LDSk8r890 Posted February 25, 2004 Report Share Posted February 25, 2004 Hey I've been LDS all my life and I'm 12 years old.I was wondering if dating is normal for mormons our age. PLZ HELP ME OUT HERE!!! <See that's me I'm confused! HahaSeriously I need to know Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DisRuptive1 Posted February 26, 2004 Report Share Posted February 26, 2004 Your asking if it's normal. At 12 probably not. At least wait until you're 14 to get serious with a girl. Or in high school at least. At least it will be pretty normal. Not completely normal for LDS's and you turn some heads but nothing to worry about doing it at 14. You can always wait until 16 too. But be careful. The earlier you start dating the earlier opportunities occur to fornicate, and you might not be old enough to marry to get away with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSk8r890 Posted February 27, 2004 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2004 Okay but um... I already have a girlfriend... should I break up with her or what? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cedar Posted February 28, 2004 Report Share Posted February 28, 2004 Should you break up? IS this one of those we are going out and a week later you are not and during that entire week all you two did was wave at each other? That doesn't count. But anyway... Yes break up with her. And if she is LDS, she will understand. First off, are you interest in scouts? Do you know where you want to go to Univ? Are girls going to hinder your grades? Also, I think dating in High School is a waste of time. Wait till University. Do not date under the age of 18. I don't care if it is waht all the popular kids do. Oh and when you break up with her, just tell her "We need to hang out with Jimmy, Brooke, Blake, Cari and Alisha this weekend. We can all go to Alisha's house, because her parents are rich and have tons of food." And make sure Alisha's parents are home. Also, are you going to play any sports? How are you going to have time to go to practice and do homework and pay attention to some needy 16 year old girl? I tried it once my senior year, it was stupid. She wouldn't stop calling me. Anyway, my relationships lasted a toal of 19 days (all together) and I was glad. I went on a mission and never had problems where I felt guilty for all the immoral things I did even though I had told my Bishop and waited a year to go ( that was about half my companions... hoopefully they will stop letting the kids who have sex go on amission, or the kids who do and repent will quit feeling like they have to tell their companions about all of it. I just didn't want to know that stuff ya know?). Anyway... Life will turn out really well if you don't date all through high school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DisRuptive1 Posted February 28, 2004 Report Share Posted February 28, 2004 Lol, I wouldn't want to have killed myself if I had a girlfriend in highschool. If she is already your girlfriend then get more girlfriends. Tell her that it is wrong to be stuck with just one person at your age. Even the church thinks that young adults should date around to figure out what they like in the opposite sex. Also treat her like an equal. Have her open her own door. Split bills at restaurants and stuff. Don't go out more than once a week and don't go out on friday, saturday, or sunday. When you do go out have your mom take you. Or have someone who will be interested in everything that happened on your date drive you like lonely teenage brothers. Talk about her to your guy friends. Gossip. She'll be doing the same. If she has a problem with it tell her how happy you are to have her as a girlfriend, and how you want to show her off and everything. You can do it two ways. Just dog her, and call her every single day so she gets annoyed at talking to you everyday. Call her all the time and ask her what she's doing and what she's thinking. Or just ignore her as best you can. You can also try to get real frisky with her if she's not that type of girl and then dump her and tell her that sex is an important part of the relationship. All that should help you get out of the relationship. If you want to of course. But then again you can work your butt off at work when your 16 and spend your entire paycheck on her becasue that's what boyfriends do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franken Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 You really should wait on dating. I think breaking up with her would be a good idea, but only if you can do it without hurting feelings, here's what I think would work out for you. 1. Tell her that you really don't want to get involved in a relationship right now and that it'd be ok maybe when you were both older and in high school or something. Be straightforward, and tell her exactly how you feel. 2. If you really can't like confront or do it face to face, write her a note explaining it all. You can still be like the greatest of friends and there is nothing wrong with that, dating at this age just isn't sensible and has no purpose. It can only lead to creating desires that you shouldn't be having at that age. The purpose of dating is to find the qualities in people that you would find ideal to marry, and eventually you may stumble into that person that you want to marry in a date. Just wait it out, it's well worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Starsky Posted February 29, 2004 Report Share Posted February 29, 2004 Wow I am so impressed with you Franken...you do give great advice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSk8r890 Posted March 1, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 okay Im fine with that... but wait until I'm 18!?!?!? Come on now, that's just too long of a wait. 16's ok. BUT 18?!?!?!? I'm not sure if I'll break up with her. It's not like I'm some immoral evil kid. Im twelve years old for heavens sake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franken Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by LDSk8r890@Feb 29 2004, 06:00 PM okay Im fine with that... but wait until I'm 18!?!?!? Come on now, that's just too long of a wait. 16's ok. BUT 18?!?!?!? I'm not sure if I'll break up with her. It's not like I'm some immoral evil kid. Im twelve years old for heavens sake. 16 is just fine! I never meant it to sound like waiting till your eighteen. I guess it just depends on what you consider right now "going out". