Breastfeeding in LDS Meetings


maureenjscott
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Jason, I did not call you any names or insult you. If that was the case, one of the moderators would have remove the "name calling" (which did not happen) so please don't say something that never transpired. About the rest of your post (besides the issue that I think you are missing the point entirely) I will only be repeating myself on the issue if I answer again but you can go ahead and read all the views of the other posters after your initial post. Thanks.

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JasonK, it's obvious you haven't read any of the OP's posts or you would already know her situation. Your concern over exposed breasts does not apply to her and her situation. Read her posts and then give advice.

M.

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And as for whether or not the woman said her breast was covered? I am pretty sure that I made mention in my post that did not know if this was the case. I AM TALKING ABOUT AN EXPOSED BREAST AROUND YOUNG BOYS!

And since opening the thread, the OP has clarified that she is fully covered, and her breast is never exposed for view. She has also, in fact, pointed out that while not breastfeeding, she tends to be more modest than the average LDS woman, covering herself up to her neck most of the time.

So you can scream and call foul all you want. You can make personal, juvenile attacks on me based in name calling and insults.

Jason, I did not call you any names or insult you. If that was the case, one of the moderators would have remove the "name calling" (which did not happen) so please don't say something that never transpired. About the rest of your post (besides the issue that I think you are missing the point entirely) I will only be repeating myself on the issue if I answer again but you can go ahead and read all the views of the other posters after your initial post. Thanks.

Jason, if anyone is making "personal, juvenile attacks," it is you. And while Suzie (and others) have disagreed with you, I don't believe anyone has attacked you. Furthermore, Pam (a head moderator), already asked you to tone things down in your posts:

Jason, I could respect your opinion in what you have said and somewhat agree with it. What I would please ask, is that you show some respect to the women on this site and refrain from insulting them.

Ladies let's also keep in mind that this is an important subject to many women who nurse their babies and would like the respect to do it where they may. So let's please respect the leaders who may have made a decision in the matter. Until she speaks to her Bishop we have NO idea where his thoughts or his reasoning lie.

All in all, chill out. Besides, you continue to overlook the fact that in the country in which the OP lives, she cannot legally be asked to remove herself elsewhere -- or even cover up, which she already takes special care to do -- while she breastfeeds. I personally don't think that it's appropriate to breastfeed in a big room full of 100+ people, but the law is the law.

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Yes, you are right. 12 year old boys should have a greater level of maturity when it comes to an exposed breast. Amazing that all you can do is try and attack me on merits of supposed maturity and wondering whether or not I was breast fed. I am stating obvious truths to women who are clearly unaware of the youthful male mind. I am not personally affected by a mother breastfeeding her child. However, not only was I once a youth, I am also a father. So you can scream and call foul all you want. You can make personal, juvenile attacks on me based in name calling and insults. That does not prove your point that I am wrong. I think you know that I am right, and are annoyed that a woman Can not breastfeed (which, I might add is a beautiful, and natural act that not only affords the child with more nutrition, but helps with a greater lock of bonding between mother and child). Bit this isn't about the mother and her child's comfort. You are asking everyone around you to accept the act, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it might make others feel. You may not be in the U.S. so my statements might make no sense. But to force others to accept your thoughts on your ideas is absurd.

"to force others to accept your thoughts on your ideas is absurd."

Really? Isn't that exactly what we're doing when we say women must cover up to breast feed? Isn't that forcing a common cultural standard onto another person who happens to be in the minority? Can we say inconsistency?

But you're right. This isn't about the mother and her child's comfort. It's about good public health policy. Scientific literature is pretty clear that breast feeding yields preferable health outcomes and development than bottle feeding. So much so that the American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends breastfeeding on demand. That means breastfeeding whenever the infant wants to nurse. Seeing as newborns will nurse for between 10 - 20 minutes every three hours, comfort for the mother and child actually does become a big deal for a couple of reasons, but primarily because it's really hard to convince women to breast feed if breast feeding is a huge inconvenience. This is exactly why there is a big push to normalize breast feeding in public in the US...because the medical community wants mothers to breast feed as much as possible.

And as for whether or not the woman said her breast was covered? I am pretty sure that I made mention in my post that did not know if this was the case. I AM TALKING ABOUT AN EXPOSED BREAST AROUND YOUNG BOYS! Most young boys have a touch of mischievousness. Unless you think they are already at a perfect state-- but then, how could you see them? They would more than likely be translated. I come from a very large family. My mother breast fed. My mother had the good sense of either covering herself up, or excusing herself to a private location.

This is equally absurd. If we made all public health decisions based on the maturity level of young boys our civilization would never survive.

