Do I Confess To My Bishop


ThatLDSKiD
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Do I Confess? Is it serious enough?  

25 members have voted

  1. 1. Do I Confess? Is it serious enough?

    • Yes
      17
    • No
      8


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Thanks guys. I am going to confess I just need to find time to schedule an appointment with him. I am also trying to think of how to explain myself...As I mentioned before I'm sort of the leader and role model, so I feel ashamed...Its like a slap in the face for him. Like catching the President of the US in a scandal, it hurts all of America who thought so highly of him. I'm worried but I need to put the Natural Man aside and prioritize my spiritual needs as more important. Since it is kind of complicated for my situation, the only way I can think of explaining it is in a way that makes it seem worse than it actually was, since when people hear "masturbation and porn" they think of "slippin' the hand and naked girls every single night" but it wasn't that. Oh well.

Thanks for your help everyone.

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Thanks guys. I am going to confess I just need to find time to schedule an appointment with him. I am also trying to think of how to explain myself...As I mentioned before I'm sort of the leader and role model, so I feel ashamed...Its like a slap in the face for him. Like catching the President of the US in a scandal, it hurts all of America who thought so highly of him. I'm worried but I need to put the Natural Man aside and prioritize my spiritual needs as more important. Since it is kind of complicated for my situation, the only way I can think of explaining it is in a way that makes it seem worse than it actually was, since when people hear "masturbation and porn" they think of "slippin' the hand and naked girls every single night" but it wasn't that. Oh well.

Thanks for your help everyone.

It is a good decision to talk to the Bishop. However, I think you may be berating yourself too much my young friend. Most teenage boys have challenges with this issue and I don't believe anyone is going to think less of you.

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  • 4 months later...

You really need to cut yourself some slack, you are a 13 year old boy for pity's sake. If honestly want to stop masturbating for good, then that's fine. But beating yourself to death with guilt about it isn't going to help make that happen.

Seriously, if you get yourself locked into a shame cycle with masturbation then it will only become more frequent. It's one thing to regret an action you took and not do it again, another thing entirely to self-flagellate because you made a mistake.

Take a breath, it's going to be okay. Honestly. Tomorrow is a new day, right?

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As I've pointed out numerous times before in other threads...no one on this site should ever tell someone that they don't have a need to seek counsel from their Bishop. We are not the Judge in Israel. The individuals Bishop is. "Nuf said.

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ThatLDSkid,

I hope you've been able to resolve your issues. I'm also aware that realistically there's probably a 99% chance it's not over.

What you need to know is that you are not a bad kid. I agree with the head mod that it's not our place to tell people when not to speak to the bishop. But also be aware that you are not alone and I'd bet two things- there's a good chance every person here has masturbated, and there's also a good chance that less than all of them decided to speak to their bishop about every instance. You need to know you are not a freak and the people behind these profiles are not perfect either- we simply do not discuss it. This is just to be open and frank with you. Everybody has done it, everyone feels guilty, and nobody talks about it, so the effect of guilt and isolation can be unbearable at times.

In case you're still following or reading, please don't give up hope or let this lead you to think you're unusual, bad, or let the feeling of guilt overwhelm you. I know we try to distance ourselves from our murky pasts but being less than open with a young boy struggling with this is something to be ashamed of.

Edited by b0dhi
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Hidden

You might want to learn how LDS views the Law of Chastity, learn of our moral conduct and our repentance/confession doctrine and practices before prescribing such advice for your FIRST post.

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Thanks for the support. I actually did talk to the Bishop, since creating this thread was merely a way of me to avoid the true reality that I knew I had to face. I eventually sucked it up, and did it. The Bishop took it extremely well, and it almost seemed as if he already knew. He gave me a book to help me out, some advice, and said "you can continue you Priesthood duties after your last incident."

I thought was going to be really easy, since I was under the impression that I had complete self control of the situation, but that was not true. For a while I struggled...I got up the last few days and it would happen again. It was demoralizing, very demoralizing. But from reading the scriptures I knew it was just a part of my life and that the chastisement was necessary. There were periods when I just begged Heavenly Father to let me stop and I would wonder why he would allow me to commit the sin again just days before I was done.

I've come to realize that it's because of how I was looking at my Bishop's advice. I was looking at: 3 weeks and you are pure. Nope, i still had to continue praying, repenting, and trying my hardest to be pure. I realized this and I believe I am better now. It is still a touchy subject, since the youth talk about this problem basically every Sunday and I feel uncomfortable.

Either way I have grown, and I will look back on it and say, "I was miserable kids, miserable...so don't make the same mistakes I did."

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Although it is a sin, you are not a horrible person.

Please use the guilt to help you repent if you slip

up......don't let the guilt drive you slowly away from

the Gospel.

Yes, it is a touchy subject when you know how much

you've struggled, but you desire to be pure......take

that amazingly good desire to God in prayer always

......what you desire is important to God. I have found

my desires are often way above my ability, so I talk to

God about how weak I am but how much I desire the

best. He will bless you with success no matter how long

it seems to be taking. Never give up!! Satan only wins

IF you give up. He pounds us in our weakest areas.....

especially sexual things because our sexuality is part of

our spirituality IMHO.

You should be commended for your desires to be pure.

Christ is the one that purifies us.....that is what His

Atonement is all about.

Edited by shine7
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  • 3 years later...

Masturbation means you are not in control of your body, but allowing your appetites and passions to control you.  This doesn't mean you are evil, just that you aren't where you need to be in submitting your will to your Heavenly Father's, and learning to control this body you were sent to earth to get because it was so important to becoming like Him.

 

It is as much a part of learning to control your body as is learning to control your tongue so i says kind things, your arms and legs so they get out of bed in time in the morning and are involved in doing things of worth and goodness.  But it can be harder to control these desires because Heavenly Father intentionally made them powerful so that you would want to get married and have a family.   And it is a simple fact that once you have started doing it, it will be harder to resist doing it for a long time.  Not necessarily forever thought because real repentence will get you to the place where you have no more disposition to do it.   But that will require you control your thoughts better than you have controlled them in the past.   And you will have to stop thinking that the worldly view of masturbation as a needed relief is (a) accurate or (b) an excuse.

 

An advantage of discussing it with your bishop is that you can get someone to whom you can be accountable.   It may help you resist the temptation.   Whether you confess it now or after you've conquered it, you will be asked about it during your missionary interviews, and some bishops do in your worthiness interviews while a teen.   Each time you meet with him without confessing, you will feel less than honest and peaceful.   Your call.

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