Depression and the Gospel-How do I go back?

[Saraphina]

Good evening everyone. I have a few questions. First, some background is in order. I got married about nine months ago OUTSIDE the temple with the intent to be sealed a year later. Everyone knows how that will always go. About a month after my wedding my whole world decided to cave in on me. I had sudden health problems that have been constant in my life since, and I fell into a deep depression. Well, the health problems are being dealt with. Luckily I've learned to find humor in them as best I can and have made progress in ways of living without constant pain. The depression is....lifting. I was on medication for a few months that made me rather numb and now my question is....how do I get back into the gospel? The med I was on didn't help me with motivation to go back at all. The depression made it hard for me to go to church as well as the physical pain. Along with depression I've developed severe social anxiety so the idea of a new ward terrifies me. However like I've mentioned I'm getting better...but I still haven't a clue where to start. My husband and I want to get sealed....things have tried to get in our way but especially now that I am more myself, we have no intention of letting them get in our way. I'm just struggling with feeling the spirit at all, ever. When severely depressed I NEVER felt it...and I still have a really hard time. Anyone have any recommendations? I really want so badly to get back to where I've been spiritually and I want to get sealed to my husband.

[InnerGold]

I would encourage you to start out by going to the temple. Go sit on the grounds, feel the spirit, read the scriptures, etc. You can feel a great strength by going to the house of the Lord even if you are only on the outside right now.

Also, I would call the bishop of the ward, or have your husband call and ask them to come by your house and say, "hi"

On Sunday just go. You can do it! This was the thing that helped my brother. He finally just went despite his anxiety.

[cyoung]

I must echo the comments of Inner Gold. Just jump in. Show the friendliness that you want to recieve from your new friends. A smile and a handshake will come right back at you. Jump right in, get a calling, build the kingdom RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!

[Hemidakota]

Concur and ditto the remarks. You simply need to get involve in church and friends.

http://i.azjmp.com/0SbSY

Edited April 27, 2009 by Hemidakota

[Misshalfway]

First of all, if you have experienced health issues and depression, you are not alone. Many LDS people deal with the very things you describe and they struggle just like the rest of us.

I am glad you are finding humor in the suffering. It helps. And I am glad that you are seeing things resolve. I hope you are learning to manage the anxiety and feelings that perhaps are not reflective of how you really feel and who you really are.

Be patient with yourself as you move forward and don't be so discouraged if you have a setback. Setbacks are part of the deal with this crazy earth life. You don't have to make any social jumps to light speed with regards to being "involved" with the new ward. It is ok if your social involvement comes in stages as you take steps that make sense for you and your situation. And BTW, living a spiritually active life doesn't necessarily mean being best friends with everyone in the ward.

You do this like you do anything. You make a decision about where you want to go and you take steps to get there. Make a place for the simple basics; scriptures, prayer, and service. And then you walk in faith, especially thru those times when you don't feel as you want to. The Spirit of the Lord speaks to our minds as well as inside our feelings. It can and does transcend the depression. For me, I had to learn how to hear it thru the static and sometimes recognize the workings of the Lord after the darkness passed. I learned to recognize it or maybe have faith that it was there when I couldn't feel it and I learned to trust that Father would show me.

Allow your trials to pass thru you and teach you. But don't let them keep you from obedience. If you need to control how much social you experience as you learn to think your way thru the anxiety, then give yourself permission to do what works best for you. When I felt that way, I would do what I could do and then call it a victory. I would also ask Father to bless me with opportunities to interact with others in ways that didn't trigger the anxiety. I even asked the RS to make me a VTing supervisor so all I had to do was call people once a month. It wasn't much, but it was something I could do while I was healing and it connected me to the powers of heaven. I don't suppose the Lord saw it as a small offering as He knew me accepted my widows mite.

God knows. He knows how hard these things are and how Satan uses them to separate us from God if he can. Summon your determination to obey, but know that God will help you obey in ways that are gentle and healing and right for you as you move forward.

[Guest]

In addition to the excellent posts above, it might help if you take it in baby steps socially. Like, first get the missionaries to come over to get back into unity with the Spirit. Then home teachers and visiting teachers to come visit. This might get you comfortable enough to get you back into Sunday service.

[rameumptom]

I would also suggest a few books or therapy on training yourself to hope again. Certain mindfulness practices, as well as exercise, have recently proven to be at least as effective as medication for depression. The issue is developing a new habit in the brain, to replace the depressed state.

There are many great books on learning to be happy. Two of my favorites are: Happy For No Reason by Marci Shimoff, and What Happy People Know by Dan Baker PhD. Yoga, breathing exercises, etc.

