Marriage

[dreiko]

i really appreciate your input. I think and pray and i want to marry her but then my mind thinks what will people think of you and your family and i pull back. Is this normal? I feel like i would let every down but I mean i dont think god would do that. Love is love but what if my love would get her in the church but what if wont?

Maybe i just need to make a decision. I do love her. I want to be with her. I think the only reason i havent married her is because im afraid of how my family will perceive me. I didnt go on a mission and marrying outside the church would put more on me. You know?

I normally wouldn't comment here, but several of my friends married non-members. Only a very few of them live happy marriages, and those happy marriages occurred because the non-member spouse converted to the church.

It isn't about what other people think. It's about what is best for you, and the only way that you will know that is if you continue to pray to the Lord until you have a firm witness. You say your emotions are getting in the way, then maybe you have already received your answer that you need to look elsewhere.

The way it sounds from your posts is that your love isn't strong enough to overcome the difference in religion... (which not only is a problem spiritually, but also denotes a great difference in culture.)

Yes, you have a lot of emotion and time invested in this girl... and yes, there are pressures to marry.

But let me ask you this one question: Do you honestly think that by getting married to this girl that the problems that you are facing now will go away? Marriage is not a solution to problems, it compounds them. And unless you can overcome those problems with a surety of heart and a witness from God, you will see things escalate.

From reading your posts, I think you are a good man, with a good heart. You will come to know which way is right.

(Note: I am not saying that marriage brings problems. Marriage has been instituted by God for the purpose of joy, but a marriage that is made to "solve" problems will only bring greater ones.)

[FairChild]

I married 2 non-members and admit, that creates problems all by itself. I have been divorced twice so I do know about what not to do to have a strong and healthy marriage.

What concerns me is the fact you aren't able to trust her enough to be telling her what you are telling us. Marriage is so hard and communication is one of the most important ingredients to a successful one. As a mom, if one of my sons came to me with what you have said, I would tell him to talk to her, you aren't ready to be married yet and to take a break from the relationship. If you are not ready to break up yet, is there an adult you both trust that would sit and counsel with you both concerning this situation?

I hope and pray the best for you. FC