usual behavior in lds ward?

[dahlia]

Maybe it's the season, maybe it's this particular ward, I don't know, but I'd like to get a read on whether this is the way it is in most LDS wards -

1) people talk to me. They come up before service or in RS and say 'hi' or ask for me to sit next to them.

2) people invite me to their houses. weird! :)

3) people do stuff like bring holiday sweets to my house.

4) people call and ask if they can bring me food because they heard I was sick (that's some telegraph system y'all have!)

Is this just 'cause I'm new and promised to join up? Are y'all always like this? Is this what Dave Ramsey means when he tells people to see if their church can offer aid and fellowship when they have a problem?

I know that some people are called to help new members, but not everyone I've run into has that calling. I can't recall having such fellowship with any other group. I actually know people now. Joining the Church has brightened my life so much.

The sad thing is, all this niceness is making me do nice stuff too, which isn't good for my rep as the hard-hearted professor.

So, is this usual or am I being played for a newbie?

[BenRaines]

This behavior is common in most areas where LDS are found. It is not only an LDS experience but practiced by many other faiths. You will find that there are those who say that it has not happened to them or that they do not feel included. That may be true. People are people but as a whole I would say that LDS are very friendly and whether you are new to the ward, the LDS faith or not the same fellowships are extended.

Ben Raines

[miztrniceguy]

It has happened to me both ways, here in MO and in Utah.

[HiJolly]

I've had it happen much more outside of Utah, than within Utah. Oh well, for now I stay in Utah!

HiJolly

[MsMagnolia]

THat sounds like my ward in Louisiana :)

[pam]

It's common in many areas. As HiJolly mentioned, I've noticed it more in places outside of Utah than within.

[Wingnut]

A little bit of it may be the newbie thing. At the very least, there's a heightened awareness of trying to make you feel welcomed. But it is fairly typical, even not for newbies.

[Guest mormonmusic]

You've been officially bread and cookied! This means the Ward likes you and wants you to feel comfortable and wanted. Take it positively.

However, try to fight off the tendency to make you do nice things. Us scrooges.professors need to stick together, and Christmas time is when we really stand out with our curmudgeon like behavior. Don't let the season go by without at least one srooge-like initiative. You don't want to ruin Christmas.

If I have to be nice all the time, I'm lost :) (just kidding, but I too am a university professor). Perhaps Captain Curmudgeon can join with us in singing "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch".

[Guest]

Fairly common in my ward. I see a face I'm not familiar with, I get curious... So, I go introduce myself. If they seem interested, then they usually end up at my house for dinner. Several people in our ward do this type stuff.

Then Relief Society have one person called to organize service stuff - that's her "job". So, depending on how active that woman is, anybody who gets sick/having trouble/having a baby/getting married/military wife with a deployed husband/moving to a new place/etc. usually gets a sign-up sheet for some service stuff floating around in the ward.

[rameumptom]

I think your students must have bribed your ward. If they can turn you nice, you might fork over a few more good grades to them.

Actually, you will find people interested in making friendships and inviting you into their lives. And when someone is sick, we often try to care for one another. My wife had a pacemaker installed a couple months ago, and we had several families bring meals over to us for a couple weeks. And last night, some members dropped off a plate of cookies and a Christmas card.

[NeuroTypical]

Is this just 'cause I'm new and promised to join up? Are y'all always like this?

Welcome to hanging around mormons. This is not because you're new and thinking about getting baptized. This is about us being who we are.

Here's part of the relevant scriptures which guide us:

and now, as ye are ... willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

... and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things,

...if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a ccovenant with him...

We call this our 'baptismal covenant' It's a big thing you agree to when you get baptized. We're all about bearing one another's burdens and comforting each other. So yeah, you hang around mormons, you have to beat them off with a stick if they hear you're feeling down.

Example - I had shoulder surgery last week. So far, people have been offering my wife any help she needs. People watched our kids so my wife could be at the hospital without distractions. They took our kids to the ward Christmas party. They're offering rides to church. Elders poured out of the woodwork to give me a blessing before the surgery. The bishop visited us to see if there was anything we could do.

We're all about service, and that often translates into bringing food. It's one of the 'fringe benefits' of being LDS.

Keep in mind, this is service volunteered. There's no quota. For example, before the kids came, I probably helped move a dozen people in or out of houses. Then the kids came and my wife's health went down a little - I don't do moves any more, because I need to watch the kids. I do my serving on Sunday, when the kids are somewhere else.

LM

[mnn727]

Oh, those darned Mormons, being nice again <<shakinghead>>

They want to get to know you, to me one of the best things about the Church is that you can move anywhere in the world and have friends when you get there.

[dahlia]

"and now, as ye are ... willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; ... and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things,

...if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a ccovenant with him..."

Darn it, LM, now you've got me misting up. That quote always gets me. The other day I was messaging my old college buddy who converted to LDS and I found myself typing that I was so happy to have found this church. I'm a little surprised to hear myself say that, but it's the truth. I don't think I'm one of those bubbly converts; all this has made me do a lot of reading and thinking - none of which leaves a lot of space for exuberance. I am happy in the sense that I didn't know church was out there and now I do and I think my life will change for the better because of it.