Relaxation techniques: Learn ways to calm your stress - MayoClinic.com

Relaxation Techniques

And relaxation MP3s to help:

UHS Relaxation Techniques

RELAXATION

[Guest missingsomething]

Good evening everyone. I have a few questions. First, some background is in order. I got married about nine months ago OUTSIDE the temple with the intent to be sealed a year later. Everyone knows how that will always go. About a month after my wedding my whole world decided to cave in on me. I had sudden health problems that have been constant in my life since, and I fell into a deep depression. Well, the health problems are being dealt with. Luckily I've learned to find humor in them as best I can and have made progress in ways of living without constant pain. The depression is....lifting. I was on medication for a few months that made me rather numb and now my question is....how do I get back into the gospel? The med I was on didn't help me with motivation to go back at all. The depression made it hard for me to go to church as well as the physical pain. Along with depression I've developed severe social anxiety so the idea of a new ward terrifies me. However like I've mentioned I'm getting better...but I still haven't a clue where to start. My husband and I want to get sealed....things have tried to get in our way but especially now that I am more myself, we have no intention of letting them get in our way. I'm just struggling with feeling the spirit at all, ever. When severely depressed I NEVER felt it...and I still have a really hard time. Anyone have any recommendations? I really want so badly to get back to where I've been spiritually and I want to get sealed to my husband.

My suggestion would be to reach out to your bishop. I take it this is a new ward for you... so introduce yourself. Tell him what you have told us. Ask for a blessing. Ask him to assign you home teachers and visiting teachers. Also ask him to possibly suggest a few people that you could meet before going to church on Sunday.

You may or may not live close to a temple, and I understand going there isnt always "easy".. but innergold is right - there will be a peace felt there - even if you just roam the grounds.

Social anxiety is made worse when everything is new.... so my thoughts is if you could meet some of these people outside of church first, then you would at least know some of the people there. A priesthood blessing will also help.Then go.... just go.

One other suggestion: Get the Ensign delivered and read it. Seek out good music - Michael Mclean, Mormon Tabernacle Choir... and then do a little "success chart". I know it seems trivial but when we can see our progress, it will help to modivate you. Give yourself a star each time that you can sit down and read an article, read some scriptures, etc.

GOod luck, just keep praying... and here are two ideas brought up in the last Gen. Conf... COme what may and be happy - (life wasnt meant to be easy - was meant for trials so let them come, pray, you will get through them, try to find joy)... and Cast out Satan (when temptations and trials are at their peak...cast out Satan - command him to leave, and pray for the Spirit to fill your life and home).

Keep us up to date!

[Guest missingsomething]

In addition to the excellent posts above, it might help if you take it in baby steps socially. Like, first get the missionaries to come over to get back into unity with the Spirit. Then home teachers and visiting teachers to come visit. This might get you comfortable enough to get you back into Sunday service.

Yes these were my same thoughts. I just talk WAY more lol..Total thumbs up

[Saraphina]

Thank you everyone for your help! I really do appreciate it. I need all the help I can get, sometimes with depression things feel so impossible because you don't get WHY you can't feel a certain way.

I will keep you updated on how things go. For now I'll keep praying even though I mostly feel like I'm talking to myself.

[RadioactiveWolfboy]

I have Bipolar Disorder, so I can relate. For me I would get manic or agitated and avoid Church, or I would attend Church and my anxiety kicked into overdrive and it felt like everyone was watching me. Everytime the Missionaries would visit I would feel calm and at peace. Eventually I noticed that I would start to feel at peace at Church. I focused on that feeling and the Sacarament. As a result of taking baby steps and being able to recognize the Spirit, I was able to slowly gain a testimony. 7 months later I attended the Temple to do baptisms. That experience increased my testimony and lead me to realize that something was wrong with me. I realized after attending church and the Temple that I was Bipolar. A visit to the doctor confirmed my discovery and after 2 attempts on different meds, I gained stability. My life is so much better with the Gospel in it. I went through a divorce because of my un-medicated episodes, but have greatly improved my life since. I attend regularly, Hold a steady job, Finished a college degree, and have a wonderful wife. I also have a better relationship with my kids. I haven't really suffered any depression in about 6 years. I know that the keys for me are God first, Me, my wife, and my family. I pray, I study the scriptures, and I serve when I am able. I would've NEVER given a talk in Church or taught a class before I joined. I have given many a talk, and taught Elders Quorum as 2nd Counseler. I am no longer afraid to get up and give a talk, lesson, or presentation. I own my own business now and work with patients in a hospital. The Gospel has changed my life for the better. This depression you have...Pray for strength and fight it with all you have. Pray for strength, get a blessing. Giving in allows Satan to get hold of you. I sometimes have an off day and get a little out of control, but because of the Gospel in my life I am able to feel it and nip it in the bud. I wish you luck and hope you will make it back to Church.

Rich

[jameslentz]

Thank you everyone for your help! I really do appreciate it. I need all the help I can get, sometimes with depression things feel so impossible because you don't get WHY you can't feel a certain way.

I will keep you updated on how things go. For now I'll keep praying even though I mostly feel like I'm talking to myself.

Just remember that everyone here cares for you even though we may have never met...you can come to any of us at anytime for help or just to talk....your Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be happy and to return to Him, these are the first steps and He is with you. I pray for the Spirit to be with you in this journey.