Testimony


supermax
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I was promised that if I prayed with real intent I would be given a testimony of the LDS Church by the power of the Holy Ghost. After 20 years I have no testimony and I am in turmoil. I am so desperate that I have asked the Lord to take away everything that I have in order to register my intent however there's still no confirmation.

Last week was a turning point. It is the 1st time I've turned down a Church assignment. I can't carry out certain assignments and callings without that sure knowledge. I could go on in blind faith however I would be lying and I'm sure that the Lord would not sanction that.

I've spoken to various Bishops who seem confused. I've sent numerous letters and emails to LDS support groups without receiving a response. I'm getting quite depressed now. What can I do?

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I would ask you to answer these questions to yourself honestly...

Have you saught a testimoney all these 20 years, or just assumed you had one?

Is this the first time your testimony has been so completley challenged?

What do you consider "an answer" to your prayer regarding conformation?

I have never offered or even wanted to do this before for someone, but for you I will make an exception. This Sunday, tomorrow well, actually today I will fast for you to recieve an answer weather or not the Church is true. I will fast and pray that you find the peace you are searching for...and that is searching for you too. I will admonish you to not give up. Its good to question now and then, so I do not fault you for having doubts. I hope I have helped you.

SinnerMan

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I was promised that if I prayed with real intent I would be given a testimony of the LDS Church by the power of the Holy Ghost.

Well, people with incomplete understandings of how it works might have promised you that, but they're missing the rest of the story.

Moroni 10:4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

1- "And when ye shall receive these things" - Before it would work, you have to read the Book of Mormon. But more than read it, to "receive" it. You have to internalize it - deeply reading for meaning, more than just a cursory glance. Not a critical reading, looking for faults.

2- "I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true"

You have to do more than pray, you must pray in the name of Christ. That means, you have to be worthy of his name. The guy who owns The Simsons brand, will let any amount of stupid garbage bear the name - Bart Simpson toothpaste, cheap flimsy Homer travel mugs, stupid T-shirts make out of inferior materials, whatever. But Jesus is more choosy. If you are going to bear his name, you need to be following his teachings.

This is possible to do, without actually believing in him.

3- "and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ,"

Three more requirements - and you have to have all 3 of them. Sincere heart, real intent, faith in Christ.

See, it's really not just as simple as praying with intent.

So, you got prayer, you got intent, how are you doing with the rest of it?

LM

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Let me play a little "what if" game. This is by no means meant to sound judgmental etc. Just a question.

You mentioned turning down a calling. You didn't mention what kind but that is beside the point. Doesn't matter.

What if in answer to your prayer, the Lord inspired your Bishop to call you to this certain calling? Perhaps the Lord felt it was a calling that would help you to develop and grow a testimony. The Lord works in many wonderful and mysterious ways.

Gaining a testimony is a personal thing. For some it happens instantaneously. For others it takes a lifetime. We have to have faith that if we keep plugging along, doing the things we need to do, praying...we in time will get the answers we are searching for.

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In the past, personal immorality has barred me from receiving a testimony of things. In fact, it was part of the reason I didn't receive a testimony until 16. If there's something in your life that goes against the teachings of the Church, that may very easily be barring you from receiving a witness- especially if it's something addictive.

Whether it's that or not, I promise that continuing in the faith leads to eternal rewards. Don't give up- you can do it!

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In my view one can have a light confirmation of something and still struggle with doubts and questions. I know that what i believe in is good and of God. But i do not expect myself to unrealistically expect i will ever have the ideal testimony some falsely teach everyone will have just because they do. The reality is many people never get an ideal testimony and its not less of a blessing to get a less perfect testimony.

Moroni 10 has a wonderful promise, but everybody who applies it will experience it in different ways. I feel good when i read the Book of Mormon because i find its message inspiring. But i only know what i know is true about the things in the book. When i don't yet know something in the book is true it is ok not to expect myself to say i know it. Maybe someday i will know what i do not know, but i enjoy what i know now.

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Thanks for your lovely email. No individual is perfect and that includes me however I have always been the type to be taken advantage of because of my soft nature. I am very sensitive over the fortunes of people that are disadvantaged. I was living the word of wisdom before I even joined the church. I cannot understand why I would be at the depths of depression because of the lack of a witness. I don't just pray, I beg, plead and grovel. I've asked the Lord to take everything I have to give me a testimony. My patriachal blessing lists many things that I can't achieve without knowing or believing that they are from Heavenly Father. I'm considering counselling of my depression as it is all getting too much for me.

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I'm sorry to read about this struggle.

All I can say is what Tom said "The witness comes after the trial of your faith". My advice is just keep plugging along with cheer and faith that the Lord will witness unto you in his own way, and in his own time.

Perhaps if you stop worrying so much about receiving a witness and continue with your normal prayer and scripture study it will come. Don't worry, just have faith it will happen.

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Thanks for your lovely email. No individual is perfect and that includes me however I have always been the type to be taken advantage of because of my soft nature. I am very sensitive over the fortunes of people that are disadvantaged. I was living the word of wisdom before I even joined the church. I cannot understand why I would be at the depths of depression because of the lack of a witness. I don't just pray, I beg, plead and grovel. I've asked the Lord to take everything I have to give me a testimony. My patriachal blessing lists many things that I can't achieve without knowing or believing that they are from Heavenly Father. I'm considering counselling of my depression as it is all getting too much for me.

I think this maybe your key, could you have unresolved anger you are unaware of? I have had for majority of my 16 years as a member a very strong testimony however for a period of a few years I clung on just barely. I didn't realise it I had not forgiven something properly and had an anger I didn't realise. nothing has ever blocked my relationship with God and prayers more.

-Charley

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