Breastfeeding in LDS Meetings

[Suzie]

We may not agree with what are bishops say, but it is our responsibility to listen and heed their council. He may have a perspective on the matter that you don't. Some people may have complained about the act. He needs to take the concerns of others in consideration. The last thing we need is our priesthood holders to lose the spirit of the sacrament over an exposed breast.

So because a few people have complained about it, she has to heed to his council in how and where she should feed her own child? Priesthood holders losing the spirit of the sacrament because a MOTHER IS FEEDING her child? Ridiculous.

[johnnylingo]

Yes, my husband feels this is entirely ridiculous also and has no intention of standing guard!

m

It is your family, and your child- not the bishop's. I would politely explain to him not only the law, but also your personal reasons for not running to a closet every time your child needs to eat.

[applepansy]

I would like to offer one suggestion. Call the Secretary to the Bishop and request an appointment prior to meetings. Bishops are usually very busy on Sunday. That way you can have a calm discussion with him and give him the copy of the law privately. Handing it to him in a hall full of members could be problematic and won't help your cause even if he is breaking a law.

Good Luck and best wishes.

[JasonK]

So because a few people have complained about it, she has to heed to his council in how and where she should feed her own child? Priesthood holders losing the spirit of the sacrament because a MOTHER IS FEEDING her child? Ridiculous.

Get a clue. We are talking about boys 12 years of age. Do you really want to pretend that the concept doesn't exist? I'll let you in on something; National Geographic was a big hit with the boys when I was 12. You ladies can either go place your head in the sand and pretend the mere notion of a 12 year old boy who holds the priesthood is above such thoughts, or wake up! Gimme a break... room full of blinded whiners.

[Elgama]

Get a clue. We are talking about boys 12 years of age. Do you really want to pretend that the concept doesn't exist? I'll let you in on something; National Geographic was a big hit with the boys when I was 12. You ladies can either go place your head in the sand and pretend the mere notion of a 12 year old boy who holds the priesthood is above such thoughts, or wake up! Gimme a break... room full of blinded whiners.

or maybe we can start expecting more from our boys and teaching them better. Fact is young men get used to it, Breasts are not seen in the same way in cultures where breastfeeding in public is normal. And why don;t we have a lounge for priesthood holders that cant cope with breastfeeding? or maybe they can go and sit in the back of the toilets.

Whilst I fully expect my boys to be slightly titillated I would also expect them to learn that when they are aroused by a woman how to control themselves and their own thoughts.

I find it very difficult when as LDS we are supposed to be chaste we have such a low opinion of our men and their abilities to behave. Fact is if someone is titilated by someone feeding their baby, its the person who has the perception that is breaking the law of chastity the Mother is feeding her baby.

[Suzie]

Get a clue. We are talking about boys 12 years of age. Do you really want to pretend that the concept doesn't exist? I'll let you in on something; National Geographic was a big hit with the boys when I was 12. You ladies can either go place your head in the sand and pretend the mere notion of a 12 year old boy who holds the priesthood is above such thoughts, or wake up! Gimme a break... room full of blinded whiners.

How old are you? What you're saying makes no sense. Your statement that our priesthood holders may lose the spirit of the sacrament over an "exposed breast" shows a total lack of maturity over the NATURAL act of breastfeeding. I said is ridiculous because in your mind, the lady is not feeding her baby but simply pulling out a boob when clearly the person who opened the thread said she covers herself when she feeds her child. I hope you was bottle fed as a child because clearly you're either too young to understand the concept of what breastfeeding is about or there are some other issues. I don't pretend that the "concept" does not exist, what I am saying is if anyone gets turn on by seeing a woman breastfeeding a baby, the issue is not with the woman but with the person. They need some therapy.

[pam]

Get a clue. We are talking about boys 12 years of age. Do you really want to pretend that the concept doesn't exist? I'll let you in on something; National Geographic was a big hit with the boys when I was 12. You ladies can either go place your head in the sand and pretend the mere notion of a 12 year old boy who holds the priesthood is above such thoughts, or wake up! Gimme a break... room full of blinded whiners.

Jason, I could respect your opinion in what you have said and somewhat agree with it. What I would please ask, is that you show some respect to the women on this site and refrain from insulting them.

