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I am curious. I am dating an amazing girl. Everything is just going better than I ever thought it could. Its funny because I never saw this being so good. It wasn't "love at first sight."

My questions are:

How many people did you date before you found "the one?"

How many people did you say you loved before you decided to marry?

How did you know she was the one?

I really haven't dated many people at all but even without dating other people I can see how I would prefer the person I am with now. We get along so well and in 2 months we have not had a single arguement. This is the first person I have met really that I can just work things out with easily and its almost too easy. I like that.

I just don't want be blinded. Is every relationship this good? Is this just normal? I still want and need to get to know her more. I am not the type of person to rush into marriage but it keeps coming up in my mind. We haven't talked about it much and I don't want to rush something. I HAVE to know the person I will marry is the one. Divorce is not an option for me. It just has to be right.

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I am curious. I am dating an amazing girl. Everything is just going better than I ever thought it could. Its funny because I never saw this being so good. It wasn't "love at first sight."

My questions are:

How many people did you date before you found "the one?"

I've dated about 40 women in my life. There were three I seriously considered marrying. But I'm not going to say I found "the one" because in the vast majority of cases, I think the existence of "the one" is a fraud.

How many people did you say you loved before you decided to marry?

At least 6, perhaps even 10. And if you ask me about any of them to this day, I'll still tell you I love them.

How did you know she was the one?

Again, this concept is inherently flawed. There are probably thousands of people in this world you could marry and have a very successful and happy marriage. The trick is finding someone with whom it's really easy (again, there's probably more than one of these).

I really haven't dated many people at all but even without dating other people I can see how I would prefer the person I am with now. We get along so well and in 2 months we have not had a single arguement. This is the first person I have met really that I can just work things out with easily and its almost too easy. I like that.

Two months without an argument isn't really much of an accomplishment. As a general rule, I don't encourage people to discuss getting married unless they've known the person a long time or dated for at least 6 months. And I don't think it's wise to get married any sooner than a year of dating.

I just don't want be blinded. Is every relationship this good? Is this just normal?

For the first two months...yeah, it's pretty normal.

I still want and need to get to know her more. I am not the type of person to rush into marriage but it keeps coming up in my mind. We haven't talked about it much and I don't want to rush something. I HAVE to know the person I will marry is the one. Divorce is not an option for me. It just has to be right.

What exactly are you expecting to learn that will convince you she's the one? What are your expectations? What characteristics are you looking for? What characteristics will complement your own character? What characteristics will compensate for your flaws? These might be better questions to ask than "is she the one?"

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How many people did you date before you found "the one?"

Lots. Between high school and my husband, I honestly couldn't tell you the names of every single person I've dated.

How many people did you say you loved before you decided to marry?

Only two. My ex husband and my husband.

How did you know he was the one?

Because I see myself with him for the rest of my life with imperfections and all :] With my first marriage, even though I felt like I was madly in love with him, there was a part of me that felt (maybe even knew) that we would not last. That's exactly what happened.

It's such a great feeling to find someone you connect with. But I would recommend dating a lot of different people. Not arguing is always good BUT you need to know how she is when she gets upset or when you have a differing opinion than hers — it will happen :]

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2 months you say? Ahh, sweet infatuation. It feels great. Everything is so wonderful. But it's very temporary. You don't know this lady after 2 months, you just feel like you do. It's possible she's the best catch in the world, but even if she's a train wreck waiting to happen, it could still feel this good at 2 months.

Here's a fun suggestion - start a journal, and write about her in it every night or two. The good and the bad - don't show it to her - this is just for you. Around the one year mark, start from the beginning and read what it was like 10 months ago. If you wonder who that person was saying all that dumb stuff, you'll see the infatuation has started to wear off, and you are seeing more clearly now. If you continue to think she's wonderful after a year, your odds of being correct are going up.

Anyway, full disclosure here: I think I violated some of the advice I give other people, so take it for what it's worth.

