can a bad relationship cause nightmares?


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I know in the beginning, ours was in question. She was forceful from a physical standpoint. she tested authority. Once, the police wanted to arrest her for taking the kids bike off the no biking path in our complex. She has been a rag on me for three weeks to clean up the town house for the pending management inspection. I told her this is not a white glove inspection but maintenance inspection.

Last night I was really groggy. Bed had not been made "12:30" am and she said not untill the sheets are dried. So the bed was made and she kept her computer on in the bedroom with some music while I tried to sleep.

Okay, Im asleap, then I was awaken by her..very very groggy, I had a hard time focusing on her. She looked peedoff and was over me what looked like a knife in her hand ready to thrust it into me. I was petrified. Then she has this evil grin and starts rotating the knife in the beam of a flashlight and said "always remember this reflection" I laid awake, not knowing if I should call 911 or email the bishop. She fell asleep then I emailed the bishop about it. 24 hours latter he has not responded.

I asked my wife this morning why she had a knife above me and she said nothing like that ever happened. you were asleep and I did not say anything to you.

Okay, now im loosing my mind or flashbacks from our earlier days are embedding into my dreams. My wife said I was yelling in my dreams and got up. We have had a rocky relationship. She always called her self phyco before we were married. Embarase her, and she will push you against the wall or take you down to the ground.

I think the stress of this marrige is getting to me.

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well......i have to apologise right now.....but whatever attracted you to this psycho in the first place? seems to me you both need counseling to deal with this.....if you were a woman that told me this i would say that you should consider leaving the house and that it didnt seem safe.....and dont think that some misguided macho thinking will save you in a fight as some crazies can muster incredible strength.......but maybe there's more to the story....i dont know.....all that you printed seemed clear enough about the possible hazards in your home.

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Two possibilities:

1. Yes, marital stress CAN cause nightmares (it's happened to me), as can any stressor in life (voice of experience here).

2. No, you weren't dreaming this incident. You've admitted she's capable of physical violence against you, and your comments read to me as she's very capable of psychological abuse. You say she admits to emotional health issues of her own as well. My gut reaction is that this really did happen, and you really need to protect yourself in all possible ways.

I wish I had more options available than just a cyber-hug and prayer.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It looks to be a bad nightmare. As far as her cleaning the carpet 5 times in a row before our unit inspection comes from the complex management. Often, she lets the house goto crap if NO one is invited. She has anxiety when some one comes over without her knowledge. If the visiting teachers comes over, she will wait to the last day and start cleaning the house or at least the downstairs on a Sunday.

Her mom has alot of these strange and weird traits. I did not think she had these but was wrong. Her mom and dad have been getting in verbal fights for 30 years. Mom is paranoid. Seems like anything discussed that might seem risky in nature like a hike, a plane ride or what ever she said "you better be carefully or your going to kill your self!!" She refuses to have the house vacant. House front doors were kicked in a decade ago by suspected thieves when everyone was home. Since that time, the front door had a 2x4 board on it. Evey one comes in though the front garage or the back sliding door.

Mom used to kick all the kids out of the kitchen saying they don't know how to cook or tell the kids not to use the washer or dryer for they were afraid that the kids would break it. Before my wife left the house in her early30s, she would rag on my wife saying "you will never survive" and she would constantly call us for the first three months we were married.

Seems there is some kind of quirk in the family members. My wife told be before we were married that no one in the family is married and it was called the "family name" curse!

Only one who is the most level headed of members and is very good nature is adopted and is married with four kids. This is a example of a very level headed and good family. Youngest daughter "my wife sister" who is in her mid thirties is so brainwashed by her mom she hates the idea of dating. She works full time. She is good nature but the idea of dating is out of the question.

Anyway, enough with my in-laws. how about yours?

Edited by bcguy
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Yea no problem. I told my parents about my wifes mental issues years ago but what can you say, there are two personality traits in most people. Public traits and private traits :) Her family never did tell her adopted daughter who she was adopted from. It was a family secret. A few years ago she was adopted from her aunt. Aunt could not financially keep her so the sister adopter her. Whats amazing, is thay look so much like one another. go figure! :)

BTW, if my wife ever saw these post she just might really kill me! :) But she does not know I used this web site.

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Guest Alana

I've called and canceled appointments in my sleep before. I went to bed worrying about forgetting again to cancel it. I dreamed I canceled it. Turns out I did in my sleep. Of course what ever is going on in real life can affect your dreams. Just use some common sense regardless if you have dreams or not about your life.

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