Ladies let's also keep in mind that this is an important subject to many women who nurse their babies and would like the respect to do it where they may. So let's please respect the leaders who may have made a decision in the matter. Until she speaks to her Bishop we have NO idea where his thoughts or his reasoning lie.

[Wingnut]

...what I am saying is if anyone gets turn on by seeing a woman breastfeeding a baby, the issue is not with the woman but with the person. They need some therapy.

As I said in a previous post, it's not always necessarily that one is aroused by an exposed breast, but that the exposure can be quite distracting to many, though in a non-sexual way. A thing doesn't have to be bad or evil to draw us away from the Spirit. It just has to distract us enough. And while I agree with you that the problem lies with the one who is distracted, if there are enough people complaining about a distraction, that's something to look into.

[Guest]

My advice to you women...

Nursing a baby is hard enough. Having to worry about 12 year old boys or even 40-year-old-acting-like-12-year-old boys makes it worse. The only way I was able to persevere through breastfeeding is when my brother bopped me in the head at McDonald's and exclaimed, feed that danged child! I was wanting to go back to the car to feed the baby, I couldn't use the blanket in Florida - too hot. I was literally crying trying to figure out how to feed the baby discreetly through my nursing top, nursing garments, and nursing bra at McDonald's. My brother told me nobody cares if you feed your baby. I'm sure he was just saying that to make me feel better, but I pretended like it was fact. And from then on, breastfeeding started to become a joy.

You know why most Americans do not breastfeed their children? This thread gives you the answer.

Fact: It is illegal to breastfeed a baby in public in China. It is a regular occurence to see breastfeeding in public in the Philippines.

But, since the OP's case is a "mandate" from the bishop, you can't just "do your thing anyway". You have to express your frustration to the bishop and hopefully both of you can come up with an acceptable solution. Methinks the bishop here (or Stake presidency if it goes that far) may have heard the spirit wrong. Or maybe the spirit is trying to test the both of you on something completely unrelated to breastfeeding - like maybe a lesson in sustaining priesthood authority or some such. Because, as far as breastfeeding goes, that's pretty much cut and dried.

Edited July 7, 2010 by anatess

[Maureen]

As I said in a previous post, it's not always necessarily that one is aroused by an exposed breast, but that the exposure can be quite distracting to many, though in a non-sexual way. A thing doesn't have to be bad or evil to draw us away from the Spirit. It just has to distract us enough. And while I agree with you that the problem lies with the one who is distracted, if there are enough people complaining about a distraction, that's something to look into.

If that is the case, then it's probably a recent distraction, since the OP's regular ward members didn't seem to have a problem with the breastfeeding until the Stake leader came for a visit.

M.

[maureenjscott]

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with that from your bishop. He legally can't ask you to leave or cover up. I've dealt with similar issues in the past and have blogged about them a few times. the bee in your bonnet: Modesty and Breastfeeding

the bee in your bonnet: Inquisition Monday

the bee in your bonnet: Keepin' on

I hope those help you! Keep on giving your baby the best!

TopHat - you are awesome!

All the thoughts i've had since Sunday and many more.

thank you

mo x

[Suzie]

But, since the OP's case is a "mandate" from the bishop, you can't just "do your thing anyway".

I suppose that's the point. Since when does a Bishop or any other leader for that matter has the right to tell you as a mother when or where to feed your own child? I am very surprised some of you think he does, it's a little concerning specially when the person who opened the thread clearly said she covers herself so she is not exposing anything. That's clearly stepping boundaries IMO.

[Elgama]

As I said in a previous post, it's not always necessarily that one is aroused by an exposed breast, but that the exposure can be quite distracting to many, though in a non-sexual way. A thing doesn't have to be bad or evil to draw us away from the Spirit. It just has to distract us enough. And while I agree with you that the problem lies with the one who is distracted, if there are enough people complaining about a distraction, that's something to look into.

thing is if it would be allowed to become normal it wouldn't be a distraction. A new member in a small branch is a distraction but I wouldn't advocate the missionaries not bringing a new person to church for sacrament or people passing on holiday not coming in. Over time they become part of the furniture.

[maureenjscott]

Just some musings on what i've read today....

Yes, I agree that it could be a distraction but as someone said, the more people doing it, the more 'normal' it becomes, it stops being a distraction and and becomes the 'norm' which is what it should be.

