Nursing in the chapel


jolee65
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I wasnt sure why she would feel the need to nurse in the chapel sitting right next to the missionaries, when her 2 yrs old was only fussing alittle. it wasnt during sacrument, she wasnt alone with three little ones. Im a mom, not youngsters but i nursed my oldest when she was born , I can understand when you need to tend to a child but her husband was there she wouldnt have missed the service in the mothers room.

My youngest was with us we sat right behind them, the one missionary did a double take ,lol. my daughter just looked at me like why is she do that in here, I did tell her the only time that is exceptable is if you were in a situation and couldnt get some where private.

Do you agree?

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My thoughts, in the order they happened.

1. As long as she doesn't show ANY boob.

2. I wouldn't care if they did. I have seem people do that, I didn't care.

3. Isn't that what the mothers lounge is for?

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I nursed my son until he was 2 and a half, but after the first 18 months it was all done at home and usually around bedtime or during the night. Personally, I never wanted to make anyone feel uncomfortable around me so I'd always be very discrete in public, at least making sure I was well covered and not drawing attention to myself. That being said, if this turns into an argument about nursing in public, I'd probably be on the side of mothers having a right to nurse their children without restrictions being put on it especially when people talk about it in connection with specific rules or legislation. As with my feelings on a lot of topics though, I wish people would be quick to cut each other slack AND have general common courtesy in looking out for the comfort level of those around them, but I guess that's a little too idealistic for today's society.

No nursing in front of missionaries wouldn't have been my choice, but I don't think it would be appropriate to make an issue out of it. Breastfeeding is a touchy subject in and out of the church as it is, and at least in all the states I've lived in, there are specific laws that give her the right to do what she did.

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My thoughts, in the order they happened.

1. As long as she doesn't show ANY boob.

2. I wouldn't care if they did. I have seem people do that, I didn't care.

3. Isn't that what the mothers lounge is for?

Well, in my ward the Mother's Lounge is also the "hang out and chat" lounge, which is why I've often nursed in the chapel (always well covered!). Sometimes I'll go to the Mother's Lounge first to see if it's empty, but if there's already other moms in there chatting away loud enough to drown out the speaker system, then it's back to the chapel for me and my baby.

I've also nursed in class during Sunday School (I always try to sit in the very back corner) and Relief Society, because you can't hear those lessons in the Mother's Lounge. All of my small babies have been very frequent nursers, so if I've wanted to get *anything* out of my Sunday meetings during those first six months, then my only option was to nurse in class/Sacrament meeting.

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I feel very strongly that women should feel uninhibted to nurse whenever and wherever they like. Our puritanical culture inherantly looks down upon anything that might involve the removal of clothing in public, which is great for preventing the exposure of pornographic images to young impressionable minds, but terrible in light of the fact that less than 30% of mothers nurse their children through the first six months.

Of course being discrete is a courtesy nursing mothers should consider extending to others, but I for one would rather nurse in the chapel than pack everything up and step all over people trying to get out of the pew, disrupting the service as I drag a screaming infant across the chapel and out the doors. It's easy to be discrete (I use a "hooter hider"--$8 at Target), and most people don't even notice. The nursing lounge is great, but women shouldn't feel like they're "banished" there to feed their babies. If she wants to stay put, I say let her and bravo for nursing her baby :)!

ETA: If those missionaries were disturbed by a mother discretely and modestly nursing her baby during sacrament meeting, they should thank their lucky stars they didn't get sent to any South American missions :)!

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When I was in a highly new immigrant ward of several cultures, we (RS presidency) had to let the sisters know of lots of American LDS cultural ways. One was about the nursing lounge. We encouraged them to use it right up to the minute of Sacrament, so the babies would be full. Then for Sunday School and Relief Society time, they could nurse in the back if they wanted.

I share this since there is so much more diversity than many know within the church.

