Patriarchal Blessing (HELP!)


Recommended Posts

This is my first post and i have joined due to a question. This may pull an obvious answer but please correct me if I'm wrong or if there is a way for it to be understood. My question concerns how Patriarchal Blessings tend to be bulleted with events in our lives, mission, education, marriage, career, family. It seems to be a general outline (maybe not all the time, but from what i know). Now let me get a few things out of the way. I do understand that many things may not be mentioned for us, doesn't mean we can't receive them. I also understand that some are shorter than others and that is not significant. My question is concerning the order. Now, my question is directed as such, for a sister who may have a mission mentioned but it obviously isn't concerning when or the timing. What seems interesting is that its mentioned before marriage, education, family, ect. Is this significant to you? Is it simply dictated by the spirit as to when, disregarding its chronology? I know that missions are primary a Priesthood responsibility and sisters should only prioritize it accordingly. How does this line up with that? Would God ask or commit a sister in a Patriarchal Blessing? Thanx.

P.S. A little background to my question is im dating a sister who has talked with me about her conflict ;] (telling me minimal things about her p-blessing) it becomes a bit more conflicted cause her parents have an opinion which supports a mission. I obviously have a biased cause i would eventually want to marry her lol. But honest opinions would be great. Specially any quotes that could support the question.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Let me make sure I understand your question. Are you asking if the things mentioned in a Patriarchal blessing are given in the order that they should happen?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay just going by mine..I would say no that they don't follow necessarily follow a chronological order.

First of all mine talks about children and teaching children the principles of the Gospel. Then it talks about marriage.

Then it talks about how I should attend mutual activities. So it isn't in any kind of a order that would go with life. It's kind of a hodge podge mix kind of thing. What ever the Patriarch felt the spirit to say.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Without knowing specifically what your girlfriend' says about a mission...sometimes a mission doesn't always necessarily mean the ones when you turn 19 or 21. It could be one later in life or a mission that is not full time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well ya, thats basically how i feel about the subject. But her parents love to hang on to the idea that because its listed before its a good sign that its not towards later in her life. I feel its up to her and the spirit in deciding at what time. Apparently it says something along the lines of her having "a desire" (which right now she doesn't). But i dunno. I know sisters aren't supposed to feel pressured to go. I obviously would like her to go if its whats right, then again i know they are counseled to pursue marriage specially if an opportunity arises (such as myself ;])

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As long as what YOU want isn't overriding any opportunities she might have. Not all young women have a desire to go on a mission. But just make sure that lack of desire on her part is not motivated by your own feelings on the subject.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fast and pray together about it.

I'm actually rather opposed to this idea. This is her patriarchal blessing, her mission, and her realm of revelation. JavonCollins holds no keys or authority that would put him in a position to receive any such revelation for her. If he's going to fast and pray with her about it, he should remain entirely objective and let her receive the revelation for herself. And regardless of whatever inspiration he feels he receives pertaining her life he should keep to himself, because he is not entitled to inspiration for her. It's his job to be supportive, and caring, and if what she chooses to do isn't what he think she should do, continue to be supportive and step aside so she can do it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest missingsomething

Yes, i think the simple question is that.

Specifically was told when by my patriarch when I received mine..............

remember, the blessing is not a fortune... it is not a promise... it does not tell you everything that will happen in your life...it is not meant to be a step by step map but rather a general guideline and promise that if you live your life in accordance to the gospel that you will receive these blessings...

(Or something close to that :P)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest missingsomething

I'm actually rather opposed to this idea. This is her patriarchal blessing, her mission, and her realm of revelation. JavonCollins holds no keys or authority that would put him in a position to receive any such revelation for her. If he's going to fast and pray with her about it, he should remain entirely objective and let her receive the revelation for herself. And regardless of whatever inspiration he feels he receives pertaining her life he should keep to himself, because he is not entitled to inspiration for her. It's his job to be supportive, and caring, and if what she chooses to do isn't what he think she should do, continue to be supportive and step aside so she can do it.

Mo honey - hehehehe... I think the person meant about marrying her vs. her going on a mission... but I could be wrong.... (and I think that should be something they pray about together)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mo honey - hehehehe... I think the person meant about marrying her vs. her going on a mission... but I could be wrong.... (and I think that should be something they pray about together)

I’m quite aware that the issue at hand is marrying her vs. going on a mission. But that’s still a decision for her to make. He has no right, nor authority to receive any revelation for her regarding this issue.

