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want2bworthy

New Guy Seeking Guidance and Advice

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Hi everyone. I'm a convert to the Church since 1998 and have recently been active again, like for the last year-and-a-half. Lots has happened since '98 and there are a lot of reasons I'm active again. I'm a 40 year-old married guy with one 10 YO son who I am extremely proud of. I've been married for 20 years to the same woman - she attends church fairly regularly but seems to be afraid of getting wet.

My handle pretty much sums up my reason for seeking other avenues of counsel. Please excuse me for being rather cryptic - this is my intro post. I need to know which forum or group I should visit to discuss some issues I need help with. I could go to my Bishop, but that's kind of "the issue," if you're picking up what I'm laying down.

Anyway, I'm glad to be here and hope to get some guidance and have some fun.

Cheers.

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I think as difficult as it may seem, you probably should go to your Bishop.. maybe talk to your wife about it. Your Bishop is probably the best person to see about becoming active again. I'm happy for you that you're making the decision to become an active member. :)

Anyway, welcome. :) I'm kind of new too, actually only started using this dormant account.. but yeah, your Bishop (as all Bishops should be) is the person you should talk to about these types of things. He's there to listen and to guide you, not to judge you. He'll help you become active again. :)

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Thanks for the reply. I think I may have written a confusing post. I am active - every Sunday and home teaching and helping out at the Store-House when I can. As for my Bishop - that's where the problem lies. My wife and I have had some issues in our marriage and she went to him about it. I don't know what she said to him, but he's pretty much been a jerk to me ever since. No, he's not there to judge as he is commanded not to, but he should be there to offer compassion, understanding, charity, and guidance. It seems to me that he's got it backwards. His attitude is "I'm the Bishop, so what I say goes." And yes, he's actually said this. He's also said in Sacrament that if anyone doesn't like what he says or advises to do, don't got the Stake President because "He'll just tell you to talk to me about it." It seems that I'm not the only one with an issue, but it also seems taboo to talk about with other members in the ward. I realize that the Church is perfect, but the people aren't. His attitude is not causing me to want to be inactive, either. After all, the last time I checked, the sign on the wall said the Church of Jesus Christ, not the church of the bishop. I guess more than anything, it's causing me to feel defensive and scrutinized, and I really don't need that from my church leaders. Should I go to the Stake President about this? This has been going on for about a year now and I need to move past it.

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No, he's not there to judge as he is commanded not to, but he should be there to offer compassion, understanding, charity, and guidance. It seems to me that he's got it backwards.

Actually, you're wrong about that. Bishops are specifically called as judges in Israel.

He's also said in Sacrament that if anyone doesn't like what he says or advises to do, don't got the Stake President because "He'll just tell you to talk to me about it."

It's possible the Stake President has told the bishops that, and the bishop is just passing the message along. There is a chain of command, and it's there for a reason.

After all, the last time I checked, the sign on the wall said the Church of Jesus Christ, not the church of the bishop.

That's true, but the Bishop is His representative, and currently the person in place for you to discuss your problems with.

Should I go to the Stake President about this? This has been going on for about a year now and I need to move past it.

Sure, if you want. Just be prepared for him to tell you to talk to your bishop.

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Congrats on coming back to activity, and wanting to come closer to God. That's big jujul ^_^

So, here's a question - do you hold the Melchizedek priesthood? If you're an Elder, then well, the Bishop is big on stewardship over the Aaronic and the other members. The Stake President has stewardship over Elders and HP's.

I don't remember all the details, but if you wish to confess some sins, I'm thinking it's the SP that handles disciplinary councils and whatnot for the Melchizedek PH.

Anyway, I'd make an appt with the SP, and give him the exact specific behaviors and things you've witnessed from the bishop. ("He's been a jerk to me" isn't an exact specific behavior...) Let him know you have some things in your life you'd like to confess, and you'd feel more comfortable taking care of it with him.

Give it a try and see what he says. At the very least, you'll know more about how things work than you do now.

LM

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Welcome to the forum. I hope you find answers here. It is good to hear that you can see the Church behind the bishop. Maybe the bishop is a bishop because he should learn something. If you are able to babtize so maybe your wife will be babtized after all. That would be cool.

About where to ask, where to write on this forum...:eek: sometimes I ahve no clue eitehr and I been here for years, so just try. If it is on a wrong forum it will just be moved to a right one. :D

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He is there to judge, but to judge fairly. I think the best thing for you to do is to talk to your wife, and confront your Bishop about. That's not fair, if he chooses to judge, you at least have a reason to know what his judgement is and talk to him. The Bishop is there to support you and help you through the problem.

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Hi,

Welcome to the forum, like everyone else said. Please go see your bishop. Don't let personal feelings get in the way. He was placed there by the Lord and he's the guy you need right now. The Lord knew that when he called the bishop to the position. Trust the Lord and his foreknowledge of things.

I used to home teach a wonderful fellow, a police officer. He got into some trouble with a member of the opposite sex and crossed some boundaries he shouldn't have. He ended up getting disfellowshipped. He carried a grudge against the stake president who disfellowshipped him for many years.

