Fellowshiping

[StrawberryFields]

I have noticed (from other threads on this board) that fellowshipping is a place for concern.

Is this just a problem in the LDS Church?

What are some things that you think would make things better?

[Amillia]

Are you asking what would make it better in the church ~ or just in churches ingeneral?

In the church, I think clicks rule. Also, those who feel elete because of their geneology and leadership status.

If they could adopt a more humble and inclusively loving attitudes towards all no matter who they were or what they did in the church it would vastly improve the church in the fellowshipping arena.

I have thought that the Catholic and protestant churches were quite smart in having only one clergy who was paid and therefore eliminating the competitive admosphere, the kissing up activity which creates a subculture of corruptness.

Everyone striving to please Christ instead of the Bishop and Stake Pres. would be refreshing. :)

[Guest curvette]

I think it varies from ward to ward. I think "greeters" are a good idea. I was in ward where a Senior couple actually were called as the greeters. This way they could keep track of new faces, who was new vs. visitors, welcome and introduce them to someone when they came in.

[Lindy]

Originally posted by Strawberry Fields@Feb 16 2005, 11:48 AM

I have noticed (from other threads on this board) that fellowshipping is a place for concern.

Is this just a problem in the LDS Church?

What are some things that you think would make things better?

Do you have a few hours? Hot touchy subject for me. I have seen (or heard) people leaving the church because of no fellowshipping when they needed it the most. I don't remember much about the other churchs I went to...about members being put in charge of fellowshipping others...they just did it. People helping people when they saw the need. I see in the (some) LDS wards that church fellowshipping is taking a back seat to "what can be done for our community...or elsewhere in the world" Those within tend to get lost in the urgency of the outside world. It could be just this area, and then it could be that those that I see leaving most are the single parents, or a wife who husband is inactive and there was no show of support from the church members. I know that the LDS church is very family orientated, and here if you don't have a "normal" familylife....well it's hard to be included in the lives of other ward families. But I read a lot of families in different areas who don't have a problem with the single parent families.....and even those families flourshing within their wards. So I really think it's the area one lives in.

[Ray]

I think it would help if we defined what fellowshipping really means.

Personally, I don’t believe in going out of my way to “make friends”, and I believe trying to “make friends” is the wrong approach.

I simply try to be nice to everybody I see and talk with, and by talking with someone I mean just saying “Hi”. If someone I talk with then wants to talk some more, I’ll then listen and pay attention to what they’re saying, offering any comments I feel like sharing with them. It’s not hard, but it is strange that so few people even say “Hi”.

Simply noticing others and smiling at them goes a long way too, or at least it seems to work for me. I smile and notice someone, and they will usually smile and notice me. That’s really all the fellowshipping I need, outside of the relationships I have with family.

Btw, Hi. :)

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by Amillia@Feb 16 2005, 12:53 PM

Are you asking what would make it better in the church ~ or just in churches ingeneral?

In the church, I think clicks rule. Also, those who feel elete because of their geneology and leadership status.

If they could adopt a more humble and inclusively loving attitudes towards all no matter who they were or what they did in the church it would vastly improve the church in the fellowshipping arena.

I have thought that the Catholic and protestant churches were quite smart in having only one clergy who was paid and therefore eliminating the competitive admosphere, the kissing up activity which creates a subculture of corruptness.

Everyone striving to please Christ instead of the Bishop and Stake Pres. would be refreshing. :)

Very interesting.

I guess what I mean is any organization, but mostly churches.

Then genealogy elete crowd has not been a problem in my wards, of course I descend from Pocahontas via John Smith. B) I have however, noticed the leadership stuff being a problem and the kissing up. eeek!

Hey, I also think that those churches who hire their clergy have something with the example you gave.

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by curvette@Feb 16 2005, 01:53 PM

I think it varies from ward to ward. I think "greeters" are a good idea. I was in ward where a Senior couple actually were called as the greeters. This way they could keep track of new faces, who was new vs. visitors, welcome and introduce them to someone when they came in.

Good thought with the greeters. I have done that a time or two and it has been fun. At least it has helped to curtail people asking me if I am new.

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by lindy9556@Feb 16 2005, 02:23 PM

I have seen (or heard) people leaving the church because of no fellowhipping when they needed it the most.

Lindy!

Maybe they do fello whipping in Washington, but not here! I couldn't resist... I also misspelled words like in the post title.

I know that this is a sore spot for you but if you were in my ward you wouldn't have to worry about it. :) I have another friend who is a single mother and she also struggles to fit in. We were talking the other day and decided that it would be good in the case of single women in the church to have older couples be their home teachers. I think fellowshipping comes from extending yourself in service to another. It is truly a loss to the wards you are in that you are not pulled into the nucleus of the wards.

[Amillia]

Thought this would go over well on this thread:

The Squirrels

=============

Three churches in town were overrun with squirrels.

After much prayer, the elders of the first church determined

that the animals were predestined to be there. Who were they to

interfere with God's will?

They did nothing, and the squirrels multiplied.

The elders of the second church, deciding that they could not

harm any of God's creatures, humanely trapped the squirrels and

then set them free outside of town.

Three days later the squirrels were back.

It was only the third church that succeeded in keeping the

squirrels away. The elders of this church simply baptized the

squirrels and registered them as members of the church.

Now, they only see the squirrels on Christmas and Easter.

[pushka]

LOL good joke Amillia!

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by Ray@Feb 16 2005, 07:02 PM

I think it would help if we defined what fellowshipping really means.

Personally, I donÃÕ believe in going out of my way to ÅÎake friends¡¦ and I believe trying to ÅÎake friends¡¦is the wrong approach.

