Your opinion on Plastic Surgery

[girlzof3]

Let me tell you my story. I am 35 and have breastfed 4 babies. I am 5’6″ and weigh 125 pounds. I am an active LDS member. I look great and I feel great. I exercise and have worked to get off all my pregnancy fat. Before I had babies I was almost an A and was o.k. with it. Since nursing I have nothing on top except for stretched out skin. That is it. I cannot fill a bra period. When I wear a swimsuit I am constantly looking down to see if it will go concave on me. I have also had problems with my bras staying down in the front. They tend to ride up because I have nothing to hold it down. It really bothers me. I would love to go in and get a size B put in. The size I was when I was nursing.

I have struggled with this decision for several years, thinking that as an active member of the church that this is too worldly. I have also read the talk from Elder Holland to the Young Women of the church. And yet I still wonder. I would love to actually fill out my shirts, swimsuits and bras. And yes, for me having breasts would make me feel more like a woman. For me, being able to walk into any bra department and actually fit into a bra would be fantastic. And yet I can’t make the decision. I have consulted with a plastic surgeon and even picked out a size B. I am a naturally shy person and would never wear tight, skimpy or immodest clothing to show them off. Heck, I only want a B. So where do I fit in? Am I being worldly and should I just learn to love having no chest at all or does a completely flat chest justify me getting relatively small boobs put in. I personally don't understand women that have something on top and go in to get them bigger and I would not do that. But is it worldly to just want something on top?

To me, I definitely feel “alone" with this issue, which is why I am posting. Sure there are plenty of small/no busted women in the church, but how many feel like me? This is not something I can just walk up to women and ask them how they feel about their chest size. Before I nursed babies I would have never thought about breast augmentation. And to this day if I was able to fill any size bra, I would not consider it. But now I am.

My husband thinks I am sexy and beautiful regardless. He also has told me that I am over-analyzing and making too big a deal about this. I would love to know your opinion, because I certainly can’t make up my own.

[Wingnut]

Welcome to the forums. I would recommend perusing the following threads:

http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/33765-ward-implications-breast-implants.html

http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/33158-breast-implants.html

http://www.lds.net/forums/learn-about-mormon-church/29980-plastic-surgery.html

http://www.lds.net/forums/relief-society-womens-issues/22887-plastic-surgery.html

http://www.lds.net/forums/advice-board/19368-tuck-not-tuck.html

[john doe]

I think it's a personal decision only you can make for yourself.

[Moksha]

What we desire frequently makes us happy until we desire something else. As far as not feeling guilty about the procedure, don't feel guilty.

[Guest]

For some reason, I think you are dash77 on disguise...

My advice from your post... don't do it.

All the I's and my's and me's in your post tell me you are the last person that would benefit from this surgery.

[Matthew0059]

What do you think CHRIST would want you to do?

If you stop focusing on how you feel and try to focus on how the SAVIOR feels about you, you will learn if this is all right for you or not.

[Boris_natasha]

Do you have access to any specialty bra shops? They may have a bra that would help in the filled out look. If I were you, I'd go that route, first.

[Gwen]

All the I's and my's and me's in your post tell me you are the last person that would benefit from this surgery.

i'm not sure i agree with this logic. if one gets plastic surgery shouldn't it be for them? if she were saying "i want it for my husband... so he will like the way i look" wouldn't that be worse? or i want it so i'll look like some model on tv and what the media thinks i should look like...

what healthy reason should she be giving for wanting her breasts to look more like they did before her body entered a war zone?

[bytor2112]

Our SP's wife has implants...our former Bishop's wife and daughter has them...our Stake YW's President has them. Don't worry about what other members think....if it feels right..go for it.

[girlzof3]

Thank you for all your responses. I really do appreciate it.

What would Christ want me to do? I see it as 2 ways. 1) Not do it. Right. Just love myself exactly how I am. And we can get into the whole make-up etc. argument but that has happened way to many times. 2) He really could care less.

Let me tell you the circle that repeats itself.

I decide that I just need to deal with what I don't have and make the best of it, because wanting breasts is worldly and I am trying to find that fine line between being worldly and wanting to look nice. This is what I have tried and considered.

For me, it is important that I look like I have something on top, because yes most women have breasts and I am a woman. This is not all that makes me feel like a women, just a part of it. So abandoning the bra and going completely flat chested, with no curves on top is not an option. And I dare to say there are not many women who would do this.

