Question :)

[Laureltree]

I had this question asked to me recently lol

Here's a question to the guys...gals can respond too...

Why is it men want children, but none of the responsibility......? ? ?

Why is it that woman can handle the house , children, and working...? ? ?

When men are asked they already have too much on there plate.....

Cant men multitask ? ? ?

Some of the answers we got back were funny as heck....

My favorite was....I don't remember my wife saying she needed help during the game. lol

[Misshalfway]

For the record, I know many men who want the responsibility and shoulder it with grace and equity.

And that I also know MANY irresponsible, self centered wives and mothers.

I often think that men and women who are in traditional roles sometimes really misunderstand each other. I would argue that its not a flaw that men organize tasks differently than women. I would also argue that it IS multitasking to manage life and relationships at the office only to shift gears at 5:00p to becoming husband and daddy.

(you were prolly trying to be more light hearted than this response, and its ok to laugh at ourselves but it feels a little unfairly weighted.)

[Dravin]

Why is it men want children, but none of the responsibility......? ? ?

Not being one of them, a man who wants children but none of the responsibility, I don't know. Though it should be noted that just as cleaning up vomit is a responsibility of having children, so is holding a job and providing them the necessities of life. Both are needed aspects. And no, the fact that Daddy has a job does not excuse him from the domestic responsibilities.

Why is it that woman can handle the house , children, and working...? ? ?

Do you mean to imply that men can't? Else the question just seems weird. To answer the question as asked:

Because they've learned the skills and use them?

To answer the question as implied:

They can, for the same reasons women can.

When men are asked they already have too much on there plate.....

That's a statement not a question.

Cant men multitask ? ? ?

One person's multitasking is another person's divided and ineffective spreading of attention. You can't really multi-task unless one or more of the activities have reach the point where no thought is applied, such as driving and talking at the same time. However, when such isn't the case the tasks suffer from the divided attention as adequate attention isn't being devoted to both. For instance, when I first learned to drive I didn't like to talk much while doing so, same with listening to the radio. It divided my attention and the radio was just noise and the driving was worse. Now I'm a more confident (notice I didn't say skilled ) driver and it doesn't bother me.

Anyway, I've heard about the multitasking tendency of women being detrimental as it leads to increased stress. You're taking 5 problems on at one instead of taking them on one at a time. Now admittedly some multitasking is necessary. When I was watching my nephews I couldn't completely forget about dinner, or completely forget about the kids, both required attention. But multitasking when things could be handled one at a time seems inefficient to my male mind.

My favorite was....I don't remember my wife saying she needed help during the game. lol

Is it really surprising that when something has someone's undivided attention that other stimuli sometimes fail to register? I've known both men and women who, when engaged in a good book, it seems they won't notice anything short of a house fire or being shaken or shouted at.

Edited January 29, 2010 by Dravin

[Laureltree]

Misshalfway..I wasn't discounting what men do, or woman.. just asking thoughts :).. simply posting a question and comment that was made to me. I know my husband would be more than will to clean up spit up, change a diaper, throw a load of laundry in etc....My opinion on the wives and husbands we tend to hear complaints from, I find its something they didn't discuss before marriage...They each had two separate ideas of what rolls would actually take place.

Some people are brought up in rolls that define what woman do and men do....My husband and I share responsibilities, but I also make sure he finds time for himself & hobbies. It was interesting to me when the statement was made to me.....I thought gosh I'd never had that issue.....My souse and I are a team....I do see many men and woman like you presented, where one or the other seems to unload on the other person.

My favorite response is truly the guy with the football game.....He wasn't trying to ignore his wife, nor was he ignoring his responsibilities, he was simply relaxing and shutting off the world around him. I think sometimes we mistake what one individual is doing or saying because we all play a part of the here and now roll when we want something done.... I think if my husband and I didn't have this conversation early on to see how each other wanted thing to be..well it could have cause a problem.

But this question does arise often in home, and most often its nothing to do with whats not getting done...After this conversation and posting this on another website, I asked my friend to read 5 love languages. Really good book by the way :) We did a girls night out a few weeks after, and the difference in the marriage was awesome.

It was no longer he doesn't do laundry... She doesn't pick up.....it was two people in love working together :)

[WmLee]

At first I thought you answered the question in your question. After further reflection I simply have to respond. You refer to “men” and group us all together. A poor mistake. As some men should have surgery so as to never father a child, I have seen a few women who should have the tubes snipped.

I worked a ten hour day, came home and took over the kids so mom could rest. I cook a LARGE family dinner on Sunday, dinner on Monday through Thursday (now the little one are YSA Friday and Saturday are “pick your own” days.

