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bl8tant

Spousal permission for baptism

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A friend of mine in another state is seriously considering being baptized. This is wonderful news, of course, but even more so because she is married to an abusive drunk. The blessings of the gospel will be extra helpful in her case.

She told me today that she'd found a statement in "Preach My Gospel" (p. 207) that says "Do not baptize a married person without the consent of his or her spouse." I'd never heard of that restriction before-- is it new?

I'd love to understand the rationale behind it; it seems that most spouses would grant permission, but it seems unfair to deny someone the benefits of membership in the church if their spouse withholds permission unrighteously.

If she is 18-yrs or older or culturally of age, then she has the right to be baptized. Have her talked to the Mission President.

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Marriage covenants are extremely important in the Church whether they be civil or in the temple. Anything that might tear apart that marriage commitment even a baptism is taken seriously. That's why they have that policy.

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A friend of mine in another state is seriously considering being baptized. This is wonderful news, of course, but even more so because she is married to an abusive drunk. The blessings of the gospel will be extra helpful in her case.

She told me today that she'd found a statement in "Preach My Gospel" (p. 207) that says "Do not baptize a married person without the consent of his or her spouse." I'd never heard of that restriction before-- is it new?

I'd love to understand the rationale behind it; it seems that most spouses would grant permission, but it seems unfair to deny someone the benefits of membership in the church if their spouse withholds permission unrighteously.

A baptism last 11 to 13 years tops, but families are forever.

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Guest mirancs8

That's a really rough situation that your friend is in and I can relate as some level with it all. I too was in a very abusive relationship and yes he excessively drank too (more so now apparently from what the kids tell me). For the over 8 years I was a believer I quickly decided not to get baptized because I could see it was a bad pill for him to swallow. He was VERY anti-Mormon. I waited over 8 years to get baptized and it was only when he was forcefully taken from my home that I received a very strong prompting to do it. It wasn't until then that I felt that strong feeling that now was the time.

Of course they all knew my story... they even knew my STBX from coming over our house, so they knew the situation. I was never told anything about having to get his permission to be baptized and obviously when I did approach them to set a date they didn't ask because he was no longer with me. I can see if you have a healthy marriage that you would want to be spiritually in sync as a couple. I was married to someone of a different denomination and it was very hard especially when we started having children. We were from 2 different worlds when it came to faith so we immediately had issues.

Any advice I give people when they are getting married is to make sure they are on the same page in that area of life. Being in the LDS community it asks much of you and to someone from the outside can seem overwhelming and at time intrusive. When my mother comes to visit it drives her NUTS how much they come over, and how much I do in regards to church activities and socializing. There was 2 days when she was here that I got 4 unexpected visits and after the last one she says to me, "don't these people have families!" LOL! She's just not into all this interaction. To her it seems very cultish though she finds more friendly wording when she mentions it to me. I can see why they would want your spouse to be in sync because it is a life changing event.

Just from my own experience I think it would cause more tension if she did get Baptized. She has a lot of obstacles she needs to contend with to get to that point and I sure hope she does. It might fuel his fire more unfortunately. If for some reason she was to leave him he may even use it as leverage in court. You would be shocked at the tactics people will use against each other.

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Never heard of it.

If the mother is a member, and the father is not, can he deny the mother the right to take the kids to church? I cannot remember where I heard it. I did hear that either parent can stop the other from taking minor kids to church. If divorced that is different.

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I asked my return missionary son today about this topic and he told me that they always ask for spousal permission but it doesn't mean they can't be baptized without it.

He did say, it depends on the culture and country in which someone lives.

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I asked my return missionary son today about this topic and he told me that they always ask for spousal permission but it doesn't mean they can't be baptized without it.

He did say, it depends on the culture and country in which someone lives.

I am also a returned missionary, and that's what I've been thinking this whole time, but for some reason couldn't figure out how to spit it out. So thanks. :)

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Again, let us wait to hear back from her before we can move forward to see what the Mission President has to say.

There is no "we" or "us" in this, Hemi. You are a passive bystander that has nothing to do with the OP's situation.

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