How many people did you date before you found "the one?"

How many people did you say you loved before you decided to marry?

One, and one.

How did you know she was the one?

I fasted for 3 days and showed up to my patriarchical blessing appointment with the engagement ring in my hand. I never could have decided on my own - I needed God's direct input on the matter.

Happy dating!

LM

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I had only dated steadily 2 girls other than my wife. My wife and I started talking marriage a few weeks into our dating. 2.5 months into our relationship I proposed. 2.5 months later we were married. How did I know it was her? Everything worked with us. There was never any awkwardness or feeling that I had to really "woo" her. We could talk for hours on end about anything from the frivolous to deeper subjects like the Gospel or politics. Being around each other made us want to be a better person for the other. Our goals and interests matched up perfectly. I knew she would be a wonderful mother to our children.

To be honest, I do not believe in the concept of "The One." I strongly believe that you find someone you are compatible with and you make them "The One."

If both of you are at the point of your life where marriage is a possibility, bring it up, but only if you are thinking that it really is going that way. If she is feeling the same thing, you can start thinking more seriously. If she reacts negatively or evasively, you might start to get a feel where things will head eventually.

Also, each relationship is different. I knew what I wanted in a woman and I didn't need to do a lot of serious dating to find my wife. (It was more finding someone who would be willing to put up with me for an eternity....and trust me...i'm kinda weird.) Some people need to date for a few years to get to that point. Some people need just a week of dating to know. Best thing to do, regardless, is perfect yourself. Strive to become more like Christ...be a better priesthood holder...be an influence for good in the places the Lord puts you. All in all, trust in the spirit. He will guide you.

Lastly, a church leader of mine said if you want to find an incredible spouse, do your home teaching.

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I had only dated steadily 2 girls other than my wife. My wife and I started talking marriage a few weeks into our dating. 2.5 months into our relationship I proposed. 2.5 months later we were married. How did I know it was her? Everything worked with us. There was never any awkwardness or feeling that I had to really "woo" her. We could talk for hours on end about anything from the frivolous to deeper subjects like the Gospel or politics. Being around each other made us want to be a better person for the other. Our goals and interests matched up perfectly. I knew she would be a wonderful mother to our children.

To be honest, I do not believe in the concept of "The One." I strongly believe that you find someone you are compatible with and you make them "The One."

If both of you are at the point of your life where marriage is a possibility, bring it up, but only if you are thinking that it really is going that way. If she is feeling the same thing, you can start thinking more seriously. If she reacts negatively or evasively, you might start to get a feel where things will head eventually.

Also, each relationship is different. I knew what I wanted in a woman and I didn't need to do a lot of serious dating to find my wife. (It was more finding someone who would be willing to put up with me for an eternity....and trust me...i'm kinda weird.) Some people need to date for a few years to get to that point. Some people need just a week of dating to know. Best thing to do, regardless, is perfect yourself. Strive to become more like Christ...be a better priesthood holder...be an influence for good in the places the Lord puts you. All in all, trust in the spirit. He will guide you.

Lastly, a church leader of mine said if you want to find an incredible spouse, do your home teaching.

I'm sorry I used the terminology "THE ONE." I completely agree. I do not believe in soul mates. I'm positive there are plenty out there who I am compatible with. I know that. I don't doubt that at all. I meant more like.. the one I should marry or someone that it would wise to marry.

Thats crazy! Thats pretty much EXACTLY how I would describe our relationship! It just all seems so good. We can talk about anything and everything. The way everything happened was just not awkward at all and it could have been. The first kiss, holding hands, saying I love you for the first time. It all just came so naturally and I think that has allowed us to get so close so fast. We are both down to earth and mature. We are on the same level spiritually. I know I want to continue and see where it goes before deciding anything.

