Homosexuality

[Madriglace]

The youth of the church need more teachers who care and who are willing to listen outside their calling. One warning ... this is a very thin line for you the teacher ... love her, listen to her and support her but if the discussion shifts to where her thoughts are becoming actions you have no choice but to take this to your bishop ... this is part of your calling. With luck you have a bishop as wonderful as ours ... one that would talk with her and listen now as opposed to when it changes. My prayers go out to you and your Mia Maid. I teach this age in SS and I just love those kids so much ... it hurts my heart to see them suffer as they work through life ... but you know these kids are strong and they really truly know who they are and what they need to be doing and with leaders like you they have just that much more advantage.

[InnerGold]

Or maybe she had a very good childhood, but is gay.

Possible, but in my experience, 9 out of 10 have had something happen to them when they were a young child. They may have been abused, or had a conflict with a boy friend which creates a lack of trust for men or they have been involved with pornography or chat rooms. Therefore, they find validation and love from those who have not hurt them.

Do you really repeat this hogwash to people who are questioning their sexual orientation? It is obtuse and ignorant. It is also not true, and potentially dangerous to their self-esteem.

This is not hogwash. If this was, it would not be working with positive results. Much like the gospel, if it was not true it would not be growing and helping people.

I have nothing against counseling, but if her parents are as closed off about her potentially being gay, I doubt they are going to allow her to go to any counseling unless it supports their position. That has the potential to cause her more harm in the long run, if she is indeed gay.

She is at an age where there are many counselors she could go to. Be it, some good some not so good. She needs to gain an understanding of what is going on in her brain.

Her trigger is she's 16-years-old.

This is exactly what we are fighting on a regular basis with the world. Because of things being over sexualized, people are thinking it is a persons choice. Yes, it is their choice because our free agency is still intact but the worldly thinking is wrong!

Not every person needs their layers peeled away to discover some dark secret that caused his/her their sexual orientation. If it were true, we should be peeling away those layers.

Everyone needs their layers peeled away. It does not always have to be sexual. It could be because of a distrusting experience of the opposite sex, as mentioned above. Just think about things that make you upset, why do they upset you? It is your choice to allow them to upset you, so why are you choosing to be upset? If a person starts peeling the layers they are frequently surprised at what experience it was that is causing them to feel this way.

Back to the original question. Suggestions for your friend. Love her, listen to her, encourage her but ultimately it is her choice because none of our free agency is removed. Like I said before, allow her to talk, you might be surprised at what comes up and she may too. I have seen it many times the surprise and the healing as they start to just vent.

Keep a positive attitude and continually reassure she is loved by Heavenly Father. It is important for her to realize this because this is the love that is long lasting.

[Elphaba]

Possible, but in my experience, 9 out of 10 have had something happen to them when they were a young child. They may have been abused, or had a conflict with a boy friend which creates a lack of trust for men or they have been involved with pornography or chat rooms. Therefore, they find validation and love from those who have not hurt them.

Then they weren't really gay.

She is at an age where there are many counselors she could go to. Be it, some good some not so good. She needs to gain an understanding of what is going on in her brain.

I don't disagree with your suggestion of a counselor. I just meant her parents aren't likely to agree to it unless the counselor wants to convince her she's not gay. If she is gay, that will only do harm.

This is exactly what we are fighting on a regular basis with the world. Because of things being over sexualized, people are thinking it is a persons choice. Yes, it is their choice because our free agency is still intact but the worldly thinking is wrong!

Being gay is not a choice. If someone makes that choice, then s/he is bisexual, or not really gay.

Everyone needs their layers peeled away. It does not always have to be sexual. It could be because of a distrusting experience of the opposite sex, as mentioned above. Just think about things that make you upset, why do they upset you? It is your choice to allow them to upset you, so why are you choosing to be upset? If a person starts peeling the layers they are frequently surprised at what experience it was that is causing them to feel this way.

I have no problem with that in general. But if you're peeling away the layers to prove to a person s/he isn't gay, then no, I completely disagree with that. As I said before, it would cause more harm.

Again, Church officials admit some people are born gay. Since the gay population is only about two percent of the entire population, applied to the Church's membership, that would constitute "some."

If the Church admits this, why can't you?

Elphaba

[Heavenguard]

Just to share with everyone: NewDirection.ca - Home

New Direction is a Christian ministry that is geared for people with questions and problems with (surrounding) their sexual identity. A speaker, Brian, (himself gay) came to my workplace (a college) to give a talk, and I thought he was just absolutely wonderful. I'd suggest looking into resources they may have, or even to ask them questions for help on how to handle situations and the like.