'Recovering from Mormonism'


Maxel
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I was perusing a recently posted article when I saw an add for 'recovering Mormons'. It got me thinking- I've seen a lot of online 'recovery' groups from Mormonism, but I've never seen an online community devoted to the 'healthy recovery' from any other philosophy or religion. Having just preformed a perfunctory search for 'ex [enter religion here]', I found nothing that came close to the online communities I can find for 'recovering' Mormons. It got me thinking- why?

I have my own ideas, but I want to hear others' too. This is a question I've pondered before (not because I'm doubting the Church, but because I think it serves as a testimonial to the veracity of the Church's claims).

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Hi Maxel,

I actually found the site for "recovering mormons," and it is very serious in its' allegations~ Not something I would want to spend a long time studying, or in depth. Simply because of the Spirit I feel around it.

I am so glad I am a member, I'm grateful for my testimony, which is profound. What testimony I have is based in the Spirit.....and has been hard won throughout my life.

I feel people lose that connection with the Spirit. The parable of the wheat and the tares comes to mind; also, the different grounds a seed falls on in being fruitful, or not.

I believe, from a spiritual standpoint, remaining true to one's testimony of the gospel is a battle, that's the way life is. (I'm thinking of Moroni and all the battles in the Book of Mormon, and how they apply to this situation.) The adversary is real and fighting for mankind's souls. This is the true gospel, and he knows that. So, this is where he fights for those people the most. This opposition becomes a refiner's fire for those that stay true to their testimony. It becomes a purifier.

Sadly, there are those, many, who don't remain true. They don't remain true to the covenants they have made, or to the whisperings of the Spirit they have experienced. Why? I believe because it is so easy to become dissuaded from this and to become "lost" in the mists of darkness without holding on to the iron rod, or the word of God....Then, it's the churches' fault, rather than their fault, they have fallen....Sad.

As I've said, I am so grateful to still have a testimony of the gospel. Given to me through His grace and love for me. I am so glad to be here. I wouldn't be anywhere else, as hard as it is, it's worth it!

Dove

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because we have the ball thats y.

along with your question u can ask, why is it that only our services (general conference to name one) get picketed. how come when someone does something bad and they r catholic does it not read that on the head lines only if he is lds do they scream his/her religion.

i say again its cuz we have the ball (the truth) in football your not gonna go and chase the person without the ball it would be pointless. satin is the Defence coach all he cares about is stoping the person with the truth so he uses his little players to do just that....i could go on and on with how the gospel is like football but ppl might think im really weird so i'll leave it at that. we have the ball satin doesnt want us to get anywhere with it. end of story

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because we have the ball thats y.

along with your question u can ask, why is it that only our services (general conference to name one) get picketed. how come when someone does something bad and they r catholic does it not read that on the head lines only if he is lds do they scream his/her religion.

i say again its cuz we have the ball (the truth) in football your not gonna go and chase the person without the ball it would be pointless. satin is the Defence coach all he cares about is stoping the person with the truth so he uses his little players to do just that....i could go on and on with how the gospel is like football but ppl might think im really weird so i'll leave it at that. we have the ball satin doesnt want us to get anywhere with it. end of story

This is true to a point: The problem with child abuse in the Catholic church was very widely publicized, for instance, as were the religious aspects in Jonestown and Waco, Texas.

Ultimately, the only thing we can do is lift each other up spiritually. While I kid a lot, this is one thing I won't. We all struggle sometimes and the world seems determined to make that struggle worse. It's our job to love one another enough that when these attacks come, we can lift one another up, to put our arms around their shoulder and say "It's okay."

I would recommend not going to that website. For those who remember last Priesthood's lesson: "The bitter fruits of apostasy", I can say no more about why this sort of thing happens. Sweet made an insightful point: When we're filled with light, something must take that place when we push the light out. Neutral ground can not be attained again. Not really.

