18 yo preparing for a mission

[ADoyle90815]

Ultimately, it's your choice, but I do think that 18 is a bit young to consider marriage, as people do change and mature over time. There is such a thing as marrying too young, since many couples that married at 18 have gotten divorced, even LDS couples. While there are couples who did marry at 18 who are still together, it doesn't mean that you will be as fortunate as those couples.

[Finrock]

Greetings all. I hope everyone is have a wonderful day! :)

Just wanted to make a general comment about the option in the survey: "thats [sic] your choice and only your choice".

I think it is obvious that all things we do are ultimately our choice. But, what kind of an option is that? I'm confused by this option or sentiment, because I'm uncertain as to what the application is and what it's relevancy is. Does saying that it is "ultimately one's choice" to go on a mission mean that God has made going on a full-time mission optional (i.e. no breaking of God's commandments) as opposed to God making it a requirement (a commandment) for a young Melchizedek priesthood holder to go? If that is what is being implied, then this is simply an incorrect understanding of a young man's priesthood duty and covenant. If it is not being implied that a young man can opt out of going on a mission without breaking God's commandments, then the sentiment and the option in the survey about it being one's choice to go, becomes meaningless in its context. That option on the survey and that sentiment expressed doesn't represent an alternative decision at all, but instead is just a statement of fact. An obvious restatement of fact, at that.

So, I don't think the issue here is whether or not it is one's choice to go or do, etc. but the question is a matter of oughtness. Ought one to go or do, etc.? Is it required for a young man to prepare themselves to go on a mission and to go, barring legitimate circumstances that would prevent a young man from going? By virtue of priesthood covenants, by the counsel of our prophets, and by the proclamation of scripture, the answer to these questions is an unequivocal YES! Yes, a young priesthood holder is commanded by God to be/become prepared to serve and then to serve a full-time mission. Yes, a young priesthood holder ought to serve a full-time mission.

Regards,

Finrock

[mcfuddy]

I'm going to be blunt. I come from a place (Israel) where people are very blunt and direct, and have served in Russia, where people are even blunter. Don't take any of this the wrong way.

From your post it seems like you really only understand certain aspects of love, and they aren't the ones that make a marriage a strong one.

What in the word 'prepare' leads you to believe that you don't have to go? Have you prepared? If so, how?

You need to redraw your boundaries. You also need to refocus on studyiong the scriptures and praying together.

Let me see if I got this straight. You don't want to go on a mission, you want to stay and marry this girl, but instead of being a man, making a decision and accepting the consequences, you prefer to pray for a brutal, debilitating, lingering, costly, and possibly fatal disease instead?

Is being a man about your decision really that hard that it makes cancer a better alternative?

Why does your girl need a husband that can't make tough decisions, that seeks to shirk responsibility like that?

It seems that with such an attitude your marriage won't succeed regardless of whether or not you serve a mission.

Have you considered what your girl will have to go through if you get cancer, have you considered her in this?

i know it would be better to have cancer in this life and to fight struggle and (hopefully) beat cancer, then go to the next world, than if i willingly choose NOT to go on a mission. yes i know it will be difficult hard and all around terrible. yes i have considered her in this as well. i know how hard it would be for us especially her and i wouldn't want to do that to her you are right, but we could get through it if that's what was planned for us. have i prepared am i prepared no, i am preparing right now. i am in the process of preparing to go.

Greetings all. I hope everyone is have a wonderful day! :)

Just wanted to make a general comment about the option in the survey: "thats [sic] your choice and only your choice".

I think it is obvious that all things we do are ultimately our choice. But, what kind of an option is that? I'm confused by this option or sentiment, because I'm uncertain as to what the application is and what it's relevancy is. Does saying that it is "ultimately one's choice" to go on a mission mean that God has made going on a full-time mission optional (i.e. no breaking of God's commandments) as opposed to God making it a requirement (a commandment) for a young Melchizedek priesthood holder to go? If that is what is being implied, then this is simply an incorrect understanding of a young man's priesthood duty and covenant. If it is not being implied that a young man can opt out of going on a mission without breaking God's commandments, then the sentiment and the option in the survey about it being one's choice to go, becomes meaningless in its context. That option on the survey and that sentiment expressed doesn't represent an alternative decision at all, but instead is just a statement of fact. An obvious restatement of fact, at that.

So, I don't think the issue here is whether or not it is one's choice to go or do, etc. but the question is a matter of oughtness. Ought one to go or do, etc.? Is it required for a young man to prepare themselves to go on a mission and to go, barring legitimate circumstances that would prevent a young man from going? By virtue of priesthood covenants, by the counsel of our prophets, and by the proclamation of scripture, the answer to these questions is an unequivocal YES! Yes, a young priesthood holder is commanded by God to be/become prepared to serve and then to serve a full-time mission. Yes, a young priesthood holder ought to serve a full-time mission.

