BenRaines Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 TOP TEN WAYS General Authorities Eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Remember how each one speaks in conference as you read through these. 10. Paul H. Dunn: "I remember back in WWII that I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Back then, they were big enough to live on for a week. Being the only soldier to have survived the battle in my brigade, I really didn't know if I could eat it or not, but I remember my fallen buddy's words as he died in my arms: "Paul, if you just take one bite at a time you can tackle anything." So I took that giant cup and, breaking it with the bat Babe Ruth gave me after I struck him out with two outs in the bottom of the ninth in the seventh game of the World Series, proceeded to wolf down the tiny morsels." 9. David B. Haight: "Imagine 70 years ago on a rough road between Idaho and Logan. There were no Circle K's, no 7- 11's. You had to bring your Peanut Butter Cups with you. Ruby and I split one for the first time in 1937. 8. Dallin H. Oaks: "The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup challenges us to consume. From the beginning there have been three steps in eating a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. First, remove the wrapper. This is best done quickly, by turning the cup over, grasping the outer fold and pulling away from the bottom. Second..." 7. Joseph B. Wirthlin: "When I was young I would sprint to the corner store, buy a Reese's and run my hand through my hair before taking it down in one bite. These days I don't sprint, and I have no hair, but the peanut butter cup remains." 6. Richard G. Scott: "If you have not eaten a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I plead with you. Eat one now. Enjoy the chocolate, the peanut butter. Do not delay. If you have thought, "That's not for me", I plead with you to reconsider. Of all foods I treasure, this one was the first." 5. M. Russell Ballard: "The time has come when members of the church need to reach out to our friends and share a cup, a peanut butter cup. It is not enough to raise a chocolate bar, it must now have peanut butter." 4. Thomas S. Monson: "I remember I ate my first Reese's Peanut Butter Cup when I was a tender lad of eight. My mother came up to me, and with a loving twinkle in her eye, asked, 'Tommy, are you eating a Reese's?' And I would invariably smile up to her, 'Yes, Yes, I am.''But Tommy, did you know that Sister Jensen next door hasn't eaten a Reese's Cup in years?' My young mind thought upon the plight of my neighbor. Tears were shed. Hearts were gladdened. A cup was shared." 3. Boyd K. Packer: "In all my years, I have always eaten my Reese's Peanut Butter Cups the same way - the established way we have been instructed to eat them. There is a far greater evil in this world - those who believe they can eat their cups in a way unconventional to the time- honored manner. We must be true and faithful and eat our Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the customary and recognized approach as it has been established." 2. Neal A. Maxwell: "I intentionally initiate the delicious design of deglutition of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup by nibbling a negligible nit of the culinary creamy cavalcade. It is exclusively through small entities that the great things are fabricated." AND THE #1 WAY 1. J. Golden Kimball: "Hell, Heber, I'll eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup any damned way I want!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talisyn Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 This is so irreverent....but anything with J. Golden Kimball rocks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 I love #1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazed-and-confused Posted September 6, 2009 Report Share Posted September 6, 2009 ROFL.....thanks ben Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mightynancy Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Imagine my dismay. When I was a Gospel Doctrine teacher, I was getting all worked up about something, then slapped my hand over my mouth. "I almost had a J. Golden moment!" Only a few people understood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxel Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Oh MAN, those were funny! I almost cried when I read the Thomas S. Monson one, I was laughing so hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Yet isn't it so like President Monson? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 I love #1You miss Bro. Kimball, don't you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 You miss Bro. Kimball, don't you? Well, she did watch him grow up . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxel Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Yet isn't it so like President Monson?YES! That's why it's so hilarious."Tears were shed. Hearts were gladdened. A cup was shared." I can HEAR him saying that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Well, she did watch him grow up . . . Hey hey..watch it bucko. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 I wonder if anyone's ever forwarded this onto them (the ones still alive... I'm sure they have...) I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall to see their reactions. I wonder why there isn't a Pres. Hinkley one though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxel Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Hey hey..watch it bucko. And pam raises the banhammer...I agree Jenamarie- seeing how the GA's would react to their own 'Reese's PB Cup' section would be priceless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miztrniceguy Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Pam babysat J.G.K. when she was a teen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 Pam babysat J.G.K. when she was a teen. What happened to the "nice" in your name. Do you need to change your username? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted September 7, 2009 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 I would comment but then someone would say I was there to witness it. :) Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miztrniceguy Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 lol Ben...i thought you were the kid next door to Pam back then! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted September 7, 2009 Report Share Posted September 7, 2009 (edited) I believe that Pres. Hinkley might have said something like this. My Dear Brothers and Sisters, welcome others into your fold, extend the hand of fellowship and love towards them. Reach out to the misfortunate among you. Those that require but a small act of kindness. Share with them your most prize possession, a bite of Reese Peanut Butter Cup. Let them see the joy on your face, the love in your heart, as you lovingly share this heavenly treat. Welocome those, that who might be of another faith to share this divine confection that we have in so rich abundance. We do not find fault with others who prefer different candy, we in fact welcome them to bring their favorite, and together we will enjoy the spirit of partaking in one of the most enjoyable expierence outside of our Temples. Edited September 7, 2009 by lilered Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moksha Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 Early polygamist approach: May I be so bold Miss Buttercup as to inquire about thine matrimonial status? Whilst thou tarry here, I will tell thee of thy wondrous bounty and how my horde of blessed candies wouldst be enriched by thy hand and thy chocolate peanut butter goodness. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 Porter Rockwell: Bro. Joseph, point out those who are in opposition to your direction to partake of Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and I will pay them a visit this evening. I stand ready to ride with the Butter Cup Avengers to allow these fools one more chance to repent before meeting their maker. You know I stand ready to defend this principle, even with my life. I have been accused of being a cereal killer, but you and I both know, I never shot any box of cereal that didn't need killing, because of poor taste and high sugar content. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 Thanks so much for sharing Ben, these were awesome. I read them at work, (during lunch of course!) and I was totally laughing out loud with no one around that would understand why they were so funny. I will never eat a peanut butter cup the same way again! Of course, Richard G Scott's was my favorite, with President Monson's a close 2nd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxel Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 I love Neal A. Maxwell's one, too. I've always loved his use of alliteration, and the overbearing alliteration used for his PB cup entry was comedic genius. Did you write these, Ben? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilered Posted September 8, 2009 Report Share Posted September 8, 2009 And finally Bruce R McConkie: When the McConkie clan left their native Scotland and went to Ireland, they were searching for the very origin of this phenomena, having no success, they left for America. It was during this pilgramage that they disovered the true joy of the gospel and much later they were nurtured because of their obediance with those wonderful angelic like qualities of the Peanut Butter Cup. There is a parable of the Peanut Butter Cups, whereby we are taught the great lesson of making prudent and wise decisions. As you will recall, in this wonderful example, great meditation was necessary before the blessings of enjoyment come from savoring just one mere morsel of a Peanut Butter Cup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skippy740 Posted October 3, 2009 Report Share Posted October 3, 2009 <bump> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kawazu Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 Worth a chuckle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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