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mcfuddy

18 yo preparing for a mission

so should i go?  

23 members have voted

  1. 1. so should i go?

    • DEFINITELY! this isnt even a question. you need to go!
      13
    • you should stay and get married to the love of your life.
      0
    • thats your choice and only your choice
      10
    • it's complicated...
      1


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okay i dont know what to do. i have a girlfriend. and i love her(please dont say im to young to know what love is). Now i know tht every young man has been called to serve a mission. but is every young man suppose to go on a full time mission? my P. blessing says i need to PREPARE for a mission and serve in w/e capacities i am called to. so it doesnt directly say i should go it says i should prepare to go. and i want to marry this girl of mine. and she wants to marry me. we have went through hard times and easy times. its been a year. we find that our worthiness is getting harder and harder to keep. now i am preparing for my mission and if i get a call i will go, bc ,if i understand right, if i get a call and turn it down i will be going against god. there is a chance that i may have cancer and im currently in the process of finding out. but i find myself praying that it is cancer just so i can stay home and marry this wonderful woman. to be honest what i want to know is what should i do? i know if i want our relationship to succeed i have to do what is right. so if i must leave on a mission then i will. but if i get to stay i would love to stay and marry her. i have thought of writing the prophet and asking this very question lol. she moved back home to Las Vegas on Monday, and i find that im lost without her. she is having a hard time at home and to be honest we would both be happier if we could just finally live together. BUT in 2 years she will be a RN and $$ wise things will be much easier. honestly i have prayed about it but i haven't(to my knowledge) revived an answer and i am so confused. like i said I'll do what im told but i want to stay and get married in the Provo temple. so what should i do i just need any advice/help/thoughts i can get. im so confused right now. and scared. so please reply.

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My question to you would be, how are you praying about it? Are you just asking "what should I do?" If you are, that isn't the best way to pray about it. Read D&C 9:8-9. It tells you how you should go about making a decision and praying about it. You need to make a decision on your own first, the one that you think is best, then pray and ask if it is right.

I know someone who knew they were supposed to go on a mission. They prepared to go and were about to turn in their papers and were in an interview with the Stake President. The Stake President told this person they are not to go on a mission and that the Lord wanted this person to only prepare to go. This person had been dating and the Stake President said that they needed to go get married.

So maybe you are only supposed to prepare. I don't know. Pray about it in they way it says in D&C 9:8-9. I hope all goes well in whatever comes next in your life.

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If you have cancer I dont think u will be able to go, you will have to be under a Drs care. I hope you dont have cancer. Its not a pretty thing, its scarey..I had it. And I was blessed it was only grade 1. I have been cancer free for 2 1/2 yrs. I do hope u will go on your mission, life is a journey, we learn we grow, a mission is a wonderful way to grow, then when u come back u can marry this woman. But it is each ones choice we all have free agency. But remember we are here to be tested, and to do what Heavenly Father has sent us here to do. Our lives are better when we do what is right. by following Gods plan for us.

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Don't turn down the opportunity of going on a mission because of being in love. Doing so would be acting purely on impulsive reasoning and not for more logical reasoning (ie. being diagnosed with cancer and being ineligible to serve, or knowing that you shouldn't serve a mission because of being unworthy). If you're fully able, serving a mission will be a great blessing to you, as I've heard from many returned missionaries (some that wanted to go and some that weren't sure at the time).

I know you think and feel like you know exactly what you want but at 18 you just don't :] And if you're 18, I'm assuming your lady-love, is just as young or possibly younger.. Allow yourself to grow by serving an honourable mission and meanwhile, allow her the same opportunity to grow and mature herself. Of course, at the end of the day, it's between you and the Lord but ultimately you'll have to make the decision you can live with and won't regret.

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We are not qualified to give you a definitive answer for what to do in your individual situation. Polls will be useless in this case. You need to take these concerns to your local bishop and stake president and counsel with them. They are ordained with they keys to receive revelation that will pertain to you as you are under their jurisdiction as priesthood leaders. We can only give general advice here, which is that the church says that every young man should prepare himself to serve an honorable full-time mission. If health or other issues come into play, then that situation must be taken on a case-by-case situation, seeking the guidance of your church leaders. Don't take the Lord, and his servants, out of the equation.

Also, you will not receive a mission call without first submitting the proper papers to Church HQ. You can address all of your issues with your bishop and stake president, who would be assisting you in submitting your paperwork. They are best suited to helping you with these things.

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I say go on your mission. If you and your gf are really committed together then you will be together. I recommend talking to your bishop and stake president. Be open and honest with them about why you are not sure if you want to go on your mission.

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okay i dont know what to do. i have a girlfriend. and i love her(please dont say im to young to know what love is).

I can't speak specifically to you, but most 18-year-olds are way to young to understand real love.

