Heart Attacks and service

[annamaureen]

This is kind of a random thread, but bear with me. This has been bugging me for a long time.

Back when I was in Young Womens, the leaders' idea of "service" was to do Heart Attacks. (For those of you unfamiliar with this, it basically involves cutting out paper hearts and plastering them all over someone's door or car.) It was also done in my singles' ward.

My family and I have been heart attacked several times over the years, and while we appreciated the sentiment, it only created work for us. We had to pull off all the hearts, scrape the tape off our door and cars, and even take one car to the car wash because the YW had written on it and it was too difficult to scrub off on our own. A friend of mine once got a bunch of forks stuck in her yard in a heart shape - what a hassle.

Maybe this sounds "grinchy" of me. But perhaps instead of Heart Attacks and similar things, there could be an activity that promotes real service. Paper hearts don't really help anyone. Which leads me to my next thought - in my experience throughout YW and Relief Society, everyone's idea of "service" is to bake cookies, make cute notes, something like that. But is this really service? It's good intentioned, and fun for us to do, and might give the receiver some momentary pleasure... but does it really help? The men go mow lawns and shovel snow. Can't we women go help the elderly and infirm clean house, or spend a few hours with a new mother instead of just dumping a casserole at her door?

Obviously this is just my experience, and I can't say what everyone else does in their wards.

Edited February 17, 2010 by annamaureen

[Nikkie85]

I was shocked to find out all the yards and cars my husband covered in toilet paper as a youth. I always considered this a cruel thing to do but he said it was something the YM and YW did for fun! I would be pretty upset if this happened to my yard and I would have to be the one to come and clean it up.

For me personally I love the cute notes and cookies but I have never really been in true in need of service either. Recently a good friend had her fourth baby and a group of us from the Church had dinners taken over every night for about two weeks. I think each situation is different and every person may respond to your help differently. I know my friend preferred us to drop off and leave since she had so much going on and felt like she would have to "entertain" us if we stayed around. I think if you feel that more service needs to be done in your ward you would be great person to start it. I think women are just as capable as men to go out and mow lawns and visit with the elderly. But, I also think the women are the ones at home watching the children while the men go out and do these things.

[Truegrits]

I have been in the YW presidency. I have never heard of this "Heart Attack" so-called service. We did bake some cookies, I confess. We also cleaned sisters homes, took the sisters without cars to the grocery store, we raked and cleaned several yards, we did errands for the elderly, sick, disabled. We visited the handicapped sisters unable to get out to church easily.

My son is in YM. I would be very upset if he, as part of the YM, did either of those "activities." I would have to question the YM & YW leaders that suggested/allowed this.

[Dravin]

I know I'm a guy. But the cutesy stuff* is service, I think it's just a question of good, better, best.

* Not sure heart attack is, but baking cookies, goodie baskets and the like.

[Gwen]

we did heart attacks and tp (not toilet paper but little cut out tp's with notes on them) and things of that nature but never as a service project.

one time my vt's called at the last min, "can we come visit you in 10 min".... ummmm (i hate that). lol i had a sofa covered in clean laundry i was trying to get put away so there was no where to sit. i told them they could come if they helped fold laundry. "oh sure, no problem, we'll be right over"..... that was the shortest vt visit i've ever had, i think they folded like 4 towels. lol i must say though, they are great cooks i don't mind the meals.

[Jenamarie]

When we did "heart attacks" in YW's (both when I was a youth and when I was a leader) there was always a purpose behind it. Like a few years ago when one of the girls in our ward had to go into the hospital for some surgury and was really nervous about being "knocked out" (put under). We "heart attacked" her front door the night before the surgury with paper hearts that had messages of encouragement and good luck wishes written on them. We heard from her mom later that she *did* appreciate it.

I hate the "crafty service" things too though. I'm SO SO glad the ward I live in now doesn't have the unspoken expectation that VT'ers MUST show up with some cutsie hand-made fridge magnet. It got pretty crazy in the ward I grew up in, and for some women that was the reason they DIDN'T go VT'ing, because they weren't "crafty".