What really smells foul about your assertion is that it essentially says we can't change this because that would mean changing the way we think. And God forbid that we admit that we've been thinking about this incorrectly for the last 150 years.

But keep this in mind. If we instituted a policy that women didn't have to cover up to breast feed, we'd have about two years of young boys going berserk about all the exposed boobies. Two years max. by that time, they'd have seen so much of it that they wouldn't care anymore. The only thing shocking about it is that they aren't exposed to it.

But I find the idea that we shouldn't allow society to advance to a better health policy because it conflicts with our ridiculous and puritanical upbringing quite simply adelpated and offensive.

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It won't take two years, reckon it took less than a month here. Plus I still think if we expect better of our boys we will have a better standard of young men. I know men have hormones so do women, but they can learn to control them. I think it actually does boys good to see breasts as there for something more than their pleasure.

I am actually quite upset being the Mother of 2 boys about the way people assume they will be before they even get to adolesence. With LDS having larger than average families more of our young men are familiar with seeing Mums, sisters, etc breastfeeding. Have certainly found that with missionaries from large families have been even more chilled than some women.

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Suzie-- I was only stating the questioning of my maturity. I also have strong opinions on certain subject matters and can get a little caught up in a zealous spirit sometimes. Anyway, I love you all-- even the ones I don't agree with! I am sure their are plenty of other things that we agree on. Adieu

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Thank you to all who have commented in support or otherwise of my situation.

I am trying to compile my arguement and write it all down as I know my emotions will take over on Sunday when I speak with the Bishop. Hopefully, I'll be able to check in here after and let you all know the outcome.

mo x

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

Hi MaureenjScott,

I believe the issue was brought to your Bishop's attention by others who may not feel comfortable enough to come and tell you. Also, I know that the mother's lounge in some wards are very tiny and some branches don't even have the amenity. However, because the mothers lounge is so small-I have breastfed my children right outside the sacrament meeting room with a large blanket over me. However, just keep in mind that the Bishop was only trying to bring something to your attention maybe in the request of others. I have a baby sling that I LOVE to use and I would just wear nursing shirts so that I could put my babies to the breast anytime they needed and I would constantly keep the blanket over my shoulders! Just keep doing what you're doing...Just know the Bishop and his counselors love you and your family and are there to help. Take care!

Aloha, Pixieflower

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I love that you used the word adelpated and believe that scores you 3 points on this thread.

If you can use the words 'Churl' and 'Chancre-blossom' in context, then you will have won the thread, MOE.

I think you mean addlepated and canker blossom. Spell check does wonders.

And an appropriate use of all three words would be something like this.

If this is really about the problems men and boys in that ward have with a mother breastfeeding then I find the addlepated behavior of the men in that ward churlish, acting as if the mother is waving a canker blossom around for all to see.

Getting closer to the subject, I would like to hear what came of the whole matter.

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I think you mean addlepated and canker blossom. Spell check does wonders.

And an appropriate use of all three words would be something like this.

If this is really about the problems men and boys in that ward have with a mother breastfeeding then I find the addlepated behavior of the men in that ward churlish, acting as if the mother is waving a canker blossom around for all to see.

Getting closer to the subject, I would like to hear what came of the whole matter.

Chancre - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Chancre is a syphilitic sore. A chancre-blossom would be a syphilitic sore in full-bloom. I stand by what I said. :P

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Chancre - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Chancre is a syphilitic sore. A chancre-blossom would be a syphilitic sore in full-bloom. I stand by what I said. :P

Well, as Gwen pointed out I guess we are both right, it is interesting to see how language changes and morphs over time. Either way we are both talking about the same thing, a type of sore in full bloom, either way not a pleasant sight.

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Hi. I was having a wonderfully spiritual testimony meeting until my husband and I were called into the Bishop's office after our meetings.

I have a 13week old baby boy. I have breastfed him since he was hours old and for the past 13 weeks I have nursed him during RS meetings on a Sunday, RS activities, Sunday school class, Sacrament meeting (after the Sacrament part of the meeting ie during talks), Stake RS activities, and, as i'm a counsellor in primary, have nursed him during primary. The so-called 'Mother's Lounge' in our building is about the size of a toilet cubicle, attached to the ladies toilets. It has a sink, mirror, fold out changing table and a small fold down 'seat'. Basically making me feel like i'm relegated to a cupboard so I have not used this 'room' for feeding my son.

I am discreet, I sit as far back in the room as possible. I have a 9yo son and 4yo daughter also and so need to be there for them during Sacrament meeting. I live in Scotland and the Law of the Land here states that any person feeding their child by bottle or breast up to the age of 2 cannot be asked to leave, move, stop or cover up - anyone attempting to do this is liable to be fined approx £2500.