I must admit my siblings and I always loved the national geographic when we were impressionable youngsters and now with the wide accessibility of the internet, those impressionable youngsters of today have potentially an unlimited supply of titilating imagery. As I have reiterated a few times, I am discreet and barely show anything, even when not feeding i'm conscious of neckline etc and endevour never to show much of anything. We are a small ward only 3 young men and believe me, they dont have to squint and stare at me in the hopes of catching a tiny glimpse of flesh when some of the young female adults (and the older ones) have far more cleavage on show and tight revealing clothes than i would ever dream of showing in public never mind at Sunday meetings. I think that if he uses modesty as an issue when we discuss this again i will enquire as to when he intends have the same meeting with these women and their parents/husbands/etc!!

Also, as someone said before, my feeling is that if someone is getting something sexual from my feeding my son - is it not them who require counselling and not I?

Thank you again for the positive and the negative comments, I have thought of nothing else since i returned home on Sunday and I'm quite sure it'll be all i can think about till Sunday again- better find half an hour to sort out Sharing Time tho!

mo x

[gabelpa]

Titilating :snicker:

[Guest]

I suppose that's the point. Since when does a Bishop or any other leader for that matter has the right to tell you as a mother when or where to feed your own child? I am very surprised some of you think he does, it's a little concerning specially when the person who opened the thread clearly said she covers herself so she is not exposing anything. That's clearly stepping boundaries IMO.

I truly feel that the issue here is not breastfeeding.

I feel that the issue is really the doctrine of sustaining the priesthood. So, I think it would be very beneficial to Maureen to think outside of breastfeeding (because this is a sensitive issue to her and is clouding the real problem) and tackle this situation in relation to priesthood authority.

So, how about let's think out of breastfeeding and ask ourselves - What if the bishop/stake president asks me to quit my job as a waitress because I have to work Sundays? By law it would be illegal for him to do so. I really need the money and if I quit I could lose my house...

Now, you can argue that the bishop sees that there is much to be gained from keeping the Sabbath holy so it is in your best interest to find another job. That's an easy thing to think about following bishop's counsel.

Now, what if your job does not involve working on Sunday? How would you approach the bishop on addressing this situation?

Does the bishop's priesthood authority include advising you on what job to take or not to take?

If you feel like he is wrong, how do you go about sustaining/unsustaining his priesthood authority?

These are the questions that are at play here. Not breastfeeding.

[Suzie]

I truly feel that the issue here is not breastfeeding.

I feel that the issue is really the doctrine of sustaining the priesthood. So, I think it would be very beneficial to Maureen to think outside of breastfeeding (because this is a sensitive issue to her and is clouding the real problem) and tackle this situation in relation to priesthood authority.

So, how about let's think out of breastfeeding and ask ourselves - What if the bishop/stake president asks me to quit my job as a waitress because I have to work Sundays? By law it would be illegal for him to do so. I really need the money and if I quit I could lose my house...

Now, you can argue that the bishop sees that there is much to be gained from keeping the Sabbath holy so it is in your best interest to find another job. That's an easy thing to think about following bishop's counsel.

Now, what if your job does not involve working on Sunday? How would you approach the bishop on addressing this situation?

Does the bishop's priesthood authority include advising you on what job to take or not to take?

If you feel like he is wrong, how do you go about sustaining/unsustaining his priesthood authority?

These are the questions that are at play here. Not breastfeeding.

Hi anatess, with all due respect the comparisons you are making are non-existen IMO.

Priesthood authority? I am not sure what the topic has to do with Priesthood authority. We are not speaking about a job or something wrong the person is doing . We are speaking about a NATURAL act of FEEDING a baby. I repeat, key word FEEDING, basic RIGHT for ANY child.

Personally, I would be shocked if my Bishop asks me to stop feeding my baby. It is troublesome to read that for some it seems to be an issue of sustaining the Priesthood.

About the job example, the Bishop or Stake President can ask you to quit your job and it will be YOUR choice to do so OR not . After all, it is you who has to pay the bills at the end of the month. You cannot CHOOSE NOT to feed your child at a specific location or time because when your baby is hungry, the NATURAL reaction is to FEED him/her. NO choice to be made unless you want him/her to starve. Can you see how the comparisons really doesn't hold?

