Some say they are overloaded...


Moksha
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Yeah I dont even have a hometeaching companion, were getting close to 200 years as far as the fospel being restored. It took that long for the nephite civilation to break down after Jesus visited them. Perhapes instead of the Church over loading members the members are just getting lazy

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I'd also love to have people tabulate their amount of time spent each week:

*On the web or computer

*Watching TV

*Reading leisure material

*Running kids to one-too-many extracurricular activities

*Games/sports/hobbies

*Sleeping more than necessary (I'm amazed at how much some people sleep!)

*Doing their hair/makeup/outfit

*Chatting/texting on the phone for fun

THEN let's see who's truly losing family time to the Lord's work (vs. all the other "stuff" we spend or over-spend our time on).

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I think some church members (and non-members) just have a hard time saying "No". The Bishop isn't going to bite your head off if you give him reasons why you're unsure about accepting a new calling or responsibility. Perhaps he could call you an assistant or give you pointers on how to fulfill the calling with less work.

Also, sometimes in callings we MAKE more work for ourselves. "Magnifying a calling" doesn't mean running faster than you can walk, or making your duties more elaborate than they need to be. You don't need to prepare a cute refridgerator magnet with a deep, thought provoking quote on it for the Relief Society sisters you're teaching, or plan elaborate chili cook-offs for the Elder's Quorum activities. The Primary kids don't need elaborate visual aids, or homebaked cookies at the end of the lesson.

If someone's church duties are causing them to neglect their families, then THEY need to look at how they're fulfilling their callings and see where they can cut back, and if it requires speaking to the Bishop then DO IT. He won't know you're overburdened unless you tell him.

ETA: Also ditto Prodigal!

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Guest mysticmorini

if some are overloaded it is because others are not pulling their weight. in my ward for example; we have had a hard time getting people to accept callings and as a result we have active members with 3 and 4 callings and many semi-active members with none.

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Also, sometimes in callings we MAKE more work for ourselves. "Magnifying a calling" doesn't mean running faster than you can walk, or making your duties more elaborate than they need to be.

This reminded me of the Bishops wife saying in her testimony today how she thought it would be easier having 50 babies than being the wife of a Bishop. I looked at the Bishops face and I could tell he was getting a wakeup call to spend more time at home and less at the chapel.

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This reminded me of the Bishops wife saying in her testimony today how she thought it would be easier having 50 babies than being the wife of a Bishop. I looked at the Bishops face and I could tell he was getting a wakeup call to spend more time at home and less at the chapel.

Having been Ward Exec Secretary for 6 months now, I can honstly say that before this calling I had no idea how many hours a week Bishops "work" at their calling

My Bishop regularily puts in about 25 hours a week at Church (how many hours he spends on his calling at home I don't know), this is on top of a 40 hour a week "real job". He's older: all the kids are grown and out of the house, I don't know how young Bishops do it. Plus he gets his Home Teaching done.

So I now have little sympathy for someone who spends 1 - 5 hours a week on their calling and complains about the time it takes to H.T.

Edited by mnn727
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I have heard more than one Church member say they felt overloaded with Church duties. They said they feel they are neglecting their families.

Makes me think of a camel carrying straw. Is Home Teaching that one straw too many?

Pity..

I would not put a priesthood duty on my list of things to sacrifice for time with family.

..Things would really have to be hard to get to that point where it is between God and family, at which time the question becomes do you choose God or your family first?

I submit that if you make the sacrifice to choose God first, that the windows of heaven will be opened.

Home teaching is a rather vital role in the church, and probably one that is way too often taken for granted.

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Again we see another fine line. What organization is more important...the church or the family? There are some occasions where it is hard to come to the right decision. Is it correct to associate God with the church more then associating God with the family?

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For me, my family life alone is overloaded. But the church and my callings and duties are a bit of a reprieve from family duties. Of course, I appreciate both challenges but my church callings make me more efficient and focused on the most important things when it comes to my duties at home. Many of my callings have given me a chance to know other women on a different level than I would if I just sat through sacrament meeting. From their strength and example and sharing ideas I am much more successful at home.

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Again we see another fine line. What organization is more important...the church or the family? There are some occasions where it is hard to come to the right decision. Is it correct to associate God with the church more then associating God with the family?

Agreed. Family is (far) more important than church. The gospel is about relationships, not bureaucracy. The Church exists to support families and individuals, NOT the other way around.

