I feel rejected...


trulykiwi
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I just wanted to post here because I'm feeling pretty down right now. I have (what I thought was) a very good friend and whilst we catch up every now and then, we mostly keep in touch via Facebook.

Well today he had something in his status about 'the dark side' etc and how he was heading

there... so I said "but light is knowledge, my friend"... I think it was pretty light hearted, I wasn't getting all religious and heavy on him... I'm not into pushing my faith onto anyone else. But then he replied back implying that the light side is for goody goody boring people and he'd "rather be on the dark side as there's people he wants to meet there and what is the point of knowledge when you're dead anyway".

So I kinda took offence to that and told him so - and consequently he deleted me!!

I'm just shocked - mainly at his lack of respect for my thoughts and feelings. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion ... and shouldn't be judged for it. But, gosh i just feel totally belittled and made fun of and considered "boring" and "a goody goody" because of what I am!!

I'm sorry to go on... I just feel really sad right now. I try not to judge people and I don't like to be judged - I get enough of that from my family (who are anti-mormon!), but my husband and I are doing really well in the church now... I'm finally where I want to be... and striving hard to be better.... but I'm happy, we are happy. It's just hard now that it seems I have lost a friendship because of my faith.

I wish I could show people like that what the truth is. I wish they could just understand a little of the truth. I wish I could show them that there is life after death.... that by doing good and striving to be like Jesus Christ will make you a whole lot happier and be much more fulfilling than striving for worldly things......

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It is hard to lose a friend over our faith. I had a similar situation with a good friend who I chatted with for years about chronic health issues. One day she asked me if I was LDS. When I said yes, she asked me what we believed in. So I emailed her the 13 Articles of Faith. She took exception to #8 "We believe the Bible to be the bword of God as far as it is translated ccorrectly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God." I never heard from her again.

There is nothing wrong with being considered a "goody goody." I'm proud of the names people use to try to make me feel small because of my beliefs. Goody Goody, Molly Mormon, etc. they represent people who are trying to be and do better. Try not to be offended by the names.

Its ok to grieve. You've lost a friend and that's hard. But don't lose hope. There might come a day with this friend runs into another Mormon, remembers you and stops to listen.

applepansy

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I know how it is to lose a friend. Many actually. I have trust issues, and one thing that i learned is to push away those who won't accept me for who i am. I don't think it is necessary to have that kind of negativity reflected upon. By doing so, my life become a bit more peaceful. And I'm sure that one day your friend will realize how mean he was to you. It always happens one way or the other, when someone does something to hurt someone else, it will always go back to them...kinda like "what goes around, comes around" Something will make him see that he was wrong!

One thing though is to never let those kind of people get to you! EVER. Be proud!

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I don't know why he took it so personally, but if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. Judging by his reaction, if it wasn't this incident, it would've been another. I say you're better off not having a friend like that - excuse me if I'm a little out of line with that comment, but it's meant as a compliment! You're obviously a very caring person. I'm glad you're happy with your husband, and I wish you the best of luck with your friends in the future. ^_^ Don't let it get you down!

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Thank you all for your replies, you're all right and I'm so grateful for your support and uplifting comments :) Thank you, it means a lot.

I guess it's just one of those things that I will come to accept. Kind of like my family - I must not judge them, but love them. However, in regards to this particular friend - well, like you all have mentioned, I'm probably better off not knowing someone that judges me for this kind of thing.

It's a little hard as we have just moved 8 hours away from where we were and my husband and I have just started at a new ward - we know no-one here in this new city, but we enjoy our new ward. Don't really know anyone there yet... but I guess that will take time :)

I would love to make some friends on here, to chat with, share good times and troubling times and continue to increase my knowledge with other LDS. So.. yeah feel free to say 'hi' and PM if you want :) But I might just stick around this forum as you're all so nice and it's great to meet a great little LDS community - even if it is online! lol

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I just wanted to post here because I'm feeling pretty down right now. I have (what I thought was) a very good friend and whilst we catch up every now and then, we mostly keep in touch via Facebook.

Well today he had something in his status about 'the dark side' etc and how he was heading

there... so I said "but light is knowledge, my friend"... I think it was pretty light hearted, I wasn't getting all religious and heavy on him... I'm not into pushing my faith onto anyone else. But then he replied back implying that the light side is for goody goody boring people and he'd "rather be on the dark side as there's people he wants to meet there and what is the point of knowledge when you're dead anyway".