These same sisters would at first allow their children (even bigger kids) to walk around the chapel (even across the organ pedals once!) Why? Can you imagine? Well, they had never attended Sacrament meetings in a chapel, always met in someone's home, so it was very different and much more serious than what they were used to. We had to help train the kids (sit by the door, when they can't sit any longer stretch legs in foyer and listen, come back in - compliment the kids for progress).

Some also wore pants, for the same casualness that comes from meeting in a home or building. Anyway, sometimes it is a cultural thing, but just like wearing a dress in the Sacrament room, I don't think that taking it to the nursing lounge, pumping a bottle beforehand, or nursing them up to the minute it begins are unreasonable expectations. Babies do sometimes pull the blanket down, or suck so people can hear nearby.

I'm not sure of the background of this mother, but if anything, tell her you'll watch her stuff so she doesn't need to move it while she nurses and that you'll carry it into Sunday School if she takes awhile. If she has younger kids offer to watch them or have some young women watch them when she leaves. But remember, she might just not know that usually in the US we don't nurse during Sacrament.

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A huge part of me says good on her, to be honest missionaries we have had here are the least likely to feel uncomfortable when I was newly nursing it was the missionaries who encouraged me not to go in another room like they said their Mom did it and its wasn't something that bothered them, I think its sad that a woman in a Burkha in a Muslim country will not think twice about nursing where she is in public, and that in a church that is supposed to encourage families we are discouraged from doing something that is best for our children. Especially as Mary would probably have nursed Jesus in public without thinking twice or anything was wrong with it right up until the grand old age of 3 or 4 , if he had children they would have been. The WHO recommend that we breastfeed for at least 2 years, In the Scotland it is now illegal to stop a Mother nursing in a restaurant etc and like my husband said intially he was a bit awkward now its normal,

My experience with Mother's Lounge;'s when I have travelled is they have been irreverant and the changing area stank, I refuse to breastfeed a baby anywhere where there is excrement - I wouldn't eat or drink sitting on the toilet why should they have to.

I remember a thread about this I had posted intially, when someone had said about men getting turned on, my husband was his usual self and commented maybe there should be also be a room for the man who can't cope,

-Charley

Edited by Elgama
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I have nothing against breast feeding our children, If asked by a soon to be mother if it was something I did and would I do it again , I would say yes, I highly recommend it for your baby and your relationship with your little bundle.

I dont think its a problem for mothers to feed there baby in public, but there are rooms even in most malls were its a lounge and not in the toilet.

In a resturant sit in the back in a booth , if available. it just seems like the privacy is lacking.

our branch presidents wife before he was BP had her 4th son , and they sat right behind me and my family , she was well covered but the little guy had a hard time latching on , so you kept hearing this slurping half suction sound , lol and it was very distracting. and all the young men around her kept turning around and stairing at her , she never got up it just continued.

Maybe they were talking about the women that breast feed that werent there wives, why would most womens husbands get excited about a boob they've seen half a dozen times , its the ones they havent lol.

Edited by jolee65
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if I had, had to go to a room and be isolated with my son I would never have got anywhere he fed every 2 hours right up until he was about 12 months and the next 4 months every 3 or 4 hours... I ended up having to stop because he wouldn't take his milk any other way and I as ill. I fed him on the go in a sling most of the time

Church was actually the only place I felt uncomfortable or was ever made to feel uncomfortable feeding my child. I like seeing Mums feeding their children on buses and in restaurants. My daughter never questioned it but had she done so I would just the Mummy needed to feed her baby, don't see the point in making her feel uncomfortable feeding her babies in public or that its something to be ashamed of.

-Charley

Edited by Elgama
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Question for those of you who said that slurping sounds made folks uncomfortable--do you think those same folks would feel equally as uncomfortable if the baby was slurping from a bottle, or is it the fact that the noises are coming from the baby's mouth on mom's breast that makes them feel ill-at-ease?