[Mahone]

Lol, sounds considerably more like a prank than any kind of service. I've been involved in things like this, except we usually use clingfilm and cream etc. I have some pictures on my phone of examples, but due to my friends they might not be suitable for this board.

[MarginOfError]

Maybe I'm a stick in the mud, but I really think service ought to produce some kind of measurable benefit. Moral support, such as the heart attacks, seems like the kind of thing you do because you're a friend. Under the right circumstances, I understand that it can be appreciated, but I wouldn't call it service.

[Maureen]

I was shocked to find out all the yards and cars my husband covered in toilet paper as a youth. I always considered this a cruel thing to do but he said it was something the YM and YW did for fun! I would be pretty upset if this happened to my yard and I would have to be the one to come and clean it up....

Back in the '70's TP'ing was the fun thing to do. I loved doing it and getting TP'd. It usually meant others were thinking of you. Also, in the '70's TP came in a variety of colours, so the final job was always a beautiful sight to behold.

The day of my gift opening (after the wedding), I had parked my car in a different neighborhood (got a ride to my parent's house ) and couldn't quite remember the exact avenue it was parked on. So my friend would slowly stop at each intersection to see if I could see my car. Low and behold, I spied TP blowing in the wind and knew that that was the correct block. If it wasn't for that TP I might still be searching. :)

M.

Edited February 18, 2010 by Maureen

[sensibility]

I agree. Most of the Church service projects I've been involved in have been chosen for how enjoyable/social it would be to render the service. I especially remember one year at EFY where we coloured car mats for orphanages -- I'm sure they made some little kids happy, but I can't help but feel that with the thousand or so hours of manpower we had that afternoon, we could have done something a little more solid. I don't know -- maybe I'm wrong.

I do have fond(?) memories of one year of girl's camp, though -- the leaders wanted us to do some sort of service project for the people who ran the campground we were using. So they asked what we could do to be of service and got back the prompt answer: we could clear some trees.

The poor leaders tried to find another project, explaining that we were a group of teenage girls, but that was the only thing the campground wanted done. So we cleared trees. I still remember watching tiny little Beehives struggling to drag trees (small trees, obviously!) along the ground. It wasn't a popular service project among the girls, but it was a real service.

I think, especially in youth, it can be difficult to coordinate a decent service project during normal weekly activities. You only have an hour and a half; if you want to go to someone's house, you have to coordinate transport and get parents' permission for that. If the project sounds too very boring, some youth definitely won't show up. You still have a pretty small budget to work with . . . I don't know. It's difficult.

But I've noticed the same thing, and I agree completely. Though if anyone wanted to bring me cookies, I certainly wouldn't object. Mmmm, cookies . . .

[RachelleDrew]

I wouldn't mind them heart attacking my door or something....but if anyone ever put tape on my car i'm pretty certain I would come unglued.

I had a talk with some of the missionaries around here about something similar. They were leaving contact cards with pictures of Jesus or the temple on people's windshields, tucked into their wipers. This is a nice idea in theory, but i've had the ink on those things melt, and dribble down onto my paint. It makes a wonderful glue that sticks the cards right onto your vehicle, and there is no getting them off without taking some of the car's paint with it. *facepalm*

The YW/YM leaders need to be careful with stuff like that. It can damage the owner's property..

[WillowTheWhisp]

It sounds more like a cruel prank to me than a service project and I would not be happy if someone's idea of service caused me a lot of unnecessary extra work.I have never come across this heart attacking idea here and certainly hopeit never catches on.

Maybe OK to do to each other amongst friends but certainly not to older ward members or those with busy and hectic lives.

