Help and Understanding....

[prairiegirl]

Okay--

Don't know if I can explain everything--giving it justice.

Basically goes like this: in 2 weeks I have to return to the new place I'm living, new job, new place to live--etc. after the Holidays.

I left having received an answer to many a prayer--which has sent me in loop de loops--basically cause the answer was so surprising. Let's just say--I need to prepare for more change.

This holiday season has been emotional (as many are). My mom has been in the hospital, has terminal cancer--saw her--but am now thousands of miles away. Many a family member (extended) has been ill this season. I'm now with my immediate family--and loving it (well, most of the time) as usual--especially around the children.

But in 2 weeks I have to return--knowing that somehow--in the Lord's hand--this year is going to bring more change.

Parts of the job are great! Parts--not so much.

But--I'm surviving--literally. Plus--the new place I'm at is freezing cold, full of snow, blizzards, dark etc--and in the middle of nowhere.

And--honestly--all I've encountered for the last 2 plus months is indifference from many--especially many in the ward.

The RS president makes me feel like I'm a "burden". She bends over backwards when a new family moves in--but me--she complained that I never called her--"Or they would have brought in a meal" when I moved.

I've mentioned more than once to her that I'd like help--nothing.

I've been so swamped (with work and stuff)--I have had very little time to serve.

To top it off--I know now that by this summer I'll be moving somewhere else--again--not sure where...but somewhere.

I mean--it's not that there aren't those in the ward (mainly the other single adults) whom I enjoy being around.

And I do try to go to things.

But--the overarching assumption that somehow, as a single adult, I have "more" time--is incredibly annoying.

I still don't have a calling....no home teachers....no visiting teachers (not that I've gotten my vteaching done either)...

Anyway--prayer is helping--it really is.

But--everything is just so uncertain right now....and I feel like most every real attempt I've made to connect with almost anyone there has gotten me no where.

Plus--there is absolutely no one else single my age up there--at all!

I'm beyond lonely--it's not that I'm not used to being alone---I am....

But I'm trying to pull myself up by my boot-straps here to get ready to face all this....

Anyway---I think I'm just looking for understanding--really. Perhaps advice--but really--just understanding. Sometimes it's nice to know I"m not alone....

And praying the Lord can convince those and influence those whom need it--to help the changes occur that His Spirit has been telling me to work toward...

[jmcic]

i get ya i just moved 1800 miles from wisconsin to utah because it was the answer to a prayer and i am having to deal with a lot of change. i have yet to go to my own ward yet but that scares me. i am just following where mt Heavenly Father leads me. i hope things get eaiser for you

[Guest DeborahC]

I hear you. Between my Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and being single, this can be a very lonely church. Some days I struggle with attending another church just for the socialization/community.

On the other hand, you say you haven't gotten your VT done yet... so at the risk of making you angry I would ask how you can expect others to do what you have not done?

Maybe VT might help you get to make some new friends?

I hope you feel better soon.

You're in my prayers.

[prairiegirl]

Oh--I expected someone to say to get my VTing done--and I'm working on it. I just have literally not had time. I know this seems like a "lame" excuse....but in my line of work, time is a very precious commodity--of which I have very little of. There was a Mormon Times article about just this recently--and I totally know how the woman felt in that article whose VTeachers realized that she needed dinner brought in--and realized how great that was--cause it just saved her the time to make it so she could spend more time with her family.

[Milluw]

I do relate to you as well. Big changes are coming up in my life too right now. One of those are to move to another city two hours away from where my family and everyone are. I don't know a single soul in this new city. There's 10-15 members there and they are about 60 years old and above. That's what i've been told anyway. It can be scary in a sense, but its an adventure. I think the attitude is the key. Feeling lonely and burned out can be really tough, but there is most likely a reason for you to be where you are right now. And im sure its not just for the purpose of feeling the things that you are. So maybe now is the time for you to open your eyes and your heart and see more than you've seen so faar. Talk to your father in heaven, and tell him about your worries. If you don't know what to do, or what to realise, tell him to lead you. He wants you to be happy, and if you've been answered in your prayers that you need to go a certain way, have comfort for now that if you do your part, he is leading you towards happiness :)

But thats just sharing my thoughts about it. If you ever need to vent or just to talk to someone, then feel free to message me anytime.

[Guest mirancs8]

I can relate. It's tough being a single adult. However I sort of make a joke out of it and tell them that I'm the misfit child in the Ward (single working mother). I make them laugh though they will get all serious on me and say, "no now you know that's not true."

Though my time is extremely limited (high stress job, little kids, single) I still am able to do my calling and VT. It's not easy by any measure. There are weeks on the drive home (hour drive each way) I ball my eyes out in the car. I'm sure the others on the road think I'm crazy lol. Rarely let anyone see me lose my composure only my dearest and closest friends get that honor unfortunately lol.

I have a lot of changes coming this year. Some huge changes but I see it as a renewal in my life. Though some may be tougher then others to adapt to I'm determined to make each change a positive one. Now how successful I will be at that we'll have to wait to see

[Guest]

Hi Prairiegirl...

I've noticed a trend in your posts. I could be wrong in my understanding of your personality from the meager info I gathered from your 2 posts, so take this advice as coming from somebody trying to understand you from out of 500 words or less.

You have the tendency to look inwards a lot. The I-Me-Mine tendency that all of us are prone to. You will feel a lot better - regardless of the attitudes and cliques in any ward you attend - if you look outward. Concentrate on the teachings of Christ that center on "forgetting the self in service" (okay, so I'm paraphrasing an entire gospel principle... but you get my drift). So that, you won't have to think about what your RS does for you/to you or the lack thereof and, rather, think about what you can do for the RS. You don't need a calling to do that.

Yes, we are all busy - single or otherwise - but time, like money, is dealt through priorities. Just like we put a priority on tithing over our bills, we can put priority on service over self. So yeah, it sometimes feels like nobody cares when you don't get any help when you move, etc. but that is self... putting priority on service over self is to, instead, pay close attention to people in the ward and see how you can help (without expecting service in return).

Helping on the Halloween party was one of those service things that you did that was great. But, you still looked inwards when somebody said something off-putting. So yeah, continue to look outward and I promise you, you will find more satisfaction out of it.

It is with great humility that one puts oneself in service to others. Think of Christ washing the feet of His apostles. Not once did he say, I am the Son of God - I need my feet washed too.