Trying a Mens Group

[HoosierGuy]

Has anybody ever had any experience with a group like this - Welcome to the ManKind Project | Changing the world, one man at a time. | Men's Issues | Men's Support | Men's Community

I'm seriously thinking of doing it for the weekend. It's for men only and from what I understand they help me find their masculinity and inner man, or something like that.

They have a sneak peak in a few weeks in Indy and I'm going to go to it. I know someone who went through it and he said it changed his life. He said I should look into it and that it could help me. I have no history with things like this. The one who went through it and said it changed his life is my therapist who I think is really good. He did say he thinks I could get something out of it. I told him my first reaction from the site is - I don't think I have the manly guts for something like this. He said that's exactly why I should attend.

I will never take part in something that I think is a scheme. However from what I have found I can't find too much bad information about it.

I assume there are other groups out there that do similar things. Anybody have experience with something like this?

Thanks

[HoosierGuy]

Well, I sent one email and got three different men replying back to me! lol. All men included phone numbers to call them personally for more information. I like the feedback effort but there is such a thing as too much of a good things. Hmm..... I'll proceed slowly.

[MisterT]

Need support? Join a gym. Take up bowhunting. Try fishing with your hands. Eat a live chicken. Walk up to your best friend and punch him in the shoulder - then if he whines about it punch him in the face. Drink a cocktail of toilet bowl cleaner and dish soap...

Then you'll be a man.

Seriously, I have no experience with those kind of support groups, but I went to a few whiny crybaby one's put on by some veterans groups. "I feel so bad...I wanna cry...My best friends intestines got blown all over my face and lap in Fallujah...I saw little kids shoes fly up in the air when we bombed than mud hut... waa waa waa."

No, I didn't get any benefit from them. I felt those guys should just do like the rest of us; suck it up, literally and from the bottle, kick the wife, slap the cat, throw the kids outside until they stop whining... Eat a box of potato buds (dry), and when you're feeling really bad, strap on all your old armor, helmet, gear, grab a rifle and squat down in the back yard until dawn comes or the sprinkler runs you off.

I went to a divorce support group for awhile after my ex-wife left me. A group called "Divorce Care," sponsored by another church because the LDS faith doesn't have anything like that. Anyway, besides having their obvious religious theology pushed in all aspects of the program, from the organization to the video's and topics for discussion, which is in no way a bad thing; there was nothing offensive about it. It was very lovingly done and designed to help people by giving them the knowledge that God is love and Jesus does truly love them.

People shared things about their week; all the petty nasty things their STBX's were doing, how hard it was to make ends meet, what new drugs their doctor put them on. I just found it impossible to be honest with them. Funtamentally I don't feel I've ever been completely honest with anyone, ever, my whole life. I've always had to reserve parts of myself, bits of information, or reasons for doing things; I don't know why, but I think I learned that as a defense mechanism because of very traumatic events as a young child, teenager, and young man in the Army.

Because I wasn't able to be completely honest with them I don't think I got a lot out of the program. Someone who could be maybe would.

Anyway, I'm not sure what my point was, other than to say perhaps you'll be benefited by the experience; but I'm very suspicious and skeptical of any 'support group' or meeting that's nothing more than a weekend long. Issues of a deem emotional or spiritual nature aren't formed or solved in two days, but over long periods of time after deep introspection, reflection, study, prayer, consultation, and reasoning. But I also see nothing harmful in the idea if it gives you a solid base from where to work towards those things you need help with.

Beware if they want a lot of money; I'm OK if they charge a small fee for meals or materials, but if there's no 'scholarships' or 'grants' for people without the budget for it, I'd probably steer clear as its likely to be a business designed to make money rather than a service to help and care for people.

[Moksha]

Since men do not eat quiche, you need to watch out for eating cigars in their stead. Mormons would find that sinful, while women and children would find that disgusting.

To follow up on MisterT's suggestion, there may well be ongoing men's support groups in your area, if you are so inclined.

[MisterT]

I eat quiche regularly. What's wrong with eating a pie made from egg, cheese, BACON, sometimes vegetables or mushrooms? If it was called Manly Egg Pie, would it somehow be manly to eat, rather than when its called Quiche? The first time I heard anyone make fun of Quiche eating men was Jim Varney as Ernest P. Warrel in his movie Ernest goes to camp, when he spoke about "Men of iron...Men who had never tasted Quiche."

