Hopeless case here. . .


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I'm quite certain that I'm a hopeless case when it comes to dating, much less marriage. I'm 24, never been on a date, and will likely never be able to. But I figured I'd post what's called 'stats' here and just hope.

I'm 24, as I've said, and I'm a writer. I haven't published much, but I hope to soon. I am unable to hold down a regular job, and one of the reasons is because I have a form of Autism. I'm up front about having Asperger's Syndrome, since I don't like to lie to people.

Recently I learned about some kind of group or blog on Facebook that warns women that Autism equals very bad things. Its one of the reasons I'm not too sure about ever getting into a relationship.

I'm a bit of a romantic, but I don't have a lot of money. (I'm on SSI and living in my parents basement). I can't say I'm mister emotional, since I don't like showing it too often. I'm a very extreme individual, so if I get into a serious relationship, I'll be more open with my feelings, but before that point I'll be very stand-offish.

I live in Logan, Utah and can't drive. Literally, if I get to 25 mph while behind the wheel I freeze and my foot becomes a brick.

I don't like to see guys who practically undress a woman with thier eyes. Its very offensive to me to see such antics, and I've told off my friends a fair few times, even if they insist that women don't mind it. I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to wanting to date, since I can't drive but have this idea in my head that the guy MUST do everything. In a way, I think that stamps over a woman's independence, and I don't like the idea of doing that.

If anyone likes what I had to say, and wants to talk more via email, contact me at JDBentz(at)gmail(dot)com.

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There is good news for you, my friend:

Nobody is a hopeless case. There's somebody out there for everyone. Autism is a tricky one, depending on how severe the autism is. It doesn't sound like it's really bad in you, so it's possible you can overcome that. A friend of mine has moderate Asperger's and has dated

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Thanks. Just a bit hard to feel as though I'm gonna be able to date when I tend to run from the very thought of asking a young woman out on a date. Only been able to do it twice, and both times they had boyfriends. I'm glad to hear that your friend can date; gives some hope here.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Same way JDBentz, I have a form of Ausbergers and it seems most girls I encounter think I am stupid or downright "retarded"...I tried dating a girl once but she kept blowing me off every time I tried to take her somewhere, and the fact that I am really shy doesn't help the traditional fact that I have to sometimes feel "stupid" when trying to have a conversation with the opposite gender.

By now I am 21 and haven't been on a date either, which is somewhat ironic seeing how romantic people think I am.

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Tips for aspie guys to get their first date - Love and Dating

Have you aspies tried this link? I have two aspies in my family. I hope this helps you. There may be some social cues you are missing that just need spelled out or maybe some things you can do to sharpen up your looks or something to attract a girl.

I know one family member that I have, who is an aspie, never goes to socialize at church or anywhere else, but is lonely and wishes she had a boyfriend. She did had boyfriends when she was in high school and college, but as the years have rolled by and she is either at home or at work or online, she is not making opportunities to even meet a real human.

Edited by crazypotato
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I know one family member that I have, who is an aspie, never goes to socialize at church or anywhere else, but is lonely and wishes she had a boyfriend. She did had boyfriends when she was in high school and college, but as the years have rolled by and she is either at home or at work or online, she is not making opportunities to even meet a real human.

You're a potato. I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I say that the church doesn't sanction spud-human relationships, no matter how tasty the french fry.

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You're a potato. I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I say that the church doesn't sanction spud-human relationships, no matter how tasty the french fry.

Funky,

I went to Texas Roadhouse Grill restaurant here in the states and had a steak and baked potato last night. It was loaded with butter, sour cream, bacon bits and salt. Yummy! I guess I am a temptress!

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I'm quite certain that I'm a hopeless case when it comes to dating, much less marriage. I'm 24, never been on a date, and will likely never be able to. But I figured I'd post what's called 'stats' here and just hope.

I'm 24, as I've said, and I'm a writer. I haven't published much, but I hope to soon. I am unable to hold down a regular job, and one of the reasons is because I have a form of Autism. I'm up front about having Asperger's Syndrome, since I don't like to lie to people.

Recently I learned about some kind of group or blog on Facebook that warns women that Autism equals very bad things. Its one of the reasons I'm not too sure about ever getting into a relationship.

I'm a bit of a romantic, but I don't have a lot of money. (I'm on SSI and living in my parents basement). I can't say I'm mister emotional, since I don't like showing it too often. I'm a very extreme individual, so if I get into a serious relationship, I'll be more open with my feelings, but before that point I'll be very stand-offish.

I live in Logan, Utah and can't drive. Literally, if I get to 25 mph while behind the wheel I freeze and my foot becomes a brick.

I don't like to see guys who practically undress a woman with thier eyes. Its very offensive to me to see such antics, and I've told off my friends a fair few times, even if they insist that women don't mind it. I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to wanting to date, since I can't drive but have this idea in my head that the guy MUST do everything. In a way, I think that stamps over a woman's independence, and I don't like the idea of doing that.

If anyone likes what I had to say, and wants to talk more via email, contact me at JDBentz(at)gmail(dot)com.

Some interesting stories: Meridian Magazine :: Family Connections: I'm Single! I'm Happy! And You Can Be Too!

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  • 11 months later...

My sister was diagnosed with Autistm so I know what you're going through.

That bein said... there's hope. My sister is no longer Autistic.

Perhaps you believe that you have to suffer from Autism all of your entire life. I don't believe it.

While some people may persist in the idea that Autism is incurable, I'm here to say otherwise. Nothing is impossible with the Lord nor is there any disease known to man that he is powerless against.

There are treatment options that deal with the cause of Autism rather than the suppression or treatment of the symptoms.

If you want to hear more about what we did for my sister and the changes in her life, message me.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 7 months later...

I've gone on dates with guys who have aspergers or were timid. Sure, I had to be the one to ask them, but after the first two waves of awkwardness, we had tons of fun with thought-provoking conversations about criminal psychology and precisely how and why Miyazaki movies are the best things since sliced bread. Suave, smooth dudes are overrated, and tend to have a short attention-span.

So don't worry, there are girls out there who have a taste for guys like you, even if it takes a little looking to find them. If you get some meddling friends, I'm sure they'll eventually find you a girl with a good head on her shoulders. G'luck!

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you sound like you're religious and spiritual..listen, don't be so hard on yourself, you have great qualities going your way, your young and single, your gilrie will come your way, who knows maybe she's got some other emotional distrtion in her life as well...anwyay. never lose hope.

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