Porn too close to home


InnerGold
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Sounds like you have more information on just what the word was, 'cuz I just scanned the article and don't see it mentioned. Are we talking a direct word (aka 'porn' or some such) or something with multiple meanings (kitty cat, rooster...)?

Very good point. Also bear in mind that some words need to be unblocked because they actually have an educational use, depending on exactly what is being taught in that school. They need to keep a balance between what is blocking material which is bad and what is stopping people getting onto legitimate sites and therefore stifling their education? Besides, filters will probably never be 100% reliable, to blame the school because the filter didn't pick up on it is wrong. The filters are there to prevent accidental viewing of such material, not to prevent them purposely trying to find it. The kid is of an accountable age. He knew what he was doing was wrong if he purposely tried to find dodgy material. He is to blame, not the school.

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Every time you take your kids to a reasonably populated beach, you'll see women naked from the waist up (and not much covering below either) playing volleyball and pretty much everything else you can do on a beach. You'll never stop them seeing this stuff in their youth and quite frankly I'm not entirely sure it's a good thing to be so preventative - if you do this they may become curious and purposely start looking for it. This is how a lot of fetishes start, as Fiannan pointed out. By all means block the extremely sexually explicit sites, but trying to prevent them from seeing anything that can be considered immoral can probably do more damage then good. Of course they mustn't look for the stuff on purpose, but don't make too big a deal out of the stuff they can reasonably be expected to see in real life during their youth. Just because it happens to be on the internet, it does not make it any worse.

lol i grew up in panama city, fl. i think i know what takes place on a beach. i'm in the us so my kids don't go to topless beaches. and anyone that's been on a real populated beach knows that the women look nothing like what they show on tv beaches. i never said i shielded my kids from life or reality. i just see a very real difference between sexual nudity and the body. i think it's foolishness to try to compare the two as though it's the same thing. fetishes and a distorted view of sexuality can come from seeing to much or sexualy explicit stuff as easily as if not more easily than being sheltered from it. i think i'm doing pretty good with my kids.

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The word was specific and should have been in the filter. I can see 5th grade boys hearing this word (especially in light of all the media publicity on the same sex marriage issue) and being curious about what it meant. That is not a felony offense. That is a child being curious. What it is not is a deliberate sexual offense. We all know children do not always go ask Mom and Dad when they have questions. Now they have somewhat unsupervised access to the internet IN SCHOOL to get answers online.

How this should have been handled is the parents should have been called in FIRST. Not after the police were called! The situation should have been discussed, the boys probably suspended. Then let the parents teach these boys at home. These two boys had NEVER been in trouble before. A felony is out of line! Any charges against these boys is being heavy handed and cruel....at their age.

We've become a scarey society. I'm glad my children are grown. I worry for my future grandchildren. It is horrifically sad when children are actually sexually abused. When they are heavily punished for something they didn't understand, that's horrific abuse too.

applepansy

P.S. I'm sorry... I'm obviously angry over the events surrounding these young boys. I have tried to keep most of the anger out of my words. If I've been unsuccessful...I apologize!

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I have 2 boys and how I deal with the porn is that already when they were small like under 10 I started to explain them about sex and especially the beauty and privacy of it. I tok the attitude that I can not protect them against everything, but I know how to teach them to avoid and get out of situations.

My oldest the one who is going on the mission now. He got some bad pictures on his computer that just started to put a picture on a picture and there was nothing on could do. He was around 10-12 then. He kne wwhat to do ... he run to me and I went and closed the comp. When dad came home he did the rest and deleted the pics and tok a scan on the computer. Those pictures came when my son just clicked on a netside that had othing to do with sex. So they both learned what to do... pull out the plug and go for adults. He tells me how in school if the certain boys were in the computer room he would not go there as he knew what they were doing.

My younger here says that 90% of youth here look at those sites. He is not looking. Once he had a problem with some popups but luckily we had a visit by a dataexpert misionary who fixed the problem.:huh:

So I teach them not to, what they do is up to them. I can not shelter them against world always, they need to grow a backbone themselves! Sometimes it really hurts, but one has to let go of the loved ones, they have their own free will.

All kids in highschool here get a computer and use frequently internett, so not much we can do if we have not vaxinated them from before! I know they are looking a lot of R-rated films, but not sex films.

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I forgot ... this news was in the finnish news too and the thing they were writting was that so young boys risk prison for showing the sexsites to otehr kids... so sex sites was no news but the possible prison was!

