want to. It's JUST as easy as putting frozen fries in the oven, and it tastes just the same. But you don't have all the grease or preservatives on it.

Chicken strips are the same. Instead of buying frozen ones, cut up strips of chicken breast and throw them in some flour and seasoning. Stick them in the oven and bake them.

I wouldn't suggest using white flour because there are so many healthy alternatives, but even WITH the white flour it's ten times better for your son than the flash-fried frozen crap you buy at the grocer.

I thought I saw pop on your list too....if he HAS to have soda then there are tons of alternatives that are caffeine and sugar free. Fanta has new soda out now that doesn't have any sugar or caffeine and it's really good!

Seriously, make your own food. Sure there are some foods that will never make it into a Weight Watcher's cookbook no matter what you do, but ANYTHING you make at home is going to be better for you than food from the freezers in Wal Mart because you can alter it to fit your nutritional needs.

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Your son can still have all of the items you listed and eat healthily.

I thought I saw pop on your list too....if he HAS to have soda then there are tons of alternatives that are caffeine and sugar free. Fanta has new soda out now that doesn't have any sugar or caffeine and it's really good!

[quote

What is Fanta sweetened with?

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I make chicken nuggets with chicken breast meat and generic shake-n-bake. They're easy and WAY healthier than the pre-made ones!

Kids like dip - I mix ketchup with plain yogurt for a dip, and the kids like it. Spaghetti sauce is another good dip. Banana dipped in vanilla yogurt is yummy.

My son went through a picky phase - I sometimes served his lunch in a 6-cup muffin tin. I put cubes of cheese in one cup, bread cubes in another, peach slices in another...the novelty had him trying things he wouldn't have otherwise. My daughter who "doesn't like turkey" eats deli turkey slices when I call them "ham". I roll them up with a bit of cheese in a tortilla and skewer it with a frilly toothpick.

Good luck - it's a hard thing to get through. Neither I nor any of my brothers or sisters was picky, and my parents assume it's my fault that my kids are! It's frustrating, but I know it's just who the kids are - I am indeed doing the best I can with the cards I've been dealt.

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trouble is he appears to have a developmental delay, bowel and speech problems as well as his restricted diet. IF a child is anywhere on the autistic spectrum he isn't going to accept the alternatives to what he eats, the texture will be different, I know with Ellie that her nuggets had to be the right kind of batter, even now she will only eat McDonald's nuggets, even though she will eat other foods, if indeed he is on the autistic spectrum she is doing really, really well, most kids there are even more restricted. To have him at his age eating more than just a couple of things is an achievement. I know I am very fortunate with my daughter at 5 to be able to feed her a healthy diet but when she gets sick on any level we can have weeks of her barely eating anything.

The thing we started with was veggie nuggets and some fruit.

-Charley

Edited by Elgama
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  • 2 weeks later...

My son is 4. And hes a little behind I supose. We are going to speach therapy once a week, and its helping. Anyways. My son dont eat right. People dont seem to concerned, not even doctors, well they are, but never help me.

He is a picky eater. But not like normal

Hey Anna, I just want to reiterate what Elgama has said about autism spectrum disorder kids. It could be what is going on here. My kids all are high functioning autistic kids. It's a rough road. You need to learn that if the pediatrician is saying the same thing to you, and no progress is being made, go to a specialist. In this case, a pediatric gastroenterologist.

I already can tell there is a problem here, in that constipated kids are not supposed to receive fiber until after they have been cleaned out. Then you give them fiber. Sometimes a cleanout is actually performed at a hospital overnight for these kids. There is a lot to know, but do know that intestinal problems are correlated with brain problems such as autism and ADHD. The lining is the same. There is a lot of research at the Univ of Utah going on about it.

Also, make sure he is growing properly, at the right rate. Make the doctor plot it over the past year or so and compare it to normal growth.

The good news is he is not in school yet. Being in the bathroom for hours is embarrassing in front of friends. You need to get him regulated completely before kindergarten. I recommend the in hospital cleanout as the quickest way to get him on track, but you have to find a good pediatric gastro. first. He'll also know what to feed him and what order to introduce the foods while phasing out the others.

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