Can a divorced girl go on a mission?

[tizzyk]

Hi...I don't know if anyone has had a similar situation to this...but I thought maybe someone would know.

Okay...I've been divorced now for a couple of months. My husband just woke up one day and decided to leave me and the church. Imagine my surprise....

But anyway....I really feel like I want to go on a mission. I understand there is some sort of waiting period that one has to wait after being divorced before you can go on a mission...but I was wondering if anyone knew how long that was, or even why that was?

Well anyway I wasn't planning on going for another year and a half...but I really want to go...sometime. I plan on talking to the bishop and asking him about it....but I was just wondering if any of you had anything that would be helpful for me...has anyone gone through this before?

Also...I know that it costs like 7000 dollars to go on a mission...or something like that...does the church help with that at all...or do you have to find all the money somehow yourself. I was planning on saving as much as I could...but I can't seem to get a job with this economy. So I'm not sure how much I can save.

But I really have a desire to serve. I don't know if it will work out for me though...I suppose I will settle for going on splits with the sister missionaries or something if I have to.

But anyway, any advice, anyone could give me that would be great. Especially if someone went through what I've gone through before....perhaps you could tell me how long it took before you were allowed to go on a mission. I don't know...let me know. .

[pam]

Nope. Though you can later in life either as a single sister or with a spouse.

Someone can tell me I'm wrong but that is my understanding.

[tizzyk]

well that sucks. Well I talked to my bishop and the last week he said that there is a time limit...and it would be "a while"...and he emphasized "a while"...so I really didn't know what that meant...if that meant like a year...or several years...or what? .......but if it is the case where a divorced person...who has no children....and no other responsibilities....would be denied the chance to go on a mission just because she happened to be married at one time, ....why on earth would that be? What is the reason? I mean it's not that I'm too old to go on a mission. I am only 22. In fact if I never got married in the first place, I would have no troubles going on a mission. So why is that because I was married and divorced that I can't go on a mission? ..... am I being punished for being married, or punished for getting a divorce? ....it doesn't seem very fair.....if I didn't do anything wrong, if I didn't break any kind of religious rule...if I am a righteous young women who does her best to always strive to do what is right...and if I really have a desire to serve...why should I be denied going on a mission simply because I have been divorced???

It doesn't seem right. :'(

[volgadon]

You can go, it just isn't standard operating procedure. You probably won't be able to, but you might.

[pam]

well that sucks. Well I talked to my bishop and the last week he said that there is a time limit...and it would be "a while"...and he emphasized "a while"...so I really didn't know what that meant...if that meant like a year...or several years...or what? .......but if it is the case where a divorced person...who has no children....and no other responsibilities....would be denied the chance to go on a mission just because she happened to be married at one time, ....why on earth would that be? What is the reason? I mean it's not that I'm too old to go on a mission. I am only 22. In fact if I never got married in the first place, I would have no troubles going on a mission. So why is that because I was married and divorced that I can't go on a mission? ..... am I being punished for being married, or punished for getting a divorce? ....it doesn't seem very fair.....if I didn't do anything wrong, if I didn't break any kind of religious rule...if I am a righteous young women who does her best to always strive to do what is right...and if I really have a desire to serve...why should I be denied going on a mission simply because I have been divorced???

It doesn't seem right. :'(

Sheesh chill out. I said that was MY understanding.

[pam]

This same question was just brought up a month ago.

http://www.lds.net/forums/missionary-work/31515-can-divorced-female-go-mission.html

Edited May 17, 2010 by pam

[golflovingpres]

Accordling to the current handbook of instructions (which is as official as it comes!) a divorced person either male or females is not NORMALLY recommended to serve a mission. That means that the door is not totally closed, but it will take a review by the first presidency to make it happen. I don't know the reason why this is the case, but remember that the church has a LONG history of experience in these matters. It stands to reason that many people in your situation have had difficulty fulfilling a mission for one reason or another so the brethren have decided to be cautious in this area.

So when your bishop tells you that it could be "a while" what you most likely need to do is wait "a while". In the meantime, prepare yourself, get a job and earn some money, and be persistent in talking with your bishop about your desires. If you are sincere and if your reasons to go are good enough he might, through the inspiration he is entitled to, recommend you to serve a mission. Then the recommendation will have to follow the regular channels.

There are no guarantees here, just as there are none for anyone submitting mission papers. And, yes, a mission is costly. $400 per month for 18 months, in your case. The church normally requires the missionary or the family to pay that cost. Wards and/or stakes can sometimes help, but that is difficult as it requires others to donate to your mission. If you can earn the money you should. If your family can help, they should. Talk with your bishop about that as well.

I hope this helps. Lord bless you, sister! It seems that your heart is in the right place.

[hordak]

well that sucks. Well I talked to my bishop and the last week he said that there is a time limit...and it would be "a while"...and he emphasized "a while"...so I really didn't know what that meant...if that meant like a year...or several years...or what? .......but if it is the case where a divorced person...who has no children....and no other responsibilities....would be denied the chance to go on a mission just because she happened to be married at one time, ....why on earth would that be? What is the reason? I mean it's not that I'm too old to go on a mission. I am only 22. In fact if I never got married in the first place, I would have no troubles going on a mission. So why is that because I was married and divorced that I can't go on a mission? ..... am I being punished for being married, or punished for getting a divorce? ....it doesn't seem very fair.....if I didn't do anything wrong, if I didn't break any kind of religious rule...if I am a righteous young women who does her best to always strive to do what is right...and if I really have a desire to serve...why should I be denied going on a mission simply because I have been divorced???

