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ericd

confessing to my bishop??

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I am a convert and have been a member for almost 2 years now. i have had an incident with masturbation (pornography was not involved) I didn't mean for it to happen one careless stroke lead to another and it was not really due to impure thoughts ether . i feel bad about it and have done all i can to repent but not sure if I need to go to my bishop for it, i feel like i have control over it and its not an ongoing problem it just slipped. before i was a member this and pron were a problem but after found out it was wrong i put a stop to it all, and after i got baptized has never been a problem except for the incident above. I have also recently made plans with my bishop to prepare for a mission, and not sure how this will effect that.

I feel confident it will not happen again but not sure if it is necessary to see the bishop about it.

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I think one time and you repented on your own is fine for now. If you still feel wieghed down by it, you could tell him. I think its great you are that age and it hasn't been a problem for you.

If it happens again, you might see that you need a little help with it, and you could go to the bishop.

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I am a convert and have been a member for almost 2 years now. i have had an incident with masturbation (pornography was not involved) I didn't mean for it to happen one careless stroke lead to another and it was not really due to impure thoughts ether . i feel bad about it and have done all i can to repent but not sure if I need to go to my bishop for it, i feel like i have control over it and its not an ongoing problem it just slipped. before i was a member this and pron were a problem but after found out it was wrong i put a stop to it all, and after i got baptized has never been a problem except for the incident above. I have also recently made plans with my bishop to prepare for a mission, and not sure how this will effect that.

I feel confident it will not happen again but not sure if it is necessary to see the bishop about it.

Great to hear you're going on a mission. It is the best spiritual college you can ever attend as a young man. I can't begin to tell you the benefits of it, your personal growth will skyrocket. It's like bootcamp for life. That's really great news, just awesome!

As for the "incident", by church standards, yes, you need to talk to the Bishop. It is much much better to talk about it with the Bishop now, resolve it for sure and move on. You really don't want to be 2 months into your mission and have it bother you everyday. Then confess it to your Mission President and be forced to go home.

The Bishop is a Judge in Israel, he has the right and authority to decide if it's ok or not. If he says your good, then your good. If he feels you need to repent a bit more, then do it. It's not hard, it'll take a little bit of time and then you're good. It is much better to talk about it and know for sure then have it nag at you daily until you slip up again.

Remember that as you prepare for your mission Satan and his followers will do everything in their power to make these little slipups prevent you from going on a mission. Be vigilant and have an awesome mission!

Good Luck on your Mission!!

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My opinion: "Go and sin no more." but if it bothers you then yes talk to him.

I know some (many?) here will disagree but to me it's just not that big of a deal, UNLESS you have no control over it or it harms a relationship.

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Guest mormonmusic

I concur with everyone else -- move past it and get some more clean living behind you so you can answer the worthiness questions cleanly. I wouldn't waste your Bishop's time with it since it was a passing incident and in your view, unlikely to happen again (which, by the way, can be a bit of dangerous thought -- I prefer "It's not a habit and something I'm confident I can be in control of".

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I am a convert and have been a member for almost 2 years now. i have had an incident with masturbation (pornography was not involved) I didn't mean for it to happen one careless stroke lead to another and it was not really due to impure thoughts ether . i feel bad about it and have done all i can to repent but not sure if I need to go to my bishop for it, i feel like i have control over it and its not an ongoing problem it just slipped. before i was a member this and pron were a problem but after found out it was wrong i put a stop to it all, and after i got baptized has never been a problem except for the incident above. I have also recently made plans with my bishop to prepare for a mission, and not sure how this will effect that.

I feel confident it will not happen again but not sure if it is necessary to see the bishop about it.

Bishops vary from ward to ward. You might have an understanding bishop, who will tell you it's nothing to worry about and approve you to go on your mission; I'm given to understand that a lot of missionaries masturbate. On the other hand, you might have one who will try to put the fear of God into you. I had one who threatened me with church discipline for masturbating.

