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Hardest Thing About Being Single

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By Guest,
in Young Single Adults, College and Institute

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What is the hardest thing about being single?  

53 members have voted

  1. 1. What is the hardest thing about being single?

    • Dating? (yes, dating can really bite the big one)
      4
    • Relief Society (well, it can get a little overwhelming)
      4
    • Lack of a companion
      43
    • The clock is tick-tick-ticking
      5
    • Pressure from family/friends/church (don't deny it kids)
      10
    • Other (please explain below)
      3

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Good Evening! My mother and I have had a lot of compelling discussions over this topic and I was wondering what everyone thought. (To be quite frank, my mother is anxious for me to tie the knot)

I think the hardest thing for me is... well... all of the above. But mostely pressure from my family to get married as well as wanting an eternal companion and starting a family of my own.

Please post about this... I'm feeling lonely in my quest.

kisses,

Miss Bug

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Jenda

Jenda

Posted
Posted

Miss Bug, I am not single, I am re-married, but I do remember some things from when I was single, and have some longings that continue into the married state that make me wish I had put a little more thought into it.

I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but there are many ways we are incompatible that I wasn't as concerned about when we started dating. I thought maybe I would change regarding his attitude, or he would change regarding mine, or both, regarding several issues, but neither of it happened.

The most important one, IMO, is our level of commitment go God, church, the gospel. The gulf that divides us is wide, and we are both members of my church (RLDS). My only suggestion to you, and you seem pretty well glued together, is to make sure what it is you believe and want, and get to know how the person you are dating feels about those same things, because down the line, if they are not in sync, you will be very out of sync with him, and there will be lots of pressures on you, you will do things alone, and it will make you very lonely.

That is all I can say. Good luck with singlehood!

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Well, I was engaged a while ago. I was going to be married May 10, 2003. But He was in special ops and was sent over seas. We've since split. It's good I guess but I miss having someone like HalleysComet said. So to me, being single is harder than it is fun/easy/etc.

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DisRuptive1

DisRuptive1

Posted
Posted

Lack of companion.

I'd like to have someone to tell all my secrets to and someone for me to fall in love with. I'd want someone to talk to, to love, and to always have at my side. My constant companion, like the holy ghost. Except they won't go away when I've been bad.

I've done everything I can think of to try and find a woman without actually resorting to being a jerk or doing any of that singles stuff. I figure if you call yourself single your basically admitting defeat cus it's weird to be called single. To go to single's dances. Everything structured around not being single.

A fact: Men are attracted to women that they can see themselves in bed with, they like women with nice bodies and faces; women are attracted to men they can see themselves kissing, women seem to like lips just as much as guys like bodies.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Lindy

Lindy

Posted
Posted

Lack of companion...

Ditto What DR1 said in first paragraph. But to me it's a lot more than that, to have fun together, to trust and rely on each other, I think you must have faith in each other...respect along with the love...and to share ideas and debate on silly things, to laugh and cry together, to have similiar goals and to share the adventure to reach them together. To grow through life...together. Faith, Love and Trust...to me everything else is icing on the cake.

And I have to agree with Jenda "The most important one, IMO, is our level of commitment to God, church, the gospel."

Without a commitment to God, or Jesus Christ - there isn't much of a basis for a relationship.

My marriage ended because of a lack of commitment to God (and family)

And subsequent serious relationships that I have had ended because of difference(s) in commitment and/or religious outlooks. Good men, bad outlooks (IMO) :)

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cedar

cedar

Posted
Posted

I wish the family would have left me alone.

And about the dating part... I didn't like

-getting set up

-going out with a girl that I really didn't want to but she asked me and I thought I should because if I don't another girl I might have interst in will find out I woudn't give a geek a chance and therefore make me out to be an insensitive bastage.

-the girls who wanted to cuddle on the couch durring movies (I mean, get real, there are 20 kids in this apartment and you want to cuddle? Why stop at just cuddling? Why not make out infront of everyone? Goodness knows we have all seen Wedding Singer 10 times already.)

-Girls who lie to the relief society that you said you would call and you didn't (this is a half truth, i didn't call, but I never said that I was going to either!)

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  • 3 years later...
Argentina84

Argentina84

Posted
Posted

Lack of companion.