A year or two ago I had the idea that I wanted to date the women I would marry for a year or so. I want to know for sure and not have ANY doubts. 2 months into the relationship and I feel like I am already seeing so much I have always wanted in a wife and so much I didn't know I wanted or knew I could ever have. We are currently in a long distance relationship because of school and I want to talk about marriage (not GETTING MARRIED but talk about marriage and what she thinks) but I want to do it in person.

It keeps on coming up in the background of things and it seems all of the girls/her mom/relief society women are so anxious to see what happens. Its annoying. There aren't enough relationships going on to draw the attention away from us. People are more dramatic and gossipy than we are. They don't even really know how close we are.

She is not the hopeless romantic type and doesn't fantasize about marrying me but I strongly feel that if I bought a ring tomorrow she would say yes. Its just going really good. We connect. I just can't even believe I am even thinking marriage is a possibility this soon and this soon into the relationship! I used to laugh at and still kinda do laugh at those who get engaged after 1 month. I'm attending BYU I do here people! I think its just insane to rush into something so fast. But right now I just know that if things keep going this good marriage is going to be inevitable. I'm thinking about it more now and its becoming more of a reality to me that it is going to happen maybe sooner than I think. Maybe not with her but it could happen. I am trying to follow my mission presidents council to not wait too long and not get married too fast. I've been home for 6 or 7 months now.

I have written down what I do like and what I don't but I feel like maybe if someone else could see my situation in its totality they would say... those things don't matter so much...holy cow.. you guys are great together!!! Marry her!

Its really hard being in a long distance relationship. Honestly we have been together longer apart than we have together but we both decided to stick it out and things are going great. We are getting closer despite the distance and its hard but its just....going good. I think this is a really good test for us and every day its proving more and more that this is good.

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Here is some more important information I suppose. She is 19. Im 22. I have dated one other person. It lasted 1 year from 16 - 17. It was stupid. This is completely different.

Now... I am THE FIRST person she has dated seriously (relationship...shes been on numerous dates). First person she has kissed... first I love you, etc. I almost......want her to date other people so that she can know I am what she really wants but where we (she) lives there honestly aren't very many datable lds guys that are her type. If we broke up she probably wouldn't find anyone.

Now on my side... I'm at BYU-I. There are cute (dang cute) girls all over! I feel tempted to test the waters and its hard going from having someone to cuddle with to having no one but I just look at girls and observe them and I feel like I can quickly see that the girl I'm dating now is so much better. Even if some girls here are prettier.... and thats weird for me because physical appearance is huge for me and I feel kinda picky and kinda bad but I'm a normal guy I think.

Just right now I have reason to break this relationship off. I want to see where it goes and I want her to know that I am what she really wants and vice versus.

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Long distance relationships are rough. Each girl I dated before my wife and I went through a 4-5 month spell of "long distance relationships...each at BYU-ID too. All of these things prepared me for the 4 months I was away from my wife due to Air Force basic training and the first few months of Tech school.

That was another way I decided to marry my wife. I told her early on in the discussions about marriage that I couldn't promise her we'd stay in AZ forever. (I'd moved around more times than I had birthdays while she was living in the same house she came home from the hospital to as a baby.) That didn't matter to her. She was willing to leave her parents and her home to be with me. Since we got married my wife has followed me to Mississippi and now Hawaii. Who knows where else the Air Force will take us.

Despite all the advice that you can receive on this board, the decision ultimately lies with you. You know how your relationship is progressing. Seriously pray about it. Study it out in your mind. The "burning in the bosom" and the "stupor of thought" described in the Doctrine and Covenants is a real thing.

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Your right. I know that no one understands the situation better than I do. It does me a lot of good to hear other people's experiences though. I know no one can decide for me but I am just having kinda a hard time seeing things how they really are. I am trying to be realistic and I don't want to think something is better than it really is but I think that some of the most important things are there.

Time will tell I supose...... sigh...........................Long distance sucks but if we make it and we are closer when its over then isn't that sayin something? If I can stay faithful to her and her to me for these 3 months then I know thats a good indicator of "US" and where we are. I am surrounded by girls here.