Anyone know what happened?

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I had another thought.

Porn so close to home is not new. My oldest would be 31 this year. When he was 10 he had a non-lds friend. I went to school with the child's mom and was't too concerned about his playing there until I discovered they had found the father's porn magazines. I explained to the mom why my child wouldn't be playing at their house. I made sure she knew her son was always welcome to play with my child outside or at my house where porn was not allowed. Then I sat my two oldest boys (7 and 10 at the time) down and explained what porn was, why it was wrong, and what they should do.

The difference today is that its just more available. Our prophet and the GAs have warned us to talk to our children. Explaining the dangers in the world to an 8 yo is essential....they aren't too young. We live in a dangerous world and we need to prepare our children. We tell them what to do if they find a gun or knife, why aren't we telling them what to do when they find porn?

applepansy

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Ok, as usual, I have found out that the media is completely wrong and blowing this way out of proportion. Yes it happened. Yes they will be punished. Yes what they did was wrong.

Got that off my chest.

Unfortunately, I can not discuss it, yet, due to confidentiality purposes and a current ongoing investigation.

Here is what I can tell you. There are some serious problems with teens in schools. Not just Forbes but all schools. Because of the recent happenings, a very good principal is taking this seriously and is having all the servers searched. They are discovering more than they ever thought.

The school is implementing some immediate steps to remedy this issue and, as usual, the media does not have the full story. I will discuss more when I can.

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Ok, as usual, I have found out that the media is completely wrong and blowing this way out of proportion. Yes it happened. Yes they will be punished. Yes what they did was wrong.

Got that off my chest.

Unfortunately, I can not discuss it, yet, due to confidentiality purposes and a current ongoing investigation.

Here is what I can tell you. There are some serious problems with teens in schools. Not just Forbes but all schools. Because of the recent happenings, a very good principal is taking this seriously and is having all the servers searched. They are discovering more than they ever thought.

The school is implementing some immediate steps to remedy this issue and, as usual, the media does not have the full story. I will discuss more when I can.

What I heard was from the mother of one of the boys. I would appreciate hearing from the school and the police.

applepansy

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:D ME TOO!!! I was hoping to find A city of Enoch type place!

Sandy City has a new soccer stadium and there is a lot of hot air from city hall. Draper has a new Temple surounded by million dollar houses. Hurricane and LaVerkin have both outlawed the United Nations. Take your pick.

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Sandy City has a new soccer stadium and there is a lot of hot air from city hall. Draper has a new Temple surounded by million dollar houses. Hurricane and LaVerkin have both outlawed the United Nations. Take your pick.

ROFL

I think I will stay in Liberty. Its next door to Eden and over the hill from Paradise.

applepansy

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I'm going to add my 2 cents based on experience. I'm not going to tell the story because it is very personal.

I will tell you, based on my own experience, that it is better for the kids to get exposed to "life" with you, rather than having them sheltered and then have them experience it with "friends" that may not share your values. Of course, I don't mean to say for you to go get a porn video and watch it together with your kids. I'm saying to be there with your kids for every experience and make them understand that any subject is open for honest discussion without them fearing your censure.

I have proven this with a multitude of experiences that children who are overly "sheltered" end up either rebelling when they are teens, or getting confused when they branch out on their own and find themselves unable to handle the "world out there". There used to be a very high rate of suicide for Filipino teen-age girls in California. The parents are immigrants from the Philippines where it was very conservative - for example, Divorce is illegal, you can get ostracized for having a boyfriend/girlfriend before high school graduation, you can go to a 2-hour movie shortened to an hour and 15 minutes after all the "bad stuff" are cut out including kissing scenes lasting longer than a peck. A lot of Filipino families treat anything sexual and their accompanying bodyparts as taboo and not open for any discussion. A lot of Filipinos view sex as "dirty". These families move to California and with all the loose moral standards there, tend to get overly strict with their teen-age girls, and still keep the taboo standard where it is not open for discussion.

A lot of religious people grow up thinking sex is "dirty" and end up having troubled marriages.

Anyway, I really can't explain this. I'm trying to express myself yet when I re-read what I wrote, it just doesn't explain what I'm trying to say...