I have been a member for 8 years, sealed to my family for almost 5. I think of the members as my family. I have fed all of my children in numerous places over the years - restaurants, buses, trains, parks, cinemas, anywhere we have been and they have needed fed I have done so discreetly and without any fuss or issues from anyone.

Imagine today my shock to be asked by my Bishop to stop feeding my son during meetings!

Are there any sisters out there reading this who can shed some light on practices in your country/stake/ward/branch? Does anyone have any advice on how this could be handled?

Both my husband and I have scoured the internet looking for the Church's take on this and what we can find is that mother's are supported and indeed encouraged by the Church to breastfeed - there are no guidelines as to where or when or how this should be done.

Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks for reading this

maureen

I am going to take a very different approach. This one came from an incident that my wife had with her (now ex) husband when she started breastfeeding their son. He stated that if she could find where Breastfeeding was allowed in the scriptures, then he would believe her.

She provided numerous passages.

I would suggest talking with the Bishopric and Stake Presidency and ask them this one question:

"Show me where in the Church Policy, Standard Works, or General Authority statements that I can't breastfeed my child?"

When they can't prove it, site the article of faith 12

12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

Then show them the law of the land and ask them if they are willing to go against the 12 th article of faith (which is considered scripture) and state that you are to violate the law of the land.

If they have further issues, then state that you feel their position of authority is suspect and you do have the option in not sustaining them when it comes to sustain them as leaders of their respective positions.

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I am going to take a very different approach. This one came from an incident that my wife had with her (now ex) husband when she started breastfeeding their son. He stated that if she could find where Breastfeeding was allowed in the scriptures, then he would believe her.

:eek:

Wow. No wonder they divorced!

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When they can't prove it, site the article of faith 12

12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.

You might also cite the 13th..."If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." There is nothing so praiseworthy to public health policy as breastfeeding.

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I have not read through the various posts, so I may be repeating thoughts. I think men and LDS brothers need to see breasts as not just sexual. If they can be seen -- and if men can re-condition themsevles -- to see breast as feeding for healthy babies -- breastfeeding in public would not be as big a deal as it is. I see this concern located with how men are socialized to think about the female body -- howevr, I do know men that would have a difficult time with women breastfeeding in public. Sadly though, so much of society -- from movies to cosmetic surgery -- focus on breasts as sexual.

Just my 2 cents worth

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  • 2 months later...

I haven't read past the first page admittedly but wanted to share my opinion. I was pretty taken back by the first few posters. You should not feel ashamed or be asked to not *feed* your baby in any of the meetings. Bishops are not perfect and this is one instance where the lines have been crossed. Unfortunately I do know of another sister who in Idaho (she is on the www.mothering.com/discussion boards) was asked by not only her Bishop but by the Stake President to not bf at church, there was a member there who had struggled with pornography and he was having trouble when he saw her and had asked the Bishop to talk to her.

I think that the church is going to have to officially come out with a statement regarding this b/c unfortunately you're obviously not the first one. In "Utah LDS" culture which tends to be USA LDS culture breastfeeding is one of those things that has been done in the nursing room which I think all men should have to go sit through several meetings in there just to see how cramped those rooms are (which makes no sense to me with Mormons having so many babies! ;)). In the US in general breastfeeding is still not the norm unfortunately, kuddos to Scotland where it's seen as more normal. I think it's extremely silly when women leave the RS room to go breastfeed their children. Really? We're all women with the same breasts and yet I've been in a ward in North Carolina where I was the only woman who breastfed in RS. You can't hear the RS meeting or Sunday School meeting in the nursing room.

Also to that second poster who most obviously doesn't seem to have children himself, did you serve a mission? It would be good for the teenage boys to see breastfeeding for what it is and the norm so that they're eyes don't pop out of their heads when they go serve a mission in a 3rd world country and the woman drops off her whole shirt to feed her toddler. I served a mission in the Philippines and it was extremely common to see women bf'ing any place, any time and no one was asked in church or out to stop feeding their baby, it would be utterly ridiculous. The American Elders had to just get over it.

Good luck with the situation. It would be so hard to be in that situation and maintain some charity for the Bishop who yes I believe is 100% wrong and yes it does happen and being a Mormon and supporting someone in their calling does *not* mean to follow blindly esp when you know what they're asking you is wrong.

I would try to address the Stake President and if after you speak with him if he shares the same opinion as the Bishop then I would actually go ahead and write a letter to the church. Imo this is something akin to now having windows on the church doors for Primary teachers, it's just something that's brewing and needs to be addressed. It's not legal for him to have asked you that and it's something that church members need to be more accepting of.

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