cbriggs819 Posted September 22, 2009 Report Share Posted September 22, 2009 I am LDS and just found out this week my best friend from high school who is not LDS is getting married. She has asked me to be a bridesmaid and while I have not seen the bridesmaid dresses yet I am pretty positive they will not work with wearing garments. I really want to be a part of her wedding. So my dilemma is do I ask her to accommodate me on her day and make a changes to the dress or should I just not wear my garments for one day? Please help! Thanks, Cassie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dravin Posted September 22, 2009 Report Share Posted September 22, 2009 I recommend you ask her to change the dress or depending on how the dress is designed you may be able to just get away with a shawl of some sort, or something of a similar concept. Push comes to shove you may have to tell her that you can't be a bridesmaid (if a solution can't be found) but you'd be delighted to attend as regular old guest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted September 22, 2009 Report Share Posted September 22, 2009 If she considers you a close friend (and I would guess she does, since she asked you to be in your wedding) then she should be willing to accomodate you. I would discuss it with her. The dress itself doesn't have to be garment-worthy. If it's already long enough, then you can pair it with a matching shrug (if it comes with a matching wrap you can use the material to make one), or you can buy a shrug or cardigan in a neutral color to wear. With the Christmas season coming up lots of stores like Nordstroms will start selling very formal looking cardigans and shrugs that can be used to make a sleeveless dress more modest. Or, if she doesn't want to have one bridesmaid who doesn't quiet look like the others, you could politely ask to not be in her bridal party, so that your covenants aren't violated, and so she'll have ample time to find a replacement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celica Posted September 22, 2009 Report Share Posted September 22, 2009 I was married in a non lds church and had a couple of lds bridesmaids. I allowed all my bridesmaids to choose their own dresses. They all chose different styles in the same colour. My lds bridesmaids choose strapless or spagetthi straps for the one day. I told them I had no problem with them having sleeves, they made their choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted September 23, 2009 Report Share Posted September 23, 2009 i agree with those that say talk to her about it. if it were me i would not be offended. i also agree with those that say there are formal ways to make something fit for garments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jherre Posted September 26, 2009 Report Share Posted September 26, 2009 First thing that you need to do is give her a heads up on your dilema. Explain the problem. I have seen girls that cant find a modest prom dress wear an undershirt. It is actually quite common. If it cant work there is no shame to respectfully back out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llamanade Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Since she asked you to be in her wedding, she must like you a lot. I'm sure if you just talk to her about it and explain how important the garments are for you, she will understand and you can work something out. Having you there is probably more important to her than the dress. Perhaps you could offer to alter the dress/pay for alterations yourself? I'm sure you can work something out. Just talk to her. :) Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jadams_4040 Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 I am LDS and just found out this week my best friend from high school who is not LDS is getting married. She has asked me to be a bridesmaid and while I have not seen the bridesmaid dresses yet I am pretty positive they will not work with wearing garments. I really want to be a part of her wedding. So my dilemma is do I ask her to accommodate me on her day and make a changes to the dress or should I just not wear my garments for one day? Please help!Thanks,CassieTell her the truth and where your garments. never comprimise what is right no matter what happens. We had a lds nephew get married a couple years ago in a catholic church; we had about five or six bridesmaids in the lineup whom were worthy members whom chose to wear appropriate dresses to accomidate there garments. I have never been so proud to be l.d.s!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmy- Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 (edited) Sometimes you have to walk through 'hell' for a heavenly cause.. Provided the dresses aren't to revealing (and I don't mean your shoulders).. perhaps it's a small sacrifice to make. Edited September 29, 2009 by bmy- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moksha Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 Could you wear a turtle neck over your garments? That way your garments wouldn't show and you would be extra modest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxel Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 My ex girlfriend went through this exact problem. The dress was too revealing around the shoulders and cleavage- she solved the problem with a shawl. I'd have a frank discussion with her and explain the situation and try to come to a solution. Whatever you do, don't forego wearing garments just to be a bridesmaid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
will227457 Posted September 29, 2009 Report Share Posted September 29, 2009 well im goin gto go out on a limb here...I say skip the garment for a day it is your friends special day it is about her not you and your special needs, most weddings the brides maids dresses match, don't ask her to make a change just for you that is selfish... if you don't want to skip wearing them for a few hours don't be a brides maid the day will be stressful enough with out you being the only person not matching in the pictures...etc..etc... I personally do not think that you will be hit by a bolt of lighting if you don't wear them for a few hours....but I have been wrong before.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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