So I kinda took offence to that and told him so - and consequently he deleted me!!

I'm just shocked - mainly at his lack of respect for my thoughts and feelings. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion ... and shouldn't be judged for it. But, gosh i just feel totally belittled and made fun of and considered "boring" and "a goody goody" because of what I am!!

I'm sorry to go on... I just feel really sad right now. I try not to judge people and I don't like to be judged - I get enough of that from my family (who are anti-mormon!), but my husband and I are doing really well in the church now... I'm finally where I want to be... and striving hard to be better.... but I'm happy, we are happy. It's just hard now that it seems I have lost a friendship because of my faith.

I wish I could show people like that what the truth is. I wish they could just understand a little of the truth. I wish I could show them that there is life after death.... that by doing good and striving to be like Jesus Christ will make you a whole lot happier and be much more fulfilling than striving for worldly things......

In the end, we shall stand together in few numbers. :cool:

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I think being online and expressing real feelings means we all will be rejected sometime. I suppose it is the risk we take when we extend ourselves to others. Rejection bites! It really does. And sometimes I am the one who feels the need to do the rejecting -- a circumstance that also bites. But don't feel so bad. Someone's rejection can't define our goodness or our love-ability. :) You are still awesome no matter who rejects you. The trick is getting our brains to believe that. :)

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Kiwi:

I'd count myself lucky to have you as a friend. I am not so rich in friends that I can afford to lose one or not make one more friend.

I think your friend on Facebook is being foolish and selfish.

Friendships, almost ANY kind of relationship, is always changing and growing. God is really good about giving us something to take the place of things that are lost.

Tom

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God is really good about giving us something to take the place of things that are lost.

Tom, your brilliant insight reminded me of a quote from Elder Bednar:

"As you give that which you have, there is replacement, with increase."

As one gives up the parts of their lives that are incompatible with the Gospel- be it friends, habits, etc.- God replaces what we give up with something much better.

I'm sorry about your friend, kiwi, but keep your chin up! My experience is that the Lord provides us with the people we need in our lives, when we need them.

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We have a sign on our Mission board in our ward. If you offer light unto others and it costs you a "friend" then they were not much of a friend to begin with.

And as I tell our Missionaries, when they offer to share the message they have created a victory in the eyes of the Lord. Acceptance by the person it is offered too is simply bonus points.

My guess from the way you have it posted is he felt guilt over his choices and pushed his feelings onto you thus his deleting. It is far easier to channel bad feelings onto others then it is to fix what is wrong in our own lives. Never stop being a Light onto the World.

It was most likely the Gospel you represent he was deleting and not the person you are. I have few friends because I use my 3am measure. If a person I know is someone I can call at 3am and they will help if possible that is a true friend. Everyone else is someone I know.

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Trulykiwi,

I am so sorry for the loss of a friendship, more so his friendship with you, for truly he has lost the better friend in you.....Yes, it is hurtful to feel like you are the target for his potshots; however, I wonder why he's doing it? Is it to salve his guilty conscience because you represent the good he's denying right now? Why is he turning away from the good in his life? Why is he strking out at your goodness now?

How sad that he wants to be on the "dark side." I wonder what that means to him and what the ramifications are and will be for his life? I take notice at the statement "what is the point when you're dead anyway?"..... That sounds so hopeless and discouraged to me.........

I like what was said in a prior thread, to pray for him at the very least. You mentioned being offended by his words......I don't know how deragotory he became towards you, or how close you both were to each other before this happened. It sounds to me like a person's well being and happiness is on the line here. Is there a possiblity you could perhaps extend forgiveness and love to find out what's bothering him and causing him to turn as he is? Maybe provide a loving, non-pressurous hand of support for something better than the dark side? Like I said, I don't know how awful he was to you, or even if he was abusive......or, if he was just rude and trying to throw you off.

It sounds like you are grieving over this though. If you can salvage the friendship and offer love and support to him, let the light of Christ so shine to Him in an inspired way, you may prove instrumental in helping him along his journey home.

Just an idea

Dove

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I had a real eye opening spiritual experience when reading "Gospel Scholars Series, Catherine Thomas". She quotes scriptures and brings things to light in a new perspective. SHE TOTALLY explains why some people are interested in, seek out the Gospel and others don't. This book is definately worth the $15. especially for women. She also talks about the guilt, not worthy syndrome most women feel.

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