Kissing


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OK,i thought i woudl start a topic that would get replays (hopefully thsi wont cause flames or hard feelings)

Ok, something im sure most teenagers deal with, and the church leaders (at a local level as far as i've seen) dont really talk about much (most likely due to that it isn't all black-white liek drugs or forifacation) is kissing. Now, I've seen augements from youth adn adults, some sqyign its ok to kiss seom sayign wait till your married. So my question is, how od yuo feel about it?

Personaly, I feel that kissing is ok if treated with respect. Many youth, members and non-members alike would say that kissing leads to other things, or a commenly used sentance is: "It only started wiht kissing". Now, DO yuo belive that thsi kissing was a pec on the lips, or maybe a few seconds. or somethgin of that nature, or, was it more of the nature were there is heavy use of the toung, pettingm and they are in a secluded area. I hope that your commen sence would say that is the later choice. Now, which one is there still a respect for the other perso begni used? The first senario. Many times, teens wanna push limmits. They wanna see what its like on the other side w/o getting soiled. But there is a problem with this...its much liek quick sand....in fact Ponce De Leon lost seom of his men near Daytona Beach (where i live) bacause they either tried ot get too close to quicksand or didn't see the quicksadn ahead. Now then i am gunna relate thsi with a story of a friend of mine. His name is John (name changed). He adn I have been friends fro about 6 or so years. John, wa sconciderd ugly for a while. Btu with age came good looks. well, in 9th grade, an old schoolmate from Middle School ran into him near hsi house. Her first reaction was "Wow, you got hott" well, they kinda kept in touch. A few weeks later, they ran into eachother again. She failed ot mention that hadn't broken up with her BF liek seh said seh was about to do a week earlier. So, John, thinking that this girl was single, puts soem moves on her. Holdnig hands, cuddling, adn about ti mostly. then at Johns house he kissed her a little. nothgin long ro serious. (eh thought he woudl be ok, both hsi parentd were home, plus hsi sister adn her friend) well, they went backl to the spot they had met up at earlier in the day. Then the heavy makign out began. Nothgin to bad though. Ok, a weekl after that he go's to her party. it ends up John, Alissia (name changed, Her beign the girl of the story) adn Cami, Alissia's friend. Well, Alissia, puts moves on John. They go into serious makign out in Her room, with the door closed. Alissia started on the petting. It got bad. Fortunetly for John, he said eh was uncomfortable with the situation before it involed sexual intercourse. But think, hoe close did he et to the quicksand of sexual tempations. Also, the heartbreak after seh reject a relationship with him because eh had stopped it before it got worst.

IN this story, John passed several safe guards and rele compramised himself. He coud have staye douta her room, gotton involved in passionet kissing. Other things

Other thing about kissing, Is ti is still sacred. When yuo kiss someoen a dare, or to see what its like, it is a sin. not oen that woudl keep you from takign the sacrement, but any act against gods will is a sin ( not quoted exactly but its from "micacle of forgivness"). When you kiss someone, yuo are showign them emotion. Even a peck on the cheek. Holdign hands shows emotion. If that emotin isnt; really there, isn't that lie'n? TO quote an artical in the New era, "what would kisses mean if they are handed otu like cookies?" And that is quite true. Another friend of mine, "Rebecca" has kissed more guys than i know personaly, adn she is only 16. What do ay think those kisses fo logn ago mean?

Now then, say forinstance, you really liek a person. Your over at his/her house, outside on teh frotn pourch, adn yo give her/him a little kiss. Nothign big. I, Personaly, woudl see nothing wrogn wiht it given that:

1. Your nto home alone

2. it doesnt' last more than 10 secounds

3. only kissing, mo touching or tougn

I wouls liek to clearify somethgin though. Shoudl you kiss everyoen yuo have a crush on? No. thats what holdgin hands and cuddlign is for. A kiss, is sacred, and shoudl handled that way. if you have serious feelings, following sertan safeguiards, its ok to KIss and only kiss

I am sure may are reminded of Spencer W. Kemble saying shoudl nto kiss untill married. I have also heard many say its not a godo idea, church leadrs say it. Now, i am nto sayign that a prophet of gosd was wrong, but, many church leaders say that you should be sure that there is a level of chemistry there. Nowk, dotn go makgin otu randomly, but liek on the movie "the rm" near the end, Jared is makign out wiht his i guess GF. Her parents see it, but they let them. Why? because there was no harm in it. Now as a youth thsi isnt; a good idea, but they were both ready to be married. adn in love. Now if you wanna wait till your off your mission (Or untill he is off hsi mission) i fully suport you in that.

