Sign in to follow this  
yenni

Staying Single cause you're too picky?

Recommended Posts

This general topic of pickiness has come up on two other boards recently. Both were from LDS guys bemoaning that LDS gals were way too picky.

Here are the two complaints from the two boards:

1. LDS women were turning their backs on LDS men who had not gone on a mission because they judged them to be unworthy.

2. LDS women would not go out on dates because they had their eye on an idealized, but possibly nonexistant, Mr. Right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This general topic of pickiness has come up on two other boards recently. Both were from LDS guys bemoaning that LDS gals were way too picky.

Here are the two complaints from the two boards:

1. LDS women were turning their backs on LDS men who had not gone on a mission because they judged them to be unworthy.

2. LDS women would not go out on dates because they had their eye on an idealized, but possibly nonexistant, Mr. Right.

From my experience, there are many LDS women who do both of those things, and I imagine it can be quite frustrating. Some people really are just plain too picky.

To answer where exactly the line on "too picky" can be drawn though can be really difficult. Everyone woman has their own specifics they are looking for. My personal belief is that women should make sure these specifics are broad enough to encompass a number of men, then take the time to figure out which one is the best fit.

Dating as a teenager is mostly done for fun and socializing. As a young (or not so young) adult, every date is a prospective marriage and should be taken seriously. There is nothing wrong with turning down a date if you know it is someone you would never consider marrying, but don't set your expectations so high that there is NO ONE you would consider. Not everyone out there is a Captain Moroni ;) - there's some Teancum's, Lehi's, Helaman's, and Antipus' too (all other leaders from the war chapters of the Book of Mormon).

Some expectations cannot really be described or measured either. These usually have something to do with personality compatability. Little differences shouldn't make or break your decision, but if your personality differences would cause severe clashes or leave you largely unhappy, keep looking for someone else. There's always more fish in the sea.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This general topic of pickiness has come up on two other boards recently. Both were from LDS guys bemoaning that LDS gals were way too picky.

Here are the two complaints from the two boards:

1. LDS women were turning their backs on LDS men who had not gone on a mission because they judged them to be unworthy.

2. LDS women would not go out on dates because they had their eye on an idealized, but possibly nonexistant, Mr. Right.

Okay, some of those things may come across as superficial, because I definitely know the second one is.

But as for the first, perhaps should be considered 'not the fact that the man didn't go on a mission,' but rather that, women are more interested in the reasons why he didn't go in the first place.

I may be different in my opinions than most LDS women, because I tend to prefer probing deeper into causes of actions.

I personally do look more at RMs, because they made a commitment to God to give up 2 years of their life to do His work. On the other hand, the men who decide not to go on missions lack that essential trait.

Yet, I have heard from many of my friends that they leave the interest in a man being an RM just to that level.

I want to take it a step further... because personally, I would rather date a man who had converted and was unable to go on a mission, yet was dedicated to obtaining further light and knowledge from the Lord than a RM whom went on a mission because everyone told him to do it... and hence ended his seeking after the face of the Lord.

So is it wrong that LDS women seek RMs? No, that is if they are trying to find someone that shares the same commitment that they have to the Lord.

If they are seeking RMs only for the sake of the fact that they are RMs, so they can say to the world that their husband is an RM then they are foolish and superficial. Because the point of the mission is not a status symbol, it instead is about their dedication to the Lord.

Edited by dreiko

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this