So... what have I done? I have tried on so many bras I can't count. When you have nothing to pad then I end up with air between the bra and my chest. That doesn't work.

I have bought several specialty bras online for women with small busts. They either don't fit because I have nothing to fit. Or if they actually fit, it looks like I am not wearing a bra because they are so small. And then we go back up to the top where I started. If I get one that fits then I have had problems with them riding up and I end up fidgeting with it all day, which is highly annoying.

So what am I doing now? I bought a size A bra and then I am putting large inserts, like the kind that people that have had mastectomies buy, to fill it out. This is the best option that I have come up with. However, they move around and I am always wondering if they are going to shift to an unnatural position. I worry about them falling out. And during the heat when I get hot and sweaty this set-up is not a good environment for my stretched out skin if you know what I mean.

So I tolerate this for a few months, get frustrated and then start asking myself the same questions over again.

Am I really making too big a deal about this?

If I am o.k. wearing large "fakies" on the outside why is it not o.k. on the inside.?

I am not a stripper, nor do I want anything close to big boobs. I just want to fill out a bra and never have to worry about it again.

And yes, this isn't about pleasing my husband. He honestly doesn't care. It's about me wanting my body back and looking like a woman again.

Edited August 16, 2010 by girlzof3

[Gwen]

Our SP's wife has implants...our former Bishop's wife and daughter has them...our Stake YW's President has them. Don't worry about what other members think....if it feels right..go for it.

lol sooooo many comments to be made about how you know all the women in your stake that have had implants..... lol

[Guest]

i'm not sure i agree with this logic. if one gets plastic surgery shouldn't it be for them? if she were saying "i want it for my husband... so he will like the way i look" wouldn't that be worse? or i want it so i'll look like some model on tv and what the media thinks i should look like...

what healthy reason should she be giving for wanting her breasts to look more like they did before her body entered a war zone?

Hah. You get my point! I think.

There's no healthy reason to go through surgery for cosmetic procedures. I think it definitely qualifies for oxymoron.

And yeah, "I want it for my marriage" is a better outlook than "I want it for myself". Although, you still have to look at why you think your marriage needs it...

Edited August 16, 2010 by anatess

[Connie]

Hi girlzof3. Welcome to the forum.

I have a suggestion. Stop wearing a bra. If there's nothing there, you don't need one. And trying to put something on you don't need is obviously uncomfortable for you. If you don't need a bra, why wear one? Just be like Alice and do your own thing.

"But you're not properly dressed."

"Whose to say what is proper? If everyone decided that wearing a codfish on your head were proper, would you wear one? To me a corset is like a codfish." (from Alice in Wonderland)

Regards

[Gwen]

i've said before that when i'm done with babies i want to have a tummy tuck to take care of the extra skin you get from all the trauma of kids. may change my mind when the time comes but right now that's the plan.

i don't see anything wrong with a woman wanting to look and feel like herself again. the key there being herself, not someone else or something other than what she was.

[bytor2112]

If your teeth are crooked, yet still work just fine...should you avoid having them straightened. How about flap and zap for the eyes...you could just wear glasses. If our appearance affects how we feel in life...then why not have it fixed to your liking.

Suppose, someone exercises and diets like crazy...but still can't get rid of the "saddlebags"....why not have lipo? At some point cosmetic surgery can be taken to the extreme and surely it often is...BUT, so are many other things. If having breast augmentation or some lipo improves how you feel about your self....then go for it.

[Guest]

Okay, I'm going to stop being cryptic and get to the point. I still really think you are dash77 in disguise that's why I was being cryptic because everything you wrote on your OP is the same things I said to dash77 on PM.

Yes, I have gone through surgery. Yes, I have the same problem as the OP. I know what you are going through. But even then, I still advice you to look at this surgery differently.

You already say you are well-adjusted and you are happy with yourself and so is your husband. So, why is this important and bugging you? Does this have any effect on your eternal progression? My issue was because my deformity made it difficult for me to go to the temple. I would rather not go into the why's and wherefores. Therefore, I went through surgery for my husband and I to keep our eternal promises.

This surgery is a major thing. It is invasive. You are basically exchanging one problem for a different one.