[dahlia]

Oh, those darned Mormons, being nice again <<shakinghead>>

They want to get to know you, to me one of the best things about the Church is that you can move anywhere in the world and have friends when you get there.

My neighbors tell me that when they moved here, there were 2 guys from the ward on the front steps, ready to help them move in. Wow.

[BenRaines]

Only two. I have been to over 40 moves in my life to help members either moving in or moving out. Usually ten to twenty men are there to help. Some families more are there to help them move out. j/k

Ben Raines

[Lilac]

My ward (which I'm investigating for over an year now) is very friendly also.

I'm in a state not exactly known for over friendliness so this is all a bit new to me.

It's not just me. I hear and see people taking care of people.

It's nice. :)

[mnn727]

My neighbors tell me that when they moved here, there were 2 guys from the ward on the front steps, ready to help them move in. Wow.

Only 2? must be a small Ward.

[LDSVALLEY]

It is fairly typical for this neck of Canada in the LDS church. From the first day I was impressed with the number of members who were interested in us. I figured you might find our experience interesting. My wife and I joined 14 years ago and have raised 3 children in the church.

- When we needed to get medical help for my Father and was fighting the system the Bishop told us that the Ward would do what it could if we needed to hire a lawyer because he knew we had no money.

-When we went to prepare to go to the temple we again had no money so a member or members paid for the clothing and such that we needed.

- The church paid for a moving van when we had to move while my wife was giving birth to our third child and a pile of them showed up to help they also provided several meals.

-When we moved to our current Ward, I had goofed on asking our old ward for help, I made it too open so no one showed. My sister and I loaded most of a 5 ton truck when my wifes visiting teachers arrived to provide a meal and found out they had several members arrive in a few short minutes to help finish. The next day at our new house so many members arrived to help I barely moved a box.

- When we got a wood stove and money was tight a member gave us a cord of wood that all I had to do was split.

-Last year our septic field died and we had almost no money to pay for a new one. 1 member who used to install them (he is self employed) gave up 3 days of work to help our family out. Another member gave us two days and the equipment, all we had to do was pay the fuel costs as it was not his personal equipment. It allowed us to rebuild the septic for $1000 instead of $10,000.

- This year we have gotten hit hard with expenses. New computer for my wife's business, new TV, new Stove, 2000 in Van repairs, and then our decade old fridge died. A member donated a sum of money to us because they knew we had been hit hard financially.

- This Christmas, knowing that my job is gone in a couple of months the church gave us a food basket. In addition a member (don't know who) dropped off some treats and a small gift for each of our kids.

I am not lying when I say that these are not the entire list nor even all the big ones. I also know of things members have done to help out many others.

I admit my insight is mostly from two Wards I was a part of and stories from a few dozen others whom have had experience in other areas. I have to say that most members are desiring to befriend people and to help others when they can.

We are human so there are some areas where members are more clannish. Some areas where the membership are divided by social-political issues etc. A new person does tend to get a high dose of fellow shipping to help them feel welcome. It tends to come down a few degree's as a person becomes familiar with the members because they start to develop relationships with specific members.

Edited December 28, 2010 by LDSVALLEY

[dahlia]

Only 2? must be a small Ward.

Small family and they moved in when a lot of grad students move in. Since we seem to be a ward full of grad students and college faculty/staff, folks who move in and out every year, maybe there weren't many people around when they came here.

LDSVALLEY, it's wonderful that your ward is able to help you so much. I wonder, do you feel you have to repay them in some way? What do folks do for moving and things like that? I never thought 'pizza and beer' was an adequate payment for people helping you to move, but it seems that something would be in order. My '2 sizes too small' Grinch heart tells me no one does something for nothing. I'd almost be afraid to accept the help because I don't know what I'd have to do in return.

Edited December 30, 2010 by dahlia

[pam]

That's the thing though. These people that help are doing it and not expecting anything in return. I know that's a hard thing to digest..but it really is true.

[LDSVALLEY]

You pay it forward, you help those who need it in return. Sooner or later it comes back around to those who helped you.

We've left food or other things on doorsteps of those who were in need. We've moved many members and some non members, been on roofs, piled firewood, split firewood, helped clean homes and yards.

Funny thing is we have to get after our kids to do that stuff at home but they get excited when it is service work for others.

[beefche]

Yep, pay it forward. I was blessed to have church members help me finance my mission. Since that time, I've helped finance missions for some missionaries.

I help others to help them--not for anything they can give me (although it is nice when they offer to do so). It's completely a selfish reason why I help others--it makes me feel good. I like the good feelings of helping someone and so I do it to get my legal rush and buzz. And even those times when I've helped someone and they have been rude to me in return (and yes, that does happen sometimes--we are all human), I do not let it ruin me helping others. I will joke that I just earned a really cool lamp for my mansion in heaven when something like that happens.

[Joella92]

It has happened to me both ways, here in MO and in Utah.

well i live in mo and im moving utah we dont really have mormon here but in utah they do and there nice out there for the most part so if there coming to you being really nice it just who they are

[Starya]

This sounds like my ward to a T. Everyone around here is mormon and we all give each other gifts, and are always very nice.

President Hinckley even came to my ward once. Our bishop at the time was his nephew.