chitchat Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 I asked what people would love in a good mother-in-law in another thread and I appreciate all the good thoughts there. There is a lot of wisdom being shared. Then, I realized that good relationships are two-way with mutual responsibilities, acts of kindness, etc. And I wondered what you would describe as a good daughter-in-law? In other words, what would a good daughter-in-law be like? What would she try to say, do or not do? Thanks for sharing. This gives good food for thought! :) (Btw, for anyone wondering why I'm asking these questions, I do not yet have a daughter-in-law, but I've been giving lots of thought to it since I've read so many horror stories on the subject. I hope to have a good relationship one day with whomever my son eventually marries (no one in the picture yet), but to some degree it will depend on whether the woman he marries values the relationship also. It takes two motivated people in order to have a good relationship. I've noted that a lot of DIL's really hate their MIL's with purple passion and it's just so sad. I heard of one study where they found that a lot of DILs tend to treat their MILs similar to the way they treated their own moms. In other words, if they had tension with their own mothers, they tended to also have tension with their MILs. Not in all cases, but in many. My mother-in-law hated my guts unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried to get along with her. People are complex. Do I get the Understatement of the Year Award for that comment?! :)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AELK Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 A good daughter-in-law loves your son more than you do. Wants for his happiness above her own. Beyond that a good daughter-in-law loves her husband's parents and likes being with them, calls them every Sunday just to chat. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 (edited) A good daughter-in-law will respect the relationship that her husband and his mother has. She will need to remember that there is a long history there that does not include her. A good daughter-in-law will let her husband take care of his relationship (good or bad) with his mother without her getting in the way - most especially in a rocky relationship, not being there to "egg it on" - even to stand aside and not take sides. A good daughter-in-law will love his mother-in-law, especially because her mother-in-law is the reason that she has a wonderful husband. A good daugther-in-law will not compete for her husband's affection with her mother-in-law. A husband and wife relationship is different from a mother and son relationship and both can co-exist with equal fervor. A good daughter-in-law will respect the traditions of her husband's family just as much as she respects her own family's traditions. It should not be a battle on who to spend holidays with. If there is a conflict between family's traditions, it is better to start their own family tradition than fight over which in-law gets to have which holiday. A good daughter-in-law will not forget her mother-in-law's birthday. Edited January 17, 2010 by anatess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 Hmmm.....do you have to get the approval of the MIL to be a good DIL??????????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitchat Posted January 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2010 I think God's approval will suffice, but your sense of humor is clever. What beautiful thoughts are shared here. I hope more will follow on both threads as this is enlightening to me. The coming together of hearts is wonderful and who knows who might read these threads and be strengthened by them. I hope that's the result. Keep the thoughts coming! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dreiko Posted January 18, 2010 Report Share Posted January 18, 2010 A good daughter-in-law: Someone who wants to be part of your family. Who is friendly and warm, and polite. Who tries to learn the traditions of your family, even though she doesn't have to adopt them. Who is appreciative and wants her children to love you Who doesn't talk bad about you to your son Who is not selfish and supports your son in his dreams. Yet, the biggest things that a good daughter-in-law can do are more geared towards her treatment of your son. Those are the most important: treats him with love, treats their kids with love, admires and honors him, encourages him to be the best he can be, and makes him feel like he can achieve anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mirancs8 Posted January 18, 2010 Report Share Posted January 18, 2010 A great daughter-in-law is someone who loves your son with all her heart. She acclimates herself into your family with ease and keeps respectful of the relationship her husband has with his mother. A mother has such a huge role many times in a son life and the daughter-in-law needs to be mindful of that. A great daughter-in-law will treat your son with respect and NEVER belittle him especially in front of others. A great daughter-in-law will raise their children with the highest respect for the in-laws by setting an example with her own behavior. A great daughter-in-law will keep the home warm and loving for your son, and focus on being the best wife and mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mormonwifey Posted May 18, 2010 Report Share Posted May 18, 2010 Chitchat, I have a daughter in law,who I try to be there for love,respect and cherish,although sometimes it is hard.A daughter in law should love your son as much or more than you do,love you,cherish the family and want to be around you. Since the day my daughter in law came into my life,I have tried so hard to be great towards her,show how much I care and everything.I thought we had a great relationship.My son and her moved to be with my hubby and me in 2008 right after one of my grand children were born.I thought things were going great,until they told me they were going to visit her family for a week.Then once they got there I was told by many people they were staying there.Then they called to tell me they were coming to get their and the babies stuff.This broke my heart,I cried for weeks.She said she wanted to be near her family,but not once have they came to visit us since they left (march 10th 2009).They know we cant make the trip because my husband was hurt on the job and is under doctors care for his back and legs.They have made trips to Florida,going right through this town and didn't stop to see us for a few hours.Now my youngest grand child was born in april of this year and I am yet to see her,but they are planning a trip to disney world next month and again says they can't stop to see us. I don't know why it's like this,I have treated her ike my own daughter.I think her family is talking bad about me,but that is my son and my grand children.I love her,my son and grand children and should not be an after thught. So a daughter in law should want to be with the whole family,not act like your family does not exist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.