I'd like to have someone to tell all my secrets to and someone for me to fall in love with. I'd want someone to talk to, to love, and to always have at my side. My constant companion, like the holy ghost. Except they won't go away when I've been bad.

I've done everything I can think of to try and find a woman without actually resorting to being a jerk or doing any of that singles stuff. I figure if you call yourself single your basically admitting defeat cus it's weird to be called single. To go to single's dances. Everything structured around not being single.

Lack of companion.

Well..it's been a long time since I stopped going to dances just to stand up or dance with my friends (in the best of cases, male friends).

I wish I had someone to share my life with. I agree with DisRuptive1 on that. But perhaps I am not ready to have a family of my own yet? I keep setting goals to be a little better everyday, and try to overcome those frustrating feelings of loneliness.

Regards!

Disruptive1: I am not attracted to men I can see myself kissing, but men I can see myself being hugged firmly, feeling protected and loved. Never had the chance yet.

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  • 1 month later...
Elgama

Elgama

Posted
Posted

I am married too just stumbled onto the board - I think I was lonely initially and the pressure at church is tough, however my advice is love every minute of it because if you love being single its much easier to love being married because you won't rush into any silly dates or marriage.

Marriage can be just as tough and has challenges that make the single life look attractive

-Charley

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SMG

SMG

Posted
Posted

I, too, have to say all of the above. But I had to place RS being overwhelming as first. (I avoid it like the plague for the time being, it makes me TOO uncomfortable.) It seems like if someone there hasn't just had a new baby or grand baby, they or one of their children are getting married! Some days, I think I must be the only semi-active single sister who's not a divorcee!

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ruthiechan

ruthiechan

Posted
Posted

First, before getting married it was pressure, some of which was from the outside and someone of it was internal.

Second, after my husband and I separated and before we reconciled I missed the companionship.

Now I feel some pressure to have *another* child, when right now, is not a good idea. My husband and I just moved back in together two months ago! Oy!

Cedar, that sucks. Especially that last one. Regarding the cuddling, I take it it was bothersome because you were only on a friendly date, not going steady? Also, some people just like to cuddle. Those same girls probably cuddle with their female friends! I've known people like that. Once I figured that out it was kind of endearing.

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Aphrodite

Aphrodite

Posted
Posted

bug it sounds like your Mother isputting way too much pressure on you for her own benefits! Can I ask how old you are? You should look for a partner if and when you are ready on YOUR terms not your Mothers! Who says you would have kids straight away anyway? Start thinking about what YOU want.

Whoever said if you love being single its easier being married I think is spot on. I absolutely loved being single! I even turned my hubby down initially as I didnt really want a serious relationship! I was having too much fun going out with my girls, gettin attention, getting phone numbers, waiting for that phone call.......ahhh those were the days.

Mind you, I started dating my husband when I was only 20, so I was too young to have people start pressurising me to find someone. If I was 25 it might have been a different story and I sympathise.

One tip that always worked for me-If you are desperate and go looking for someone, it takes longer/might not happen. If you go with the flow and think whatever happens happens, you will find someone! In my last year of being single before I started going out with my husband I was literally beating them off with a stick as I wasn't atall bothered! You must give out certain vibes or something. :) I think it shows that you're happy with yourself no matter what and are not mooching around because you're single. Not attractive. Attractive is being happy and comfortable with yourself no mater what you marital status.

Having said all that, I didnt know how good marriage would be until I did it-So if I was to be single noe, I think I would find it realy hard. Being lonely-Im so sed to sharing everything with my hubby. I know my Dad found it incredibly hard when he and my Mum divorced. Its not easy, I admit that.

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DeafRM64

DeafRM64

Posted
Posted

HI..

Yes... the hardest part of being single is lack of companion. Among other things included is pressure, dating and clock tick tocking.. I'm 43 yrs old and have never been married. I was engaged years years ago when I was 21 but it didn't work out. As I look back, it was a blessing in disguise that I decided not to marry this person because he was incompatible in every way. I was young and naive wanting to get married like the young women in the church. I"m so glad I didn't marry this person. I"m still not married, but as I got older, I got used to it. IT's not so bad being single. I've learned to embrace it. Immserse yourself in service and you won't feel so lonely. I know I will be waiting a long time for my chance, but know the wait is worth it.

I assure you as you get older, it won't hurt so much. My 2 cents worth.

DeafRM64

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