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFDaw Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 I never dated serious while I was in high school, I waited til I was in college before I had more serious type relationships. I just did the casual dating before college. I know SEVERAL people who dated very serious in high school, or who only had one boyfriend/girlfriend in high school and they all...and yes, I mean every last one I know, said they regretted it. They said they wish they had dated more people in high school and/or they wished they never dated serious while in high school. Regardless of what anyone says, dating is about finding out who you want to marry, so if you're not ready to get married at age 12, why have a serious relationship? Same at age 16. Not saying 18 you will be ready to marry, but you're going to be more in a frame of mind at 18 than you are at 16. Not only that, but this is something I did, and I had a lot of friends think I was stupid for doing it, but if I was ever dating a guy and it dawned on me "I do NOT want to spend the rest of my life with this guy." then I broke it off. There was no point for me to continue dating someone I had no desire to spend my life with. Truthfully, I think dating at 16 is fine, but I would try to date a lot of people instead of just the same girl over and over. With every relationship you learn what you do and don't want in a partner, so the more you date, the more you learn. That's just me though. I know plenty of other people will completely disagree with me. So letting the flaming begin!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franken Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by AFDaw@Feb 29 2004, 08:11 PMI never dated serious while I was in high school, I waited til I was in college before I had more serious type relationships. I just did the casual dating before college. I know SEVERAL people who dated very serious in high school, or who only had one boyfriend/girlfriend in high school and they all...and yes, I mean every last one I know, said they regretted it. They said they wish they had dated more people in high school and/or they wished they never dated serious while in high school. Regardless of what anyone says, dating is about finding out who you want to marry, so if you're not ready to get married at age 12, why have a serious relationship? Same at age 16. Not saying 18 you will be ready to marry, but you're going to be more in a frame of mind at 18 than you are at 16. Not only that, but this is something I did, and I had a lot of friends think I was stupid for doing it, but if I was ever dating a guy and it dawned on me "I do NOT want to spend the rest of my life with this guy." then I broke it off. There was no point for me to continue dating someone I had no desire to spend my life with. Truthfully, I think dating at 16 is fine, but I would try to date a lot of people instead of just the same girl over and over. With every relationship you learn what you do and don't want in a partner, so the more you date, the more you learn. That's just me though. I know plenty of other people will completely disagree with me. So letting the flaming begin!!Actually AFdaw, I guess I kind of agree with you. That kind of helps me too shedding some light on my relationship right now. I think it is a good idea to date many different types of people in high school, although more so after 18. This way by the time you are ready to be looking for a spouse you already now what kind of person you want to marry. If you only date one person all through high school, by the time you are looking for a spouse, you have no one to compare them to. Plus, not too many people get married to their high school girlfriend/boyfriend. Awesome comments AFdaw. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AFDaw Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Thanks :) I've always been told I have "different" ideas when it comes to dating. Though most who made that comment weren't members and who looked at things differently than I did anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franken Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 No problem! Yeah, actually what you said really helped me and has actually helped me change my perspective on high school. My first opinion was that I was going to date just one person all through high school, and I was sure that, that was the person I was going to marry. After hearing what you've said (and I'd kind of thought about it a little), I plan on dating many different people, instead of just the same person. She's really awesome and all, but I guess it's not a fair judgement for me seeing as how she's the only person I've really gotten to know. Thanks tons! