carbon_green Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 (edited) Hello, New here to the boards, been doing a lot of research on Mormons ever since I met this girl on a trip to another state over Thanksgiving (she randomly sat next to me). Anyways so we talked, she was from BYU, I had no idea what it was, since I really don't do research on schools or religion. Anyways I got her number at the end. I attended this volunteer gig she invited me to, that she and some of her church members attended. She starts telling me a little about herself and that's when I found out she was Mormon. I don't have a problem with that, in fact ever since I moved here I've been wanting to try out new experiences. Afterwards she invited me to service? I'm not sure if that's a good thing? My friends tell me that they are trying to lure me in or convert me. I'm agnostic by the way, and very open minded. In fact I've been doing a lot of research regarding LDS and such. The thing I like about her is that she is not only cute but very kind and sweet. Not very common from where I came from (Cali, downtown LA, the "hood"), so I am used to partying, getting drunk, etc. However I've been reading "For the Strength of Youth" and am really interested in some of the rules. In fact I wanted to practice some of those things for week and see how I do, today was my 1st day without any coffee or caffeine. I just thought that if I was genuinely interested in this girl that I'd do a lot of research. Anyways what do you guys think? Am I onto the right path? What are some signs? I plan to pick up the book of Mormon and see what other interesting tidbits I can find. Edited December 6, 2010 by carbon_green Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizzy16 Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 I think this great...but don't join because of her (if it gets to that point.) And, tell her that your interested in dating her. Not just her church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carbon_green Posted December 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 I was wondering if it's normal for them to ask you to service, just don't want to be naive and get suckered in as it's a pretty big commitment. I've never been to church in my life or had any interest, mainly because my friends/family are not part of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne627 Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Contact the missionaries! They are an excellent resource and really quite fun to be around! I am a convert to the church and one thing that I realy liked was the clean lifestyle. I gave up coffee and it was hard. I was seriously a 3-venti-drinks-a-day girl. I notice the blessings from it though. Her inviting you to service is a good thing. Though, I don't know if she meant the church service or service work. Either way, you really do not have to worry about her being a pawn trying to convert you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carbon_green Posted December 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 I think she meant service as church. Also not sure what she meant exactly by congregation? All I know is that there is a singles group for people in a certain age group. Im guessing maybe in the 20s. Maybe I'm slow haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lizzy16 Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 :) Congergation is the 'audience' at church. And, you'd be going to a singles ward. Call her up and ask he how it goes. She'd love to hear ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Hello. Welcome to this site sir. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carbon_green Posted December 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Thank-you, where would be a good place to take her? Obviously not a bar/coffee shop/movies, all of which I mentioned when I first met her lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 What about something like bowling? Totally agree..don't become interested in the church just because of her. Also nothing wrong with attending services. Just to be invited doesn't mean they are trying to lure you in. Probably just a nice gesture on her part to invite you to something she is interested in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMinja Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 As others have stated, just remember to keep your interest in her and your interest in the church seperate. There are plenty of examples where someone became interested in the church because they were dating a member and it all fell apart when they decided they didn't really like one or the other. Make sure she's clear on the distinction too. Let her know that you are interested in dating AND interested in researching the church but that you don't want those interests to overlap and get in the way of one another. It's possible she does not notice one of your interests. Maybe she knows you are interested in her and is only sharing her church interests as activities for you to do together. Or maybe she sees you are showing interest in the church and is inviting you along to let you foster that interest and doesn't even realize you are interested in dating. Just make sure it is clear you are interested in both. An invitation to attend church service is a great way to both spend time with her and learn more about the church. You'll only be "reeled in" if that is what you want. Nobody is trying to trap you in the Mormon church. Everyone is free to come and see what it is like at our Sunday service. And you are equally free to leave should you choose to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 It isn't an uncommon thing when people meet to invite the other to the events/things they enjoy in life. Would you be concerned about her invitation had it been to a sporting event or the theater? Hopefully not. It is one way in which people share what is important to them. You have the option of saying no up front, or checking it out to see if it interests you. I'm glad for the friends who invited me in high school to play basketball at the Church. It was the first step in me investigating it, and finding that it was the right place for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 What are YOUR interests? Invite her to join you. Movies are great! Just stay away from rate-R movies and you're good to go! Dave and Busters (or something like it) is always fun too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne627 Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 As far as places to take her- I'm not sure where you live, but try a fun outdoor activity. It's cheap and always memorable. Like right now, I would totally dig if a guy took me sledding or had a snowball fight with me. Or ice skating is always fun for a laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carbon_green Posted December 6, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 sweet, just got invited to another event tonight Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne627 Posted December 6, 2010 Report Share Posted December 6, 2010 Heck yes! HAve fun, and let us know how it goes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bcguy Posted December 10, 2010 Report Share Posted December 10, 2010 (edited) When I was young, I would occasionally go to church with my parents. But largely, we never went to church on Sundays. We had a LARGE version of the bible with gold leaf that we inherited from the family. I would occasionally read it. But in my mind, there had to be some truth to it. So back then, did believe in its readings and of a deity. We were of another faith then. If you are remotely possibly interested in the church, do not let the missionaries pressure you into getting baptized. Do it on your own clock. I was pressured and it was perhaps something that made me a little angry but also, have forgiven them. Give your self plenty of time to absorb the material. That is what I like about the LDS people they are very very patient. Most members of the church are converts. My bishop, was some one of them. He went to parties when in collage, then met this really nice Mormon gal who he eventually linked up with. He attended church, eventually baptized then eventually was sealed for all eternity to her. I think he is perhaps one of the best bishops I have ever met because he is patient , nice, no pressuring and congenial :) There is one truth about the church that makes us different and that is we firmly believe in family and its values. BTW, nice and sweet personality above looks and the ability to have strong will power to do the right are the best qualities in a man or woman when considering a relationship. Best of luck :) Edited December 10, 2010 by bcguy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADoyle90815 Posted December 11, 2010 Report Share Posted December 11, 2010 Don't let anyone pressure you into joining if you're not completely ready, and if she expects you to convert and you have no desire to, end the relationship as it will save both of you pain later on. If you do decide to convert, it should only be because you believe it's the right thing to do, and not to please anyone. The missionaries are known for pressuring people to schedule a baptism before they're ready, so you should let them know that you're not ready to make such a commitment so soon. In my opinion, the converts who are more likely to stay in the church are the ones who didn't rush into baptism, as they made sure they were ready to make the lifestyle changes needed. Other churches require several months to a year of classes before they'll accept someone as a member, and even then, they won't let someone join because of someone else, it has to be because the individual wants to join. As for coffee houses, they also sell hot chocolate and sometimes cider, so she might be willing to go there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roseslipper Posted December 12, 2010 Report Share Posted December 12, 2010 I think your on the right path, enjoy it....I dont think we meet everyone just by chance, but I do beleive that god puts certain people in our lives for certain reasons and certain times. also, welcome to the site, keep us posted. Best Wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FormalMan Posted December 16, 2010 Report Share Posted December 16, 2010 I'm so glad there are some sensible members who I agree with. It's not really a good idea to join the church just because you think it will make her like you more, or that you're trying to show how interested you are by being interested in her things. You've already made it clear that these two interests are totally separate, and like everyone else says, just make sure you let her know that. I remember telling my ex, that if she decided to join the church that I only wanted her to join by her own motivation and not to just make me happy or because we were together. It would tear me apart if she had joined and i knew that was her motivation. So, there's nothing wrong with letting her know your stance on the issue. And yeah, welcome to the site Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.