In conclusion, I belive that if you follow such safe guirds as Respectign yourself adn teh other person, not beign secluded, not gettgin onver-engaged, keepign it meaninfull, and rememberign who you are, you would be safe.

-Joshy

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:dontknow: There is a fine line between kissing that is good and kissing that is bad. I once had a boyfriend who defined it well: Kissing is a healthy way to express affection and making out is kissing with the intention of going further than kissing. Take it as you may but, with experience in both departments my advise is: just don't make out. I've been in that situation, it's hard to tell some one to stop because everything feels so good. It's also awkward between the two of you when you put and end to making out. The way I see it making out is the door way between showing affection and foreplay. :blush: When you married, sure, make out all the heck you want to. When you're single, keep it at kissing and that's it. :wub:
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I waited until I got married... but thank goodness my husband didn't and knew what he was doing...(IN THE KISSING DEPARTMENT ONLY) LOL

I think a little kissing is good... but no petting and no other stuff.... except holding hands and sitting close with an arm around each other...

You don't want to give all the good stuff away to the wrong person....

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Originally posted by <username>@Oct 21 2005, 08:39 AM

thats what i was tryign to say. kissign isn't as taboo as its made our to be by some people. its limmits and passing them that maek it a bad idea

My Bishop told us not to pet. What's that?

Basically, it means keep your hands to yourself.

In describing moral transgressions, the words that adults use sometimes confuse youth. When I was 16, I remember a Church leader talking to a number of the young men and telling us not to neck or pet when we went on dates. I nodded my head, and then went home to look up "petting" in the dictionary. It said something about affectionate fondling. Then I looked up "fondling" and read something about touching. Then I wondered if that included hand holding or putting my arm around a girl. I think I figured out that it must mean touching certain places other than hands or shoulders, but I was confused.

Petting is a formal word that refers to touching of private areas, particularly breasts or genitals (in the latter case, it's often called "heavy petting"). Necking, another word that confuses some youth, refers to heavy kissing, passionate kissing, or "making out." Necking often leads to petting. Here are the words of President Spencer W. Kimball on the topic, taken from The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, pp. 280-281:

"Necking" and "petting" are wrong. Instead of remaining in the field of simple expressions of affection, some have turned themselves loose to fondling, often called "necking," with its intimate contacts and its passionate kissing. Necking is the younger member of this unholy family. Its bigger sister is called "petting." When the intimacies have reached this stage, they are surely the sins condemned by the Savior.

"Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." (Matthew 5:27-28.)

Who would say that he or she who pets has not become lustful, has not become passionate?...

Too often, young people dismiss their petting with a shrug of their shoulders as a little indiscretion, while admitting that fornication is a base transgression. Too many of them are shocked, or feign to be, when told that what they have done in the name of petting was in reality fornication. The dividing line is a thin, blurry one.... The devil knows how to destroy our young girls and boys. He may not be able to tempt a person to murder or to commit adultery immediately, but he knows that if he can get a boy and a girl to sit in the car late enough after the dance, or to park long enough in the dark at the end of the lane, the best boy and the best girl will finally succumb and fall. He knows that all have a limit to their resistance....

Almost like twins, "petting"-and especially "heavy petting"-and fornication are alike. Also like twins, the one precedes the other, but most of the same characteristics are there. The same passions are aroused and, with but slight difference, similar body contacts are made. And from it are likely to come the same frustrations, sorrows, anguish, and remorse.

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Guest ToasterOfen

Good posts! A while back I actually picked up a book called "Is Kissing Sinful?" by Gran Von Harrison. It is more like a little pamphlet, only about 20 pages long, but it really has some good information in it.

My children are young, but I want to be informed as a parent, and when the time comes, I will talk to them about this, and let them read the book. It was interesting reading some of the posts to find out that others, like myself, weren't sure about the meanings of words like petting and necking. I think in talking with our kids, we need to make sure they understand, but at the same time being careful in what we say and how we say it.

In the book I mentioned, one of the sections is titled "The Lord Sanctions Appropriate Kissing". It states :"Prior to marriage, a kiss "should be clean, decent [and] sexless." President Kimbal compares an appropriate kiss in a dating relationship to the kiss between a father and daughter."

