pam Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 THE MISSION PRESIDENT: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than a locomotive, Is faster than a speeding bullet, Walks on water, Associates with God. THE ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than a switch engine, Is just as fast as a speeding bullet, Walks on water if the sea is calm, Talks with God. THE ZONE LEADER: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, Is almost as powerful as a switch engine, Is faster than a decelerating bullet, Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool, Talks with God if special request is approved. THE DISTRICT LEADER: Barely clears a mud hut, Loses tug-of-war with locomotives, Can fire a speeding bullet, Swims well, Is occasionally addressed by God. THE SENIOR COMPANION: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap tall buildings, Is run over by locomotives, Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, Dog paddles, Talks to animals. THE JUNIOR COMPANION: Runs into buildings, Recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times, Is not issued ammunition, Can stay afloat with a life jacket, Talks to walls. THE GREENIE: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says, "Look at the choo-choo!" Wets himself with a water pistol, Plays in mud puddles, Mumbles to himself. THE SISTER MISSIONARIES: Lifts buildings and walks under them, Kicks locomotives off the tracks, Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them, Freezes water in a single glance, Knows God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 You've got it wrong. The last section is Returned Missionaries, except instead of "knows" God, it's "thinks he is God." At least, that's the way I've always read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 It was a sister missionary that sent it to me. So she was biased at the end. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 I'll have to look through my files...we have a different set at the end for sisters. I'll have to see if I can find it. Great new forum, by the way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted February 28, 2009 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 Hey this is my joke..you go get your own joke. hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted February 28, 2009 Report Share Posted February 28, 2009 Fine, I will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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