Please help!

[truetothefaith]

I have 2 questions.

1) Has any man on here delt with a pornography addiction and been able to overcome that addiction? I'd really love some insight from you!

2) Has anyone been married to an excommunicated member who was actively trying to get back into the church? I'd really like to hear your reasons for staying and if you have any regrets!

Thanks everyone!

[marts1]

Before I became a member at the age of 23 my favourite thing to do had to do with porn. As thier are no withdrawl symptoms like you would get from tobacco or drugs, I would not call it an addiction. It takes all of your effort to get over this nasty habit, but after all you can do, God will bless you to be rid of it. You will find as time goes by the memories and feelings fade into nothingness.

[rameumptom]

Go to the Church's Addiction Recovery Website, for guidance, download of their manual, and locations of ARP programs. I assist on occasion with the program in our area, and it is a wonderful, discreet and non-judgmental program.

[JudoMinja]

I'm not a man, but I had a pornography addiction and I was able to overcome it. There are many tools out there to help with overcoming addictions, and remeumptoms is a good one. Mainly, what finally helped me the most was a simple determination to be rid of it. I was willing to do whatever it took to stop the addiction. I set rules for myself, creating barriers that would keep me from giving in to the temptation, and once I had it under control I slowly lowered those barriers to an area that felt comfortable.

As far as staying with an excommunicated member goes, I've never had to deal with that. I left an abusive husband who had not yet been excommunicated but was probably close to being so- he's now left the church on his own and has no interest in coming back. However, I do have some experience with excommunication. My brother has been, but he doesn't seem to care about working toward repentance. I've known others that have been and HAVE worked toward repentance and rebaptism. I think if someone is honestly putting in the effort, they need all the help and support they can get. Even if they aren't putting in the effort, it is still important to be loving and supporting. What matters is not where you are on the path, but which direction you are going.

[marts1]

I remember the addiction to tobacco was much harder to overcome than any other. The elders quorum pres. was inspired to ask if I wanted a priesthood blessing to help me. Of course I said yes and not long after the blessing I was blessed with no craving or desire to smoke for 3 days. The cravings came back but I was strong enough to resist after those 3 days.

[B0rnAgainLDS]

I am a man, and I have been sober 53 days today from pornography addiction. I am going to recovery meetings with my wife now (started on my own), we are counselling with the bishop and a professional therapist. I have never felt better in my life, I feel the savior with His arms around me.

"The scriptures speak of [the Lord's] arms being open, extended, stretched out, and encircling. They are described as mighty and holy, arms of mercy, arms of safety, arms of love, 'lengthened out all the day long' (2 Nephi 28:32)."

Neil L. Andersen, "Repent . . . That I May Heal You," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 40

I was near suicide. One of my best friends decided suddenly to quit and has never gone back to it in over 2 and a half years. We knew each other, but didn't know about each other's addiction until we ran into each other at the addiction recovery meeting.

I read your posts, truetothefaith and I have a great deal of respect for your willingness to forgive. I hurt my wife so much breaking the news to her, and later doing a full disclosure confession of everything I've ever been involved in. But I have hope for our relationship. I love her with all my heart and will never go back to that smut! Men have slips. They have relapses. It is common, but they must always tell their bishop and wife immediately. Accountability is essential.

I have been journaling my progress here. Be patient with him and love him.

To answer your 2nd question, Gerald Curtis was excommunicated and his wife stayed with him. They both write about it in their book, The Worth of Every Soul

Edited March 29, 2010 by B0rnAgainLDS

[truetothefaith]

Thank you so much BornAgainLDS. Satan is working on me too and I have days where I have questions. My husband's addiction has been hard on me. But I think we have grown closer through it. Right now it doesn't look like he will be getting excommunicated which I think would be a relief to anyone. He has been sober for months now and I know he is trying and that he loves me. I have thought of counciling but that costs money we don't have, being poor starving college students. I know he can shake this. Thank you for your prayers. I know they have helped.