I'd rather have quiche before going on a patrol; besides being really tasty and full of nutrition, protien, calories, and immediately convertable starches; its low.. gas creating, which is good when you're humping the boonies. Crashing through the jungle in big rubber-soled boots with a hundred kilo's of gear and "the Pig" makes enough noise without adding the sound (and smell) of gaseous emanations caused by a lunch of frijoles negros y masa tortilla.

[HoosierGuy]

They all give their phone numbers and encourage me to call. I find that odd. Nice but odd. For $600 they all will to give me attention? I wonder what they would do for $1,000. Hmm, I wonder what they would do if I said - forget the weekend, find me a nice blond girl to date and I'll give you the $600 right now.

[HoosierGuy]

And they reply to my emails quickly. Hmm. I'll visit their sneak peak in Indy a in few weeks and check them out.

[Wingnut]

The church has stuff like "time out for women"... do they have the same sort of thing for guys?

Yeah, it's called the priesthood session of General Conference.

[pam]

They all give their phone numbers and encourage me to call. I find that odd. Nice but odd. For $600 they all will to give me attention? I wonder what they would do for $1,000. Hmm, I wonder what they would do if I said - forget the weekend, find me a nice blond girl to date and I'll give you the $600 right now.

Hmmm wouldn't that be somewhat kind of like an escort service?

[Wingnut]

Hmmm wouldn't that be somewhat kind of like an escort service?

That's what it's sounding like to me...

[FairChild]

I went to a woman's group for a period of time (not RS) amd it changed and greatly improved my life.

[MisterT]

Wait, $600 for what??? Two days of sitting in a seminar? I don't care if they call it "New Warrior Training" or "Next Stupid Sucker Looses His Money;" I pay for service, not to '...stand shoulder to shoulder with a diverse masculine crowd that's as diverse as masculinity...'

You want to be a warrior? Join the Army, Marines. Want to spend 2 years staring at something doing nothing for 12 hours a day? Join the navy and end up a machinists mate watching a shaft for lubrication failures. Want to ride a bike a lot? Join the Air Force and you can haul mail or parcels onto the flightline.

Join an adventure club. Join a fraternity. Heck, join AA or AAA.

But don't give some grifter POS $600 so you can feel like you're a man afterwards... I'd feel like a sucker instead.

[Guest]

MisterT, the man, hear him roar.

I can see you thumping your chest and spitting 20 yards. Take that. Pshaw!

LOL! Just kidding. I totally get you, MisterT. I won't even need to tell my husband about it. I know what exactly he is gonna say - men who need "support groups" are pansies. But then, he's the type who says it like it is, take it or leave it, no skin off his back kinda d00de.

Not that I agree with it. I think it would be cool if he'd go hang out with some men. Then maybe they'll teach him that it's okay to listen patiently when I wake him up at 2AM because I can't sleep and I want to talk. Instead he'd holler - it's 2AM woman! Call your girlfriend so I can go back to sleep! He truly believes if he talks about "feelings" when we're not fighting he will lose his man-card.

I wonder if they cover that in those seminars...

Okay, okay, so I was really thinking about it for me and not for him...

[RanMan]

I eat quiche regularly. What's wrong with eating a pie made from egg, cheese, BACON, sometimes vegetables or mushrooms? If it was called Manly Egg Pie, would it somehow be manly to eat, rather than when its called Quiche? The first time I heard anyone make fun of Quiche eating men was Jim Varney as Ernest P. Warrel in his movie Ernest goes to camp, when he spoke about "Men of iron...Men who had never tasted Quiche."

I'd rather have quiche before going on a patrol; besides being really tasty and full of nutrition, protien, calories, and immediately convertable starches; its low.. gas creating, which is good when you're humping the boonies. Crashing through the jungle in big rubber-soled boots with a hundred kilo's of gear and "the Pig" makes enough noise without adding the sound (and smell) of gaseous emanations caused by a lunch of frijoles negros y masa tortilla.

Because Real Men don't eat quiche. I think it's rule number six in the man book.

[Moksha]

Hmmm wouldn't that be somewhat kind of like an escort service?

Sounds much healthier if you call it escort therapy.

[Guest]

P.S. On a serious note, I think $600 would be worth it for you Hoose with the challenges you are facing these days. I would be interested in finding out what you think of the "sneak peek".