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I was perusing a recently posted article when I saw an add for 'recovering Mormons'. It got me thinking- I've seen a lot of online 'recovery' groups from Mormonism, but I've never seen an online community devoted to the 'healthy recovery' from any other philosophy or religion. Having just preformed a perfunctory search for 'ex [enter religion here]', I found nothing that came close to the online communities I can find for 'recovering' Mormons. It got me thinking- why?

I have my own ideas, but I want to hear others' too. This is a question I've pondered before (not because I'm doubting the Church, but because I think it serves as a testimonial to the veracity of the Church's claims).

Hi Maxel, :)

Although I do not have answers ( simply my guesses ) I have found your OP to be very true. I have communicated with several faiths ( Christian and non Christain ) over the past several years via the internet as well as eye to eye. I would add, for what it may be worth, that there is a Catholic site I frequent that is " loaded " with X Mormons who, IMHO, are very bitter in posting against the LDS Church. It seems ( my guess only ) that they are more than simply " no longer a Mormon " but for some reason ( I guess I will never understand it as I have never been Mormon ) spend a TON OF TIME tearing down the LDS Church rather than uplifting all as IMHO Christ taught.

At any rate, just my non LDS 2 cents to add to your ( IMHO VERY TRUE ) OP.:)

Peace,

Ceeboo

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Hi, The Lds are not the only ones with the "recovering" groups. I have run into recovering fundamentalists, and adventists and jehovah witnesses. I'm sure there are recovering community of christ groups. :( Even recovering Christians. Some are justified from their experience, when they are become captive to particularly legalistic church environments.

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Funny, my wife and I were just discussing this last night...

The best answer I was able to think of is that the church is true. It's true, and Satan works so hard against anything good and true, so it makes sense that he would focus a whole lot more effort on the TRUE church than one that just has a little truth... If he can get one faithful member, especially one with a strong influence, to turn away from the church he's going to use that person's talents to the greatest extent that the person will allow him to.

I don't know the reference off hand, but there's a scripture that explains that Satan carefully leads anyone he can get down to Hell. He gets people to believe a lie, then fall away because of it, then perpetuate the lie. It's a lovely strategic effort to destroy the truth and gain as many souls as he can :huh:

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I have read a great deal of Anti-sites and Recovery from Mormonism is just that an anti-site. I wonder how many of the people who post there or write e-mails were actually ever members???? There are a lot of particularly disgusting sites like these around and it seems to me that there is one thing they all seem to have in common, besides throwing the church under the bus.......they don't mention the Holy Spirit. The alleged former members love to bash the church for countless reasons and tell tales of years of deception by the church, but they don't ever mention the Holy Spirit????? Anyone who is a true and faithful Saint knows that it is the witness of the Spirit that converts and keeps members in Christ's fold. That is why I doubt the honesty of many or most of the e-mails and posts from so-called former Mormons.
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I was born into the church, had LDS friends growing up, Eagle Scout at 14, served a mission, married in the Temple, held many callings faithfully, and yet...just last week, I resigned along with my DW and DD. I am not here to defend myself as we left purely for doctrinal reasons. We hold no animosity toward the church as I have learned a great deal from it and much of it's teachings remain a part of my family. However, there are parts that are not and those parts make recovery groups interesting as we discuss our histories. People tend to associate with others like them, and so these groups will form automatically and with the internet, it is easier to connect. Additionally, my family is more happy now and we are finding our place in this world. Except for the Prophet and tithing questions, we would easly be able to obtain a temple recommend so Sunday school lessons that portray that we are "in the dark" and have become slaves and pawns of Satan are merely scare tactics used by the leaders, although they seem to keep most in line. All in all, to answer the question, people need to connect with others who share the same values and have similar experiences.

