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Hheinze

Law Of Chastity and Suicidal Tendencies.

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Yes,

I realize that the farther I am from heavenly father the less likely I can feel love.

I've been raised in a family that makes me feel worthless.

I left a guy to go with my previous boyfriend he says he wants to marry me despite our breaking the loc.I regret leaving my ex...I'm uncertain about my future.I tried killing myself on monday.got back from the hospital yesterday.ive been active again in the church for like this month.i know suicide is wrong but ive had suicidal tendencies since i was 13-ish.

help.

HHeinze

Edited by Hheinze
to refocus on the problem.

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Is there anyone in person you would be comfortable talking to this about? Talking to someone on the net isn't the same as talking to someone in person. I'd say you need someone you're close to and can be open with. Only you would know who that is though.

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i know suicide is wrong but ive had suicidal tendencies since i was 13-ish.

help.

HHeinze

Please HHeinzel, call 911 or your local suicide line NOW and get professional help (psychological) right away. This is a very serious issue taking into consideration that this have been happening since you are 13. Things CAN get better if you get the kind of help you desperately need. Lots of love sister!

Suzie

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My dear sister, I can only speak from personal experince. One year ago I lost my late girlfriend to cancer at a very young age. She passed being 25 years old. I too went through a tough and personal fight with out Father in Heaven. I as well, tried to end my life. I overdosed on pain medications and am very lucky to be alive. I asked God why can't you just let me die to end my suffering. Now i know that everrything does work togther for those who love God. Seek Him first sister. He will give comfort and rest to those who ask for it. If it was not for the loving members of my ward and the wonderful elders i could talk to I am not sure what I would have done. The church is here for ya, we are all family and love one another. I will pray for you, hang in there remember that all of our suffering and trials will end one day we just need to endure. May our Father in Heaven fill your life with love and light.

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Please seek help OFFLINE!

No one here can help you, except provide words of comfort. Please call 911 or your emergency hot line if/while you're having racing thoughts of suicide. There is help but you must look in the right places! My thoughts are with you.

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i don't think that the suicide hotline would be necessary.All my thoughts derive from lack of spiritual/emotional nourishment.i need a long time counselor and my bishop.ive been talking to both which helps.I'm not like that 24/7...But I'll be sure to contact them if I feel like dying.thanks again. hheinze.

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Dear sister.

My heart goes out to you. I can relate in many ways to you. A statement by Elder Maxwell gives me a lot of comfort: "Do not mistake local cloud cover for general darkness." The storm clouds you are in will pass! The day will become brighter. Light will replace the dreary darkness.

I have had many suicidal thoughts over the years. Two cousins of mine killed themselves. It is an awful pit to be in.

I have discovered many powerful tools that help: surround yourself with positive, uplifting family, friends, music, environment. Immediately go out and help someone today! Be of service. "If you are not satisfied with your lot in life, build a service station on it." When you are in the service of your fellow men, you are only in the service of God.

Put on the full armor of God; pray continually. Believe, believe, believe! "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." -- Mark 9:24

The stage of your mind is entertaining thoughts continually. Kick the evil actors off your stage by using Pres. Packer's timeless counsel to listen to worthy, uplifting music. Select favorite hymns and start singing when evil thoughts butt in on your stage.

One of the most powerful lessons of the temple is that Satan is a weak punk! He's smart, sly, and insidiously charming but he is dismissed when you seek the light! Get a Priesthood blessing today!

Everyone has sinned. Sin makes you feel worthless. Repentance brings sweet comfort and peace. I've experienced the awful bitter fruits of sin and basked in the peace and comfort of repentance.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ works, dear sister. Heavenly Father loves you!

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I'm glad you're getting help offline with your Bishop and a long term counselor. Keep that up and you'll become what you want to be. You have millions of spiritual brothers and sisters on this planet that want you to succeed and make it back to heaven. Those that came before you, your lineage, are cheering for you. They love you and want to see you blossom into the beautiful woman they know you will be.

I realize that the farther I am from heavenly father the less likely I can feel love.

Heavenly Fathers love is unconditional and never changes. He will always love you. He is always there for you. When you pray, talk to him as if he is there with you. He is your spiritual father and is listening to you.

I've been raised in a family that makes me feel worthless.

You WERE raised in a family that made you feel worthless. Family cuts deeper than anyone else, but remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." That stuff that happened is in the past, today is what matters. Focus on what you want and take the first tiny step to get closer.

I left a guy to go with my previous boyfriend he says he wants to marry me despite our breaking the loc.I regret leaving my ex...I'm uncertain about my future.I tried killing myself on monday.got back from the hospital yesterday.ive been active again in the church for like this month.i know suicide is wrong but ive had suicidal tendencies since i was 13-ish.

help.

