Advice for husband and I

[robynjeanne]

Hi everyone

My husband and I joined the church several years ago. We became inactive for over 12 years and have just very recently come back to the church and look forward to growing together in the church. However, my husband just started a new job (he is a nurse) and has to work Sundays. There just are no other shifts available right now. Eventually, way down the road, he may be able to switch shifts or get Sundays off, but for now he must work Sundays from 6 AM to 2:30 PM, which is, of course, during Sunday services.

I guess I am looking for advice on how we can grow together in the church if he is not able to attend any services. After being inactive for 12 years, I was so hoping that we could go through this together and grow together in the church but I am unsure of how to do that. I did ask my bishop about it and he said to just read and study the scriptures together. I do understand that that is part of it. Attending services without my life-long and beyond partner just does not feel right. I feel as though I am learning and growing while he is not.

Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated. By the way, I just joined this forum today and look forward to making many friends.

Robyn

A

[Wingnut]

Does he work all day on Sundays? Is there any way he could attend services in another ward, and then head straight to work?

[bl8tant]

Welcome, Robyn!

I haven't had this problem myself, but I have friends who were both nurses, but in different specialties (and thus working at different hospitals). They didn't have a magic bullet, unfortunately. Luckily, though, there are lots of things you and your husband can do to grow together even if he can't make services every Sunday.

- Listen to conference talks from past conferences together. If you were inactive for 12 years, that means you have about 24 General Conferences to catch up on :) Many conference sessions are downloadable from the Church web site or on iTunes, or LDS Distribution Services sells them (cheaply) on CDs

- Make sure that you're taking advantage of all the ward activities and firesides that you can. If he's working on Sunday, there must be another day during the week when he's not working.

- Serve together if you can. Does your area have a bishop's storehouse, cannery, or other place where you can work together?

- As you meet members and make friends in Relief Society, get together with them each week on Sunday afternoon just for a short visit. That fellowship will do both of you a world of good.

- Pray for a change of circumstance. I've seen the Lord help people with situations like this before, although you'll have to prayerfully consider what to do and what to ask Him for.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

[UrbanFool]

I don't know about there, but here there are hundreds of positions open for RNs. That is the one thing to be right now if you want a job.

My husband has a job now and he works until 2:30 on Sundays as well. But our service starts at 1:00, so he can make it to church in time for the priesthood meeting. (the last of the day.)

Is there another ward you can join temporarily that has different hours than the one you're in now?

[UrbanFool]

HA! Yeah --what Wingnut said. I didn't see that.

[MarginOfError]

but for now he must work Sundays from 6 AM to 2:30 PM, which is, of course, during Sunday services.

Does he work all day on Sundays? Is there any way he could attend services in another ward, and then head straight to work?

I don't know many wards that hold services before 6:00 AM or after 2:30 PM. This is going to be a pretty tough spot.

The best advice I can offer is to make sure that you don't take his absence as an excuse not to go. Continue to pray, study the scriptures, and hold family home evening together. I know that sounds really basic, but if you can do those things, it will go a long way to preserving the growth you are seeking. You may also want to ask your home teachers to be hyper involved.

[Wingnut]

I don't know many wards that hold services before 6:00 AM or after 2:30 PM. This is going to be a pretty tough spot.

Der. I didn't pay attention to the posting of the hours.

I actually used to attend church in a building that housed 4 wards (a new building has since been erected in that stake). The meeting times were 8:30am, 10:30am (the BEST), 12:30pm, and 2:30pm.

[MormonMama]

I used to be in a stake that had wards meeting as late as 4pm. Perhaps give your stake leaders a call and see if there is another ward in your stake with later meetings you can attend. You might even be able to change wards entirely in this circumstance.

I have spent many times in the hospital and always appreciated the wonderful nurses who took care of me physically, mentally and emotionally. Your husband is a wonderful person doing a great service to others and he will be blessed for it. The Lord knows that people in his occupation are needed 24/7 and will enable you both to find ways to find strength in the Gospel. Others here have already given you some great ideas. If going to church meetings together is important to you, see if you can find a ward with later start times, even if you can only go together for part of the time.

Good luck!

[Roseslipper]

All of the above advise is good, do your homework, see if there another ward that starts later so u can go to at least one or 2 of the meetings. also there might being evening instute classes of relgion u might go too. Pray and it will work out for you and your family. ask the missionarys to come over and do some family home evenings with you. you can also ask the bishop if there might be a family u can join in there family home evenings.YOur bishop gave u great advice to read the scriptures together. here r some good websites lds.org, mormon.org,jesuschrist.lds.org, providentliving.org, spiritual music is great to have in ur home theres www,yldsr.com i listen to that alot, radio.lds.org, byutv.org etc u can also borrow books dvd, cd, from the wards library. welcome to this site. and its great to have you back in church.

[jayanna]

My hubby and I were ward missionaries together. We had investigators over with the missionaries 2 sometimes 3 times a week. We learned a lot about the gospel as we prepared to answer their questions. The spirit was so strong in our home, and we got to fellowship and discuss gospel topics with others.

You could talk to the ward mission leader and explain your situation. He would probably appreciate some members who are willing to open their home to others, or even go with the elders to the homes of the investigators. The new member retention is significantly better when members are involved, and you don't have to be called to help. And you can do that according to your schedule!

We also took trips to the temple grounds, even before we could go in. Some of them have visitors centers you can visit.

Getting a subscription to the Ensign is really nice, too. You can take it with you, I have even used it as a missionary opportunity.

You can teach each other the lessons he has missed.

You both can still have home/visit teaching assignments to fill.

You can go to the family history center and either get your own family names ready, or if they are done, you can help with others' work. That way when you are ready for temple work, you have names ready to go.

We have worked in the local soup kitchen a lot, it is a really great experience. My kids are reminded of the principle of gratitude.:)

I have learned that once people find out you are willing to be saint all week long, you will soon find yourself so busy that you'll have trouble fitting it all in.

[FairChild]

Become stronger yourself and then, share your strength.