Now i know tht every young man has been called to serve a mission.

No they haven't. Every young man has been instructed to prepare to be called to serve a mission.

but is every young man suppose to go on a full time mission?

According to President Kimball, yes.

my P. blessing says i need to PREPARE for a mission and serve in w/e capacities i am called to. so it doesnt directly say i should go it says i should prepare to go.

Semantics.

now i am preparing for my mission and if i get a call i will go, bc ,if i understand right, if i get a call and turn it down i will be going against god.

If you get a call to serve, it's because you've gone through the process to prepare and initiate the call. It's because you've indicated that you want to serve. To turn down the call afterward would, frankly, be hypocritical.

there is a chance that i may have cancer and im currently in the process of finding out.

You should discuss this with your bishop and determine the limitations it places on your ability to serve. You are only 18 and can still enter the mission field until you turn 26. You should also give him a time frame on the testing.

but i find myself praying that it is cancer just so i can stay home and marry this wonderful woman.

I have had friends and family members who have had cancer, and I know there are people on this site who have also dealt with it. I'm disgusted by the attitude that you would hope for cancer because you don't have the willpower to obey the prophets.

i have thought of writing the prophet and asking this very question lol.

I don't find this "lol"-able at all. Does it occur to you that the prophet has a lot on his plate to deal with already? If you received a response at all, it would probably be along the lines of following the counsel of past prophets. Additionally, all doctrinal or policy questions should always first be directed to local leaders -- bishop, then stake president.

honestly i have prayed about it but i haven't(to my knowledge) revived an answer and i am so confused.

Sounds like a stupor of thought to me.

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I don't doubt that you really love her. The one thing that I do know is that 18 is young. You are still figuring out who you are. All of my friends and family members who got married that young are divorced or have crappy marriages.

I voted that you should go on your mission, but not because "all young men are supposed to." I think you should go because you learn a lot about yourself, the world and life by going.

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You should discuss this with your bishop and determine the limitations it places on your ability to serve. You are only 18 and can still enter the mission field until you turn 26. You should also give him a time frame on the testing.

I have had friends and family members who have had cancer, and I know there are people on this site who have also dealt with it. I'm disgusted by the attitude that you would hope for cancer because you don't have the willpower to obey the prophets.

okay first off i know people who have struggled though cancer and my cousin who was my best friend died from cancer. i know that it wont be easy and that it would probably be the hardest time of my life physically, emotionally, financially and in all other ways. i understand that. and as for not having the will power to do as the prophets have said. the reason i'm hoping for cancer is because i WILL do as they said! so cancer would allow me to stay home and get married, bc if i don't have a reason to stay (cancer) i wil go bc i belive that that is what i need to do, i also feel that if im not to go then i will be told that as well weather if its from a doctor saying i have cancer or a bishop telling me not to go. i WILL do what the prophet has said THAT is why i hope for cancer

I don't find this "lol"-able at all. Does it occur to you that the prophet has a lot on his plate to deal with already? If you received a response at all, it would probably be along the lines of following the counsel of past prophets. Additionally, all doctrinal or policy questions should always first be directed to local leaders -- bishop, then stake president.

i said i have thought about writing him i know very well he is busy! i also know that my bishop and stake authorities can help me as well. and i thought it funny that i was considering such an extreme approach. bc its so extreme is why i was laughing. it also helped to explain my thought process

Sounds like a stupor of thought to me.

and nooooo i would have understood that to be an answer i do read my scriptures too. it wasn't wiped from my mind but i had no conformation that it was the correct choice either. that is what i meant.

i don't know why you jumped down my throat when all i was asking for was some help and advice. but thank you for your comments anyways

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I can't speak specifically to you, but most 18-year-olds are way to young to understand real love.

okay well lets just say we have both been in situation unusual for most ppl lds or nt tht has caused us to grow up mentally a little quicker than most. yeah i still have a heck of a lot more to work on but i know what we have is different and special. i DO love her but i do understand where you're coming from i often cant belive that i could be in love contemplating marriage at 18 either. i have always thought id wait until i was at least 23.

My question to you would be, how are you praying about it? Are you just asking "what should I do?" If you are, that isn't the best way to pray about it. Read D&C 9:8-9. It tells you how you should go about making a decision and praying about it. You need to make a decision on your own first, the one that you think is best, then pray and ask if it is right.

I know someone who knew they were supposed to go on a mission. They prepared to go and were about to turn in their papers and were in an interview with the Stake President. The Stake President told this person they are not to go on a mission and that the Lord wanted this person to only prepare to go. This person had been dating and the Stake President said that they needed to go get married.

