What Do I Do Now?


LostSheep
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Hello sir,

LostSheep, I would be cautious about the medication idea. Please consult with a physician carefully before requesting any prescription.

Ensure that your intention is to fix the malady which the medicine is meant to treat, (depression, ADHD). I know that you may be feeling desperate but it is unwise to pursue treatment solely seeking a secondary benefit in your pornography struggle.

Whatever you decide, follow the path that is healthiest for you. I wish you well, LostSheep.

Regards,

Kawazu

Kawazu right discuss with a Physician to make sure its the right thing for you all people are different, just because it is helping me doesnt it will help you, could also make it worse. So if you do deciede PLEASE procede with caution.

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If you are ADD/H, you need to be working on helping yourself with that problemas well. If meds help, use them. If you were diabetic, you would use insulin, if you needed glasses to see, you would wear them, if you needed a hearing aid to hear, you would use that. I hope you find whatever tools you need to make your life better. My son is Aspergers with ADH/D and when he was in school, the meds helped him, now he is not in school, he is off of them. I wish you well. FC

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.....what I found insightful was that he said pornography addiction has little or nothing to do with sex per se and everything to do with endorphins. It's the endorphin release in your brain that you crave, not the shameful pictures of women prostituting themselves.

Sorry if this isn't a lot of help. I see a huge need for help in this area, and my heart goes out to you and other men struggling with this,

What else provides an endorphin release? Maybe a picture of the Savior, or a short family video? Could you possibly discipline yourself to look at one of these every time you get the "itch"? If you did that for several weeks, I wonder if your craving for porn would diminish.

Women also seek that 'endorphin release'. You'd be surprised at how many view porn or simply get off with pics of brad pitt......anyway I doubt a picture if the savior could help here.

But don't bother with the bishop yet. He will only take your recommend away, tell you to fast and pray, and tell his counselors to not call you to anything. You need a shrink to do a 12 step program or other treatment, to learn how to control those cravings and the curiosity, or the release. The sooner the better; its very difficult to live with guilt thats associated to an addiction.

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My response is in agreement with the comment that the addiction is not really about sex. I don't know about the endorphins theory though.

I believe all addictions are really about seeking a "fix" for pain that isn't being dealing with. Getting rid of your computer won't stop you from going to the library or an X-rated business, etc.

The only way a 12-step program will help you, is if you work the steps! When you have truly hit your bottom and are ready to change, the Atonement of your Savior is what can heal you. You have to be ready and willing to go to any length to dig into your past (take your inventory) hand your burdens over to the Lord, and practice trusting in Him every minute to relieve you from the need for a fix. That will take the willingness to put a support system in place and USE it, make a list of alternative actions that help and DO them, reach out to others at any time of risk, and white-knucke it when things get rough. There is no easy way to get through any addiction. But making a decision and sitcking to it, along with using the tools you learn, and the strength available through the Lord, can get you through the difficult times until the easier times become your new habit.

You can be free, but it won't happen automatically for you. It takes work and the grace of God both. Some can do it, and others can't. Which are you?

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My response is in agreement with the comment that the addiction is not really about sex. ..

The only way a 12-step program will help you, is if you work the steps! When you have truly hit your bottom and are ready to change, the Atonement of your Savior is what can heal you. .....

Yes; point is, I believe, that first one needs to do the program to stop or get help from professionals ie psychologist, to stop and then AFTER one has stopped or almost totally stopped, that's when the Atonement can heal. And really for 'porn watching' we don't need to go and confess to a Bishop...his time is better used up with more serious cases like adultery which do need a confession to a bishop.

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And really for 'porn watching' we don't need to go and confess to a Bishop...his time is better used up with more serious cases like adultery which do need a confession to a bishop.

I think this is a very dangerous blanket statement to be making. The general authorities have called pornography an evil. If watching porn is affecting your spirituality at all...I think it's something to talk to your Bishop about.

Edited by pam
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But don't bother with the bishop yet. He will only take your recommend away, tell you to fast and pray, and tell his counselors to not call you to anything.

:confused: What??? Just a little to early in the am down under to think clearly? Heaven forbid a Bishop take steps to ensure that the temple remain undefiled, or that the sacrament is passed only by those whose priesthood is in effect.

and then AFTER one has stopped or almost totally stopped, that's when the Atonement can heal.

Funny, I just read an Apostle say otherwise.

And really for 'porn watching' we don't need to go and confess to a Bishop...his time is better used up with more serious cases like adultery which do need a confession to a bishop.

Whatever. That's some very unsound advice. I would never suggest a person not seek help from a problem that cankers souls. Your downplaying the issue of porn as 'not very serious' is directly contrary to that which has been said by prophets and apostles for the last four decades.

Plainly poor advice Charlyc.

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I would think that most Bishops would disagree that it is unnecessary to discuss this with them. Viewing of pornography is one of those things that should be discussed with Bishop. Yes you may lose your temple recommend for a time. You may not serve in a calling for some time. This is up to the Bishop and how his in influenced by The Lord.

Hiding your sin does not make it go away or make you worthy to attend the temple.

Ben Raines

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could be time you give in.

You can't keep fighting everything. If you give in you'll eventually get bored of porn and quit it.