[mightynancy]

The best service I ever got from a Visiting Teacher was when she took me to a blues concert (Derek Trucks! Mmmmm!). I was living in a small apartment with two small children and a husband who worked ALL the time. I so needed it, and I cherish it to this day (9 years later!). Thanks, Monique R., if you happen to read this!

I think the heart thing is cute for girls to do to one another, but I'd never have my YW do that to an adult. My current ward is short on the cutesy and long on the for-real, which is lucky.

[Iggy]

The first year after I left my husband, the YW Heart Attacked me. My front door was completely covered. They used that tacky gum to put the hearts and ribbon on the door. It was real easy to remove and never left any marks.

I still have all of the tacky gum too- I use it all the time to put papers on my walls.

It is unfortunate that the YW Leaders didn't think ahead regarding the tape, and strongly suggest to the YW that they use the tacky gum.

That year I was the YW's project- because I was newly separated, and struggling. Having them wash the windows of my house, bring me an apple, orange, banana and a lemon every third week was such a sweet blessing.

Sometimes a couple of the girls would show up and ask if I wanted to go to the movies. They treated me!!

If you are really upset over the tape- then tell the YW President, and suggest that they use something that is easy to get off and doesn't leave marks or require labor to clean up. If she doesn't know it is upsetting, how can she direct the girls into doing a bit better service??

They are doing this out of love- not for malicious vandalism.

[Guest Alana]

Someone 'dumping' a casserole on me is service! I'm not that into having people over that I don't know that well. Like, even if I had a new baby, if someone I knew from the ward but wasn't super good friends with, was coming over I'd want to clean first. Then again, my house is never clean:P Oh, and it's true service when the casserole comes in a disposable dish.

[Wingnut]

The first year after I left my husband, the YW Heart Attacked me. My front door was completely covered. They used that tacky gum to put the hearts and ribbon on the door. It was real easy to remove and never left any marks.

I still have all of the tacky gum too- I use it all the time to put papers on my walls.

It is unfortunate that the YW Leaders didn't think ahead regarding the tape, and strongly suggest to the YW that they use the tacky gum.

That year I was the YW's project- because I was newly separated, and struggling. Having them wash the windows of my house, bring me an apple, orange, banana and a lemon every third week was such a sweet blessing.

Sometimes a couple of the girls would show up and ask if I wanted to go to the movies. They treated me!!

If you are really upset over the tape- then tell the YW President, and suggest that they use something that is easy to get off and doesn't leave marks or require labor to clean up. If she doesn't know it is upsetting, how can she direct the girls into doing a bit better service??

They are doing this out of love- not for malicious vandalism.

I'm really glad that it was a positive experience for you. Personally, I would prefer to have masking tape. I hate that tacky gummy stuff...usually it's colored and that leaves residue. It can be hard to find white. I think the OP's point, though, wasn't about tape, but rather that sticking a bunch of paper hearts on someone's door (that they have to clean up later) can hardly be called a service project, much less an effective one. In your case though, it sounds like that was only the beginning, and the YW really took to heart the idea of bearing one another's burdens.

Oh, and it's true service when the casserole comes in a disposable dish.

My mom always taught me that you should never return a dish empty. If that's the case, I would definitely have to agree with you on this.

[havejoy]

The only heart attacks I've heard about in my ward have been on the Bishop's door at church.

As far as other service projects go, when I was in YW as a Mia Maid Leader we got together one night at my house and the 7 girls made 140 meat loafs in those small Al+ pans. I baked them that week and put them in my freezer and the next several weeks we delivered them to families who were going to have babies soon, families who had someone who had either had or was about to have surgery, families of the girls who were inactive and to some of the elderly single women in our ward. We saved some for the missionaries too.

One night we made purses out of bandanas and took them to the women's shelter.

One night I had gotten some children's books from the library and borrowed some tape recorders. The girls each went into a separate room at the church and spent an hour reading these books aloud and taping themselves. We then took the tapes to the children's wing at the local hospital.

There are so many real service opportunities that can be done that TPing or forking a yard are just silly.