Is my surgery cosmetic? You betcha. Would I have been happy without it? Sure. But it would have been a struggle to stay temple worthy. So, I decided to eliminate that struggle and exchange it for a different one. After you receive breast surgery, it doesn't feel the same. It is just like undergoing any other surgery - like my c-section. My stomach does not feel the same anymore - it definitely affected my tennis game. I cannot enjoy tennis as much as I did before I had a c-section. Also, I will always be at risk of having to undergo corrective surgery for the life of my implants in my body. You may also have to get MRI's regularly for breast cancer detection. So, it is not eliminating a struggle completely. It is merely exchanging it for something else.

So, I don't have a problem with women having implants (I did) as long as you know what you are getting into.

Girl, you shouldn't rely on an anonymous forum to get advice on breast augmentation. This is not something you can take THAT lightly. Go seek counsel from your husband and your church leaders or something. Kneel down and pray if this is what is best for you.

Treat this like a medical condition that needs professional counsel.

We here on this forum, simply do not know you well enough to be able to give you wise counsel on this matter.

Edited August 16, 2010 by anatess

[Guest]

i don't see anything wrong with a woman wanting to look and feel like herself again. the key there being herself, not someone else or something other than what she was.

I don't think this applies to the OP. My understanding is she has always been this way. She gained some mass there while nursing and she wanted to be that way again.

Your point is excellent, though.

[girlzof3]

Sorry I am not dash77 and I don't even know what OP means. But I guess you have to take my word on that.

I am in no way going to use this forum's responses to make my decision. The reason why I posted in the first place is to hopefully get an idea about how many other members struggle with this same issue and how they have resolved it - either way. This is not something that is talked about in church. There is no official church position. This is something that is mostly kept quiet or whispered about.

What seems black and white is not. Big fake stripper boobs = bad. But flat chested women who want normal size ones? All of a sudden you don't know and that line between vanity and humility starts to get blurred. Which is what I am struggling with.

I have talked with my husband about it numerous times. I have also prayed about it and will continue to do so. I have yet to resolve this issue within myself. I also know that I do tend to over-analyze and worry too much about things. So for me, finding people that are struggling or have struggled with the same issues helps me with my perspective.

Make sense?

[Wingnut]

OP = original post, or original poster

[Dossice]

Let me tell you my story. I am 35 and have breastfed 4 babies. I am 5’6″ and weigh 125 pounds. I am an active LDS member. I look great and I feel great. I exercise and have worked to get off all my pregnancy fat. Before I had babies I was almost an A and was o.k. with it. Since nursing I have nothing on top except for stretched out skin. That is it. I cannot fill a bra period. When I wear a swimsuit I am constantly looking down to see if it will go concave on me. I have also had problems with my bras staying down in the front. They tend to ride up because I have nothing to hold it down. It really bothers me. I would love to go in and get a size B put in. The size I was when I was nursing.

I have struggled with this decision for several years, thinking that as an active member of the church that this is too worldly. I have also read the talk from Elder Holland to the Young Women of the church. And yet I still wonder. I would love to actually fill out my shirts, swimsuits and bras. And yes, for me having breasts would make me feel more like a woman. For me, being able to walk into any bra department and actually fit into a bra would be fantastic. And yet I can’t make the decision. I have consulted with a plastic surgeon and even picked out a size B. I am a naturally shy person and would never wear tight, skimpy or immodest clothing to show them off. Heck, I only want a B. So where do I fit in? Am I being worldly and should I just learn to love having no chest at all or does a completely flat chest justify me getting relatively small boobs put in. I personally don't understand women that have something on top and go in to get them bigger and I would not do that. But is it worldly to just want something on top?

To me, I definitely feel “alone" with this issue, which is why I am posting. Sure there are plenty of small/no busted women in the church, but how many feel like me? This is not something I can just walk up to women and ask them how they feel about their chest size. Before I nursed babies I would have never thought about breast augmentation. And to this day if I was able to fill any size bra, I would not consider it. But now I am.

My husband thinks I am sexy and beautiful regardless. He also has told me that I am over-analyzing and making too big a deal about this. I would love to know your opinion, because I certainly can’t make up my own.

If you plan on having more children, you might want to reconsider waiting until after your last is born, unless you don't plan on Breast-feeding them. I studied Nursing in high school, and one of the complications of Breast Implants is that it blocks and destroys the mammary glands that are what transports your milk to your child. However, you might want to consider a filler to your bra in the meantime. Costing about $6 at Wal-Mart, its a much cheaper, less painful, and less permanent way to feel more comfortable with your body.

Edited August 17, 2010 by Dossice

[pam]

I'm closing this thread. It has been discussed numerous times in the last month or two. The OP can refer to the other threads that she was provided links to.