From personal experience:

I met an amazing girl several years ago. We quickly became very good friends, and were referring to each other as best friends within a matter of months. We lived about 3 hours away from each other, so whenever we’d go to visit one another we’d usually go for a weekend at a time. People would see us together at church or whatever social activity and many many people concluded that we were perfect for each other and that we should probably marry each other.

Well, to her and I, this sounded like a great idea. We both prayed about it and I was excited to feel the Lord say to me that she was a great choice for a spouse and I would be very happy marrying her. Then I was shocked, as was she, to find out that the answer to her prayer was something more along the lines of “you haven’t yet met the person I intend for you to marry.” Why would he tell me yes and her no? I think C.S. Lewis articulated it best in The Horse and His Boy when Aslan explains to Shasta that he “tells no man any story but his own.”

This is where the concept of stewardship comes into play. We receive revelation for no one but ourselves and those over whom we have stewardship. In the current situation, this young man has no stewardship over the young woman, and therefore is not entitled to any revelation for her. Praying together about whether or not she should serve a mission vs. getting married is entirely out of his dominion. That belongs to her and those who hold a stewardship over her (in this case, her parents). I think that praying together about this will only complicate the issue, especially if one perceives a different answer than the other. I remain adamant that he should let her seek her own revelation. If she feels a mission is in order for her, then that’s what the Lord has told her and he has no right to say otherwise based on revelation to him. Whereas he has admitted a clear bias in the situation, I think it is even more important that he give her the room and time to make the decision for herself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Fast and pray together about it.

Mo honey - hehehehe... I think the person meant about marrying her vs. her going on a mission... but I could be wrong.... (and I think that should be something they pray about together)

I have to agree with MOE. It's not the OP's place to ask if his girlfriend should go on a mission or marry him instead. Not with her anyway.

I had a similar experience to MOE's. I was dating a guy, and I really wanted to marry him, and he, me. He prayed about it, and for quite some time he didn't get an answer. Finally, the answer came to him that if we got married, we could be happy. When he talked with me about it, he commented that it felt like we could be happy, but not necessarily that we would be happy. When I prayed about it, I felt sick to my stomach. We stayed together, thinking maybe circumstances would change later. It turned out that I was supposed to go on a mission, and once I finally figured that out (and received an answer to prayer about it, he was supportive. In fact, when I told him, he simply said "I know." He had continued to pray about us on his own, and eventually felt that the time wasn't right -- that I needed to serve a mission. Once he learned that, he kept it to himself, because he knew he couldn't tell me until I'd figured it out for myself. Now I'm married to my husband, he's married to his wife, and all four of us are very happy.

If the OP wants to pray about marrying this woman, that's perfectly fine, but he's not in any position to receive revelation about whether or not she should go on a mission. In my case, that knowledge came to my boyfriend after much pestering. I'm guessing the Lord just wanted him to stop asking. :) And like someone else also said, the OP should absolutely in no way put pressure on this young woman to marry him instead of serving a mission, especially if she wants to go.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are the things mentioned in a Patriarchal blessing given in the order that they should happen?

I agree with Pam's response. Based on my own Patriarchal blessing, I would have to say that there is no strict, chronological order.

I have also found that certain things can come around more than once!

For instance, if a Patriarchal blessing speaks of leading/guiding youth, it can refer to one's own children, AND it could refer to a calling in the YW/YM. A reference to a mission could mean at 19 AND later in life as a senior.

I believe this is why we are asked to read our Patriarchal blessings often, so that we can see how it never really expires. We can see the blessings come to us over and over again, it may just be different than from when we first read the words and from what we originally understood the words to mean.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have to agree with MOE. It's not the OP's place to ask if his girlfriend should go on a mission or marry him instead.

MarginOfError and Wingnut are correct.

However, I think it should be fair to point out that JavonCollins stated:

I feel its up to her and the spirit in deciding at what time [...] I obviously would like her to go if its whats right [...]

It seems---to me---that JavonCollins was merely asking about the chronological order of things. It was another user who posted the comment about fasting/praying together.

