truly need some advice/support (long story)

[glow_inthe_dark_girl]

This might not be the right place to express my concerns, but I don´t have anywhere I can go at the moment or I dont even know WHAT to do. I hope I can get some advice and encouragement as I need it more than ever.

-- some time ago, i stopped going to church, and before I even realised what had happened I ended up doing everything that i was thought was wrong. I never denied the church, but I think that it was worst, I did all this things knowing they were wrong, and thinking I could repent some day.- after two years of living this life, I just couldn´t take it anymore, and went back to church, I knew I had 2 confess the sins but I was ashamed and scared, plus there was another branch pres and I thought" ok I'll wait till they change him" but I couldn´t wait, finally I settled and appointment and confessed, it was embarrassing because he is my ex-bf dad. He was understanding and caring but he said he truly didn´t know what to do, it was the first time someone confessed this type of things (moral transgressions) and he said no to take sacraments for 3 weeks. He never asked anything, so I didn't tell him more, actually I just confessed a few things because he never asked. --

some months after this, I had the opportunity to talk to the mission president, because I want to serve on a mission but I wasnt sure If i still could go, he asked me a lot of things that the BP didn't and said that I could go.

I continued on this path for 6 months, but 1 month ago, I was with my bf and we slipped again (I dont know if it was sex or not)but it was close to.

Now I feel terrible, I dont know how this happened, I have a calling in church, I go every sunday and try really hard to choose the right, except for this incident.

I dont know what I'm supposed to do now, Is it necessary to start all over? it's been a month since that happened but I dont feel any better. but I cant go to the Branch Pres cause he didnt know what to do... and I want to serve on a mission

right now I feel that I hate myself

[jadams_4040]

This might not be the right place to express my concerns, but I don´t have anywhere I can go at the moment or I dont even know WHAT to do. I hope I can get some advice and encouragement as I need it more than ever.

-- some time ago, i stopped going to church, and before I even realised what had happened I ended up doing everything that i was thought was wrong. I never denied the church, but I think that it was worst, I did all this things knowing they were wrong, and thinking I could repent some day.- after two years of living this life, I just couldn´t take it anymore, and went back to church, I knew I had 2 confess the sins but I was ashamed and scared, plus there was another branch pres and I thought" ok I'll wait till they change him" but I couldn´t wait, finally I settled and appointment and confessed, it was embarrassing because he is my ex-bf dad. He was understanding and caring but he said he truly didn´t know what to do, it was the first time someone confessed this type of things (moral transgressions) and he said no to take sacraments for 3 weeks. He never asked anything, so I didn't tell him more, actually I just confessed a few things because he never asked. --

some months after this, I had the opportunity to talk to the mission president, because I want to serve on a mission but I wasnt sure If i still could go, he asked me a lot of things that the BP didn't and said that I could go.

I continued on this path for 6 months, but 1 month ago, I was with my bf and we slipped again (I dont know if it was sex or not)but it was close to.

Now I feel terrible, I dont know how this happened, I have a calling in church, I go every sunday and try really hard to choose the right, except for this incident.

I dont know what I'm supposed to do now, Is it necessary to start all over? it's been a month since that happened but I dont feel any better. but I cant go to the Branch Pres cause he didnt know what to do... and I want to serve on a mission

right now I feel that I hate myself

If it were myself in your shoes {and i have been in the past} I would get on my knees humbly and sincerly with all my heart and soul and ask heavenly father for guidance and forgivness; then also strength to be able to overcome and have the wisdom to know how to stay out of those situations next time; Ask the lord; he can and will help you if you are truely sincere with him.:)

[beefche]

Look, you need to set some boundaries for yourself and your bf. If he will not support you, then get rid of him. You two need to decide what not to do. Some suggestions--don't be alone in the car unless the car is in motion, don't be alone in a room together, spend 5 minutes saying good night at your door, etc.

Go back to your branch president and talk to him. Tell him everything and tell him you want to make this right.

Repentance is a process and you can expect to fail sometimes--but that doesn't excuse a real effort. You need to find out what triggers you to allow yourself to fall, and then avoid that. Good luck.

