internet dating


jdawg
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So I'm a 27 yr old student on the east coast where the dating prospects are very slim. Yes there are are sisters in the branch but none of which I am interested in dating. I will be in school out here for another 2 years and would like to have an opportunity to settle down and get married. Frankly I'd say I lack faith that something will/can work out when i'm not in a situation where i can really even date. I've thought about the internet dating to try and broaden my horizons. What are some thoughts? i know elder oaks said its not a good thing so i'm torn.

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Pres. Hinckley also had some pretty strong words against it.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth

And while I speak of such matters I want to give emphasis again to the matter of pornography. It has become a $10 billion industry in the United States, where a few men grow rich at the expense of thousands upon thousands who are their victims. Stay away from it. It is exciting, but it will destroy you. It will warp your senses. It will build within you an appetite that you will do anything to appease. And don’t try to create associations through the Internet and chat rooms. They can lead you down into the very abyss of sorrow and bitterness.

My only advice is to just live life the best you can rather than to be "looking" for someone. I never found anyone until I stopped looking. Weird huh?

Edited by WindRiver
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Just curious, what is wrong with the single sisters in your area?

I get the impression that you are not local to where you are attending school. Is this correct?

Where I went to college, finding LDS people to date wasn't dificult but finding girls that would go out with me was another matter. Without knowing more about your expectations, I can't give any more decent advice.

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hey man, i feel ya..i've been a paying memver of a few sites over the last couple years...granted i've been striking out..but have made a few decent freinds...slim pickins in my part of the world...where i'm at now more so than where i call home....but yeah...i have acouple sets of freinds married thru LDS Planet... and have made soem really good freinds thru eHarmony...

It ain't cheap....but so far its been interestign

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Well to be frank about it I guess I don't find them attractive. I don't have a lot in common with them. I think they are cool but on the level of interest its just not there by any stretch of the imagination. Our branch consists of maybe 30 people total.

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Pres. Hinckley also had some pretty strong words against it.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - A Prophet’s Counsel and Prayer for Youth

And while I speak of such matters I want to give emphasis again to the matter of pornography. It has become a $10 billion industry in the United States, where a few men grow rich at the expense of thousands upon thousands who are their victims. Stay away from it. It is exciting, but it will destroy you. It will warp your senses. It will build within you an appetite that you will do anything to appease. And don’t try to create associations through the Internet and chat rooms. They can lead you down into the very abyss of sorrow and bitterness.

My only advice is to just live life the best you can rather than to be "looking" for someone. I never found anyone until I stopped looking. Weird huh?

I think everybody knows now days the internet can be good and bad. I think Pres. Hinckley was warning the Youth (key ward youth) that its hard to tell the good from the bad on the internet. I think older (27 year old) people can tell more of what is good and bad on the internet. Believe me I don't think we want any teenage trying to develop "associations" over the internet. There isn't anything good that can come from that.

But, if somebody is trying to date, the internet can help people meet others. I think that is the key. I wouldn't expect any type of relationship to really happen OVER the internet, its really just a matter of meeting people.

I would have to say being Shy myself, I find it easy to hide behind a computer. I was that way for a while, but I did meet many great people. I know of others that have gotten married from people they have meet on the internet. I considered giving it a try but haven't yet.

The advice of doing your best is how I always have felt. That if I'm on the right path in life things well happen. But they haven't! And I'm not getting any younger. (I'm getting kicked out of singles wards) Now being a guy I have some of this in my control, but honestly after trying to date for so long and failing, i am like the other poster and lacking in Faith. I honestly am to the point to where I doubt I will get married unless the girl actually takes some initiative. But I don't see that happening.

Thus the reason for Online dating. It cuts through some of the first stages, and moves things on quicker. (or so I'm expecting).

The biggest problem with Online dating is you really don't know the person. You can really be anybody you want.

But I do wonder if just maybe the Lord has provide online dating for those rare people that probably would end up being single. What am saying is two people can get married, I don't know if it matters how you meet as long as the rest of the courtship is the same (dating in person).

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Just curious, what is wrong with the single sisters in your area?

I get the impression that you are not local to where you are attending school. Is this correct?

Where I went to college, finding LDS people to date wasn't dificult but finding girls that would go out with me was another matter. Without knowing more about your expectations, I can't give any more decent advice.