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I was born into the church, had LDS friends growing up, Eagle Scout at 14, served a mission, married in the Temple, held many callings faithfully, and yet...just last week, I resigned along with my DW and DD. I am not here to defend myself as we left purely for doctrinal reasons. We hold no animosity toward the church as I have learned a great deal from it and much of it's teachings remain a part of my family. However, there are parts that are not and those parts make recovery groups interesting as we discuss our histories. People tend to associate with others like them, and so these groups will form automatically and with the internet, it is easier to connect. Additionally, my family is more happy now and we are finding our place in this world. Except for the Prophet and tithing questions, we would easly be able to obtain a temple recommend so Sunday school lessons that portray that we are "in the dark" and have become slaves and pawns of Satan are merely scare tactics used by the leaders, although they seem to keep most in line. All in all, to answer the question, people need to connect with others who share the same values and have similar experiences.

I am sincerely happy for you and am grateful that you are connecting with likeminded individuals and similarly grateful that you hold no animosity to the church, nor came here to try to convert others to your way of thinking. That's a very rare quality.

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I have read a great deal of Anti-sites and Recovery from Mormonism is just that an anti-site. I wonder how many of the people who post there or write e-mails were actually ever members???? There are a lot of particularly disgusting sites like these around and it seems to me that there is one thing they all seem to have in common, besides throwing the church under the bus.......they don't mention the Holy Spirit. The alleged former members love to bash the church for countless reasons and tell tales of years of deception by the church, but they don't ever mention the Holy Spirit????? Anyone who is a true and faithful Saint knows that it is the witness of the Spirit that converts and keeps members in Christ's fold. That is why I doubt the honesty of many or most of the e-mails and posts from so-called former Mormons.

Yes, there are many Anti-sites out there. There are also sites that may bring question to many aspects of the church. And no, many of these sites are not discussing the holy spirit...why is that? It is because once they realize that the LDS church is not true, they begin to question all the other churches as well. If what you thought was not true and you thought it was the spirit, how do you know that the others are true? Muslims, Christianity, Judiasm, and even Wiccans have received witness from their holy spirit, so which one should be discussed?

Edited by YellowLight
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Yes, there are many Anti-sites out there. There are also sites that may bring question to many aspects of the church. And no, many of these sites are not discussing the holy spirit...why is that? It is because once they realize that the LDS church is not true, they begin to question all the other churches as well. If what you thought was not true and you thought it was the spirit, how do you know that the others are true? Muslims, Christianity, Judiasm, and even Wiccans have received witness from their holy spirit, so which one should be discussed?

Truly grateful.

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Yes, there are many Anti-sites out there. There are also sites that may bring question to many aspects of the church. And no, many of these sites are not discussing the holy spirit...why is that? It is because once they realize that the LDS church is not true, they begin to question all the other churches as well. If what you thought was not true and you thought it was the spirit, how do you know that the others are true? Muslims, Christianity, Judiasm, and even Wiccans have received witness from their holy spirit, so which one should be discussed?

Most of the sites that I have came across that "question" many aspects of the church don't really question....they accuse and present as fact bits and pieces of half truths as evidence that the church is a big lie. The Holy Spirit and references to it are woven through the doctrine and culture of the LDS church, I can't imagine that if someone had truly experienced the divine interaction of the Spirit that they would fail to mention it, at least as a side note. Perhaps, " I don't believe the church is true or JS was a fraud, but I felt something there that was Holy or unexplainable." Are we to believe that all of thee alleged former LDS members never felt that Spirit or have chosen to not mention it except for the occasional mocking reference to a "burning in the bosom"?

Side note: Thanks for sharing your story and I am glad you are here!

Edited by bytor2112
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Most of the sites that I have came across that "question" many aspects of the church don't really question....they accuse and present as fact bits and pieces of half truths as evidence that the church is a big lie. The Holy Spirit and references to it are woven through the doctrine and culture of the LDS church, I can't imagine that if someone had truly experienced the divine interaction of the Spirit that they would fail to mention it, at least as a side note. Perhaps, " I don't believe the church is true or JS was a fraud, but I felt something there that was Holy or unexplainable." Are we to believe that all of thee alleged former LDS members never felt that Spirit or have chosen to not mention it except for the occasional mocking reference to a "burning in the bosom"?