About your last question, sustaining does not mean doing everything that HE thinks should be done because with this reasoning, if tomorrow he decides he does not like the color of your dress, would you quickly go and change it so you can "sustaining" him? I mean, let's apply common sense here.

In this case, the mother does what is best for HER child (NOT the Bishop's child).

For me, the issue is simple. There are some people uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public and they don't like to witness it. However, some of these same people don't mind to watch shows where women are clearly exposing themselves or even wear immodest clothing that expose their boobs. Oh the irony!

[Guest]

Hi anatess, with all due respect the comparisons you are making are non-existen IMO.

Priesthood authority? I am not sure what the topic has to do with Priesthood authority. We are not speaking about a job or something wrong the person is doing . We are speaking about a NATURAL act of FEEDING a baby. I repeat, key word FEEDING, basic RIGHT for ANY child.

Personally, I would be shocked if my Bishop asks me to stop feeding my baby. It is troublesome to read that for some it seems to be an issue of sustaining the Priesthood.

About the job example, the Bishop or Stake President can ask you to quit your job and it will be YOUR choice to do so OR not . After all, it is you who has to pay the bills at the end of the month. You cannot CHOOSE NOT to feed your child at a specific location or time because when your baby is hungry, the NATURAL reaction is to FEED him/her. NO choice to be made unless you want him/her to starve. Can you see how the comparisons really doesn't hold?

About your last question, sustaining does not mean doing everything that HE thinks should be done because with this reasoning, if tomorrow he decides he does not like the color of your dress, would you quickly go and change it so you can "sustaining" him? I mean, let's apply common sense here.

In this case, the mother does what is best for HER child (NOT the Bishop's child).

For me, the issue is simple. There are some people uncomfortable about breastfeeding in public and they don't like to witness it. However, some of these same people don't mind to watch shows where women are clearly exposing themselves or even wear immodest clothing that expose their boobs. Oh the irony!

You are completely misunderstanding what I'm trying to say. That's why I suggested to remove the breastfeeding out of the equation and discuss this as what the problem truly is - Priesthood authority or Priesthood keys and how we sustain them.

I am reading your post and seeing that you can replace the word Bishop with Next-Door-Neighbor and there is no difference.

But, the fact that this is a Bishop makes ALL the difference.

Because, this is not a matter of RIGHTS or whatever anymore. This is a matter of "Does a Bishop of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have the Spirit of Discernment or does he not?"

Now, if you think that in this case, he is clearly acting without the spirit of discernment then the question becomes "How do I Sustain/Unsustain a Bishop of the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints?"

As you can see - breastfeeding is completely out of the picture.

[Suzie]

You are completely misunderstanding what I'm trying to say. That's why I suggested to remove the breastfeeding out of the equation and discuss this as what the problem truly is - Priesthood authority or Priesthood keys and how we sustain them.

I am reading your post and seeing that you can replace the word Bishop with Next-Door-Neighbor and there is no difference.

But, the fact that this is a Bishop makes ALL the difference.

Because, this is not a matter of RIGHTS or whatever anymore. This is a matter of "Does a Bishop of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have the Spirit of Discernment or does he not?"

Now, if you think that in this case, he is clearly acting without the spirit of discernment then the question becomes "How do I Sustain/Unsustain a Bishop of the Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints?"

As you can see - breastfeeding is completely out of the picture.

Well, I see it more like you think the Bishop can ask a member absolutely anything and the person must heed to every request no matter what. I guess that's where we disagree.

About your question on sustaining, read my last post. Thanks.

Also, the issue IS indeed breastfeeding so we should keep that topic of the opening thread in mind.

[gabelpa]

Also, the issue IS indeed breastfeeding so we should keep that topic of the opening thread in mind.

More specifically, Breastfeeding in a country where it is a legally protected right. I seem to remember one of the Articles of Faith mentioning something about obeying laws of the land?

[maureenjscott]

Article of Faith : 12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

[lizzy12]

Personally, i would go ahead and keep breastfeeding in the chapel. Your being modest, and reverent.

I plan on breastfeeding during sacrament, as long as its done in the right way.

[Tarnished]

I think sustaining the priesthood is an important thing, but I also think that priesthood members are men and as men can make recommendations based on faulty judgement.