Also, for those of you who are pro-loungers, are you okay with moms feeding babies from bottles in the chapel? Should they excuse themselves as well with a fussy, hungry, slurping baby?

I ask b/c there seems to be an inconsistancy here--is the lounge for the privacy of the potential exposed breast, or is it due to the noises that hungry babies make? Or both? Is it that people are bothered by the idea of mothers breastfeeding and the potential for exposure--the mental image nursing creates--rather than the actual sight? I respect the opinions of those who are pro-lounge and I totally understand where you're coming from (my mom and sister-in-law are loungers and probably think a little less of me for nursing anywhere I feel like it); but I am also bothered by the stigma breastfeeding in public has. Perhaps if folks opened their minds a little more and got over the subconscious adolescent "heh, heh, boobies" mentality (ESPECIALLY the men), more mothers would be willing to nurse their babies longer.

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Question for those of you who said that slurping sounds made folks uncomfortable--do you think those same folks would feel equally as uncomfortable if the baby was slurping from a bottle, or is it the fact that the noises are coming from the baby's mouth on mom's breast that makes them feel ill-at-ease?

Also, for those of you who are pro-loungers, are you okay with moms feeding babies from bottles in the chapel? Should they excuse themselves as well with a fussy, hungry, slurping baby?

I ask b/c there seems to be an inconsistancy here--is the lounge for the privacy of the potential exposed breast, or is it due to the noises that hungry babies make? Or both? Is it that people are bothered by the idea of mothers breastfeeding and the potential for exposure--the mental image nursing creates--rather than the actual sight? I respect the opinions of those who are pro-lounge and I totally understand where you're coming from (my mom and sister-in-law are loungers and probably think a little less of me for nursing anywhere I feel like it); but I am also bothered by the stigma breastfeeding in public has. Perhaps if folks opened their minds a little more and got over the subconscious adolescent "heh, heh, boobies" mentality (ESPECIALLY the men), more mothers would be willing to nurse their babies longer.

I'm in solidarity with you here, sister. Whenever I whip out my boob in the chapel, they always tell me to leave. :(

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I wasnt sure why she would feel the need to nurse in the chapel sitting right next to the missionaries, when her 2 yrs old was only fussing alittle. it wasnt during sacrument, she wasnt alone with three little ones. Im a mom, not youngsters but i nursed my oldest when she was born , I can understand when you need to tend to a child but her husband was there she wouldnt have missed the service in the mothers room.

My youngest was with us we sat right behind them, the one missionary did a double take ,lol. my daughter just looked at me like why is she do that in here, I did tell her the only time that is exceptable is if you were in a situation and couldnt get some where private.

Do you agree?

It is our culture beliefs of moving any nursing mother to a nursing room and not to be done in the chapel.

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Well, in my ward the Mother's Lounge is also the "hang out and chat" lounge, which is why I've often nursed in the chapel (always well covered!). Sometimes I'll go to the Mother's Lounge first to see if it's empty, but if there's already other moms in there chatting away loud enough to drown out the speaker system, then it's back to the chapel for me and my baby.

Seriously!

My sister is a private person so she always used the mother's lounge. But, she would find people chatting and they wouldn't leave. She even had someone come in while she was breastfeeding. It was a man using the mother's lounge to extend the calling. He was surprised someone was in there but he DIDN'T LEAVE. The person being extended the calling was shocked and didn't know what to do (she was in YW's).

I also remember going off to use the mother's lounge during sacrament meeting only to find kids from the other ward playing around in there instead of going to class. I, not being shy, asked for a seat and once I started getting ready to whip out that boob those girls left. LOL! But not everyone is like me.

I preferred nursing the lounge because they have nice comfy chairs and arm rests which makes breast feeding far more comfy than in the pews.

I've also nursed in class during Sunday School (I always try to sit in the very back corner) and Relief Society, because you can't hear those lessons in the Mother's Lounge. All of my small babies have been very frequent nursers, so if I've wanted to get *anything* out of my Sunday meetings during those first six months, then my only option was to nurse in class/Sacrament meeting.