Anyway, my goal in bringing up my children is for them to know what's out there and be able to choose for themselves the right thing to do. My kids are 5 and 7. My hopes are when they get to be teen-agers and go out to their friends' house or the library, or the superbowl or whatever and they get exposed to the bad stuff (and I'm not only talking pornography - I'm talking about anything - like drugs, alcohol, etc. etc.), they would be ready and know to choose the right path. If they do stray, then, they acted on their agency, complete with the knowledge of the sin they are committing, and all I can do is pray and hope they find their way back and soon.

What really gets me is when my mother AND my mother-in-law would go psycho if they see my kids watching somebody kiss while half-naked on TV, yet have no problem if they see my kids watching Anakin Skywalker chop up some Jedi. I would rather my kids see somebody kissing than somebody killing somebody else. I can explain kissing as 2 people who really love each other. I can't explain killing...

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What really gets me is when my mother AND my mother-in-law would go psycho if they see my kids watching somebody kiss while half-naked on TV, yet have no problem if they see my kids watching Anakin Skywalker chop up some Jedi. I would rather my kids see somebody kissing than somebody killing somebody else. I can explain kissing as 2 people who really love each other. I can't explain killing...

I think the thing with that is a sex drive is normal and healthy, a murder drive no so much. So people are worried that kids watching sexy stuff with start thinking about doing sexy stuff, less worried with kids watching Skywalker cut somebody in half thinking about killing people. At least back in the day when I watched both lots of sex and violence, the former got my libido going the latter did not make me want to go out and kill.

That having been said, neither sex nor gratuitous violence (however you may want to define that) is particularly conducive to the spirit, foul language either for that matter.

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Anatess, I agree with you to appoint and that point is have your children experience life in your home so you can control it and help explain it. I grew up in a home that my mother said, "If you want to try alcohol, let me know. I will purchase it and you can try it right here in our house so I can know you are safe." A very wise mother. There were some of us that tried it and others that had nothing to do with it.

I would be leery of allowing children to become over sexualized, watching things that promote the wrong sexuality because that can cause a child, who is still does not have complete reasoning, to get confused early in life.

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Anatess, I agree with you to appoint and that point is have your children experience life in your home so you can control it and help explain it. I grew up in a home that my mother said, "If you want to try alcohol, let me know. I will purchase it and you can try it right here in our house so I can know you are safe." A very wise mother. There were some of us that tried it and others that had nothing to do with it.

I would be leery of allowing children to become over sexualized, watching things that promote the wrong sexuality because that can cause a child, who is still does not have complete reasoning, to get confused early in life.

I agree with you InnerGold. My dad works for a beer company. My family is not LDS. Ever since I was born, there is not a day when there is no beer in the fridge. It's always there. What is ironic is none of us drink! My dad offers the beer to guests. None of us like the smell and taste of it... I mean, I open the fridge and there's beer and then right next to it is ice-cold water. I'd rather have water! Same with alcoholic drinks - my dad collects alcohol bottles. So, there's that huge cabinet of all kinds of alcoholic drinks in all different kinds of unique-looking bottles. It's been there for over 30 years, untouched. It's probably vinegar by now.

About wrong sexuality - hah! We visited my husband's best friend of over 12 years last weekend. Surprise, surprise... HE has a BOYfriend! That was major weird. He just all of a sudden started singing a different tune! My kids have already had the homosexuality talk since it was a big thing in Florida last election with the same-sex marriage on the ballot. Good thing we already talked about it - they took our friend's boyfriend in stride. We were crossing the street and I told my son to hold our friend's hand and he told my friend straight up - I'm just going to hold my mom's hand just so you know that I'm not gay...

We had another talk on the way home and they're good. I explained it like smoking - sometimes you see someone smoking - we know it's wrong, but we don't worry about it because it is his own choice. We just continue to pray for them to find the right path. He's still my husband's best friend...

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Anatess, Darvin said almost what I tought to say. I used to look a lot of "viloent" films when young they never did anything to me. I stil enjoy flilms with some violence in like "mortal combat", Segalls movies (not the latest they are getting a bit too violent).

In fact I have felt my anger getting less after seeing a good gunfufight. However there are films that I do wish my sons dont watch... something like "the motorsaw murder" "clockwork orange".... which have violence just for violence. I dont like the films, where the action is with slow motion... those make me sick. But Jacky Chanes films and such are fine. They usually have a rigious aim.

Many films come from the belief that one has the right to protect oneself or his home or country. The films are often just stories about how to protect those things. For people who are in a situation of danger the actions in film become exemples of what to do. Danger lies only in there, that if a person mixes reality with the films world. I heard of people using the ideas from films, in real life critical situations, to survive and they have survived.