:) hmm you against marrying someone you met on the INTERNET sweetie? Me too lol I met a real dodgy guy that way

Seriously I met Gabelpa in a chatroom just after he got back off his mission in 1999, we chatted for 3 years and actually met up in person in March 2002, got engaged 3 days later in San Diego, and were married in August 2002. From my own experience I found it a much better way of meeting someone, we had 3 years where we had nothing to do but talk to each other and there was no danger of us seriously breaking the law of chastity. That 3 years of just talking, playing chess etc gave our marriage a bedrock that helped it survive some very difficult times. It also took away the physical side, I knew he was what I was looking for on every other level before I met him.

You have to keep your standards, and decide what you are looking for, and take basic precautions when meeting up, meet each others families before you make a decision. Yes you could pick up a bad apple, but you can do that at a church dance, in someways with a long period of just talking that is harder to do.

I know the man I met was the right man for me, he is gentle, kind, loving, a great Dad an all round lovely man, think the girls in his YSA ward were nuts for not fancying him. He's a bit geeky but thats his worst fauit.

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I don't know who Elder Oaks is so I can't comment in that aspect. But I have done dating the old-fashioned way and internet dating. And with both methods of socialising, you'll find potential spouse material and real losers. I personally don't see anything wrong with meeting someone online and then taking it from there. The important thing to remember is to be up front with each other about who you are just as if you were face-to-face. Makes things less awkward when it comes to meeting in person :]

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I don't know who Elder Oaks is so I can't comment in that aspect. But I have done dating the old-fashioned way and internet dating. And with both methods of socialising, you'll find potential spouse material and real losers. I personally don't see anything wrong with meeting someone online and then taking it from there. The important thing to remember is to be up front with each other about who you are just as if you were face-to-face. Makes things less awkward when it comes to meeting in person :]

Are you saying I shouldn't use this as my profile picture? ;):D

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I met a real shady gal on the internet 8 years ago next month. Met her in an LDS chat room in fact. She goes by the pen name of Moriah Jovan. I ignored all the warnings from the other gals in the chat room who said Mojeaux was a bad person. In September is our 8 yr anniversary. We were married in the Nauvoo temple. We have 2 wonderful kids. She is a very talented author and publisher. I was warned about her many times. I am glad I didn't listen.

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I met a real shady gal on the internet 8 years ago next month. Met her in an LDS chat room in fact. She goes by the pen name of Moriah Jovan. I ignored all the warnings from the other gals in the chat room who said Mojeaux was a bad person. In September is our 8 yr anniversary. We were married in the Nauvoo temple. We have 2 wonderful kids. She is a very talented author and publisher. I was warned about her many times. I am glad I didn't listen.

If that isn't THE best way to get a guy interested....have all your friends warn him about you. Brilliant! :P

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I don't know who Elder Oaks is so I can't comment in that aspect. But I have done dating the old-fashioned way and internet dating. And with both methods of socialising, you'll find potential spouse material and real losers. I personally don't see anything wrong with meeting someone online and then taking it from there. The important thing to remember is to be up front with each other about who you are just as if you were face-to-face. Makes things less awkward when it comes to meeting in person :]

Here are a couple of quotes from Elder Oaks:

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Dating versus Hanging Out

My single brothers and sisters, follow the simple dating pattern and you don't need to do your looking through Internet chat rooms or dating services-two alternatives that can be very dangerous or at least unnecessary or ineffective.

LDS.org - Ensign Article - Divorce

In conclusion, I speak briefly to those contemplating marriage. The best way to avoid divorce from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry well, inquire well. Associations through “hanging out” or exchanging information on the Internet are not a sufficient basis for marriage. There should be dating, followed by careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective spouse’s behavior in a variety of circumstances. Fiancés should learn everything they can about the families with whom they will soon be joined in marriage. In all of this, we should realize that a good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.

President Spencer W. Kimball taught: “Two individuals approaching the marriage altar must realize that to attain the happy marriage which they hope for they must know that marriage … means sacrifice, sharing, and even a reduction of some personal liberties. It means long, hard economizing. It means children who bring with them financial burdens, service burdens, care and worry burdens; but also it means the deepest and sweetest emotions of all.”

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