I simply try to be nice to everybody I see and talk with, and by talking with someone I mean just saying Å©i¡¦ If someone I talk with then wants to talk some more, IÃÍl then listen and pay attention to what theyÃÓe saying, offering any comments I feel like sharing with them. ItÃÔ not hard, but it is strange that so few people even say Å©i¡¦

Simply noticing others and smiling at them goes a long way too, or at least it seems to work for me. I smile and notice someone, and they will usually smile and notice me. ThatÃÔ really all the fellowshipping I need, outside of the relationships I have with family.

Btw, Hi. :)

Hi Ray!

Glad you're back! You were Missed!

[Ray]

Originally posted by Strawberry Fields+Feb 17 2005, 06:13 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Strawberry Fields @ Feb 17 2005, 06:13 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Ray@Feb 16 2005, 07:02 PM

I think it would help if we defined what fellowshipping really means.

Personally, I donÃÕ believe in going out of my way to ÅÎake friends¡¦ and I believe trying to ÅÎake friends¡¦is the wrong approach.

I simply try to be nice to everybody I see and talk with, and by talking with someone I mean just saying Å©i¡¦  If someone I talk with then wants to talk some more, IÃÍl then listen and pay attention to what theyÃÓe saying, offering any comments I feel like sharing with them.  ItÃÔ not hard, but it is strange that so few people even say Å©i¡¦

Simply noticing others and smiling at them goes a long way too, or at least it seems to work for me.  I smile and notice someone, and they will usually smile and notice me.  ThatÃÔ really all the fellowshipping I need, outside of the relationships I have with family.

Btw, Hi.  :)

Hi Ray!

Glad you're back! You were Missed!

Thanks, and even though I won't be on this board again for a while, don't go thinking that I'm ignoring you. I'm just trying to keep myself for getting addicted to this thing again. I figured out that I probably have OCD too. :)

[Winnie G]

That’s funny kissing up activity.

My uncle was a Episcopalian Minster for most of his adult life.

Kissing up activity is every were no matter what church. Ask any convert.

What’s kissing up have to do with friend shipping?

Friend shipping is the term used when investigators and new converts are making their way in to the church. Members are asked to share a hand in friendship.

I have only been in one ward were the only click was very small (few) and they were very lonely.

The rest of the ward was like family that was in Eastern Canada.

I am the type of person who loves new people, I always invite them to sit with us or invite them to dinner or some other activity double date night to the movies ect….

[StrawberryFields]

Originally posted by Ray+Feb 17 2005, 10:45 AM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Ray @ Feb 17 2005, 10:45 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

Originally posted by -Strawberry Fields@Feb 17 2005, 06:13 AM

<!--QuoteBegin--Ray@Feb 16 2005, 07:02 PM

I think it would help if we defined what fellowshipping really means.

Personally, I donÃÕ believe in going out of my way to ÅÎake friends¡¦ and I believe trying to ÅÎake friends¡¦is the wrong approach.

I simply try to be nice to everybody I see and talk with, and by talking with someone I mean just saying Å©i¡¦ If someone I talk with then wants to talk some more, IÃÍl then listen and pay attention to what theyÃÓe saying, offering any comments I feel like sharing with them. ItÃÔ not hard, but it is strange that so few people even say Å©i¡¦

Simply noticing others and smiling at them goes a long way too, or at least it seems to work for me. I smile and notice someone, and they will usually smile and notice me. ThatÃÔ really all the fellowshipping I need, outside of the relationships I have with family.

Btw, Hi. :)

Hi Ray!

Glad you're back! You were Missed!

Thanks, and even though I won't be on this board again for a while, don't go thinking that I'm ignoring you. I'm just trying to keep myself for getting addicted to this thing again. I figured out that I probably have OCD too. :)

I understand.

I have a bit of an addictive personality myself.

[pushka]

Me too..and the year 2005 seems to be my religious OCD phase!!!

[Amillia]

Originally posted by Winnie G@Feb 17 2005, 10:46 AM

That’s funny kissing up activity.

My uncle was a Episcopalian Minster for most of his adult life.

Kissing up activity is every were no matter what church. Ask any convert.

What’s kissing up have to do with friend shipping?

Friend shipping is the term used when investigators and new converts are making their way in to the church. Members are asked to share a hand in friendship.

I have only been in one ward were the only click was very small (few) and they were very lonely.

The rest of the ward was like family that was in Eastern Canada.

I am the type of person who loves new people, I always invite them to sit with us or invite them to dinner or some other activity double date night to the movies ect….

You are a rare gem Winnie. Wish there were more of you. :)

[Lindy]

Thanks for the heads up SF.....I fixed my goof....

Thanks for the laugh Winnie

and HI to Ray

[rlbybee]

I just want to mention that I've gone through some real lonely times in my ward and have had a tough time relating and feeling like I belong, too. I've put forth efforts. I'm not the most outgoing, but I am friendly and willing to talk to people. I make concerted efforts to say hello to them in the hallway and ask them how they are, etc., even if they don't see me. I initiate the hellos many times. However, my experience is they don't initiate as much with me; in fact, I find they just don't seem to care, that they are indifferent. With me, it's not so much that I be friends with everyone I meet in the ward. Just a hello is all I need and a feeling of acceptance from other members. A hello goes a long way with me. It seems people in my ward are so indifferent and hard to reach that way. I don't get it. I don't get the attitude of not being aware of other people around you in your ward. Just a smile for someone and saying hi goes a long ways to reduce this feeling of loneliness in the ward. Above all, we must never give up on the Gospel, though. It is SO TRUE. It's just the ward members don't always walk the walk like they should all the times, and it's very, very sad and hard on a lot of shyer, backward, and weaker members. Just my opinion.

[pam]

Rlbybee thanks for your comments. However, since this thread is 8 years old, I'm going to close it since those that had participated don't participate on the site any longer.