Amen! I had to feed my kiddo frequently too and sometimes I really didn't want to miss a great lesson so I'd feed the kiddo in the back.

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When serving in the Bishopric, the mother's lounge or nursing room was off limits to all males. :lol:

now in the wards I have visited with one isn't that were the changing space is? I have issues with that too men should be allowed to change their babies, in our branch the changing space in the back of the ladies loo, wondering if that will change now our branch president has a baby due:)

-Charley

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we have a changing station in our men's room, though i don't know that it's ever been used lol

lol I just know my husband has the choice between barging into the ladies or going into another room but it means during class time only I can change my baby, as Sunday is one of the few days I parent double handed why shouldn't it be my dirty nappy day off, having said that I know my hubby is an amazing Dad that way, Stake Presidents wife asked me how I coped in our branch as RS is stuck in the chapel bit with screens across so in order to take my baby out I need to disturb priesthood she was shocked when I said I just gave the baby to my hubby:o

Also shouldn't there be a place where fathers of bottle fed or women who can express can take their fractious children?

-Charley

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around here it's getting more common for the men to take the little ones out in the hall or during priesthood and sunday school than it used to be. which i think is wonderful.... but i think the women still get stuck with the diapers. i don't want it to sound like my husband doesn't change diapers, he does change them but when we are out and about it usually becomes my job.

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now in the wards I have visited with one isn't that were the changing space is? I have issues with that too men should be allowed to change their babies, in our branch the changing space in the back of the ladies loo, wondering if that will change now our branch president has a baby due:)

-Charley

The latest design buildings do have bathroom changing stations in the mens room. If it is an older building, there are some that I had seen did not.

If anyone building does not have a mother's room, talk to the Building Bishop and see if there is space for this.

In the past, my beloved companion nurse each of our eight children during church hours. It was a comfort me, she can do this and I can at times, play an active role in switching off with her when changing diapers.

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I remember a thread about this I had posted intially, when someone had said about men getting turned on, my husband was his usual self and commented maybe there should be also be a room for the man who can't cope,

-Charley

:rofl::twothumbsup:

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this just seemed to fit here..... lol taken from.... Robert Fulghum, OFFICIAL Website, see NEW stories!

PART THREE - ALLEY OOPS - A PERK OF NOTORIETY

And now for something completely different. A small encounter while out walking yesterday thinking about writing this journal.

Early morning, not long after daybreak.

I’m about twenty blocks from home in a residential neighborhood on the other side of Queen Anne Hill from where I live. Carrying a full load of coffee, I forgot to take a prophylactic pee before I left my house, and now the pressure is building. I will never make it home in time.

Optimistically I hustle down to a Porta-Potty in front of a construction site. Locked. A small park a block away looks promising, but it’s full of the morning dump-the-dog people. It’s socially acceptable for dogs to do their awkward business in public, but old guys whizzing behind a tree is not.

Now I’m getting desperate.

At the first alley I come to I urgently scope out some possibility - maybe between garbage cans - maybe behind an open garage door - maybe wedged in behind a telephone pole. No, no, and no. All too public.

Finally, further up the alley, it’s ohmygod time and I carefully squeeze into some blackberry bushes and empty my bladder up against a fence in a stream a small horse would be proud of. I laugh and sigh in relief.

“All better?” a sweet voice asks.

Stunned, I look up to the back of the house to which the fence belongs.

A young woman is sitting in a porch swing nursing her baby.

She giggles. “It’s alright,” she says. “I understand.”

“It’s like nursing,” she says, gesturing down at her exposed breast.

“It’s a very human thing to do.”

“Thanks,” I say, with a nervous laugh.

“Actually,” she says, I know who you are. You’re that kindergarten guy, right? I’ve read your book. But I won’t tell anybody that you peed on my fence. In an odd way, I’m honored.”

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