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Do you think an LDS mother could be happy marrying and moving a distance away from her young adult children. The thought of not being close wrenches my heart. The prospect of having love and a good marriage is pretty enticing, but the compromise in location is hard to cope with. ...None of us would have much money for making very many trips back and forth. ...just wondering if anyone has had any similar experience or words of wisdom.

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I don't have any children so take this as you will. I think anything is possible. I do think a parent can be away from their children and be happy. Sacrifices would be made obviously (no free babysitting, little/no opportunity to attend important/non-important events, etc), but through phone and internet, close relationships can be maintained.

My friend lived away from her parents for nearly 20 years--during which time she lived out of state and out of country and had 5 children. She maintained a close relationship with her mother and sister through that time.

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Of course. In reverse, 18 year olds move away for college all the time. Although the parents miss them terrible, it's ok, because they know that everyone is just moving on with life. My parents live two states away (they moved away, not me) and we miss each other a lot, but we are still able to go on. That is what telephone is for! It's been about 2 years since I've seen them but we're not any less close. I do miss them though, but it's ok.

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Do you think an LDS mother could be happy marrying and moving a distance away from her young adult children. The thought of not being close wrenches my heart. The prospect of having love and a good marriage is pretty enticing, but the compromise in location is hard to cope with. ...None of us would have much money for making very many trips back and forth. ...just wondering if anyone has had any similar experience or words of wisdom.

There is always a nagging parent trait within us in checking up on them as they leave home to live their own lives or as parents, move a distance from them.

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Not the same but similar: I moved 600 miles away from my good friend 9 years ago. And yet we're able to interact daily via all the free online tools. Facebook, instant messanger, twitter, blogs - there have been times where we've interacted more than we ever did while living in the same city.

These things are your friends - as long as you learn a few rules about maintaining privacy and not sticking dangerous personal info out there.

LM

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just curious what does being LDS have to do with it? do non LDS women not miss their children?

in anwser to your question yes you can move on with your life and progress, make it a point to see them on special occasions and plan for it, we have the internet, video conferencing etc...many ways to matain a close relationship....

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Hah... my parents and one brother live LITERALLY half-way around the world. We don't mind the parents living with us for months at a time when they decide to visit and vice versa. Internet is our friend - we got video going even. We get free phone-calls via internet through magic-jack or whatever it is called. I sometimes get a call from my parents in the middle of the night just wondering who won the NBA game... I get emails from my parents daily - sometimes just a forwarded chain email with a hurried "love you, dad". We even have the phone on speaker plus video over the 'net when we're having bday parties or christmas parties or whatever so the parents can hear the happy birthday song and blowing out candles and all that stuff. No, I don't think the distance hurts our relationship at all.

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If your children are doing well as young adults, they should continue to do so. You will miss them ever so much, however, I miss my youngest son and he lives less than 50 miles from me. He has been gone 2 years. You will always be their mom. Nothing can change that. The real question is, do you want to marry and start live over again with a new person? Good luck with your choices.

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Thank you everyone for giving your uplifting comments. My adult children aren't exactly doing all that well; they have their problems and sometimes it's difficult to watch. But I'm actually quite good about not meddling. I love them all dearly and raised them as a single mom, so they have been my life. And I want my grandbabies around me, and for them to grow up knowing me. But you've all given me some great suggestions. Maybe a move could even bring us closer in some ways! Plus I'd be marrying into a nice new family with children and grandbabies too. But that doesn't replace the love we have for our own.

Will#..., you're right, LDS or not doesn't change how a mother feels. I was just thinking it accounted for the mindset of a woman who considers family of the highest importance, that's all. That could be true for a woman of any faith as well.

I think I will just do my best to be open, and trust that Heavenly Father knows what is best for me and my family, and that He will lead me down that path if it is where I should go. Thank you for all the great opinions.

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