I have a feeling this seminar will define what a MAN truly is. I mean, yeah, we make jokes about Rambo and Dirty Harry and such as being the male poster children. But, I think that's only half the picture. I think that getting the full picture might be something that can get you out of your confusion.

[HoosierGuy]

Sounds much healthier if you call it escort therapy.

Yeah, now it doesn't sound so bad!

[MisterT]

Because Real Men don't eat quiche. I think it's rule number six in the man book.

You and the Author of "The Man Book" are formally invited to meet me outside my house. Bring anything you want; wear anything you want. I'll even let you take the first swing. You might (and likely won't) make contact with your first swing, but I'll let you swing first.

Then after I eat some Quiche I'll come back outside and pick you up out of the dirt, dust you off, and sit you down to tell you what it is, really, to be a man.

[pam]

Sounds much healthier if you call it escort therapy.

Oh please. It is what it is when you are talking about escort services. That's just a way to justify. That's like calling an alcoholic beverage a mixed drink just so you aren't saying it has alcohol in it.

[MisterT]

MisterT, the man, hear him roar.

I can see you thumping your chest and spitting 20 yards. Take that. Pshaw!

I don't need to roar or spit. Yelling unnecessarily is pointless and obnoxious; the only reason to yell is to be heard over loud noises. I never raise my voice, ever, unless its to be heard. The angrier I get, the quieter and more sincere (and severe) I get.

Plus, spitting in unhygenic and spreads disease. I remember seeing an old sign somewhere that read "Gentlemen should not, and all others shall not, spit in public."

LOL! Just kidding. I totally get you, MisterT. I won't even need to tell my husband about it. I know what exactly he is gonna say - men who need "support groups" are pansies. But then, he's the type who says it like it is, take it or leave it, no skin off his back kinda d00de.

By and large I agree with you. There are occasions where its very appropriate for a man to seek out professional intervention though. Instances that include severe emotional trauma or illness, for help with grief due to a severe injury, illness, or death of friends or family, for intervention and help with dependancy on substances, or with immediately ceasing abuse or abusing, and things of that nature.

I believe that it is manly to know when to ask for help, and when to help One's self.

Not that I agree with it. I think it would be cool if he'd go hang out with some men. Then maybe they'll teach him that it's okay to listen patiently when I wake him up at 2AM because I can't sleep and I want to talk. Instead he'd holler - it's 2AM woman! Call your girlfriend so I can go back to sleep! He truly believes if he talks about "feelings" when we're not fighting he will lose his man-card.

I don't have a "man card." I think it got burned about the same time you broads, er, I mean "Dame's," were burning your brassiere's.. Yeah, that's the last thing the world needed; a bunch of ugly broads telling me that they didn't want to sleep with me. Well, who was asking them anyway???

I do think it manly to listen to and openly communicate with your significant other; even when the topic is unimportant (to you) or even droll. A Man does the unpleasant without ever complaining; he endures the unendurable.

[HoosierGuy]

Oh please. It is what it is when you are talking about escort services. That's just a way to justify. That's like calling an alcoholic beverage a mixed drink just so you aren't saying it has alcohol in it.

If I wanted to justify I would say why not since 99% of the politicians have their pretty political interns that they use for physical pleasure and then they have their trophy wives, plus the sports stars who get two women for under $100.00 I look at my money spent on eharmony, therapy, pills, and a possible $600 mens camp; yeah I wonder why I don't just go down the "therapy escort" road. But that's a line I'd rather not cross.

[MisterT]

I've actually employed escorts for formal functions on many occasions. Who wants to go to The Engineer Ball alone? Or to a fomal event by One's self?

I just never contracted with a "soiled dove"... At least that I know of...

Legitimate escorts are very nice to have around for occasions where One would feel akward, or where 'going stag' would be inapropriate. One I employed was a graduate student in French and International Business, and who now works for Monsanto. I still stay in contact with her a few times a year.

[HoosierGuy]

Legitimate escorts are very nice to have around for occasions where One would feel akward, or where 'going stag' would be inapropriate.

Like Saturday night stake conference.

[MisterT]

Haha, yup. Or a Formal Ball at the US Naval Observatory,.

[pam]

Like Saturday night stake conference.

Seriously? You think this would be an occasion that would warrant hiring someone from an escort service? Wow