So Shy

[beefche]

Not that extreme! But smalltalk is difficult for me,... I'll survive though :-/.

Small talk is difficult for alot of people. I have found something that helps me. I am typically not very shy, but I do have situations that make me uncomfortable and quiet. So, before I go to that situation, I will create conversations in my head. I imagine meeting someone and what I would say. I think of topics or a sentence to start the conversation. I also remember to ask questions that are more than just "yes or no" type answers. The last thing I will do is think of a way to leave the conversation--it's not good to just abruptly leave someone while talking to that person.

[jacobh]

hehe the things you can find on the internet: How to Make Small Talk | eHow.com

[BrioCyrain]

I have somewhat overcome my shyness over the years, but now it's more a matter of interest and that person's interest.

Like I can have a discussion with someone if it interests me, but if it's something boring and I have nothing to say about it...why talk?

[johnnylingo]

Thanks for all of the comments.

It just seems like loud, outgoing extroverts have the advantage in everything, be it dating, or job hunting, or just getting what they want.

I feel like I do have a lot of positive qualities, but that they won't really help me get married because I am shy.

[BrioCyrain]

Thanks for all of the comments.

It just seems like loud, outgoing extroverts have the advantage in everything, be it dating, or job hunting, or just getting what they want.

I feel like I do have a lot of positive qualities, but that they won't really help me get married because I am shy.

Agreed, it's amazing how when someone gets me to talk that people think I am a pretty cool person...it's interesting.

[Miss_Mae]

I used to be quite shy. Actually, I still am, but it is better-hidden Being shy actually has a sociophysical aspect, according to research, so it is not just your personality. However, I still think it is important to break out of the shell a little. Here are some things that helped me:

1. Compliment others. Sometimes it is hard to talk to someone for fear of them rejecting you or thinking you're awkward, but I have yet to find someone who was offended at a genuine compliment :)

2. Go (preferably with a friend who you feel comfortable with) to a place where no one knows you. (maybe Salsa dancing, or to a comedy club, or another ward's activity, etc.) This can help you get out of the stigma that people already know you as "the shy girl". You can try being outgoing without anyone thinking it is totally fake or out of character.

3. Make the goal to do a few, mild things you aren't comfortable with. This could be something like calling attention to an incorrect order at a restaurant (excuse me, I'm sorry, but we asked for a hamburger, not a cheeseburger), or making your visiting teaching calls, etc. Do these few things every time the opportunity presents itself for a month or so. Then try a few other things.

4. Don't disregard common manners. Introduce yourself and/or your friends to new people you meet, and shake hands. All it takes is saying, "Hi, my name is __________" [shake hands]. One great way to help things be less uncomfortable is to tell something about those you are introducing to their new acquaintances. This gives them something to talk about and takes the pressure off of you, while still helping you come off as courteous and interested. For instance, you might say, "Mike, this is my friend Miranda, she just got back from a trip to California. Aren't your parents from there?" Leave it there, and they should start up the rest of the conversation for you.

5. Try to focus on others and you will lose yourself in them, while still coming off as outgoing.

Hope this helps! It has worked for me :)