I think part of it is how guilty you look. When I was sixteen, my LDS father told me I was damned (to the Telestial Kingdom) because I masturbated. I felt awful and broken inside -- I didn't know shame and guilt only make addictive behaviors worse. So when I went to talk with my bishops, they saw how ashamed I was and probably thought I was doing some heavy pornography. (Does PG-rated furry art count?)

I'm not LDS anymore, and I personally feel that what I was put through by my father and some of my church leaders was abusive. I don't feel that it's wrong to masturbate, and I hope that you won't torture yourself over it like I did. Maybe just tell your bishop what you told us here -- that you don't feel that you have a problem with it. You shouldn't be kept back just for being more honest than others.

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Bishops vary from ward to ward. You might have an understanding bishop, who will tell you it's nothing to worry about and approve you to go on your mission; I'm given to understand that a lot of missionaries masturbate. On the other hand, you might have one who will try to put the fear of God into you. I had one who threatened me with church discipline for masturbating.

I think part of it is how guilty you look. When I was sixteen, my LDS father told me I was damned (to the Telestial Kingdom) because I masturbated. I felt awful and broken inside -- I didn't know shame and guilt only make addictive behaviors worse. So when I went to talk with my bishops, they saw how ashamed I was and probably thought I was doing some heavy pornography. (Does PG-rated furry art count?)

I'm not LDS anymore, and I personally feel that what I was put through by my father and some of my church leaders was abusive. I don't feel that it's wrong to masturbate, and I hope that you won't torture yourself over it like I did. Maybe just tell your bishop what you told us here -- that you don't feel that you have a problem with it. You shouldn't be kept back just for being more honest than others.

I had a situation of whether or not to confess right before I went on my mission. I had masturbated a few times and felt that I should pray about it to ask God for forgiveness. After praying, I really did believe that I was forgiven so when it came time to talk to the Stake President during my final interview before my mission, I explained to him (after he asked first, LOC question) what I had done and that I asked God to forgive me, in which I expressed to him that I believed that I was. He told me that until I had confessed to him these transgressions, that God wouldn't have forgiven me! I was blown away by this, considering that it clearly says in the book of John that Jesus forgave a woman of adultery right on the spot! ADULTERY, not just masturbation!! So why does the church teach that it's different for us than it was for her? Why is there a double standard in regards to this in the church? I don't get it.

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just once? you're a saint. if the bishop needed to hear about it every time a young man in his ward masturbated.. well.. i don't think he'd have time for a job at all.

My opinion: "Go and sin no more." but if it bothers you then yes talk to him.

I know some (many?) here will disagree but to me it's just not that big of a deal, UNLESS you have no control over it or it harms a relationship.

^^^^^^^^^What these people said.

Masturbation, while it can be classified as a sin, is considered normal by medical standards and isn't that big of a deal.

You are worrying too much, OP. :)

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Masturbation IS a violation of the law of chastity. You are concerned about it because.....inside you know it is wrong. Go and confess and forsake.

Carl...it isn't a double standard. Jesus Christ CAN forgive sin.....the Church nor your eclesiastical leaders can not forgive sin. The Lord has established that for some sins....like LOC issues....confession is required. Often confession for a single instance of a sin like this CONCLUDES the repentance process if it has been forsaken.

Normal by medical standards? So is sexual intercourse whether you are married or not. Masturbation involves control over the physical and most often is accompanied by sexual fantasy and even pornography. The next step is.....actual sex. So it is serious and that is why confession is necessary.

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Masturbation IS a violation of the law of chastity. You are concerned about it because.....inside you know it is wrong. Go and confess and forsake.

Carl...it isn't a double standard. Jesus Christ CAN forgive sin.....the Church nor your eclesiastical leaders can not forgive sin. The Lord has established that for some sins....like LOC issues....confession is required. Often confession for a single instance of a sin like this CONCLUDES the repentance process if it has been forsaken.