Side note: Thanks for sharing your story and I am glad you are here!

I understand where you are coming from and I think that many ex-members lash out primarily because they feel that have been lied to or duped. For some, they like the personal attacks against the church, others are sincere and are exploring every possible avenue for truth.

As far as the Holy Spirit is concerned, I too have felt those feelings, had intuition that I say I could not have had, and had many special experiences. Do I deny the Holy Spirit...no, primarily because I don't know if it is real or if it is the same as when I watch a good movie or read a good book. I would hope other's don't mock it, but I think they are rationally trying to get their logical mind around it. Hope that makes some sort of sense.

And, for those who wish to know, I have not been to church in well over a year, but things are pretty much the same as when we attended faithfully. There have been the usual ups and downs, but if you came into our home, you might even think we were still LDS. In fact, just as there are groups for ex-LDS members, I think many, like myself still feel a long connection to the LDS world which is why I am here.

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I was perusing a recently posted article when I saw an add for 'recovering Mormons'. It got me thinking- I've seen a lot of online 'recovery' groups from Mormonism, but I've never seen an online community devoted to the 'healthy recovery' from any other philosophy or religion. Having just preformed a perfunctory search for 'ex [enter religion here]', I found nothing that came close to the online communities I can find for 'recovering' Mormons. It got me thinking- why?

I have my own ideas, but I want to hear others' too. This is a question I've pondered before (not because I'm doubting the Church, but because I think it serves as a testimonial to the veracity of the Church's claims).

I think it perhaps has to do with how people see their identity. Example: I see myself as a saved individual, a christian, a child of GOD. I happen to be attending Easton Bible Church in Hainesport, New Jersey. With that said, I don't see either my identity as one with that group, nor do I feel my salvation and whole being as being interwoven with that church. It is just a place to worship and have christian interaction. I could go to to First Baptist of Mount Holly and still not have withdraw symptoms.

My job, my friends, my family, do not hinge on where I happen to worship. Even my walk with GOD is not affected by where I feel lead to attend worship services.

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I think some sites are set up by people who were never really LDS/Mormon and they have an agenda, whether it be hate or political or both I don't know. There are also sites set up by people who really do have hatred for the LDS/Mormon way through bad experiences, and the sites are a kind of catharsis for the individuals/groups concerned.

I was baptised a catholic, and when I was a child I fell victim a couple of times to predatory paedophiles who were priests. It is my opinion that the Catholic church spent many years protecting these scum and many more in their ranks. There have been several major scandals since then but it still goes on. I could have walked the path that led me to shout from the rooftops about my hatred for priests and the church itself, but the fact is that I don't hate all priests and I don't hate the Catholic church. Not every Catholic I ever met was cruel to me and I held on to that. not everyone can.

I'm not saying that the reason some people grew to hate their Mormon faith was due to sexual abuse, there are surely many reasons why people lose faith, I'm just putting forward what happened to me and how I could have taken either path.

I would like to say that I feel I'm a quite tollerent person, and I've forgiven many things and many people (myself included), over the years, but as an adult I did chance to meet one of the priests concerned, and despite how awful this may sound, I'm happy to say that he has been wheelchair bound since that meeting, and because of my actions during that meeting. What I'm trying to say is that my hatred was for that individual and one other only, but some people just seem to have to lay total blame on all they see before them, and that is why they go to such lengths to attack them, not just LDS but all religions.

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Guest Godless

Yes, there are many Anti-sites out there. There are also sites that may bring question to many aspects of the church. And no, many of these sites are not discussing the holy spirit...why is that? It is because once they realize that the LDS church is not true, they begin to question all the other churches as well. If what you thought was not true and you thought it was the spirit, how do you know that the others are true? Muslims, Christianity, Judiasm, and even Wiccans have received witness from their holy spirit, so which one should be discussed?