Kissing in films make me feel uncomfortable... it is private and I always turn my head (eyes anyway) when that happens....

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Anatess, Darvin said almost what I tought to say. I used to look a lot of "viloent" films when young they never did anything to me. I stil enjoy flilms with some violence in like "mortal combat", Segalls movies (not the latest they are getting a bit too violent).

In fact I have felt my anger getting less after seeing a good gunfufight. However there are films that I do wish my sons dont watch... something like "the motorsaw murder" "clockwork orange".... which have violence just for violence. I dont like the films, where the action is with slow motion... those make me sick. But Jacky Chanes films and such are fine. They usually have a rigious aim.

Many films come from the belief that one has the right to protect oneself or his home or country. The films are often just stories about how to protect those things. For people who are in a situation of danger the actions in film become exemples of what to do. Danger lies only in there, that if a person mixes reality with the films world. I heard of people using the ideas from films, in real life critical situations, to survive and they have survived.

Kissing in films make me feel uncomfortable... it is private and I always turn my head (eyes anyway) when that happens....

I see what you're saying. I used to watch all of Bruce Lee's films when I was little but now I can't stomach them anymore. Jackie Chan is different though - most of his films (there are a few that are gory) are all just fun martial arts where nobody gets bloody and they don't really show somebody dead - mostly just lying still passed out (at least that's what I tell my kids).

In my house though, sex and violence are treated the same - in moderation with complete explanation for the kids. We're not uncomfortable with kissing as long as it is relevant to the story and not just there to earn sexy points. My kids haven't seen Charlie's Angels even if there are no overt kissing or nakedness because of the sexual inuendos of the "moves"... we don't consider that relevant. We saw Transformers at the movies and Megan Fox had a close-up on her bare midrib - obviously a sexy ploy. And then they drop the m-bomb. My 7-year-old asked out loud inside the quiet theater (I was seated 2 chairs away from him)- Hey Mom! What does m- mean? I about died. So, yeah, another round of explanations for that one... Sometimes, I give the "cop-out" answer of, "That, my boy, is something for us adults to know and for you kids not to have to worry about". Which, my sons know, not to pester me for an answer - like, "Why can't we watch Charlie's Angels?"...

Meh... it's really up to your relationship with your kids. You can kinda gauge how their brain is processing all these experiences. But then, my kids are only 5 and 7, so what do I know?

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The movies are one thing. What drives me crazy is the Victoria Secret advertisements on TV! We have a rule that if ladies or men's undies so up on the screen, we immediately change channels. That's also true for some of the other program....we just watch Streisand in concert. Here she is in a slinky black dress with her "girls" showing huge clevage.

I'm as red blooded as any other guy....but, that kind of thing just drives the spirit away. And it does make us change the channel or turn it off, even if we really want to watch the show.

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Educate them. But please.. don't make them ashamed to look at members of the opposite sex. There's nothing wrong with that. Young boys should be worrying about messing up their first kiss.. not that God is going to be angry with them for staring at a girl.

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For people using Microsoft Windows to browse the Internet I would advise using key logger hardware if you want to keep information on what is being looked at on your computer from the Internet. It records every key stroke made on a keyboard and one can browse thru what someone is typing.

KeyLlama 4MB PS/2 KeyLogger For Sale

KeyLlama 4MB USB Hardware Keylogger NEWLY UPGRADED! For Sale

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For people using Microsoft Windows to browse the Internet I would advise using key logger hardware if you want to keep information on what is being looked at on your computer from the Internet. It records every key stroke made on a keyboard and one can browse thru what someone is typing.

KeyLlama 4MB PS/2 KeyLogger For Sale

KeyLlama 4MB USB Hardware Keylogger NEWLY UPGRADED! For Sale

Careful there... Big brother is not a good way to foster a trusting relationship with your kids. It has great potential for a major rebellion gaining the opposite result. Talking from experience here...

If your kids have not learned to stay away from those sites - or know what to do when a bad site comes up accidentally - logging their internet usage is not going to make them learn it. They can always go to a friend's house or the library or, worst, in bad kid's house, to get to it. The objective is for them to choose to avoid these places on their own. If, even after all your teachings, they still decide to go enjoy the bad stuff, then, they are lost on their own free agency. All we can do is pray that they come back to the strait and narrow path as soon as possible.

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