HHeinze

It sounds like you know what you need to do: Decide on what you want for your future.

I was in constant pain after an accident, I lived for the pain medication. I'd start to freak out if I didn't take it on time because I knew the excruciating pain would come back and it would take hours for the meds to kick in. I was stuck in bed barely able to use the bathroom on my own. I could barely clean up after myself. It would be so easy to end it all. What changed? I decided that I wanted more. I decided to be greedy for life, to scream against the darkness, to take a stand and not back down. To embrace the power and strength that comes with the decision to live.

Remember that in the pre-mortal existence you decided to take a stand and be on the side of Jesus and not Satan. You were rewarded not only with the opportunity to come this earth, but to attain one of the 3 kingdoms of glory. Even better, you are able to get married and have children! To top that off, you were so strong and worthy that you were placed on this earth during the time that the gospel is restored! Consider your brothers and sisters who were born without the possibility of ever having the gospel in their lives. You FOUND the gospel 2 years ago and have your whole life ahead of you. Can you image what it would be like without the gospel?

Look at how far you've come and how much you've lived in just 20 years, especially the last 2 years. People go there whole lives without getting as far as you have. I hope you're keeping a journal because your life is going to be an amazing tale I'm sure. I've love to hear more about.

Good luck, keep moving forward in faith sister.

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I just want to point out again that Heavenly Father loves you regaurdless of if you are able to feel/listen to it. Your heart is sort of like an onion, and when you fall behind on scripture study (I am the world worst at this), or stop sincerely praying, or sin, it adds layers on your heart that make it harder for YOU to feel it, but it is there, I promise you that.

I've had my own LOC issues. And certainly have been in situations where I felt torn between two guys. I understand wher you are coming from, right down to your upbringing and being a convert as well. I'm hear if you need to talk to someone.

All I could really suggest is to not stress about the future, it sounds like you are. Take it day by day and enjoy not knowing all of the answers. You'll get there, and as long as you keep Heavenly Father in your heart, what should happen will happen.

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Hheinze,

If you've had suicidal ideation since the age of 13, it's quite possible you have a mental illness. That's not something to be ashamed of, but you do need to get professional help. Therapy can help, and it's possible medication will be needed (I don't know--you'd need to ask a psychiatrist). There is hope, things can get better. So hang in there and be gentle with yourself, ok?

Peace,

HEP

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everyone has some type of diagnosis.i don't like to stick to psychological terms.all i know is i need my hf.

Would your answer be the same if you had a hernia or a broken leg? Being suicidal is not a healthy mental state and may be indicative of mental illness. As Elder Oaks taught on the subject of Priesthood Blessings for the sick, we pursue the blessings of modern medicine in tandem with seeking blessings from the Lord to be healed. Otherwise it is the equivalent of sitting at home watching TV all day and praying to the Lord to help us with our financial difficulties. Or in the example of Brigham Young's praying to the Lord for a good harvest without even plowing or seeding the field.

Now the blessings of modern medicine need not always mean seeking a medical professional and not all situations require one, but situations can merit professional help, so don't discount it. God has provided such light and knowledge to the world for a reason.

Edited by Dravin

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yes, i agree maybe mental illness is of concern but I am more than willing to evaluate myself and figure myself out, do not get me wrong.I am seeing a counselor and have seen many psychologists and embrace change and self-improvement but, in too many occasions, people begin to see others as the title of their medical prescription and that, good sir, is what I would like avoided.

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yes, i agree maybe mental illness is of concern but I am more than willing to evaluate myself and figure myself out, do not get me wrong.I am seeing a counselor and have seen many psychologists and embrace change and self-improvement but, in too many occasions, people begin to see others as the title of their medical prescription and that, good sir, is what I would like avoided.

Which is understandable, I wouldn't want to be seen as ADHD man (or more likely ADHD boy back in the day). People are just concerned for you and the first advice is always going to be to see a professional and it is easy to miss your comment about how you need a long term counselor and that you are seeing one.

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everyone has some type of diagnosis.i don't like to stick to psychological terms.all i know is i need my hf.

That is totally understandable and I completely agree with you 100%. I don't like it when people or doctors are so quick to label someone as something. We need more kids with Ritalin lol. I've had some pretty cruddy doctors in my time. I once had a doctor put on my medical records that I'm a probable bipolar. He was an idiot.

He gave me a yes-no type test. It wasn't very long from what I can remember. It was only maybe 10 questions. The questions were not well phrased and often times you could write both yes and no. I only remember one of the questions. It was something like do you sometimes find yourself in one mood and then your mood changes? Well of course I put yes. Anyone would honestly have put yes for that. If any thought what so ever pops into your head, it can impact the mood you're in. I never went back to that doctor. Like I said, he was retarded but I probably should have asked him what he meant by some of those questions. I had no idea he was going to just go ahead and label me as something without my knowledge. I didn't even know what bipolar was at the time. Sometimes you just want to strangle doctors.