It doesn't seem right. :'(

I would think it is because the purpose of a mission is to serve. The church doesn't want people to forgo a mission for marriage then go because it didn't work out, they have nothing else to do etc. I'm not saying this is your reasoning but by "banning" the divorced (with the exception of first presidency review) they can prevent this sort of thing.

[Hemidakota]

Hi...I don't know if anyone has had a similar situation to this...but I thought maybe someone would know.

Okay...I've been divorced now for a couple of months. My husband just woke up one day and decided to leave me and the church. Imagine my surprise....

But anyway....I really feel like I want to go on a mission. I understand there is some sort of waiting period that one has to wait after being divorced before you can go on a mission...but I was wondering if anyone knew how long that was, or even why that was?

Well anyway I wasn't planning on going for another year and a half...but I really want to go...sometime. I plan on talking to the bishop and asking him about it....but I was just wondering if any of you had anything that would be helpful for me...has anyone gone through this before?

Also...I know that it costs like 7000 dollars to go on a mission...or something like that...does the church help with that at all...or do you have to find all the money somehow yourself. I was planning on saving as much as I could...but I can't seem to get a job with this economy. So I'm not sure how much I can save.

But I really have a desire to serve. I don't know if it will work out for me though...I suppose I will settle for going on splits with the sister missionaries or something if I have to.

But anyway, any advice, anyone could give me that would be great. Especially if someone went through what I've gone through before....perhaps you could tell me how long it took before you were allowed to go on a mission. I don't know...let me know. .

To be blunt, the answer is no. But, your heart is the right place and the Lord will bless you for it.

[Wingnut]

This same question was just brought up a month ago.

http://www.lds.net/forums/missionary-work/31515-can-divorced-female-go-mission.html

Pam, I was going to go look this one up too, but you beat me. :)

That thread starts out with a lot of people's guesses, but to the OP, I'd refer you specifically to this post within that thread:

Men ages 19 - 25 and women ages 21 - 39 who have been divorced are not normally recommended for missionary service.

(Emphasis mine -- it doesn't say "no not ever" but the wording is strong.)

[WmLee]

golflovingpres had it right! If you really want to serve a mission, perpare yourself and take the mission prep classes, once or twice, and start saving money. If, in about a year or so, you have shown self control (financially) and you've demonstrated your desire, you might be serving one day!! Good luck.

[rameumptom]

I also suggest you talk to the bishop of possibly serving as a ward missionary, where you can serve in your own ward right now.

[Snow]

Hi...I don't know if anyone has had a similar situation to this...but I thought maybe someone would know.

Brigham Young was divorced and they let him be prophet so you'd think so.

[Wingnut]

Brigham Young was divorced and they let him be prophet so you'd think so.

Yeah, but he was still married like 20 other times.

[tizzyk]

Thanks guys....I'll do just that....prepare and see where life (and the Lord) takes me . thanks for all your comments.

[Moksha]

Seems that those with the religious commitment to serve a mission and the physical and mental wellness to do so, should be allowed to serve a mission.

Of course, if the Church felt a need to cut back the number of missionaries as may be the case, then such disallowances could make sense.

[baver3]

I would echo the same thing as golflovingpres and just go and try to get a job and start preparing. You never know what the Lord has in store for you. I think as long as you have the desire and you are preparing that the blessings you need will come.

You bishop told you, 'a while'. He didnt say NO. So just stay hopeful with that. You very well may get permission from the first presidency. You may just be that person that has the perfect situation to serve and you are right you did NOTHING wrong.

Stay faithful and keep the hope that you can go. I think it would serve you well to go ahead and start doing all you can to save money for your mission and start doing those things you can to prepare.

[momoftwobabies]

I actually know of a girl who was married and divorced cause of an abusive relationship and went on a mission! She was a little older than you too. I don't know what the rules are for that, but I know it can happen because I've seen it happen.

[Carl62]

Tizzyk, I really hope you do get the chance to go because your heart really does seem to be in the right place. Isn't it ironic that someone who really does have the desire to go may very well end up getting rejected as opposed to some of those who are accepted and are going only because mommy and daddy agreed to buy them a new car or pay for their college.

[Fuzzywuzzy]

I know a divorced and single mother who went on a mission. However, depends on the circumstances, the church determines whether or not she will go on a mission. If I were you, I would discuss it with stake president.

[pam]

I find it difficult to believe or understand that the Church would allow a single mother to go on a mission.

[Fuzzywuzzy]

This single mother was in early 20s at the time. She is still not allowed to see her twins due to the court's decision. She had cried her eyes out, and it was very difficult for her. Plus she lives in an out of country. Her ex husband (American) has a full custody of twins here in the US.

[pam]

Thanks for the clarification.

[carlimac]

I don't know if anything has changed but my first companion in the mission field in the early 1980s was a 27 yr old divorced woman from the US. She didn't tell me anything about it for a long time (either right before she got transferred or even after our missions- can't remember). She was a great missionary and eventually got married again in her 30s.

Edited May 25, 2010 by carlimac

[Hemidakota]

It would of require the First Presidency permission.