It's probably because porn is so forbidden is the reason you go for it in the first place.

I hope you're trying to be helpful :P

LostSheep, once you see something you never ever forget it, even if you bury the memory. I'll never forget what my dad told me a few years after our family was sealed in the SL temple. He said when he went in for his endowments every unclean thing he ever saw or heard came into his head. Things he hadn't seen for 20 years or more! I fall into the "better safe than sorry" class of people. If it could hurt you then stay far far away!

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You can't keep fighting everything. If you give in you'll eventually get bored of porn and quit it.

Absolutely not true. Do junkies get bored of drugs eventually? I think you are getting the words "hobby" and "addiction" confused. You might get bored of a hobby and not do it again, but clearly lostsheep is beyond bored of porn, and is absolutely sick of it, but still can't stop looking at it. That is what an addiction is.

It's probably because porn is so forbidden is the reason you go for it in the first place.

This however quite possibly has some degree of truth to it. What is forbidden suddenly becomes more tempting :)

Edited by Mahone
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Didn't read through all the previous posts but I'd recommend getting rid of your internet until you have some better self-discipline and self-control. Also, I don't see why you can't talk to your Bishop regarding just about anything that you feel is putting a damper on your spiritual development as a person.

Best of luck, Lost :]

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Actually, the Atonement CAN heal a soul at ANY point in his or her affliction/addiction. The Atonement is the working power of the Lord, it is the source of miracles, and our gift which the Saviour gives to anyone in need through His loving sacrifice.

It can and does work whenever a person has the faith to use it in their lives for their good. A 12-step program, along with the Atonement, can begin to help an addict to recovery from any starting point, whenever they choose to start using it. For a practicing addict, it may just work as a seed planted for later recovery, or it may be the life-changing inspiration needed to help the person leave his addiction behind.

No one can predict when a person is ready for recovery or when they have hit bottom. But the gift and tools are available equally to anyone who needs them, no matter how progressed or active their addiction may be. That means there is always hope for everyone!

Of course the longer one stays abstinent from their addiction, the more healing they can experience. But recovery isn't required first before the Atonement can begin to work.

And as already stated, porn addiction is certainly a serious problem that should be discussed with a bishop. And a problem like that likely won't go away by itself. It takes desire, work, and committment for recovery. But there is a way, and it can be done.

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Goodness me!!!!!

No wonder yank Bishops are so overworked. I was never bugged that much. I did ask about porn within the context of the Law of Chastity question for recommend renewals, but that was something I added in myself -and was told several times that we had to just read them without adding anything by the way. I also asked the youth sometimes to make sure they knew it was wrong -and that's why I know girls also see porn at times- but no, it isn't a major sin and really only the 'major' sins require a confession to the bishop. But then again I've heard stories of old ladies seeing their bishop for every minor thing -as Kimball wrote in MoF, so I guess you will keep advising "go see your bishop" -poor bloke.

Anyway the real point of this thread was addiction to porn. And on that point he needs to see a professional. Prayer & fasting and yes even the poor overworked bishop may be of some assistance but I'd say your wrong here (above several people), the atonement wont cure him if he doesn't break that addiction first. Nor did Jesus cure that adulteress, probably another addict, she needed to repent fully first and then the atonement could heal her. Same with the son of Alma and many more: first we end or stop the sin, whatever sin it is, then we can be healed by Jesus etc. I'm really surprised that people here suggest otherwise because I thought it to be common knowledge, but hey, maybe your Bishop can help out here!!?? :confused:

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:confused: What??? Just a little to early in the am down under to think clearly? Heaven forbid a Bishop take steps to ensure that the temple remain undefiled, or that the sacrament is passed only by those whose priesthood is in effect.

Plainly poor advice Charlyc.

I guess you wont be needing my advice then.:rolleyes:

But one would be extremely lucky to find a Deacon/Priest who hasn't masturbated during the previous week if not that same weekend but you just can't stop them passing the sacrament for that. The church, and I believe the Lord himself, just aren't that worried about minor sins especially when teens or singles are doing it. Off course we tell them its wrong and to stop and so on but that comes with time and maturity. I believe its because the Lord tries to bless as much as he can and condemn as little as He can. But that's just mho.

Edited by Charlyc
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  • 4 weeks later...
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Charly, I'd say STFU but the implication of that isn't very appropriate. I guess in milder terms I can say shut up. Now. You're making yourself sound like a fool, and you're turning this thread into an opportunity to take out your strange aggression with sexual issues rather than to actually help lostsheep.

Now, to lostsheep- I don't know about the medications. Only YOU can decide if you need those. But PLEASE don't look at them as an "excuse" or something that will make the problem go away for you. They won't. They may aid a problem. But it seems like you don't think you have any problems they'd help.

I think that getting rid of the internet access was a good idea. I briefly had a time where I looked at porn. I was very depressed at the time, so in my case, medication DID help but it wasn't everything. I had to pray, pray, pray A LOT and exercise a lot of self-control. It DOES get better. You WON'T always be labeled an addict. It WILL be a weakness, but you CAN overcome it.

I'd suggest thinking about WHY you look at porn. What void are you trying to fill, or frustration are you relieving? For me, like I said, I was depressed. I didn't directly connect that until it was all "said and done" as it were.

God be with you.

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