Now of days, it seems like people just want to label everyone with something. Many parents just want to send their kid to a psychologist etc and stick them on meds. Uh, maybe the kid is depressed because of the situation they've been through? Maybe meds are not the solution? Imo, if a parent has to send their kid to a psychologist because they're not comfortable talking to them themselves, that's a huge problem right there. No amount of meds is going to fix that problem. It's like someone is trying to tell you, you're not unhappy for the reasons you believe you are. Trust what you think is right. Doctors are not always right and often times I think they're morons.

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Return missionary I have mentioned says as often as he can "I never imagined falling in love with a borderline".I have been diagnosed as bipolar although the doctor and I never even had a session- rather just a hypothesis made up from genetics and the fact that my mother has been diagnosed as such.I have been diagnosed with depression, adhd, ptsd and was put on medication when i was 8 yrs old.Thats when I started having psychiatrists.Freshman year I realized what they were doing but regardless was influenced to such an extent to believe that the pills would help that yes I am less than human without them.Theyve put me on lithium ritalin zyrtec (which made me pass out in the middle of health class freshman yr) along with other nonsense.The only difference I now feel between taking pills and not...is that my parents feel better when Im on it rather than not.Not to say that medication can be necessary but as a personal choice, I feel better understanding what my diagnosis and not being dependant on a drug to be able to better myself and practice self-mastery.I do believe from my own research that yes I probably do have ptsd and signs of depression but I have experienced that the gospel can heal all wounds and regardless of what psychological term you can reference to describe an individual, jesus christ makes up for bad experiences...You can still learn from bad experiences...Though I and I know he would prefer otherwise.

He makes weak things strong...He is the great equalizer..I need him so...!!!

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Hi. Hheize.

The Separation that you feel from GOD is an illusion. Because it is one sided. One cannot be separated from GOD anymore than one's hand is separated from our arm.

As long as we draw breath God is aware of us. He knows all of our thoughts and words....He may not listen to us or help us our of our troubles this is when we most feel alone.

From experience I have learned that if one heals our spirit and our relationship with GOD so does our body become healed. And also we begin to see more the hand of GOD in our lives.

The quickest way out of any problems is to learn to love all people and things that comes in our lives and to thank GOD in the name of Jesus each and every time we are bothered. We need to do this not only when we think good things happen but also when we have negative things happening to us.

If we love and live according to GOD's commandments we shall have the power of GOD in our lives because we are fulfilling all the law and the prophets. And the darkness that is within will soon be dispelled and replaced by Light and with light shall come the joy of life followed by happiness and prosperity. That is how it works.

bert10

Yes,

I realize that the farther I am from heavenly father the less likely I can feel love.

I've been raised in a family that makes me feel worthless.

I left a guy to go with my previous boyfriend he says he wants to marry me despite our breaking the loc.I regret leaving my ex...I'm uncertain about my future.I tried killing myself on monday.got back from the hospital yesterday.ive been active again in the church for like this month.i know suicide is wrong but ive had suicidal tendencies since i was 13-ish.

help.

HHeinze

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everyone has some type of diagnosis.i don't like to stick to psychological terms.all i know is i need my hf.

Hheinze, I am going to be a little stern here. Yes, you do need your Heavenly Father. Feel free to talk to your bishop, your RS president, or any other spiritual leader you think can help you.

HOWEVER, seeking the Lord's help does not mean you have to give up on help from professionals. It is my belief that God revealed a great deal of medical knowledge, or at least provided the means for people to discover it, so that people could learn to heal each other. In my opinion, refusing medical help is similar to refusing God's gifts.

I have known a lot of people with mental illnesses in my time, and you are not the first one to take this attitude. That's part of the problem with mental illness. It's not obviously physical, like an open wound or a broken arm, and the person gets the idea it's all spiritual, which is just not true. Of course you feel separated from God--that's because you're depressed! It's a symptom of the illness.

I suggest you take a two-pronged approach to this problem. Get professional help AND talk to spiritual leaders (and friends). The only way this is going to work, in my opinion, is if you tackle both the spiritual and the physical problems--ignoring one in favor of the other just won't cut it.

It bears repeating that these feelings are common to lots of people with mental illness. You are not alone.

If you'd like something to read, written by a General Authority, I recommend Valley of Sorrow: A Layman's Guide to Understanding Mental Illness, by Alexander B. Morrison.

Peace,

HEP

Edited by HEthePrimate

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