Regards,

Finrock

i am sorry i actually did write this question wrong and then after i realized it and tried to change it but couldn't i meant to put something more along the lines of that's between you and god. but the way i wrote it it came out WAY wrong. no i agree tht its terrible wording. to be honest this thread was for me a way to have heavenly father answer my prayer. another way for him to talk to me and tell me what i needed to know. i just wanted someone to be inspired by god to get on see this and reply. so i thank you all. and i may not have made my self clear above i will NOT choose to not go on my mission. i will never choose not to go. bc if i get a call i will go! and it'll bring us closer together and i know that. but i hope i can stay and cont. my life here w/o having to choose to stay.

[Dravin]

Technically there are many, many more choices (commit a crime and go to jail, kill one's self, join the Catholic church, go to Africa as a Red Cross missionary, join a rock band, etc.)

Which are neither serving in the military nor a mission and thus would be covered by the third option of doing neither. Imagine that, something specifically phrased to include all but two excluded options includes all but two excluded options.

So, you are indeed incorrect in stating there is a third option.

Nope. I stated there are more options available to them than those stated by Hemi. My statement neither stated nor implied the condition that it be acceptable to Hemi (as Hemi's comment arguably does). Are you denying that there are literally more options than those Hemi presented available to them? My comment may arguably have been a non sequitur but it is not incorrect.

in Hemi's home there are only two acceptable options for his sons when it comes to this question of serving a mission or not.

Did you get tired of reading but not let that stop you from commenting anyway?

Or perhaps you mean there are but two options you feel are acceptable.

Edited April 30, 2010 by Dravin

[Finrock]

Good evening Dravin. I hope you are well. :)

Did you get tired of reading but not let that stop you from commenting anyway?

Apparently I did. I offer you my apologies for not being thorough.

Regards,

Finrock

[Elgama]

if you are truly in love you can wait both sexually and physically for marriage. 2 years is nothing when you are looking at eternity. going on a mission blesses the family you will have do you really want to mis out on eternal blessings because you couldnt hold back 2 year? fact is if you don't want mission, chastity etc for your children when they are things you can give them what you have is not an eternal love its just everyday. Your love may grow into something more, but right now you are blaming the prophets for making you do something you should want to do for your family if love of an eternal companion is what you are considering

Edited April 30, 2010 by Elgama

[Dravin]

Good evening Dravin. I hope you are well. :)

Apparently I did. I offer you my apologies for not being thorough.

Regards,

Finrock

Sorry, I kinda bit your head off there. Example #1 why staying up late on the boards is bad.

[Finrock]

Evening Dravin. I hope you've had a good day. :)

Sorry, I kinda bit your head off there. Example #1 why staying up late on the boards is bad.

It's all gravy. :)

Regards,

Finrock

[volgadon]

i know it would be better to have cancer in this life and to fight struggle and (hopefully) beat cancer, then go to the next world, than if i willingly choose NOT to go on a mission.

Not if you wish it on yourself in order not to serve. You don't want to go on a mission and expect God to give you a loophole. It doesn't work, the Lord sees not as man sees, he looks on the heart. Just serving a mission does not gaurantee one a place in the celestial kingdom. Remeber the great principle taught by Mormon, that a gift given grudgingly is considered the same as holding back the gift! That person is counted as evil before God. Evil in this context means guilty or at fault.

yes i know it will be difficult hard and all around terrible.

Is it really better than sacrificing two years of your life to fulfil a commandment from the Lord? is it preferable to placing him first in your life?

yes i have considered her in this as well. i know how hard it would be for us especially her and i wouldn't want to do that to her you are right, but we could get through it if that's what was planned for us.

If that is what is planned that is what is planned, but why are you praying for it?

have i prepared am i prepared no, i am preparing right now. i am in the process of preparing to go.

How are you preparing?

[Guest mysticmorini]

let me throw out a story about a young man who feel in love at 18 and didn't go on a mission.

this young man met another semi-active LDS young woman in a town with few young LDS. they dated all through there senior year and planned on getting married while he went to college after she got a two year degree. about 6 months before they planned on getting married the young woman began to enjoy drinking and sex. she eventually broke off the marriage and left the now 21 y/o young man high and dry with worthiness issues, thousands in student loans, no realistic way of ever going on a mission as a young adult and leaving him very unattractive to any other potential lds woman.

now will this be the case in your relationship? maybe, maybe not. the point is that what you see as the future can change quickly, leaving you with very few options. will going on a mission help to make you a better husband? maybe. will not going make you a worse one? no, not necessarily. I will guarantee one thing, if you fallow the lord you will find happiness. you may not end up marrying this girl and you may experience great sorrow because of it. but you will find greater happiness if you trust in the lord.