[wrbeattie]

Glow,

Welcome to humanity, we have all been sent here to overcome the natural man (Mosiah 3:19). Praise the Lord that you feel sorrow and remorse, these are the second step of repentance! (2 Corinthians 7:10) We must know sorrow that we might know joy (2 Nephi 2:23). I am not saying to be happy that we commit sin, but that Heavenly Father and the Savior knew that we would need a Mediator (1 Timothy 2:5). For this reason did the Savior even Jesus Christ suffer for each of our sins that through faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end we could return to our Heavenly Father by the power of the Atonement (3 Nephi 11:11). The sacrament allows us to renew our baptismal covenants. Blessing of strength will come to you as you pray (Alma 34:17-29), read the scriptures (1 Nephi 15:24) and fast (Isaiah 58:6,8-9)and strive to obey the commandments of God. There was only One perfect that was born to this earth, thankfully the rest of us can be made perfect one day through Him. Don't lose hope, pray to the Father in the name of the Son our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as jadams has advised and if the Holy Spirit leads you to see the Branch President then go, he is blessed with the power of discernment, where the Spirit can guide him and can help you. I know you will make a great missionary and you will use this experience to help you do it.

I used a lot of scriptures not because I have them memorized, but because as I study them I gain strength to help me overcome my trials and weaknesses.

May Heavenly Father bless you, may He give you strength, may the Savior wrap His loving arms around you and comfort you. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

[glow_inthe_dark_girl]

thanks for your advices . I really need to hear some Opinions.

I would go to the BP but the first time he seemed kind of ucomfortable and he even said he didn´t know how to handle this, he didn´t have experiend, yes he was helpful because I felt better, but he didn´t know what to say.

and I dont know if I have to start all over again, if going is not like confessing the same for the second time?

I think this is gonna me more difficult for me and the BP so I am confused

my bf supports me but he said it is unecessary to confess this , he was ordained to the melchizedek priesthood two weeks ago. and he tells me not to bring this subject again because he feels God forgave him and he doesnt have to do anythin else, and he doesnt want me to remind him of the past.

???

[Gwen]

if i really felt i could not take this matter to the bishop i would set a meeting with the stake pres. yes he's busy and we should resolve all we can with the bishop but sometimes one can go straight to the stake pres. i've done this before and never been chastised for it. i would explain everything, how the bishop responded and thus your hesitation to go to him again, your discussion with the mission pres, etc.

i agree with the comments to set limits and rules with the bf. if he's right and he's been forgiven then he has nothing to worry about with you seeking the same confirmation with the assistance of the bishop/stake pres if that's what you need. however, i would question if it's a way for him to avoid "trouble" having just been ordained to the melchizedek priesthood.

this statment "I was with my bf and we slipped again (I dont know if it was sex or not)but it was close to" suggests to me that you should discuss this with someone.

[Tarnished]

Yes, you should go back to your BP, and if you don't feel comfortable going to him go to your Stake President. Even if you have repented of a sin committing the same sin again negates what repentance you did before. It is like saying you are sorry for slapping someone and then turning around and slapping them again and saying "Just kidding", does your first apology count for the second slap? Of course not.

When I was dating I had similar problems, I messed up a lot when it came to the law of chastity. I didn’t have sex but I did get close. And I learned that each time I messed up I had to start again. It can be difficult, but if you really want to repent then it must be done. If it were me I would also encourage my bf to go to his bishop and confess as well. Just because he received the priesthood does not make every thing better. It does not magically free him of his sins. Good luck with all of this, it is difficult but I can tell you that it is definitely worth it.

[beefche]

Imy bf supports me but he said it is unecessary to confess this , he was ordained to the melchizedek priesthood two weeks ago. and he tells me not to bring this subject again because he feels God forgave him and he doesnt have to do anythin else, and he doesnt want me to remind him of the past.

???

Whoa! This bf has the Melchezidek Priesthood and he thinks he doesn't have to confess? Ok, now I say you BOTH need to go to the branch president or your stake president. He has some growing up and learning to do as well regarding the oath of covenant of the priesthood and what it means to be worthy.

And I think by his saying that he doesn't want you to talk about it because it reminds him of the past shows he isn't supporting you. In a mature relationship, you should be able to discuss anything with respect and discuss things. Does this mean he doesn't want to talk about boundaries because it is bringing up the past?

[Guest Alana]

I have a feeling you won't feel better until you go and talk to the branch president. As far as him not having experience or knowing what to say, that was a little while ago wasn't it? Nothing wrong with helping him get that experience:) I would be surprised if he didn't do some reading and asking questions since there and might be more prepared this time.