While I myself am not exactly overloaded with Church-related duties, I see many people who are. Some of you folks seem too quick to judge others as "lazy," or as having a bad attitude. I suggest you learn empathy for others. Most churches have a paid clergy that takes care of many of the tasks we are asked to do for free, on top of our regular jobs. What with working, taking care of families, etc., many people really are quite busy, and it's not our place to judge them if they cannot accept every calling extended to them. A lot of them, bless their hearts, accept the callings anyway, and try their best to fulfill them, only to get extremely stressed out as a result. Let's show some empathy, ok?

HEP

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Over the weekend I was called by the Stake President to a big calling. He made it very clear that my wife and family comes first, then my job so I can support my family, and then my calling comes next. He said if you have to choose between going to a church meeting or going to a kid's music recital, you pick your family over the meeting.

That doesn't mean you neglect your calling and spend all your time with your family, there has to be some balancing going on, but the time spent with the family has to be quality time, and any special family events should always take precedence.

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Concerning callings - I suggest reading 1Nephi 3: 1-7

Callings are not just hard things that G-d asks us to do but callings are commandments. Taking care of our spouses and families are among commandments extended to all members.

The point I would like to make is that we realize that our spouses are with us in the covenant and that they can assist us in being able to do all things the L-rd has commanded. What we must understand is that the L-rd has prepared a way to do what he has commanded us. But some of us do not want to go about what we have been commanded by the way the L-rd has prepared - so we murmur make excuses and fail. All that is needed is to accept what has been commanded and then set about doing as the L-rd has commanded. He will make his way known to those that desire to know it.

The Traveler

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How much is too much? My family was blessed when a dear brother in our Stake went by and gave our 3 month early preemies a blessings . He was on vacation in Louisana and this is where the doctors sent the twins. At the time I had a stake calling in the Primary. I know with all my heart that because I was doing what my Heavenly Father wanted me to do: my family was blessed. Also this seemed to be the time my daughter's life started turning toward the Church again.

You know sometimes the best example to our families is showing them that our calling is serving our Heavenly Father. That this is important also. They are watching how you serve. Are we serving time or serving?

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Some people are TRULY overloaded so it's not really nice to assume they are lazy or they are not pulling enough. Every home is a WORLD in itself, and you may be surprised at the challenges some members have at home with children, with health related issues, etc. In my view, it's all a matter of priorities. If I have to choose between sitting down on a meeting to PLAN another meeting and do my visiting/home teaching then I would choose the last because it is through that, that I can truly see the needs of my brothers and sisters and try to help them in whatever they need.

Often times, we just feel we are doing great just because we warm a chair on a meeting but we neglect to do our HT/VT which is to me, the REAL SERVICE.

Also, FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST.

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I'm grateful for a bishop who encourages me to delegate to my counselors (and who made sure I have a fully staffed presidency) so that I can do what I need to with my kids. I know he spends a lot more time on his calling than I do on mine, as well as being a business owner (he's an attorney). He doesn't whine, or call anyone lazy.

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Guest mormonmusic

Having been Ward Exec Secretary for 6 months now, I can honstly say that before this calling I had no idea how many hours a week Bishops "work" at their calling

So I now have little sympathy for someone who spends 1 - 5 hours a week on their calling and complains about the time it takes to H.T.

I think one has to be careful of judging people this way, though. When people are struggling with new challenges, like a newly diagnosed disease, or marital issues etcetera, it can be hard to find the head-space for service opportunities. NOw, is this necessarily widespread, and a blanket excuse -- definitely not -- but one has to recognize that different people have different capacities for service.

I'm one of the people who often felt overburdened in my callings. At my worst point, I had a full time job, part time job, was an HPGL, had two young children, and was going to university as a student. It was really hard. You get up early, work feverishly all day, running from meeting to meeting, and when you come home, there's not time for self-renewal. Do this for 3 years and yes, it can be a burnout.

I dealt with this by exiting a calling. No longer could I be relied upon to step up every time someone needed something. I started saying No. Also, the few other reliable members of our Ward had just been released from hefty callings, so there wasn't anyone else to fill in the gaps for key positions.

Guess what happened? Our Bishop had to reach into the pool of semi-active and less committed members to fill key priesthood leadership and bishopric responsibilities. So, as a result, 3 brethren who refused to lift a finger in our high priest group were suddenly leading it. How refreshing it was to see these brethren, who would not do HT under my watch, suddenly get up in front of the quorum and encourage everyone to do home teaching. It was also refreshing to see a less active I'd worked with, who didn't respond to anything we tried, suddenly become the Ward clerk, and be at Church every Sunday. Also, to see another less active person who home teacher's had little success with -- he accepted a calling as a communications specialist -- and actually does his or her calling.