What sucks the most is that I get to see her over Christmas break. My family is going to want my attention and her family is going to want hers. I have from the 18th to the 3rd to be with her. Thats about 2 weeks minus family time etc. Then...........its back to school for another painful 3 months of skype, phone calls, texting, and letters. How can I convince her to come down here? Shes going to school studying child development. Its her third semester at the University of Arkansas.... which is 5 minutes from her house. Its a good school but I love BYU-I and its nice to be away from home and meet lots of members here.

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If I can stay faithful to her and her to me for these 3 months then I know thats a good indicator of "US" and where we are. I am surrounded by girls here.

Being faithful is black or white. You either are or you aren't. There is no between. From what you've posted, it seems that you're still interested in dating other girls, as you should be! You're young, barely in your 20's, this is really the ideal time to be dating different people and learning more about yourself. Your brain isn't even fully developed until you're about 23 years old, so there's still much maturing to be done for you and your girlfriend. Why not give casual dating a try? Be social and mingle with all kinds of girls. See what attributes you want and don't want in a potential wife and future mother.

Also, the Lord works in mysterious ways.. Your eternal companion may not be someone you seek or ask out but she may seek and ask you out! In which case, you don't want to seal doors so early in the game and miss that opportunity. Just another way to look at things.

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Wait... So I am unfaithful because I am "interested" in other girls? I can find another girl attractive or funny but until I pursue something there I don't think that constitutes as cheating.

Funny that you say that. My current girlfriend did kind of seek me out in a way. We both kinda met in the middle.

I have mingled with other girls and I WANT to meet other people. She is ok with that but we haven't talked about me dating other girls. I am not right now. Therefore I think that constitutes as being faithful. Its not like I am walking around campus to check girls out either. But I can't help that I am surrounded by them and that lots are pretty. My girlfriend is ok with that. She is not that protective.

I suppose what I want to know is would it be stupid to break off a relationship that is going so well just because I have the option to date more people right now?

If we broke it off I might be able to date others but she would not. I think maybe she needs it more than I do. Heck... I'm the first she has dated. I have this fear of wasting time. Say I do break up with her and I can't find anyone I'm interested in as much as I am interested in her? What then? Go running back to her? That would make me feel like I can't make up my mind.

Ugggggg........I can't see things clearly right now.

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Wait... So I am unfaithful because I am "interested" in other girls? I can find another girl attractive or funny but until I pursue something there I don't think that constitutes as cheating.

Funny that you say that. My current girlfriend did kind of seek me out in a way. We both kinda met in the middle.

I have mingled with other girls and I WANT to meet other people. She is ok with that but we haven't talked about me dating other girls. I am not right now. Therefore I think that constitutes as being faithful. Its not like I am walking around campus to check girls out either. But I can't help that I am surrounded by them and that lots are pretty. My girlfriend is ok with that. She is not that protective.

I suppose what I want to know is would it be stupid to break off a relationship that is going so well just because I have the option to date more people right now?

If we broke it off I might be able to date others but she would not. I think maybe she needs it more than I do. Heck... I'm the first she has dated. I have this fear of wasting time. Say I do break up with her and I can't find anyone I'm interested in as much as I am interested in her? What then? Go running back to her? That would make me feel like I can't make up my mind.

Ugggggg........I can't see things clearly right now.

You misunderstood my post. So let me clarify. :)

I am encouraging BOTH of you to do more dating before becoming serious and considering marriage. You used the word "faithful" and did not expand on that. I simply said there is no gray area when it comes to being faithful. You are or you aren't. Obviously, when you both decide to date other people, you won't be in an exclusive relationship.

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I prayed about my spouse and got an answer.

We dated for 2 months, were engaged for 2 months.