I think that statement says a lot. The following section is "There is more than one kind of kiss" making the distinction between using a kiss to express feelings to someone you feel is special, and a kiss that is expressing affection to the one you plan to marry.

As other posters have said, do you want to hand kisses out like there were cookies? If you do, do they really mean that much?

Anyway, it is great book, and only about $3.00 at Deseret Book or Seagull Book. I think I got mine through Seagull. It really is great reference, and helps to clear up some of that gray area that is hard to talk about.

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Guest &lusername&gt

Sounds like a good book. I got a bunch if stuff for my first post from the New Are adn a book called "How do yuo know when your in love?" its a really good book too, adn its clearifies a lot of miss-idea's about love

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Guest ToasterOfen

Originally posted by <username>@Oct 21 2005, 06:43 PM

Sounds like a good book. I got a bunch if stuff for my first post from the New Are adn a book called "How do yuo know when your in love?" its a really good book too, adn its clearifies a lot of miss-idea's about love

It sounds like you are on the right track, and that you're a great guy. Stay strong and faithful; don't lose sight of your dreams. That mission isn't very far away...you can do it.

You're awesome! :D

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You know, this is an interesting topic to have started up again, I remember keeping one going quite some time ago about a year and half ago. I've come up with new standards personally about kissing, and the person I am dating right now, we have both decided that even though we are dating and together and everything, we won't be exclusive or kiss. Now sure a lot of people say that isn't really much of a relationship, but I couldn't think of anything more I would want out of it. I feel like it would be an uncomfortable situation to be kissing someone, or to get jealous feelings of one another in high school.

Now I myself don't think that maybe on a rare special occasion in high school would it be wrong to give a small kiss, but she holds her standards to waiting to kiss until she is engaged which may not be my belief or anything, but I respect her standards. I think she's smart to hold things as high as she does.

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Guest &lusername&gt

OH i know...i have a HUGE fetish for getign kissed/kissign someoen on the neck shoulders ro ear....also includes biting..ima weird kid lol thought i would have to say that the neck is rather riskey. it really is abotu as powerfull as makign out i've doen both, eh, best not to do it when your single. Also hickeys are a big risk

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Personally I think kisses should be held with a little higher of regard, like they mean more to you. I don't think we can express that much emotion for someone else in high school and should wait until we are at the age of dating to find someone to marry. I think it would just make everything a little more special than things before.

Also, if you just don't kiss then you won't have to go through that list of what if's or scenarios of what's ok and what isn't. I had a sunday school teacher tell me once that if you have to think about whether you should be do something or not while your doing it, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.

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You probably should kiss girls, regardless of guilt, because if you don't, one of the guys that they are dating are going to. And women are weird emotional creatures, and even though they might know you longer, they'll regard you more of friend material and the guy that kissed them as boyfriend/husband material. At least kiss the girls you're attracted to.

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Guest ToasterOfen

Originally posted by DisRuptive1@Oct 29 2005, 10:25 AM

You probably should kiss girls, regardless of guilt, because if you don't, one of the guys that they are dating are going to.  And women are weird emotional creatures, and even though they might know you longer, they'll regard you more of friend material and the guy that kissed them as boyfriend/husband material.  At least kiss the girls you're attracted to.

Has anyone thought about the fact that Herpies is a huge risk (I'm talking about the mouth varity, not genital)? Someone may not have symptoms, but it can still be contagious. The more people you kiss, the more chance you have of catching it.

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Originally posted by DisRuptive1@Oct 29 2005, 10:25 AM

You probably should kiss girls, regardless of guilt, because if you don't, one of the guys that they are dating are going to.  And women are weird emotional creatures, and even though they might know you longer, they'll regard you more of friend material and the guy that kissed them as boyfriend/husband material.  At least kiss the girls you're attracted to.

Kissing would be great if you were looking for husband/wife material or whatever, but it serves no purpose before that time.

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Guest &lusername&gt

its s sign of affecting...if their is a feelign deep adn passionate enouph then there really isn't a problem wiht it. it is ok to do it loosly, no. trust me, i reagret all the girls i've kissed except fro brittany. and even thougth things turned out REALLY bad at the end, (her and i aren't even friends) but i had serious emotions for that girl.....but aperently she didn't feel the same.

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