That's exactly what happened to me when I left the LDS church. All of the other religions seemed just as inadequate, and ultimately I cut out the middle man (religion) and started questioning the existence God himself. I'll freely admit that I never felt the Spirit very strongly in my life as a member, nor did I ever have a very solid testimony. I simply followed along because I was raised to do so.

I used to frequent RfM a lot. There seem to be many people who have genuine struggles in coping with post-LDS life, especially those who live in Utah. Unfortunately, those sites are also swarmed with antis, so the genuine pain and bitterness that some people feel is inevitably going to be fed with hatred and more bitterness rather than peace and closure.

As to the reasons why recovery seems to be such a common trait among apostates, I can think of a few. I think the most important factor is the loss of the Church community. Mormonism really is its own sub-culture to some degree, and it can be a difficult thing to break away from. For instance, I continued to attend Institute long after I lost interest in the Church because I had close friends there that I didn't want to alienate myself from. I was still fairly active on RfM when the fLDS fiasco here in Texas was taking place. People were digging up all kinds of stories of women and children who had escaped these compounds and were struggling to cope with life here in "normal" society. I realize that mainstream Mormonism isn't nearly as extreme as its splinter groups, but the difference in culture and lifestyle still makes for a rough adjustment for apostates.

Other people may have problems coping with the reaction of family members. I'm fortunate that my parents are smart enough to know not to push the issue too much. Other people aren't so lucky. Their spouses/parents/siblings/close friends will relentlessly put pressure on them to try to bring them back into the fold. This is not healthy, and it's very damaging to personal relationships. It's bad enough when you lose your relationship with Christ. Alienation from friends and family members here in the material world is even worse.

Finally, anyone who leaves any religion is going to face some hardships in replacing their worldview. When you reject everything that you were raised to believe as truth, it leaves a void in your knowledge and understanding of things, and that can be devastating for some people. That experience is called transitional agnosticism. It's usually fairly short-lived, but it can be a real nightmare for people like me who come from very religious backgrounds.

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In the grand scheme of things I believe that being anti to anything is a waste of time. Those that have something to stand for and be an example are the only worthwhile friends and neighbors.

Even if something is absolutely horrible I believe it is a waste of time to make such a thing a major focus. I have found the joy of life is enjoying and being a part of joyful things. Even in mathematics I have never been impressed in those that can find errors in other people’s stuff. I do not want to know how not to do anything. I am looking for solutions and how to stuff.

The Traveler

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In the grand scheme of things I believe that being anti to anything is a waste of time. Those that have something to stand for and be an example are the only worthwhile friends and neighbors.

I can't understand why someone would rather be "not something" than be something. You said it much more eloquently, though. :)

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  • 4 years later...

Hi all, an intersting topic. I have some observtions on the site that Maxel introduces.

The supposed reason for the " Recovering from Mormonism" site is to provide mutual support to others who have left the Church. The name is therefore a bit over the top for that aim. Also, if that was their real aim and they actually stood by it I would say hey that is fine I can understand people wanting to support each other. However, the old adage of "leave it and leave it alone" applies only too well here.

The state reason is a blantant lie as, their purpose, as evidenced by the very nasty anit -mormon nature of their postings is only too obvious. This is a very distructive site that peddles rehashed anit-mormon literature as truth using the same old dated attacks on either:

  • The character of the prophet Joseph
  • The Book of Mormon
  • the doctrines of the Church - tithing etc
It is very hard to rebuff a statement saying that your great great great grand father was a thief. Anyone can make that statement and does not need to support it with any evidnce if the are of a malicious nature. It seems that just making such statements as in the case of many of the lies published about the prophet Joseph somehow makes it true in the eyes of this type of anit-momon group.

I posted a couple of rebutals to some of their postings because they were just plain dumb and it did not go down well - I was immediately attacked on a personel level with very few if any reasoned agruements being presented. I am now banned from posting!

So I agree with others leave this stie well alone it is very destructive, unfair in its practices and tries to destroy the Church and its members.

Love from Fred

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