Normal by medical standards? So is sexual intercourse whether you are married or not. Masturbation involves control over the physical and most often is accompanied by sexual fantasy and even pornography. The next step is.....actual sex. So it is serious and that is why confession is necessary.

"Inside you know it's wrong" or because you've been conditioned that it's wrong??? :confused:

There are probably bigger fish to fry but I must say I believe "self mastery" of all things is probably a very positive thing in the eye's of the supreme being. The bigger question here is how come all the "angels" on the LDS.NET header appear to be caucasian? Is that a sample representation of the church or just a statement that you can only go to heaven if you are caucasian?

Edited by catalyst

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In the whole scheme of things, masturbation is relatively minor. We Mormons get too hung up on the little things. Like Coke-a-Cola, for example. We also tend to go WAY too hard on ourselves.

There are more important things to be worried about in this world, and the poor OP is worrying himself sick over masturbating. This should not be. He should be worrying about other more pressing matters instead.

That is my two cents, anyways.

Edited by Kurt

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In the whole scheme of things, masturbation is relatively minor. We Mormons get too hung up on the little things. Like Coke-a-Cola, for example. We also tend to go WAY too hard on ourselves.

There are more important things to be worried about in this world, and the poor OP is worrying himself sick over masturbating. This should not be. He should be worrying about other more pressing matters instead.

That is my two cents, anyways.

Did you really compare drinking caffeinated soda and masturbation as being similar "little things" in the eyes of the LDS leadership? Awesome...

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Did you really compare drinking caffeinated soda and masturbation as being similar "little things" in the eyes of the LDS leadership? Awesome...

No, and that was not my intention. I was trying to make the point that some people in our religion tend to blow certain things out of proportion and guilt trip all over the place about them. I don't like seeing shame heaped up on this guy simply because he did what 99% of all other males on this planet do on a regular basis.

Is masturbation wrong? Yes! Masturbation is wrong. But is it something he should freak out about and make a special appointment to see his bishop for because he did it ONE TIME? I don't think so.

Masturbation only becomes a problem if a person lets it control their life. The OP has no problem at all. In fact, I would venture to say that he is probably a less sinful man than the majority of people writing on this forum.

Edited by Kurt

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If you have to ask, then you need to talk to bishop. A web site is not a Judge in Israel. We have no say over forgiveness. Explain the same thing to your bishop.

I just want to add something a little more positive. None of us here has the authority to put your mind and soul at rest. The only thing we can possibly do is create more or less intellectual turmoil.

If you have doubts, talk to your bishop. That's what he's there for, and he has the authority to speak on behalf of Christ.

As a point of doctrine, the law of chastity states that sexual relations are only to be had between a man and a woman when they are legally and lawfully married. It is difficult to imagine a situation where a single man could masturbate and fit that definition. Whether it requires confession to a priesthood leader or not is a matter I'm not resolved on. My ill-informed advice is that if your actions make you feel you aren't receiving a full portion of the Spirit, then go meet with your bishop.

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It's wrong and I haven't been conditioned :)Whether or not confession is required isn't really the issue. The issue is whether you want to wonder whether you should have confessed to it or not when on your mission.

Catalyst? They are all caucasion...yes oh and young too..maybe we believe that only young caucasions go to heaven?

And they are all brunettes and mostly women and skinny women at that. And what about the bald guys? No heaven for them?

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^^^^^^^^^What these people said.

Masturbation, while it can be classified as a sin, is considered normal by medical standards and isn't that big of a deal.

You are worrying too much, OP. :)

Let's be careful how we word such things on this site. We have many investigators and many people who lurk. I would not want anyone reading this and taking it as a blanket statement that masturbation isn't that big of a deal.

Plus we aren't going by medical standards, we are going by Church standards.

As Spencer W. Kimball said: “Masturbation … is not approved of the Lord nor of his Church, regardless of what may be said by others whose ‘norms’ are lower.”

It always amazes me to read on this site people saying or justifying things by saying "Don't worry, it's only a little sin."