Last week I went to the store to get a few things my wife and the girls needed. They wrote it down so I would get the right stuff. As I am picking the right box, the right brand on the ladies isle I hear a female voice, “Hi Brother _____”. I look up and found a lady with two kids in tow, (10 or 12 years of age) all smiling at me. I have no idea who they are, must be someone I’ve not met yet though they know me. All I did know was that was NOT my isle!!

LauralTree, don’t EVEN go there! Perhaps if more women with that sort of question had married a real man we wouldn’t read this sort of thing!! :)

[hordak]

"Your brush is too broad", says the man feeding the infant, planning the dinner, wondering if he can make it to the bank in time after getting his daughter from the bus stop ,"enjoying" single fatherhood as his wife advances her career 5 states away, ecstatic in the fact the 4 months she's been gone will be over shortly.

[havejoy]

I'm married to a man who cannot multitask. It's just the way his brain is wired. What he can do though is almost everything, only one thing at a time, but do it really well. I call him a jack-of-all-trades and master-of-many.

[Bini]

My husband is not proficient at multitasking BUT he's a hard worker. The way he functions, is to complete one job first and then tackle the next. He gets very frustrated with me when I try to have him juggle two or three different things. I notice things are done better when he does things his way (one thing at a time) as opposed to my way (ten things all at once). Having said all that, my husband is more than willing to do the chores around the house that are typically his chores and any of my chores that I'm just too tired to do or need a break.

And when it comes to kids, which, we don't have yet. I can already tell that he's going to be Mister Mum and have both feet in when it comes to parenting. Out of the two of us, I'm more likely to have a mental breakdown before he even breaks a sweat. He's just a lot more patient than I am all together and I'm a lot more high-strung.

[Jamie123]

You refer to “men” and group us all together. A poor mistake.

Indeed - it's sometimes referred to as the "ecological fallacy".

A good example of this is the feminist who says "Women don't lie about rape" and thus infers that all rape accusations are true. When it's pointed out that some women have been proven to have lied, the feminist replies "Just a few isolated examples!"

What the feminist fails to see is that her argument works just as well the other way: Her opponent could just as easily say "Men don't commit rape." While the vast majority of women would (I hope) never dream of falsely crying rape, the vast majority of men would (I hope) never dream of committing it.

Both the rapist and the false-rape-accuser are atypical of the groups to which they belong, so the general characteristics of those groups are not really very informative.

Edited January 30, 2010 by Jamie123

[Jamie123]

On a lighter note, I've just realised I've been committing the ecological falacy myself in reference to BMW drivers. Excuse me while I go and flagellate myself!

[talisyn]

*sigh* I was a security guard working 11pm-7am with a 2 year old child and a husband who told me multiple times I should be able to work full time, take care of child, keep house spotless, and make a good dinner any time I asked him to do anything around the house. Because that's what his mom did.

Edit: forgot to add that my ex was unemployed for the duration of our marriage

Edited January 31, 2010 by talisyn

[miztrniceguy]

I am much more familiar with the use of the dishwasher,washing machine, dryer and vacuum than my wife.

No, I am not complaining. You do not know what goes on behind closed doors if it is not your door.

[Laureltree]

I enjoyed reading everyones thought on my friends question to me....Hopefully if you read it with an open mind you noticed that lol :)

It was interesting reading everyones answers...Although I dont believe men or woman are more able that the other...I prefer to think we work better as a team, we balance each other out in the relationship. I agree there are some men and woman out there that may actually act like how my friends said..However its only 2% of the population. Most couples are like my husband and I and do everything within a team effort:)

I do think woman can be good multitaskers, however I know my sweetheart can carry a baby on his hip, make a meal and help my 7 yr old with home work :)

[deseretgov]

My favorite response is from George Lopez.

"My day is like this, I have to go to work and then come home to a list of chores."

"My wife's day: She makes the list of chores!"

Not an exact quote, but I think it's so funny.

But seriously, I agree a fathers work outside the home does not exclude him from domestic work. When I get home from work all I want to do is lay down and take a nap. But all my wife wants to do is have me hold the baby. That's when it is time to take responsibility for you actions and do you job. You have to put yourself aside and think of others, your wife and child(ren).

[Blackmarch]

I had this question asked to me recently lol

Here's a question to the guys...gals can respond too...

Why is it men want children, but none of the responsibility......? ? ?

Why is it that woman can handle the house , children, and working...? ? ?

When men are asked they already have too much on there plate.....

That's not my dad, and Ihope that won't be me.

Cant men multitask ? ? ?

nope- it's genetic.