So maybe you are only supposed to prepare. I don't know. Pray about it in they way it says in D&C 9:8-9. I hope all goes well in whatever comes next in your life.

i can not tell you how greatfull i am for this post. lol i just finished praying asking for something for some kind of answer and then i got an email saying that you had replied. your post really did help me and it has givin me back the hope that was slowly slipping away. i dont know if im going to leave or not but i DO know what should happen WILL happen. i thank you once more for your inspired words and your perfect timing.

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You should go.

You will never regret it. Never. It will change you forever and every decision you make thereafter. It is wise to go.

I dont know what to say about the cancer except that is ridiculous and selfish. If you marry her and you have cancer this poor woman will have to take care of you. Think of this uproad battle! I cant believe you would choose that path over a growing experience in following the Lord.

Think of all the people you will meet whose lives will change becuase of you and your life will change as well. You will change. This girl will respect you more. Time will move on you will get older and if you dont go, you will regret it. You are worthy, YOU SHOULD GO.

You can still love her while you are on your mission. Two years isnt that long.

I really really REALLY hope you dont have cancer.

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Ultimately its up to you. But I think everything will turn out the way its suppoed to be in the end. Now, the way its supposed to be later on, it just might be the way you want it to be right now...

But it also might not.

Regardless, there are a few possible things that can happen here:

1--Let's say you do decide to go... If she is your eternal companion and god agrees you would be happiest with her, then he will keep the two of you from growing too far apart during your mission (if you both pray for that).

2-- Again, say you decide to go. 2 years is a long time. And you are going to be traveling, meeting new people, seeing new things... Almost nobody comes back from a mission as the same person... Its really going to change you-- the things you want in life and how you plan to get them, the depth of your mind and heart, even your personality a bit-- but all in a good way, I think. It will open your eyes to the world even wider than before. More often than not, those changes (while good) have caused many high school sweethearts to come to the conclusion that they would be better off parting ways. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go, it just means that if you do-- be prepared for that.

3 and 4-- You can stay home and marry her, then have a wonderful life. Or you can stay home, marry her, and you still eventually decide that it wasn't the best match.

But then what?

Basically, you should go over all this with god, and make the decision that sounds like the smartest (not the most dramatic) thing to do, that's truly right for both of you.

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Guest WhoShotJS
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go on tour with phish instead.

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okay i dont know what to do. i have a girlfriend. and i love her(please dont say im to young to know what love is). Now i know tht every young man has been called to serve a mission. but is every young man suppose to go on a full time mission? my P. blessing says i need to PREPARE for a mission and serve in w/e capacities i am called to. so it doesnt directly say i should go it says i should prepare to go. and i want to marry this girl of mine. and she wants to marry me. we have went through hard times and easy times. its been a year. we find that our worthiness is getting harder and harder to keep. now i am preparing for my mission and if i get a call i will go, bc ,if i understand right, if i get a call and turn it down i will be going against god. there is a chance that i may have cancer and im currently in the process of finding out. but i find myself praying that it is cancer just so i can stay home and marry this wonderful woman. to be honest what i want to know is what should i do? i know if i want our relationship to succeed i have to do what is right. so if i must leave on a mission then i will. but if i get to stay i would love to stay and marry her. i have thought of writing the prophet and asking this very question lol. she moved back home to Las Vegas on Monday, and i find that im lost without her. she is having a hard time at home and to be honest we would both be happier if we could just finally live together. BUT in 2 years she will be a RN and $$ wise things will be much easier. honestly i have prayed about it but i haven't(to my knowledge) revived an answer and i am so confused. like i said I'll do what im told but i want to stay and get married in the Provo temple. so what should i do i just need any advice/help/thoughts i can get. im so confused right now. and scared. so please reply.

In our home, there is but two options for our sons;

1] Serve a mission

2] or join the military.

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In our home, there is but two options for our sons;

1] Serve a mission

2] or join the military.

but that means they dont choose for them self? that means that they may enter into the feild bc mom n dad made em. nt bc its whet they feel is right.

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but that means they dont choose for them self? that means that they may enter into the feild bc mom n dad made em. nt bc its whet they feel is right.

They are given two choices, and must decide between them, for themselves.

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In our home, there is but two options for our sons;

1] Serve a mission

2] or join the military.

No offense Hemi but there is a 3rd.

3] Do neither.

There will of course be consequences for doing so but you cannot force your children to serve a mission or in the military against their will (unless in the course of the latter you are a government). So even if the consequences of choice 3 are disowning it is still an option. Or perhaps you mean there are but two options you feel are acceptable.

Edited by Dravin

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Good afternoon Melissa569! Nice to meet you. :)

But I think everything will turn out the way its suppoed to be in the end.

I just wanted to add a caveat to the quoted statement. Things will work out the way they are supposed to be insofar as we are doing the things we are suppose to be doing.

In context to this young man's dilemma, unless he has a legitimate reasons why he cannot go on his mission, what he is suppose to do and what he ought to do is prepare with his might to go on a mission and then go. It is his priesthood duty and covenant. Period.