I think that while it is important to be excited about getting married to her in particular, that she is a great person, you should also think about if you are ready to have someone who will depend on you. She will need you to be a man of God. She will look to you to preside in your home, you will need to fill all of those responsibilities in the proclamation on the family.

You will need to serve her with patience, kindness, and respect. Are you ready to do those things? Are you ready to do those little things that please her and not just expect her to please you?

I think that will be more important than if you marry her in particular. You can marry the greatest person in the world, but if you are not willing to be a great spouse yourself, then it won't work.

I'm really excited for you, and I don't want my tone to sound mean, but I think you should ask yourself those questions, and read up on the role you are thinking about filling, and pray about it.

You are already thinking about her needs and that is great, you are on the right track.

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humm. Im happy you have a wonderful girl your dating and thinking of marriage.. the problem is the distance. though this too can be worked out. I dont think theres any thing wrong with dating more then one person at a time, actually I think people should, until u get to the point where your ready to just commit to one....I know people in the church most think you should get married early..I understand this..but I also think its best to wait til your 24 i think most people need to to mature, learn and grow some first. But if you have met the one u want to be with before 24......and the Lord confirmed it Then go for it....Marriage is not easy....Ilike what one of the posters said.. if u want to be a good husband, do your home teaching...awesome advice. Best wishes on what ever you both deside

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I prayed about my spouse and got an answer.

We dated for 2 months, were engaged for 2 months.

I think that while it is important to be excited about getting married to her in particular, that she is a great person, you should also think about if you are ready to have someone who will depend on you. She will need you to be a man of God. She will look to you to preside in your home, you will need to fill all of those responsibilities in the proclamation on the family.

You will need to serve her with patience, kindness, and respect. Are you ready to do those things? Are you ready to do those little things that please her and not just expect her to please you?

I think that will be more important than if you marry her in particular. You can marry the greatest person in the world, but if you are not willing to be a great spouse yourself, then it won't work.

I'm really excited for you, and I don't want my tone to sound mean, but I think you should ask yourself those questions, and read up on the role you are thinking about filling, and pray about it.

You are already thinking about her needs and that is great, you are on the right track.

Thanks! Those are good things to consider.

Years ago I didn't have a true idea of marriage. I really think I am refining my understanding of it more and more. All the responsibilities etc. I am around plenty of married couples/engaged couples here at college and I kinda see what they go through. I am taking a marriage prep class and have been thinking a lot about it. I don't feel I am ready to make those changes in my life RIGHT NOW. Its not RIGHT around the corner and its not that I can't commit to someone or I just want to have fun with friends and enjoy life but I have to know for sure and she does too.

I feel the need to get married sooner than later. Start a family. I'm starting to feel that that its true. Elder Scott just spoke at a CES fireside and he said that marriage should be our NUMBER ONE PRIORITY (speaking to college students). Basically its a sin to not be getting ready for it and not be searching/dating.

Some say don't get married soon. Some say wait till your 26... I don't want to unrighteously put it off or unrightously rush in. Really its something that I plan on happening within the next 2 years and as soon as in about 6 months. Getting engaged at least.

We have talked about marriage in general but not US GETTING MARRIED. We have talked about how other people talk about us and "fantasize" about us getting married but I really need to talk to her in person and discuss it. Its not something I want to talk about via text, phone, or even skype. It wont be that awkward to talk about it either. We feel the same way about most everything and we BOTH know we have both thought about it. I don't mean that we need to talk about when or where but talk about why it would be good and why it would work out. Talk it out and discuss import things. It may end up being the conversation that "temporarily breaks us up" mutually so we can date other people with the purpose to see if we really are that good. We may date other people then run back to each other and rerealize how good we had it. It doesn't hurt to be more sure. As hard as that might be I think I could handle it if it was a mutual decision but I don't think I could handle that kind of break up right now and over the phone halfway through the semester.

I appreciate the comments and any other advice or experiences would be more than appreciated!! I've been thinking a lot and I think things are getting more clear but there seems to be no real immediate solution.

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