Is it wrong...


Debs
 Share

Recommended Posts

to wish to marry someone who lives in the country you want to move to?

i'm not really into this online/long distance relationship thing but after opting to stay single for quite a long time now i feel like i'm now ready to move on but i have also decided to work on moving to where i ultimately want to live, in the states. but i'm cautious to mention this to anyone (guys) because i am aware it could come across like i am looking for an easy route, and that is far from the truth.

so i got to thinking....should i put off dating till i'm there or should i start here and see what happens or should i just begin possible foundational friendships till i get there? i'm looking for opinions, mine are awol right now so a fresh brain would be most welcome!

i'm 41 and divorced and being pretty well balanced none of my choices are light and definitely not ones i'm jumping in to, just processing.

thanks

debs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

to wish to marry someone who lives in the country you want to move to?

i'm not really into this online/long distance relationship thing but after opting to stay single for quite a long time now i feel like i'm now ready to move on but i have also decided to work on moving to where i ultimately want to live, in the states. but i'm cautious to mention this to anyone (guys) because i am aware it could come across like i am looking for an easy route, and that is far from the truth.

so i got to thinking....should i put off dating till i'm there or should i start here and see what happens or should i just begin possible foundational friendships till i get there? i'm looking for opinions, mine are awol right now so a fresh brain would be most welcome!

i'm 41 and divorced and being pretty well balanced none of my choices are light and definitely not ones i'm jumping in to, just processing.

thanks

debs

Is this individual a member of the church?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Of course you want to develop a relationship with somebody that shares a future with you - if your future is in the States, then that's where your sights should be.

I have to say though, "looking for a guy", is not my deal. I like it better when I meet somebody in the course of my day-to-day life that I find is a very good friend and have that develop into something more. When one is looking for a guy, it tends to blind them to certain warning bells. But, that's just me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi guys

thanks for your feedback..........and the chuckles too!!

im not actively looking for a guy to date, just more open to possibilities with someone who is of the faith. thankfully uk is still not a 3rd world country but on saying that if our government dont make up who is leading us we could well be!!! hahahaha

seriously, there isnt any one guy in mind, just that i am toying with the idea of joining a dating site. i dont want to appear conceited or underhanded in a profile so till i figure out what would be the best route, in in truth the most direct but sincere, i am just in the thinking stage.

good job eternity has no end cos my thinking time requires 'no end'!!! hahahaha

im not in a hurry to date again, as i said before, im just opening my mind to it now. i did date a really nice guy for awhile but it didnt work out, thats kinda how i realised i'm ready for the next part of life again...

thanks again for taking the time to reply :)

debs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is the EXACT opinion i am trying to avoid someone thinking!!!

At 41 i am not stupid or selfish enough to marry for any other reason and DEFINITELY not for entry to another country. I have had those opportunities and refused for obvious reasons.

I think you may have TOTALLY misunderstood my original questions John Doe.

Thanks for replying anyway

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's unlikely anyone who legally lives in the UK is going to go to the point of marrying someone in order to gain citizenship in the USA. Yeah, the USA may be appealing to some people, just like the UK is appealing to some American citizens. However economy wise, the two countries are very similar. There is no vital reason why anyone would have to leave the UK, therefore I think John Doe should be a little more suspicious about someone who comes from a place where they might actually have a very valid reason to want to leave their own country, rather than immediately assuming anyone who wants to move to the USA is willing to marry in order to gain citizenship to do so.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I wouldn't worry too much about people thinking that... At least not people who know the law. Its almost impossible to marry for a green card these days. I would say wait until you are over here, and then form a relationship. You are obviously going to come here legally, so no worries there. As long as you don't over-stay whatever visa you have.

As for other people's concerns on "green card marriages"--- Don't worry.

They have it set up now to where being married to a U.S. citizen is not enough... You STILL have to have your own good-standing status with immigration, on your own, without your American spouse-- or you will most likely be denied a green card. Seriously, there are tons of American women over here who married foreign men, and have 2 or 3 kids with him, and the government STILL deported the husband, just because he didn't have his own good status, without his wife.

Its so silly how people see an illegal immigrant here, and they worry that they will try to "marry an American for a green card". lol. That can no longer be done. Back in 2000, they abolished the law which stated that simply being married to an American gives you the right to live here... That's no longer true. So basically, if an immigrant comes in here illegally-- or if they come here legally, but they over stay, and their visa expires-- that person CANNOT get a green card simply by marrying a U.S. citizen. Just living in the USA without status makes you subject to the "ten-year-ban" . Meaning that if they discover you, you will be deported, and you will not be allowed to come back into the United States again, or apply for another Visa/green card for ten years. Regardless of weather you have family here.

The government does not care about love, family ties, or the sanctity of marriage. That does not impress them in the least bit. They only care about legal status.

The only way you can use marriage to get in here now, is if the American citizen files for a "Fiancee Visa" for you before you enter the United states. That will give you permission to come here. Then you will have a certain amount of time to marry that person, or you will have to leave. Or you can marry the American citizen over in your country, but they may have to come home without you, because you will still have to apply for a Marriage Visa, and wait for it to be approved, before you can come over. Or you can get your own visa by yourself, then come to America, marry them, and then apply for a marriage Visa. But in that case, you will have to do so before your visa expires. And you may still have to leave and go back home and wait, until your marriage Visa is completed. Then of course, after all that, they are going to put you through the ringer in matters of surprise inspections to see if you're actually living together--- interviews (talking to your neighbors, friends, and family about your union), testing to see how much you know about each other, etc. Its a real pain, lol.

I no longer suspect any immigrants of this, because its so impossible, and its just not worth it.

Edited by Melissa569
Link to comment
Share on other sites

LM's rule of thumb for internet relationships:

Until you actually see the person in the flesh, assume they are a lying kidnapping pimply-14-yr-old-boy stalker molester alien multi-level-marketing-huckster brain inside a jar.

You're stalking me aren't you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share