[mcfuddy]

Not if you wish it on yourself in order not to serve. You don't want to go on a mission and expect God to give you a loophole. It doesn't work, the Lord sees not as man sees, he looks on the heart. Just serving a mission does not gaurantee one a place in the celestial kingdom. Remeber the great principle taught by Mormon, that a gift given grudgingly is considered the same as holding back the gift! That person is counted as evil before God. Evil in this context means guilty or at fault.

okay maybe i didn't make my self clear. i would absolutely love to marry eden. and i would love to not have to leave for 2 years and to start our lives in august. but if it isn't meant to be if i am to serve i WILL serve. and i wont do so begrudgingly i will do so fully, faithfully, and to the best of my ability. bc i know that if i am suppose to go on my mission that is what the lord will have me do. and things will turn out best for me that way.

let me throw out a story about a young man who feel in love at 18 and didn't go on a mission.

this young man met another semi-active LDS young woman in a town with few young LDS. they dated all through there senior year and planned on getting married while he went to college after she got a two year degree. about 6 months before they planned on getting married the young woman began to enjoy drinking and sex. she eventually broke off the marriage and left the now 21 y/o young man high and dry with worthiness issues, thousands in student loans, no realistic way of ever going on a mission as a young adult and leaving him very unattractive to any other potential lds woman.

now will this be the case in your relationship? maybe, maybe not. the point is that what you see as the future can change quickly, leaving you with very few options. will going on a mission help to make you a better husband? maybe. will not going make you a worse one? no, not necessarily. I will guarantee one thing, if you fallow the lord you will find happiness. you may not end up marrying this girl and you may experience great sorrow because of it. but you will find greater happiness if you trust in the lord.

1. she is VERY faithful and very active. 2. i wont not go if i am told to by my bishop 3. i know god can see the eternities and i cant so i wouldn't base a eternally huge decision like marriage on my knowledge.

btw how am i preparing? ummm well

physically im currently going through the doctors and other req. as well as keeping my self in shape

mentally i'm currently working a sales job and can see the ways it'd apply to a mission and i try to examine how this could be a learning exp. 4 that

emotionally im preparing to have to leave behind everyone i know and love and to be able to deal with minimal contact.

spiritually i am praying and reading scriptures, as well as talking to rm's in my ward. i am reading preach my gospel and learning more about the doctrine of the church. i am going to a mission prep class. and i have been through a temple prep class and i am attending the temple doing baptisms a lot more often.

and more...

[Wingnut]

okay maybe i didn't make my self clear. i would absolutely love to marry eden. and i would love to not have to leave for 2 years and to start our lives in august. but if it isn't meant to be if i am to serve i WILL serve. and i wont do so begrudgingly i will do so fully, faithfully, and to the best of my ability. bc i know that if i am suppose to go on my mission that is what the lord will have me do. and things will turn out best for me that way.

Everything that you have said has indicated that you are very grudged about this. Do you expect your attitude to just flip a switch one day?

emotionally im preparing to have to leave behind everyone i know and love and to be able to deal with minimal contact.

Except your girlfriend.

[Guest mormonmusic]

McFuddy:

If I was you, I'd wait until the cancer diagnoses is determined. My hunch is that you probably don't have it given your age, but who knows. Get that off the table before you go thinking about other life decisions.

If you don't have cancer, I suggest you consider the mission instead of marriage for now. They say you have two years to serve, and a lifetime to talk about the mission -it's that meaningful to people. You will probably regret not serving one if you stay home and get married.

On your mission, you will learn a lot about yourself so you can choose a marriage partner successfully. Looking at this as the grey panther whose been down the rocky road of love a few times, when you're young, you still dont' know a lot about what is important in a marriage. Serving a mission will bring you a lot of maturity as you observe the choices of others, and learn how to get along with your companions.

Plus, for the rest of your life, you'll feel good that you made a sacrifice to serve the Lord. When I reflect on my failings and attempts to repent, and my lack of successes, I always feel good that at least I can point to the four years of sacrifice (2 to get the money, 2 to actually serve) I made to serve the Lord. I'm sure he's pleased that I made those sacrifices to serve him.

You will lose that if you stay home for a relationship which may not be fitting give your age and probably lack of experience to make a sound judgment on who to marry.

Just my two cents.

[Guest mysticmorini]

lets think about it this way. if you girlfriend was out of the picture would you still be hesitant about going on a mission?

[mcfuddy]

lets think about it this way. if you girlfriend was out of the picture would you still be hesitant about going on a mission?

no, but that is because marriage wouldn't even be an option. and as ive said if i get a call i will go so hesitant doesnt describe my feelings tword a mission

[volgadon]

But yet you pray for cancer. That doesn't strike me as willingness. You would rather put her through hell than wait two years while serving the Lord.

[Guest mysticmorini]

no, but that is because marriage wouldn't even be an option. and as ive said if i get a call i will go so hesitant doesnt describe my feelings tword a mission

it seems quite simple to me then. Submit your papers through your bishop and stake pres. if the church says that you are excused due to your health (which probably wont be the case) then you may pursue marriage and getting on with your life.

[SOONtoB]

I have a girl friend also and I will be sending in my mission papers very soon, I also want to marry this girl but we have been dating for two years now.... I think you need to continue praying... yes if you stay you may be helping her life and yours perhaps... but if you go think of all the people you will be helping by spreading the gospel to them... Bringing the love of christ into their lives... also it will strengthen your trust in the lord... what happens when your gone is for the best... the lord takes care of you in his own ways.... I am just giving advice you do not need to listen to me haha.... just a suggestion though...