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cedar Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by DisRuptive1@Feb 28 2004, 04:16 PM Lol, I wouldn't want to have killed myself if I had a girlfriend in highschool. So you didn't have a girlfriend in high school and therefore this made you want to die? Ok here is my insensitive comment....You didn't think much of yourself. Having a girlfriend is not where your happiness is based on. You are only happy when you serve others. You just wanted to serve yourself and you were really unhappy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cedar Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by Franken@Feb 28 2004, 10:10 PM I think breaking up with her would be a good idea, but only if you can do it without hurting feelings, here's what I think would work out for you. Who bloody cares if you hurt her feelings! You are 12! My advice for all of you. Go see the movie About A Boy (just the first 20 minutes). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cedar Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by LDSk8r890@Feb 29 2004, 07:00 PM okay Im fine with that... but wait until I'm 18!?!?!? Come on now, that's just too long of a wait. 16's ok. BUT 18?!?!?!? I'm not sure if I'll break up with her. It's not like I'm some immoral evil kid. Im twelve years old for heavens sake. I don't think I said wait till 18, I said wait for University. If you are 16 or 17 by then, good for you.You are 12 years old. That is why you have to break up! there is now a 92% chance the both of you will have sex(not with each other, just someone) before graduation. At 13-89%, 14-65%, 15-58%, 16-18%*. Notice the gap between 15 and 16. Also, for those kids who started at 16 and somehow managed to have sex in less than 2 years, it is possible they went on "kind of dates" before 16. When you say, "I am only 12", you do realize you just told Satan, "c'mon man let's see what you got! I can take it."You shouldn't be trying to tempt the devil, that is his job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cedar Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by AFDaw@Feb 29 2004, 09:11 PM "I do NOT want to spend the rest of my life with this guy." then I broke it off. There was no point for me to continue dating someone I had no desire to spend my life with. Totally! That is sooooo true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franken Posted March 1, 2004 Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by cedar+Mar 1 2004, 01:08 PM--></span><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (cedar @ Mar 1 2004, 01:08 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin--Franken@Feb 28 2004, 10:10 PM I think breaking up with her would be a good idea, but only if you can do it without hurting feelings, here's what I think would work out for you. Who bloody cares if you hurt her feelings! You are 12! My advice for all of you. Go see the movie About A Boy (just the first 20 minutes). It doesn't matter what age you are. Everyone still has feelings no matter how old. I think that is very insensitive. You wouldn't hurt someone that you love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSk8r890 Posted March 1, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 That would be wasting money seeing the first 20 minutes of a movie! And I was talking to Cedar when i said no dating till 18 was ridiculous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSk8r890 Posted March 1, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 I can tempt Satan if I want. Im giving him a challenge and seeing what he can do... Plus, Im not an idiot. Im listening to my parents. Im not going to have sex until after Im married! I dont care about the facts! Half those people aren't LDS anyway, so those percentages mean crap to me. IM NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX UNTIL AFTER IM MARRIED! Gosh, why did u even have to bring it up? I was talking about DATING in the first place! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSk8r890 Posted March 1, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2004 Franken, you are cool! You nderstand and Cedar expects someone to not have feelings! Ive already decided Im not breaking up with my girlfreind because It's MY choice. I just wanted to hear what you guys had to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franken Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 I suppose it aint so bad if you don't really date her. I have a question though, is she LDS? What does she think about dating? Have you ever asked her? Do your parents know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepthinker Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 i hate to agree with the masses, but dating when you're twelve is ridiculous. being that age is already hard enough. let alone being that ge and having a significant other. yes, you're right, it is your choice, but, they gave you advice hoping you would make the correct one. you say that you listen to yout parents and all that jazz, which is great. but if yo're listening to the prophet, except on this one thing, who's to say you won't bend a rule some other time. maybe something else that is said won't suit you jsut right, so you'll adapt it to fit your needs. it's so much easier jsut to follow all the rules the way that they are set. you dont' even have to make decision, you already know what you are and aren't going to. maybe you should jsut follow the council on this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDSk8r890 Posted March 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 The prophet says to listen to your parents when it comes to dating. My parents dont care. They know me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HalleysComet Posted March 2, 2004 Report Share Posted March 2, 2004 LOL,is dating normal yes,are we normal in middle school,NO,lol.... Halley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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