Seeking general life advice, or maybe I just need to rant.


yenni
 Share

Recommended Posts

The week of Thanksgiving McDonalds (whom my mother has worked hard for all her life) put her on weeks suspension without pay, reason being "she's not friendly enough to the customers" which anyone who knows my mother knows that's a load of crap. She's always on time, has the hardest work ethic I know, etc. So she takes her week off, goes back to work for two days. Then she has a panic attack and is sent to the hospital. She lives with my brother and I. Needless to say, if this was the state working at McD's was going to put her in, we had her quit. Come to find out new management had taken over and they were treating her badly, coercing her to quit.

Ever since my dad left my brother has taken over as the bread winner for the family. He'd pay the rent, mom would pay the bills, and I'd go to school. He's blessed with a great job as a driver for Fed Ex which is a really good company to work for. So when we had her quit, we just had to adjust our budget a bit and he's still able to provide for everything just fine. I've spent my whole Christmas break trying to help her find a new job which is tough considering most places do their hiring well before Christmas. I start school in a few days and now I won't have much time to help her. It's also been tough because her memory is getting very bad and gets lost going to the bank down the street. We got her a GPS for Christmas but every time she uses it, it's like her first time using it again. She's got no skills really cause she never went to school beyond high school and McD's is all she's ever done. I'm trying to remain hopeful she will get a job, but sometimes I feel she may not. Financially it's tight but we're fine. It's more like we'd like for her to have something to do, some social interaction, anything.

My brother and I hang out a lot with our friends. We do do stuff with our mom but it's hard to tell her she can't come along all the time. Even though she's not a member we've been taking her to our home ward instead of attending the singles branch, in hopes of finding her people closer to her age or something.

To top all that off the transmission in my car died today, three days before school starts. Normally I'd pay to fix it up with my financial aid, since it's almost a given that it breaks down every semester, it's nothing I'm not used to. However most of it this term will be going to pay off my credit card debt that is always on hold, cause of how often the car breaks down. Anywho. Mother does have a car which she doesn't mind me using, specially since she's unemployed. Thing is I have been thinking for a few weeks now to let the other car's registration run out in February, cancel the insurance on it and just share the other car with my mom. It'd save us money but it would basically make mom a prisoner in her own home, so I've been debating that. I'll need it almost everyday so that sort of puts a stop to the job hunt unless she's able to find one in walking distance. Right now my family has decided my education is of utmost importance and we'll do whatever necessary to ensure I can continue it, which is why I don't work right now, I do 18 credits a semester every semester and I've got a few more years of full-time school left in hopes that when I'm done I'll be able to get a really good job and actually help support the family. With that thought in mind mom says she doesn't mind giving up the car to me. Still I feel kinda bad and wish it didn't have to be that way...

I don't really know what sort of advice I'm seeking, I feel more like I just needed to rant a bit. Physically she's fine, mentally she's failing and it's hard to watch. I know she's lonely and I spend time with her but I start school like I've said and will hardly be home, and my brother works 12 hour days sometimes. We're trying to make the best of this, I still find myself struggling with it all sometimes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yenni, it sounds like you and your family are really going through a tough time and I think it's completely normal to to vent, and it's healthy.

Your brother sounds amazing. You are lucky to have someone like that holding your family together.

It must be difficult dealing with your own personal issues and mother's problems.

My boyfriend's mother sort of went through what your mother went through, and his brother (an amazing man) held his family together.

My boyfriend's mother, who is a beautiful hearted woman, someone I admire and someone I call a friend, was financially abused by her husband. She had been a stay at home mother to 5 children. My boyfriend's father had been a senior policeman.

Whilst it was prestigious to be a senior ranking police offier's wife, she was very badly financial abused (you can look up what financial abuse is on the internet if you're not sure) and one time I was told he was physcially violent to her (broke her nose). So their marriage ended.

She had no money, 5 children ranging from 2 years old right up to 18 years old. No skills or qualifications.

She went to college and did some qualifications in community work. Meanwhile my boyfriend's older brother, who is a very strong member of the church, worked very very hard whilst studying at the same time to solely support the family and stand in as a father figure to his younger siblings. It was a very big burden for a very young man to take on. My boyfriend considers his older brother more of a father figure than his own father. - Even today

Years on, the mother got some really great jobs with her qualificaionts she gained. Whilst she has endured financial hardships I know her prayers to God have been answered.

2 years ago, my boyfriend's mother suffered discrimmination at work. It was exactly the same situation as your mother. She was made to feel uncomfort and picked on to a point where she was being forced to resign, and she did.

This is actually illegal in Australia. It's is part of the discrimination and harassment Act. You mother probably has a very strong case to go to an equal opportunities board and sue McDonalds, or get compensation for all the financial difficulties it has caused her life.

It is against the law to make someone's job so difficult for them that they feel pressured into resigning.

If she has co workers and former managers who can testify she was a good worker, your mother certainly has a case.

My boyfriend's mother had a very strong case, took it to court, was offered a big lump sum payout from the university she worked for. She was compensated for her financial and emotional hardship caused by her place of employment.

She used that money to fulfil her dream of opening a small women's boutique fashion clothing store in a very nice suburb. She also bought herself a much needed new car.

I can personally see the blessings she has received. She has had a very very hard life (ever since she was a child). She is a really good person who has always been generous to everyone all throughout her life. Even today, she continues to be generous with what ever she has.

I think it's definitely important for you to make sure you can to university and do what you can to go there. If it means you need to use your mother's car and there is no option, then there is no other option other than to not go to university.

You mother needs to follow up this issue with her job at McDonalds. She was unfairly treated and this is definitely a legal issue she can be compensated for.

I would recommend she undertakes some sort of training or education to help her get a new job. To get a blessing to help her learn and succeed in this.

If her memory is seriously failing her, she might want to see a doctor. There might be a medical reason for it, and might mean she has a legitimite medical reason for being unable to work or learn.

Don't give up on your situation. Whilst things are really hard for you, I know have seen through people I love that situations seem impossible but, if you keep God in your life ask him for help, he will help you.

Other suggestion for the car thing for you: car pool with someone in your area? Maybe put up an ad at your university for car pooling. I'm sure there are university students out there who might want to halve fuel costs.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share