I have to agree with what someone said earlier...if you were concerned enough to ask..then ask your Bishop. Let him be the judge (because he is after all) to decide if anything needs to be done.

Edited by pam

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Carl...it isn't a double standard. Jesus Christ CAN forgive sin.....the Church nor your eclesiastical leaders can not forgive sin. The Lord has established that for some sins....like LOC issues....confession is required. Often confession for a single instance of a sin like this CONCLUDES the repentance process if it has been forsaken.

But if I hadn't confessed to the bishop, would I have then still been forgiven by God? That's the big question that still doesn't seem to get answered. And also, why was the aduteress woman forgiven on the spot by Jesus? What repentance process did she go through, other then be broken hearted and then ask the Lord to forgive her? Yes, I definitely see a double standard there!

Edited by Carl62

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But if I hadn't confessed to the bishop, would I have then still been forgiven by God? That's the big question that still doesn't seem to get answered. And also, why was the aduteress woman forgiven on the spot by Jesus? What repentance process did she go through, other then be broken hearted and then ask the Lord to forgive her? Yes, I definitely see a double standard there!

First, no one on this site has jurisdiction, let alone ability, to give you any feedback as to if or when you are forgiven. That is a personal thing.

And no, there is no double standard. You are spinning the situations to create the illusion of a double standard. Did the Savior tell the woman "you are forgiven"? Go back and carefully read what was really said. Then go read what Talmage, Kimball, Oaks, and many others have said about the situation you reference. There is no double standard.

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In fact, I would venture to say that he is probably a less sinful man than the majority of people writing on this forum.

Why would you assume this?

On another note I understand what you are trying to lead to but please remember you are comparing an action which has been left to your interpretation (drinking caffeinated beverages) to another that is indeed viewed as a transgression. There is a world of difference.

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And no, there is no double standard. You are spinning the situations to create the illusion of a double standard. Did the Savior tell the woman "you are forgiven"? Go back and carefully read what was really said. Then go read what Talmage, Kimball, Oaks, and many others have said about the situation you reference. There is no double standard.

While the Savior didn't utter those exact words of "you are forgiven", if you go back and see what was said (John chap. 8) after Jesus pretty much chased off the Pharisee's by asking them who they thought they were by placing judgement on someone, he then turns to the woman and asks "where are those thine acusers? hath no man condemned thee?" The woman then replies, "No man, Lord." Then Jesus says, "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more". What more needs to be done after that?! If Jesus is telling the woman that NO man, from that moment on, will EVER judge her for her sin ever again, and that's including Jesus Christ himself, then what else is there that's left to be done?! What process is there that has yet to be completed? It's over!! The case was closed when He told her to "go, and sin no more".

Edited by Carl62

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But if I hadn't confessed to the bishop, would I have then still been forgiven by God? That's the big question that still doesn't seem to get answered. And also, why was the aduteress woman forgiven on the spot by Jesus? What repentance process did she go through, other then be broken hearted and then ask the Lord to forgive her? Yes, I definitely see a double standard there!

Probably so. In the end what is required is a "mighty change of heart". The real question is....WHY wouldn't you confess.

If you had masturbated and not confessed and then were killed shortly after......would you have had time to truly repent? The story you reference is among my favorites in the scripture and it illustrates the demands of Justice (angry men wishing to stone her for breaking the law) and Mercy made available by her coming unto Christ. Let us not forget that HE will judge us as he did this woman. Of course she still had to continue with her life and forsake those sins in order to truly be forgiven.

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First off- congrats on your conversion! You've had one incident since being baptized and do not feel that you will have any more problems, right? Do you feel "guilty" or do you feel like you have it under control?

I vote with those who say that you are a saint and that you are worrying to much. I am also a convert and I had guilt so ingrained that it is still sometimes hard to shake. I think you are fine and there is no need to talk to bishop, though, it is always nice to talk to bishop. Repentance is ultimately between you and the Lord, you do not need your bishop to tell you that you are forgiven.

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