The guy didn't come to Church, but he believed the gospel, studied the scriptures, etc. I was his Elders' Quorum President at the time and I could have really used his strength in the quorum. But the guy held onto his grudge and said he wouldn't reapply for membership until the stake president was released.

One day, a couple of years later (remember, he was a cop) he responded to a domestic dispute call and he was shot and killed when he arrived on the scene.

He never made it back into the Church. The stake president served for another five years or so after that. Look what that grudge did.

Let go of your resentment and go to the bishop. You never know which day will be your last. Call the bishop tonight.

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Actually, you're wrong about that. Bishops are specifically called as judges in Israel.

It's possible the Stake President has told the bishops that, and the bishop is just passing the message along. There is a chain of command, and it's there for a reason.

That's true, but the Bishop is His representative, and currently the person in place for you to discuss your problems with.

Sure, if you want. Just be prepared for him to tell you to talk to your bishop.

As I recall, Bishops are people and people can make mistakes. You make it sound as if he can do no wrong. I once caught a Bishop engaging in very questionable behavior concerning teenage girls. When my Bishop looks at me sideways and doesn't say hello back to me, I assume there's a personal issue. Perhaps I'm wrong about that, too? Just because he's in a position of leadership does not mean he's immune to making mistakes.

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As I recall, Bishops are people and people can make mistakes. You make it sound as if he can do no wrong. I once caught a Bishop engaging in very questionable behavior concerning teenage girls. When my Bishop looks at me sideways and doesn't say hello back to me, I assume there's a personal issue. Perhaps I'm wrong about that, too? Just because he's in a position of leadership does not mean he's immune to making mistakes.

I neither said nor implied that bishops are infallible. Maybe he's just a really bad communicator. What I do know is that if you've only given him one chance, you can't really justify your complaints.

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So, here's a question - do you hold the Melchizedek priesthood? If you're an Elder, then well, the Bishop is big on stewardship over the Aaronic and the other members. The Stake President has stewardship over Elders and HP's.

I don't remember all the details, but if you wish to confess some sins, I'm thinking it's the SP that handles disciplinary councils and whatnot for the Melchizedek PH.

This is pretty accurate, but if the stake president and bishop feel that excommunication is not a likely result of the disciplinary council, it may be handled by the bishop. But it is correct that only the stake president can excommunicate a Melchizedek Priesthood holder. Just today's little nugget of wisdom.

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Thanks for the reply. I think I may have written a confusing post. I am active - every Sunday and home teaching and helping out at the Store-House when I can. As for my Bishop - that's where the problem lies. My wife and I have had some issues in our marriage and she went to him about it. I don't know what she said to him, but he's pretty much been a jerk to me ever since. No, he's not there to judge as he is commanded not to, but he should be there to offer compassion, understanding, charity, and guidance. It seems to me that he's got it backwards. His attitude is "I'm the Bishop, so what I say goes." And yes, he's actually said this. He's also said in Sacrament that if anyone doesn't like what he says or advises to do, don't got the Stake President because "He'll just tell you to talk to me about it." It seems that I'm not the only one with an issue, but it also seems taboo to talk about with other members in the ward. I realize that the Church is perfect, but the people aren't. His attitude is not causing me to want to be inactive, either. After all, the last time I checked, the sign on the wall said the Church of Jesus Christ, not the church of the bishop. I guess more than anything, it's causing me to feel defensive and scrutinized, and I really don't need that from my church leaders. Should I go to the Stake President about this? This has been going on for about a year now and I need to move past it.

I've got mixed feelings here. My father was a bishop, and on a number of occasions he had to get stern with people and tell them that if they were going to seek his counsel and then ignore it, he wouldn't continue to counsel them. There were times when he took a 'my way or the highway' approach because what the member needed most was to humble him or herself to accept counsel from the Lord.

At the same time, it isn't always obvious when this attitude crosses into unrighteous dominion. Without hearing your bishop's side of the story, it's really hard to know what's going on. Sometimes we just need to hear people out, even if we don't like what they have to say, before we can evaluate what it is we need to hear.

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Thanks for the reply. I think I may have written a confusing post. I am active - every Sunday and home teaching and helping out at the Store-House when I can. As for my Bishop - that's where the problem lies. My wife and I have had some issues in our marriage and she went to him about it. I don't know what she said to him, but he's pretty much been a jerk to me ever since. No, he's not there to judge as he is commanded not to, but he should be there to offer compassion, understanding, charity, and guidance. It seems to me that he's got it backwards. His attitude is "I'm the Bishop, so what I say goes." And yes, he's actually said this. He's also said in Sacrament that if anyone doesn't like what he says or advises to do, don't got the Stake President because "He'll just tell you to talk to me about it." It seems that I'm not the only one with an issue, but it also seems taboo to talk about with other members in the ward. I realize that the Church is perfect, but the people aren't. His attitude is not causing me to want to be inactive, either. After all, the last time I checked, the sign on the wall said the Church of Jesus Christ, not the church of the bishop. I guess more than anything, it's causing me to feel defensive and scrutinized, and I really don't need that from my church leaders. Should I go to the Stake President about this? This has been going on for about a year now and I need to move past it.

Yes go 2 the Stake Pres. and welcome 2 the site

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