There are times when I think if the Same Ten People went on strike, the Ward leadership would HAVE to call the benchwarmers to callings, as they did in this case.

That way the STP (same ten people) wouldn't get overwhelmed and burnt out.

Right now, I'm not that busy in the Church, and life is so enriching. I have a hobby I'm pursuing, I enjoy discussions like this, spend time with my kids every single weekend, and yes, I still do my home teaching. None of it's a burden. And strangely, the work of the Ward seems to be getting done without my leadership in a hefty calling! Imagine that!!!!

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Guest mormonmusic

Often times, we just feel we are doing great just because we warm a chair on a meeting but we neglect to do our HT/VT which is to me, the REAL SERVICE.

Also, FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST.

Interesting, someone once asked me to come to a missionary meeting meant to get everyone fired up about missionary work. I said -- if I go out and ask 3 non-members to take the missionary discussions, can I be exempt from the meeting?

The person said "No"!!!! So, I went to the meeting and I don't think I ever asked anyone to take the discussions in the few months afterwards.

But my point -- there are times we tie people up with meetings that have little impact on the three-fold mission of the Church, detracting from their lives, their family, their self-renewal time, etcetera. One has to be careful to ferrett out such activities to keep the work/life and church trinity in balance.

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We do not serve calling but we serve G-d and our fellow man. When a calling is no longer service it is no longer a calling. No calling is beyond the individual that has the spirit of G-d guiding them and if we think that we can accomplish a calling on our own merits alone we do not serve G-d and our fellow man – we only serve ourselves.

Having served in a number of most difficult calling and been released should create in your heart the attitude and willingness to say to that person that follows you in such a calling to say, “How can I help you?” It is not the calling that overwhelms us but the feeling that no one cares or is willing to help.

Perhaps – even on this forum we should make a greater effort to communicate that our purpose is to help those that stand in need. To all that serve in their calling with sacrifice and despite great personal difficulty I give my thanks, honor and love. I want you to know that through my entire life it is people like you that have made a difference in my life – It is because of saints like yourself than I have found greater strength within myself. And yes I was the boy in primary that was impossible.

The Traveler

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I have heard more than one Church member say they felt overloaded with Church duties. They said they feel they are neglecting their families.

Makes me think of a camel carrying straw. Is Home Teaching that one straw too many?

At times it is true. The sad aspect to any leadership position is loosing one's family and still continuing in the work of the Lord. There is line that should be always drawn when it comes to priorities and duties in this life.

If home teaching is done as a true servant to the family than a number on a monthly list, then there is no need to work or fret if you missed a month. I have and it really does not matter as long you know the continuous status of your assigned families. Numbers are great for stat and for those who seek to bring honor unto themselves. But for me, it is the family that is major objective and not the number.

Why should a camel carry a straw when the camel can wear a soda hat. ^_^

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This reminded me of the Bishops wife saying in her testimony today how she thought it would be easier having 50 babies than being the wife of a Bishop. I looked at the Bishops face and I could tell he was getting a wakeup call to spend more time at home and less at the chapel.

Wow, I never felt that way when I was wife to the bishop (he just got released this week). I kept waiting for things to get really bad and lonesome but they never did. I only felt blessed. Guess I lucked out.

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I have heard more than one Church member say they felt overloaded with Church duties. They said they feel they are neglecting their families.

Makes me think of a camel carrying straw. Is Home Teaching that one straw too many?

Why, of all the varying functions of the Church, did you pick Home Teaching as the "final straw"? IMO- and the opinion of every bishop and stake president I've talked to about home teaching- it is one of THE most important callings we're given, because it is one of the most effective ways we can minister to our fellow man and give service that is truly needed. If anything, it should be viewed as one of the first pieces of straw ever put on the camel's back.

BTW, if we don't carry heavy loads, we never grow stronger. I think it's when we're carrying loads so heavy we think we can't move farther that we rely on the LORD the most.

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Why Home Teaching as the last straw? Well, because Home Teaching is constantly being talked about and pressed upon membership of the church.

I have not Home Taught in a long time, personally. I get home taught on occasion, but if they dont come then that is ok with me. I dont take the Home Teaching program personally. I am a truly selfish individual with my time. That is the reason why. I dont really try to hide it.

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