So, in his case, things with his girlfriend will work out the way they are supposed to work out if he continues to do what he is suppose to do, which at this point in his life, is to serve a full-time mission.

Regards,

Finrock

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but that means they dont choose for them self? that means that they may enter into the feild bc mom n dad made em. nt bc its whet they feel is right.

When it comes to service to others, it is more of a commitment to one belief and country. They still have a choice in not doing both but through parental example; they only choose to honor it. I have yet to have any child choose otherwise.

There was a past incident, listening to the Spirit; I told one of my daughters to not marry this individual and to serve a church mission. She still had the choice in still marrying but chooses to honor her parent’s wishes. Her life is much brighter now than being marrying to her first choice.

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No offense Hemi but there is a 3rd.

3] Do neither.

There will of course be consequences for doing so but you cannot force your children to serve a mission or in the military against their will (unless in the course of the latter you are a government). So even if the consequences of choice 3 are disowning it is still an option. Or perhaps you mean there are but two options you feel are acceptable.

Read the above...I could added it but my children know me well to give me honor and trust with their future.

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Good afternoon Dravin. I hope you are doing great today! :)

In our home, there is but two options for our sons;

1] Serve a mission

2] or join the military.

No offense Hemi but there is a 3rd.

3] Do neither.

There will of course be consequences for doing so but you cannot force your children to serve a mission or in the military against their will (unless in the course of the latter you are a government). So even if the consequences of choice 3 are disowning it is still an option. Or perhaps you mean there are but two options you feel are acceptable.

Technically there are many, many more choices (commit a crime and go to jail, kill one's self, join the Catholic church, go to Africa as a Red Cross missionary, join a rock band, etc.) But, all statements like the one Hemi made assumes (not an implicit assumption, but a deduced assumption) that these are the only acceptable options. Even though Hemi didn't state it explicitely, the statement must, obviously and necessarily, be understood to be saying that the two options listed are the only acceptable options in Hemidakota's home. So, you are indeed incorrect in stating there is a third option, because in Hemi's home there are only two acceptable options for his sons when it comes to this question of serving a mission or not.

Regards,

Finrock

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First off, at 18 you are too young to get married. How will you support her? Second, it sounds like you are being dragged around by your hormones. If it is getting "harder and harder" then you need to cool it off.

Praying to get cancer so you don't have to go on a mission is also rebellion. The day will come when you will regret not going. You are only looking at the short term, rather than your entire lifetime. Two years is nothing when you consider the eternities, or even 80 years of mortal life. If you really love your girlfriend, and she really loves you, you will both have the best desires for each other. You will want to be patient, and do things the right and best way. And you will want God to be an important part of your marriage.

If neither of you can be faithful to God, how can you be sure you will be faithful to one another? You can enter into a relationship with or without God's blessing. It is your choice. But when you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other end as well.

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okay i dont know what to do. i have a girlfriend. and i love her(please dont say im to young to know what love is).

I'm going to be blunt. I come from a place (Israel) where people are very blunt and direct, and have served in Russia, where people are even blunter. Don't take any of this the wrong way.

From your post it seems like you really only understand certain aspects of love, and they aren't the ones that make a marriage a strong one.

Now i know tht every young man has been called to serve a mission. but is every young man suppose to go on a full time mission? my P. blessing says i need to PREPARE for a mission and serve in w/e capacities i am called to. so it doesnt directly say i should go it says i should prepare to go.

What in the word 'prepare' leads you to believe that you don't have to go? Have you prepared? If so, how?

and i want to marry this girl of mine. and she wants to marry me. we have went through hard times and easy times. its been a year. we find that our worthiness is getting harder and harder to keep.

You need to redraw your boundaries. You also need to refocus on studyiong the scriptures and praying together.

now i am preparing for my mission and if i get a call i will go, bc ,if i understand right, if i get a call and turn it down i will be going against god. there is a chance that i may have cancer and im currently in the process of finding out. but i find myself praying that it is cancer just so i can stay home and marry this wonderful woman. to be honest what i want to know is what should i do? i know if i want our relationship to succeed i have to do what is right. so if i must leave on a mission then i will. but if i get to stay i would love to stay and marry her.

Let me see if I got this straight. You don't want to go on a mission, you want to stay and marry this girl, but instead of being a man, making a decision and accepting the consequences, you prefer to pray for a brutal, debilitating, lingering, costly, and possibly fatal disease instead?

Is being a man about your decision really that hard that it makes cancer a better alternative?

Why does your girl need a husband that can't make tough decisions, that seeks to shirk responsibility like that?

It seems that with such an attitude your marriage won't succeed regardless of whether or not you serve a mission.

Have you considered what your girl will have to go through if you get cancer, have you considered her in this?

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