As an example: When I was in college I had a Bishop who claimed to receive personal revalation for every member of his ward. My roommates would go to him on a weekly basis to have their "future's told". When I was dating my husband (boyfriend at that time) I went to the bishop because my roommates had gone to him worried that I was moving too quickly with my boyfriend (we were talking about marriage). The bishop told me that if I married my husband that I would be miserable for the rest of my life, my husband would have many female friends and he would cheat often on me. He told me that all my boyfriend was, was a salesman and that he was selling me a line about wanting to get married. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and later that year getting back together with him. We ended up getting married and nothing that my bishop had told me ever happened. I have been happy with my husband, he has never had any female friends during our marriage and he has been awesome. Not long after that semester that bishop was excommunicated from the church, thereafter he created his own religion where he has set himself up as the prophet of that church.

This is an extreme example, but it just shows that not always are bishops right. We do need to sustain them and support them, but we also need to think on our own and make choices base off our own promptings from the spirit.

My advice would be to pray about the matter, ask for peace and ask for inspiration on how to deal with the matter. Then talk to the bishop based on the promptings that you recieve.

[Suzie]

I think sustaining the priesthood is an important thing, but I also think that priesthood members are men and as men can make recommendations based on faulty judgement.

As an example: When I was in college I had a Bishop who claimed to receive personal revalation for every member of his ward. My roommates would go to him on a weekly basis to have their "future's told". When I was dating my husband (boyfriend at that time) I went to the bishop because my roommates had gone to him worried that I was moving too quickly with my boyfriend (we were talking about marriage). The bishop told me that if I married my husband that I would be miserable for the rest of my life, my husband would have many female friends and he would cheat often on me. He told me that all my boyfriend was, was a salesman and that he was selling me a line about wanting to get married. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and later that year getting back together with him. We ended up getting married and nothing that my bishop had told me ever happened. I have been happy with my husband, he has never had any female friends during our marriage and he has been awesome. Not long after that semester that bishop was excommunicated from the church, thereafter he created his own religion where he has set himself up as the prophet of that church.

This is an extreme example, but it just shows that not always are bishops right. We do need to sustain them and support them, but we also need to think on our own and make choices base off our own promptings from the spirit.

My advice would be to pray about the matter, ask for peace and ask for inspiration on how to deal with the matter. Then talk to the bishop based on the promptings that you recieve.

Excellent post! That's exactly what I was trying to say but you are so much eloquent than I am. Thanks.

[JasonK]

How old are you? What you're saying makes no sense. Your statement that our priesthood holders may lose the spirit of the sacrament over an "exposed breast" shows a total lack of maturity over the NATURAL act of breastfeeding. I said is ridiculous because in your mind, the lady is not feeding her baby but simply pulling out a boob when clearly the person who opened the thread said she covers herself when she feeds her child. I hope you was bottle fed as a child because clearly you're either too young to understand the concept of what breastfeeding is about or there are some other issues. I don't pretend that the "concept" does not exist, what I am saying is if anyone gets turn on by seeing a woman breastfeeding a baby, the issue is not with the woman but with the person. They need some therapy.

Yes, you are right. 12 year old boys should have a greater level of maturity when it comes to an exposed breast. Amazing that all you can do is try and attack me on merits of supposed maturity and wondering whether or not I was breast fed. I am stating obvious truths to women who are clearly unaware of the youthful male mind. I am not personally affected by a mother breastfeeding her child. However, not only was I once a youth, I am also a father. So you can scream and call foul all you want. You can make personal, juvenile attacks on me based in name calling and insults. That does not prove your point that I am wrong. I think you know that I am right, and are annoyed that a woman Can not breastfeed (which, I might add is a beautiful, and natural act that not only affords the child with more nutrition, but helps with a greater lock of bonding between mother and child). Bit this isn't about the mother and her child's comfort. You are asking everyone around you to accept the act, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it might make others feel. You may not be in the U.S. so my statements might make no sense. But to force others to accept your thoughts on your ideas is absurd. And as for whether or not the woman said her breast was covered? I am pretty sure that I made mention in my post that did not know if this was the case. I AM TALKING ABOUT AN EXPOSED BREAST AROUND YOUNG BOYS! Most young boys have a touch of mischievousness. Unless you think they are already at a perfect state-- but then, how could you see them? They would more than likely be translated. I come from a very large family. My mother breast fed. My mother had the good sense of either covering herself up, or excusing herself to a private location.