As far as what your bf said, he has absolutely no say in your repentance process. It isn't the same for both of you and I strongly encourage you to talk to your bp again.

Oh other thought... don't let the mistakes erase all the progress and good you've done! You said you did good for 6 months, that's fantastic!!! This one mistake doesn't erase all the good. Yes, you need to repent, but you CAN do it and you'll feel so wonderful and happy and peaceful. I know it's a hard road, but keep it up and the sooner you get on this, the better.

[BenRaines]

It sounds like you live in a part of the world where you have the branch president and then the mission president over him. If uncomfortable with branch president's experience then contact the mission president. It is the mission president's responsibility to train and supervise the branch president.

Your boyfriend is self serving. He wants to consider it, whatever it was, as cleared so he does not have to confess it to anyone, his father, the branch president or the mission president.

I left on my mission many many years ago with some unresolved issues. Talked to my mission president, he had me write my bishop, bishop wrote me and told me to take it to the Lord and to serve faithfully.

Do not procrastinate the day of your repentance.

Go now and tell all to branch president or mission president. Even the most recent and wipe the slate clean. You boyfriend should too but you can't do it for him but you can say who you had the problem with and that will bring up a meeting for him too.

Ben Raines

[will227457]

looks like you are in mexico? yes....having served there in some areas the church is "young" and many branch presidents are unexperienced dealing with the type of issues you have may be presenting him I would calll the stake pres or mission pres and discuss these issues with them

now in regards to what you said "I was with my bf and we slipped again (I dont know if it was sex or not)but it was close to."

my respones to that is sex is sex you either had sex or you didn't, since you are not sure I will assume you didn't

that being the case talk to your stake or mission pres you will over come this in short order and be worthy to go on a mission

oh one more thing.... Dump the boyfriend, he thinks the issue is behind him he has no respect for you or your feelings regarding this and no desire to be a better person, it also seems that when you are with him you fall into temptation

[glow_inthe_dark_girl]

thanks , u all had been very helpful.

I see that most of you tell me that I have to go and talk to the BP or MP about what happened (cant go to the District President because of my dad)

I wasn't sure about it, because I've read before that after confessing a sin there was no need to go and confess it again, I think it was Brigham Young who said it,..

but I guess it's different because this happened again . am I right?

[will227457]

you would be right

[glow_inthe_dark_girl]

Whoa! This bf has the Melchezidek Priesthood and he thinks he doesn't have to confess? Ok, now I say you BOTH need to go to the branch president or your stake president. He has some growing up and learning to do as well regarding the oath of covenant of the priesthood and what it means to be worthy.

And I think by his saying that he doesn't want you to talk about it because it reminds him of the past shows he isn't supporting you. In a mature relationship, you should be able to discuss anything with respect and discuss things. Does this mean he doesn't want to talk about boundaries because it is bringing up the past?

I'd been thinking about this, and I came to the conclusion that it might be true, that he is not really supporting me, and he says that he is been forgiven because he wants to avoid the consequences and because as a melchizedek priesthood holder he is afraid that my dad will find out, cause he is in the district presidency (and the BP can't take decision upon the melchizedk priesthood, or something like that)

anyways, right now Im confused about us, and our future. I want to progress and serve a mission, he says he also wants this but he is not doing anything to make it possible, and his excuse is that his family isn't LDS.

t in the last weeks he is becoming aggresive, he grabs my hand when he gets mad, and he hurts me, he said it wasn´t on purpose but then said I kind of deserved it. I am afraid this will get worts in the future, but I can't understand why he does this . I am trying to b indifferent and he noticed it and now says he is getting depressed because of me

[busymomma]

Whoa-- if he's getting physically and emotionally abusive with you like that, you definitely don't want to continue a serious relationship with your boyfriend. It sounds like he is feeling guilty and upset over your desire to resolve your issues and would rather ignore them. Making you feel guilty and saying you are making him depressed is a red flag, as HE owns his own feelings and responses to what goes on in his life. You do not need to be saddled with someone who is going to make you the scapegoat for their own issues. (I happen to be married to someone who is chronically depressed like that, and although I love him and we work on our relationship, it's no picnic being involved. At least he is not physically abusive.)

Just my two cents!