~TG

Link to comment
Share on other sites

mine talks about how i will be part of a great missionary work around the world. the way it's worded i always looked at it as a general generational thing. not specifically "my" mission. i just never had the urge to go on a full time mission.

however, now i do wonder sometimes if it was being more specific than i gave credit. i have 4 sons, there are moments they will be doing something and i can literally see them as missionaries. what kind of missionaries they would be, what kind of countries they would go to.... that kind of thing. it's an odd feeling cause i can't see them as adults any other way. can't imagine them getting married or having kids, even have a hard time with imagining them in high school. but i can see a mission. maybe they are the missionary work around the world that i will be a part of?

either way i'm not losing sleep over it. i'll do the best i can and leave the rest in the lord's hands.

not sure that helps ya any.. lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote from President Hinckley half a dozen conferences ago:

"Now I wish to say something to bishops and stake presidents concerning missionary service. It is a sensitive matter. There seems to be growing in the Church an idea that all young women as well as all young men should go on missions. We need some young women. They perform a remarkable work. They can get in homes where the elders cannot.

I confess that I have two granddaughters on missions. They are bright and beautiful young women. They are working hard and accomplishing much good. Speaking with their bishops and their parents, they made their own decisions to go. They did not tell me until they turned their papers in. I had nothing to do with their decision to go.

Now, having made that confession, I wish to say that the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve are united in saying to our young sisters that they are not under obligation to go on missions. I hope I can say what I have to say in a way that will not be offensive to anyone. Young women should not feel that they have a duty comparable to that of young men. Some of them will very much wish to go. If so, they should counsel with their bishop as well as their parents. If the idea persists, the bishop will know what to do.

I say what has been said before, that missionary work is essentially a priesthood responsibility. As such, our young men must carry the major burden. This is their responsibility and their obligation.

We do not ask the young women to consider a mission as an essential part of their life's program. Over a period of many years, we have held the age level higher for them in an effort to keep the number going relatively small. Again to the sisters I say that you will be as highly respected, you will be considered as being as much in the line of duty, your efforts will be as acceptable to the Lord and to the Church whether you go on a mission or do not go on a mission.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't think it's chronological. it's whatever the patriarch is most in tune with first and then the rest after.

Oh, I may as well throw another wrench into this.

My patriarchal blessing is very much chronological. It goes through, in this order, high school, mission, education, career and family and church service, and finally death. I have no doubt that some are chronological and some are not. It likely varies a great deal between patriarchs, and probably also has a good deal of variation within patriarchs. It would be absurd to make generalizations about whether or not the blessings are chronological or not. That would be something that would have to be determined on an individual basis, and is probably something that would only be revealed to the recipient of that blessing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mo honey - hehehehe... I think the person meant about marrying her vs. her going on a mission... but I could be wrong.... (and I think that should be something they pray about together)

I took it to be more about her going on a mission. Since he brought up what the parents' interpretation of the blessing was.

Edited by pam
Link to comment
Share on other sites

My blessing talks about performing the duties of the House of Ephraim which is to gather Israel. So for me, serving a mission was just on of many activities I could be involved in during the course of my life time.

Not having read this girls blessing, maybe the Lord will give her the choice like every other female in the church. And maybe during the course of her life, she will have more than one opportunity to serve a mission. Perhaps she will be directed to serve as a single sister, maybe she will serve with her husband(whether it turns out to me the OP or not) or maybe she will serve after he is dead.

I think PB's give directions and blessings that have more than one application for the course of our lives.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you very much everyone. You have been very helpful indeed. Yes my question did revolve around the chronology of the patriarchal blessing and i am also thankful that some other points were hit revolving around the issue. My question was somewhat loaded and had more around it. I am trying to stay out of her choice to decide which path she will follow, as it is hers alone and i only want to encourage what is right. She knows what i want ;] and yes its up to her to figure out whats gonna work for her. Thank you for the quote from President Hinckley @ Loudmouth_Mormon, was very insightful and clear as always from our prophets. It touches his feelings on parents roles with sister missionaries in their decision to serve and i like that. So everyone knows im pretty satisfied with the feedback and if anyone wishes to say more or has other quotes, fantastic! Thanx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest dec2057

Our Bishop told one of the young women here in the ward that if she had an honest proposal for marriage from a good young man, that she should be married instead of fulfill a mission as the primary mission in life for women is marriage and children.

No, things in your patriarchal blessing are not necessarily in order. A mission may be something that is fulfilled here in this life, or it may also refer to a mission in paradise teaching those in spirit prison.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share